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About ajl

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    Salisbury Hill
  1. I was told to try a white noise app which just plays white noise, supposed to be good for calming the mind. They are free so its worth a go downloading one. Else a mindfulness recording might help. I actually have a kids/babies toy that projects different patterns onto the ceiling so I watch it for hours when I cant sleep, keeps me calm
  2. aspergers ceased to exist from publication of the last DSM manual that all psych people use. I got a diagnosis in the middle of last year and it was of ASD but I was told if I wanted to research to look for aspergers. I certainly don't come on the learning difficulties end of the scale unless you count my dyslexia. I hate the way they say 50% of ASD have learning difficulties, that means half will and half wont so its impossible to predict before meeting a person. I too lost full time employment but in 2013. It was a result of a nasty boss and me costing him too much money. I was replaced by someone doing my job for £6k a year (I get more in benefits than they earn, so I wouldn't get out of bed for it). It left a bitter feeling inside me as I did that job well. I then lost my home and was homeless until this week. It also took away all my confidence. I didn't get a diagnosis until the middle of 2015, it came as a relief. I am not much better able to forgive myself for some of the awkward things I do and say as I know its the asd and not intentional. Good luck finding work. Something, the right thing will come along eventually you just have to keep looking
  3. if she feels she cant work then she needs to sign on for getting ESA - support group. To do that she needs to get the doctor onside so she needs to go and see them. Does your doctors have an online booking system as I wouldn't phone but I could make a choice of who to see and when at my own leisure when I can see the appointments available online. Maybe you need to start to be tough with her. She must be getting money for things she likes from somewhere and I am guessing its from you. Perhaps you need to start saying you cant have X because I cant afford it, or I'm not treating you like a child anymore that includes paying for your things, adults get their own money and if that means ESA then you need to fill in the forms and then offer to help fill them in. If you know her NI number you can order ESA and PIP forms over the phone on her behalf. I didn't get a diagnosis until this year aged 36, I struggled to fit in my whole life with school, college etc but to get as far as 18 before diagnosis your daughter must have some skill, its not that easy to hide and imitate people so she must have some skills. Lots of people with ASD work and are very successful, so much so many of them never get a diagnosis as they never have problems in their little world. There are plenty of jobs you can do without engaging with many people. I come across a lot of people with and without ASD who aren't working and think that all jobs should be fun, meaningful etc and don't get that a lot of people just work for money, the reward is luxuries like clothes, holidays, phones etc, the work is just mundane. I packed xmas decorations in the summer and sunglass in the winter for a year as it was the only work I could find but it allowed me to run a car to take myself away from everyone when I wanted to. You probably need to be a little blunt with her, show her this response if you like but she needs to be really careful. If she isn't the far worse diagnosis to ASD would be something like personality disorder which is basically a view of a psycharist who view you are being "hard to handle" this then means that no one medical ever takes you seriously what ever the problem. It will bring into question the ASD diagnosis which a lot of mental health (MH) trusts don't accept anyway. The spiral downwards from there is a social worker and a psychiatric nurse on your case and if you don't conform you end up being sectioned and believe me the last place you want to be if you have ASD is locked up in a MH ward, its noisy, confusing, disruptive, dangerous and there is no personal space, nowhere to escape to when it all gets to much (like your own bedroom). Compared to this, filling in some forms is easy, even initially if you get put into a work group and have to show your face down the job centre every two weeks to collect the money to play the game Hope this helps a little bit
  4. I was wondering if anyone else struggles with being touched / having someone too close to you. I have a lovely boyfriend but I hate it when he touches or strokes me, I find myself thinking please just don't touch me. I hate being touched or hugged by anyone and was wondering if it was a me thing or an AS thing. Having have to have shared a bed with him for three nights I have had not been able to sleep and am totally exhausted. I also hate it when people kiss me, I feel suffocated and just want to get as far away as possible, even if I like and know that person. Is there a way of dealing with it all. I used to be able to tolerate the above but since my diagnosis this year my head doesn't seem to think of anything other than why should I struggle when its not me is my aspergers.
  5. well said Georgia I have been through / am still going through the MH services and they are all about giving you more medication to shut you up I've always known there was something wrong with me I just didn't know what as if I tried hard enough I could just about fool everyone except myself that there was nothing wrong with me. I worked out a few years back that the only person who really cared about me was me. I am happy being me even if it is hard sometimes
  6. Most people wont accept a private diagnosis. If you want it to get benefits or help with educational support etc it needs to come through the official channels. There are services in place in all areas of the UK to do late/adult ASD diagnosis. It just takes time to get through the system ( in my case 2 years) but its been worth it. The best place to start is probably the National Autistic Society NAS. If its not done properly it will just be a waste of your money. The NAS do have a private practise centre where you can get diagnosed but you still need the local people onboard to get local support (ie social worker etc) Ann
  7. not being funny but the internet is a great thing for a level playing field. Noone can see your disability as you are just a profile. You say no one understands your autistic brain, but why should they, if you are just participating in an online board it should make no difference. Do you understand a NT brain fully? ( I suggest this answer is no as you wouldn't be autistic if you did) Just because you have a disability it doesn't excuse you from anything. Its even more important that you are not participating in any arguments and that you know what to fight and what to leave and walk away from. You cant win everything. For example I get treated as being "special needs" because I am in a wheelchair a lot of people assume my brain doesn't work, I cant possible argue with everyone who talks to my career and not me so most the time I just smile and get what I need but if it comes to something important like my housing needs that is a time to speak out and get my point across. I save my energy for that that matters and not trival things. Its hard living with a head that never switches off but its hard just being a normal person as well.
  8. just don't waste your time on websites where other people don't value you. Use your energy and knowledge for something constructive that will be appriciated
  9. There is little support for asd in adults wether you are diagnosed or not sadly.
  10. You aren't obliged to tell your employer. If you do its a protected caricaturist of your disability and its discrimination if they do anything to you. But them even knowing might jeopardise your promotion prospects. If you are good at your job just don't tell them.
  11. Just to make diagnosis more difficult the manual that sets out all the mental health conditions (ASD included) has recently changed and aspergers no longer exists. It is clear that if you are on this board and communicating then you must be at the higher functioning end of the Autism scale but high functioning, aspergers etc all those terms no longer exist., You either have autism or not and people who are not trained think that you have to be at the severe learning difficulties end (which is actually not that many people) or have amazing powers of some kind. They don't realise its just because you think differently, see different things and process way to much information.
  12. Help me out here, I'm trying to explain what a huge amount of stress and change does to someone with ASD/Aspergers and the associated MH problems. I need to get across how stress affects me more that say just a normal person but I cant find the correct words to do it eloquently. thanks Ann
  13. the internet is great. I do all my own bookings that way I know they are correct and have been done, takes the stress out of it. I have been on "special" holidays and hated them ive been skiing etc. But I have also had a good experience last year with a lovely lady who offered a very personal service and you could ask all those daft questions and get almost instant answers.
  14. sounds like they are pushing for a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. It is a real "condition" but basically means to the psychiatrists that you are a pain in the back side and attention seeking. Its a term used to describe me which I argued against and last month I got a diagnosis of ASD / aspergers. Its a case of meeting the right professional and in your area there is a specific service for diagnosis of ASD in adults (I'm 36). It has taken me 2 years to get that diagnosis but I think its just about helping me start making sense of myself and how I am and being a bit more accepting of myself
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