Jem

Q7. [6252] Mr Robert Buckland (South Swindon) (Con): Will my right hon. Friend give an assurance that all new academies that will be set up will be obliged to accept children with special educational needs? The Prime Minister: I can absolutely give my hon. Friend that assurance. Academies will be required to ensure that pupils with special educational needs are admitted on the same basis as other schools. Children with special educational needs have special needs, and a compassionate, decent and tolerant country will ensure that they get the help, support, education and love that they need.

When my aspie son was at junior school, we were told that we should get him to sit the entrance exam for the local Grammar school as he was considered to be a bright lad. We did, and he was accepted. We explained that he had been diagnosed with aspergers and we were told that it was not a problem. The school even invited us all in before he started to have a look around and to meet the SEN dept., The teacher in the SEN office was very friendly, and we were told that if we had any problems, to pick up the phone and call them. That was 18 months ago and all was fine until this January when it was time to go back after Christmas, and he was even more reluctant than normal to get out of bed in the mornings (one of his biggest problems!). Remembering the words of the SEN teacher, and a little worried that he may get told off for being late, I rang them to explain that we were having a few problems, and that we were doing our best, and that is why he had been 5 or 10 mins late for the last couple of mornings, and that maybe they could have a word with him about the importance of time keeping. I thought it might make more of an impression coming from a teacher. Not long after my phone call, my wife and I were asked to come in to see his head of house to discuss his behaviour, which we did and my son was placed on report for 2 weeks to "help" him improve his behaviour. To cut a long story short, since contacting the school and "highlighting" the fact that he has aspergers, he has been placed on report for 2 weeks, has had 3 detentions, and now has a 3 hour Saturday morning detention arranged for him for some time in March, all for his "silly behaviour". He has told me that if there is any disruption in class, and the teacher does not know who the culprit is, then he gets the blame.Also, he has told me that teachers keep on asking him if he wants to be at this school. All this in the last 5 or 6 weeks, even though he was there for 18 months, and we never had any problems. We have had a couple of nasty letters from the school threatening all kinds of punishments including suspension if his behaviour does not improve.We have also been asked to come in on the 25th feb for a big meeting to discuss an IEP. Now, I may be being a little paranoid here, but I am a reasonably intelligent person, but I am getting the distinct feeling that the school are going through the motions to get rid of him.Being a rather elitist Grammar school, with a huge local reputation and an ego to match, I dont think they want this "problem" anymore.What can we do to fight back as it really is not fair on him, and it's not his fault if his school do not understand what aspergers is, which they certainly do not! Many thanks.

Many Thanks.

I have been advised that i should get my 12 year old aspie son statemented, as we are having some problems with his school. Can someone please tell me what this would involve, and do you think it would be beneficial.Many thanks, Jay.

Thanks to all of you who have offered advice , and to those who have welcomed me to this forum. I have been overwhelmed by all your support and really do feel that Me and my family are now starting to claw our way out of a black hole. I have read through the posts and have tried to digest all of your advice. I am not sure if my son has a statement of SEN.I thought he did have something posted to us shortly after diagnoses, but my wife is not so sure.He was refered to the SEN dept of his school shortly before starting there. I have since found out that his school (which is a state school) have to accept 5 SEN pupils each year, so maybe he has.Who should I ask to confirm this? I have to admit, I did not know what CAMHS was, so I have been looking up there details for my area.I think they are the best people to contact next, and will ask SS about this when they visit. I had never heard of melatonin before and will be asking our GP about this soon.I will be finding out about any local AS support groups too I think since his diagnoses My wife and I have had our heads in the sand a little bit and now its time to dig them out.We have four kids and life just seems to flash before your eyes as we are all so busy, and you just seemed to get through each day one at a time. I feel full of guilt as we never seem to have the time very often for days out and stuff like that. I have made a concious decision to get my son all the help and support he needs.I have also decided that I will no longer work six days a week. As from next week I am having sundays and mondays off so as the weather gets better, we can have more family days out on sundays, and my wife and I can have mondays to ourselves to do what needs doing Once again thanks for all your help, and I will keep you posted after our meeting with SS on Thursday.

Hi, just popped in quick just to say I will try and post later when I have more time.I would like to say a big thank you to all of you that have either read or replied to my post, I have got lots of information during the afternoon to think about.I must say I am absolutely overwhelmed by all your help. I am so glad to have stumbled across this forum.Many many thanks, and hope to speak again later. Jem.

Hi, this is my first post so I would like to tell you all about my family.My wife and I have 4 children, an 18 year old boy, studying at college, a 15 year old girl studying hard at grammer school,a 9 year old girl doing very well at the local junior school and our lovely, but very hard work, 12 year old boy who was diagnosed with AS when he was 10.He is a bright boy,who took the entrance exam for our local grammer school and was accepted. We always knew he was a bit different from the age of about 18 months, and for years we just thought he was a bit of a pain in the neck and would grow out of his strange behaviour until one day my wife trawled the internet for "child behaviour" after a particulaly bad morning.She found a website all about AS and he seem to tick all the right boxes.So a visit to our GP followed who said "I dont think so, but I will refer him anyway, to put your minds at rest". Sure enough, after several weeks of questions and tests etc he was diagnosed.What suprised me back then was the lack of follow on help or advice.It was like, "yes your son has AS, goodbye!" So we carried on the best we could,then puberty came and with it even more hard work for us trying to keep him on the right path.It has been a very hard few years for our our family, and this last week can only be described as hell. One of the worst things about living with our son is the struggle with have getting him in to bed, and getting him out of it. My wife and I have been surviving on about 4 and a half hours sleep for as long as I can remember.Just recently, as I am self employed, I have been working six days and doing ten hour shifts including weekends, so I have been unable to have a bit of a lie in and it has started to wear me down.It was back to school this week and it has been very difficult to get him up and out of the house.We are very lucky as we live a two minute walk from his school, but he is always late. We were called in to his school on tuesday to have a "chat" about his behaviour and time keeping and we all promised to try harder, as you do. Then wednesday came, and the battle was even worse than normal to get him out of the door. He has been so bad this week, I havnt been to work since last sunday. After wednesday mornings struggle, I said to my wife that we needed some help and support, and I rang social services at about ten o clock to see if they could help. It was a phone call I will never forget.After about 5 mins, I burst in to tears like I hadnt done for about twenty years.Struggling to get out all the details the kind lady was asking.I am forty years old, and consider myself no push over, and there I was blubbering like a baby. anyway, had a letter today and they are coming round next thursday for a chat. My question is, have we done the right thing, and what help and advice should we be asking for? Thanks to anyone who read my post, and I hope it wasnt too boring. I'm just glad to get it of my chest. Thanks for "listening", regards, Jem.