I used to visit this forum a good few years ago now. Things seemed to be going okay until the past year or so. Feel like I'm at absolute breaking point. Here's an outline...
I've got a 14 year old son with Aspergers. He's been trapped (I say that because placing requests have been turned down repeatedly) in a mainstream environment. R desperately wants to be like his NT peers, but because of high anxiety levels, his challenging behaviour means that he sticks out like a sore thumb!
He's had several exclusions where 7 members of staff have reported to feeling threatened and intimidated by him. One has reported sexual harassment. I've been pinned against the wall by the throat and my husband (R's dad) was knocked out a few weeks ago. I've had to call the Police several times now – when they hear out address, they send 4.
Social Work have been involved for years, as have CAMHS. Social Work say that there's nothing they can do as R refuses to engage with them. Nonetheless, as I've pointed out, that doesn't help me. He can't be put in care, because they say that there are no suitable placements, and asked me outright what it would take to keep him at home. I made a placing request for an independent specialist residential school, which was recently turned down the the EA. The EA are now fighting this and I'm having to go to a Tribunal.
We have a Barnardo's support worker who really gets Autism. However, he sees a very different side to R. He takes R out to McDonalds and KFC, and basically does everything that R wants to do. As I've pointed out, the problems we have at home are when anything is asked of R – even the simplest of tasks e.g. taking his cup through to the kitchen, getting showered and dressed, etc etc.
R's Headteacher has emailed the EA and said that he'd require a huge amount of specialist support in school for his staff to support him, but he feels strongly that R's needs are not being met. Furthermore, he's outlined how challenging R can be. Still, the EA keep trying to slap him down and continue to say that he can be supported in mainstream (I should add that they did admit that they don't have any specialist schools that were willing to take him, or able to support him).
I'm really struggling. This morning things came to a head and I lost it (balled at him and told him to get out of the house). Support Worker arrived not long afterwards to calm things down. Feel like I'm at the end of my tether – and such a failure. I'm not even sure what I'm fighting the EA for anymore – I fear that R will be so difficult (he says he'll do that) at the independent school, that it wouldn't work.