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Refuseing Treatment Help


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#1 Paula

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Posted 13 November 2016 - 07:35 AM

Oh god here i go againe

 

Son 22 had an ingrowing toe nail on big toe for months wouldnt let me look ,kept it hidden typical of him reckoned it didnt hurt but it must have hurt like hell refused to go to the gp.

 

Anyway eventualy he agreed to go to the podiatrist and they removed the compleate toaenaile and treat it with phenomal or something so it wont regrow...........he was told that he would need to return weekly to get it checked and it had to be kept cleen ,dressed regualr ect ect..............he agreed to all this.

 

Now 4 weeks on after refuseing to do what was asked .......... after surgery happend............. refuseing to wear a dressing,it is realy red and swollen,yet he refuses to return either to the podiatrist or the gp,he wont let me look at the toe closely he wont let me do anything,ive made appointments he refuses to go...........

 

Im desperate what can i do.........hes 22 an adult to all intents and purposes of sound mind no one listens when im saying hes autistic he wont listen i cant force him...........hes over six foot tall and 16 stone so i cant physically force him either..........

 

Im thinking ill have to take him to a and e or a walk in centre today if he will agree...........

 

what can we do as parents of adults who refuse to do what needs doing re medical stuff........

 

I feel so guilty i should never have allowed the toenail to be removed but he absolutley assured me and the dr he would co operate and he did at first till it interfeard with his useual set in stone blasted routines................



#2 trekster

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Posted 13 November 2016 - 02:49 PM

Hi Paula

 

He's retreating into his routines to try and help himself feel safe. He seems to be severely depressed could he have Bipolar as well?

I cannot remember if you are the member that mentioned your son found plates hurt his hands? I am in constant severe pain due to

my EDS/HMS and fibromyalgia but I cannot express this in ways people will understand or in some cases accept.

 

Folk on the autism express pain in unconventional ways and that can include the types of behaviours your son is experiencing.

 

https://spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/unseen-agony-dismantling-autisms-house-of-pain/ 

 

A great book by John Clemants that you might be able to get from your local library is called;

"people with autism behaving badly moving on from social and behavioural challenges".
The link below is to a search of books by John Clemants.

http://tinyurl.com/zkhnqqp



#3 Paula

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Posted 14 November 2016 - 01:59 PM

thanks trekstar for takeing the time to respond

 

i spoke to him againe i told a few little white lies i told him i was his carer and if his toe went wrong then id be blamed for not looking after him properley and the police might take me away........... i know i know i shouldnt have done that but he poked his foot out from under the covers and i could look at his toe ..........It didnt look infected just irratated because he keeps bloomeing wearing trainers even though sandels are better whilst it heals............hes agreed to go to the podiatrist but thats not till 24th of this month it fits in with his schedule so im hopeing he wont refuse...............

 

I do realise that when hes in paine or stressed or worried then some of his behaviours rear theyre ugley head againe and start to kick of.............he becomes more focused on his routines and wont budge for england...........he becomes more controlling and i do understand this is his way to feel safe..........I am even though i vent a little on here pretty understanding of him.............

 

I dont want him to be upset or stressed i dont want him to move out the home he is better of for the moment here with us...........



#4 trekster

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Posted 18 November 2016 - 05:21 PM

There is nothing to stop you from contacting or attending carers groups. You can also request a social services assessment as a carer for your son.




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