aspiemum2twinsplus1
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Posts posted by aspiemum2twinsplus1
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how do you cope and manage with having AS and being a mum i know being an NT mum stressful anxious time but what added pressures strain are there? as often wondered what it like? what was it like being pregnant with hormones? how does AS clash with motherhood? etc
XKLX
The worst was when my now ex-husband's behaviour got the children put on the At Risk Register. Not only did social services assume I was neglecting the kids because I was suspected of having Aspergers Syndrome (that was soon after I had found out about AS and before my diagnosis), Social Services even though it was children's disabilities we were dealing with knew nothing about AS even in 2002 (they had to start finding out about it), and the number of misunderstandings was endless (and every one risked the kids being taken into care for no good reason- once the kids are on the At Risk Register your kids are considered fair game by Social Services anyway (they nearly got taken into care because I had to take both twins to a speech and language group only one was enrolled in because their dad didn't babysit as Social Services wanted, in spite of him abusing them which actually meant the children were safer than if my ex had done what Social Services wanted- the fact the kids came close to being taken into care because of that actually came from the Social Worker). Basically anything not done their (Social Services) way and the kids go in care even if they actually are being well looked after and loved. I needed the skills and talents of the most talented lawyer but I was having to manage with the abilities and social and communication skills of an undiagnosed aspie and at the same time I was having to cope with being abused by my ex and he was blaming his treatment of me on my AS and his family verbally attacking me for not finding some lie to tell Social Services when the Social Worker brought up that my ex hadn't babysat but instead said he hadn't turned up so I had had to take both toddlers with me to the group (which was the truth- in my ex's family's eyes telling Social Services the truth is a crime). I also had so many professionals to deal with it exhausted me- professionals are so much harder to communicate with. I had no right to protect my kids from their dad- I was required to give him free access so long as the kids were awake. Yet Social Services kept on about my lack of ability to protect them. I was supposed to spot and divert my ex's anger even though he admitted he blew up without warning (so what was I to spot?) which even if possible would require excellent social and communication skills and a talent for manipulating another adult (to manipulate him into not getting annoyed and angry and to keep him happy without it being at the expense of the kids in order to protect them). I had ever worsening depression.
Since then motherhood has had its challenges but not as bad as that. My AS perhaps makes it harder to cope with when I am required to be in 3 or 4 places at once and all are as urgent as each other and it does mean that I totally lack any friends but I am not living in what felt like a war that required perfect social skills to win and losing would emotionally destroy my children.
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Not necessarily. Bid could be going through the peri-menopause. That is the time that leads up to cessation of "periods".I went into the peri menopause when I was 42 years old. For me, it started with subtle changes such as diminished libido, forgetfullness and my periods began to get lighter and shorter. I stopped menstruating when I was 47. No one is the same, we will have different symptoms as some will get "heavy and longer" with a libido they can't control !
The other thing to consider is that some autistic people may have Fragile X . One aspect of this condition is early menopause but if Bid is experiencing menopausal symptoms , I would say she is still within the normal range.
Bid, have you asked your mum when she went through her menopause, because they say that daughters tend to stop around the same time as their mothers. That was certainly true for me, as my mum ceased menstruating when she was 48yrs old.
I have never had regular periods except when they were being controlled by the combined pill (which I cannot take now). I would not be able to tell if my cycle changed its length.
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Have hoped a thread on this would appear as was too embarrassed to open one myself. My only cure for PMT was the Pill which mostly masks it. I have endured horrendously heavy periods since I was 10; I use the Pill as a method of controlling this but since I turned 40 (now 46) they have been heavy anyway. I have been wondering if heavy periods can be a problem with AS? I am now 46 and about to have TCRE and Mirena Coil. Anyone had this?I agree that chocolate is THE BEST MEDICINE. Small regular meals and not letting blood sugar drop is a more practical solution and in part works for me. I have not tried evening primrose oil yet. I do hope you find a solution, Bid. There is nothing worse than being a woman!
Yoyo
I have very heavy and irregular periods but unfortunately I am not allowed to use the pill or any other hormonal methods of controlling it. I have mild high blood pressure.
At least my PMT gives me some warning of my nest period.
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Please find below a petition I have started today regarding choice of schools for pupils with SEN. This is something I feel affects many, many SEN pupils and their families. Please sign it if you would like to. Thanks.http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/SE-NEEDS/[/url]
PS - hope the link works - am not very technically minded
Signed it
Vanessa
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I am 40 and recently started getting PMT. For me it is helpful to get it as it is the only warning I get of a period being due to start. I get mega heavy, irregular periods I used to control with the pill but as I got mild Hypertension (possibly hereditary in my case) I have been taken off of that- the only help my doctor will give me for my periods is Tranexamic Acid which almost does nothing
). I can't wait to go through the menopause and be rid of periods for ever. As I need my PMT untreated so it can warn me of my period so I can prepare for it (my periods make a lot of things difficult so I have to be ready) I haven't tried treating it.Vanessa
Hi Guys,Now I know this isn't related to autism, but I'm desperate here!!
I have never had PMT in all my life, but it seems to have developed over the last few months
Does anyone know if it's related to (gulp) turning 40, next stop the menopause??
Does anyone have any good ideas to help with the psychotic mood swings, weepiness, etc??
Yours in desperation
Bid
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I have been trying to change my Personal Photo in My Control Panel but it does not give me the option of uploading one no matter what I click on- including update photo. Is this bit of the site not working or am I doing something wrong?
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our little boy does the same thing he rips up news papers,books,wallpaper then he chews the paper to a pulp and spits it up the walls....charming habit.he also chews cables and wires,controlers for the tv and sky box,he also scrapes furniture where he is sitting with his nails and has chewed my coffee table.when left to his own devices he writes on the walls, furniture and books..it is infuriating but he cant help it we have realised it is a sensory thing and we are waiting for him to out grow it...lol..he has pica in that he mouths and chews everything and now keeps getting worms from school.i dont have advice ecept our babe is worse when he is concentrating on somthing or when he is bored.these are both his danger times.but we generally have to have a grown up with him at all times...which isnt easy..love noogsyxxxxxxxHe doesn't write on walls now but did for a long while. His twin brother was more of a chewer. His twin brother is waiting for testing for ASDs and is diagnosed with ADHD and we're not sure at present if he (the twin) has merely characteristics but not enough for a diagnosis or if he has an ASD. The one who's doing the ripping up is diagnosed with Autism and is high functioning but due to his lack of cooperation with that bit of the testing it isn't in his diagnosis. The ripping up is causing real problems for the twin brother and big brother because he sneaks shared books into his room when we are not looking and rips them up- stuff like strategy guides which they use for their games and need to be able to access and even if they didn't I can't fit them all in my wardrobe and we haven't enough high shelves. I'm a single mum so I cannot watch him every second.
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I have the same thing. Actually both my younger two have a things for ripped paper although my daughter is by far the worst. Try the book "out of sync child" and "out of sync child has fun" there are loads of recomendations for sensory based activities that aim to give them the stimulation they need without destroying what they shouldn't. I have to say, that here, not much has worked, but all these things ever do it cut it down a bit. It's pretty hard to teach a child what is, and what isn't ok to rip. At one time, I said she could rip up junk mail and leaflets, but she couldn't distinguish. I have to get to the mail before she does! I bought her a ripping up paper bin to contain it. She ripped and ripped just to fill the bin, THEN emptied it out all over the place so she could start again. We now only have wallpaper in our hallway because she rips that. I can't say much else other than sympathise with you. I am now quite phobic of seeing little bits of ripped paper all the time. They just get everywhere, including the walls where she chews it up and spits it out over them. Nice spatter patterns she likes to make!!Luke doesn't chew them. He plays with them in his imaginary stories. They represent characters. We've tried to replace the paper with toys like plastic people but unfortunately that didn't help. I haven't seen the book the Out of Sync Child. Do you know where it is sold?
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Sounds like a sensory stimuli and he is doing it to get stimulation, I would look at requesting friends or local services for old telephone directory books, and just let him rip, old news papers, cardboard, and different textured board, a brilliant book to recemmend that give more ideas on what else you could provide is a book called the Out of syncs child has fun, its got loads of sensory games, having different materials to play with that give sensory pleasure may also distract him, so having sand, water, clay, even mud if you dont mind the dirt, to explore with, many reasons he will seek this pleasure is to reduce anxieties, if your punishing him it will increase his anxiety and may do it in anger and become desruptive, its best to have planned and organised activities to give the child a sence of fun and pleasure without been in trouble.Keep treasured books in a place he cant access them and laminate as many books as possible the onces you want to share with him, charity shops have many duplicate books that you could laminate and restructure into a bind.
Its difficult to ensure they dont access letters, important information but its best its in a high safe place.
JsMum
I can't put everything out of his reach because he has a twin brother and an 11 year old brother who need to be able to access shared books and their stuff.
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HelloMy ASD son used to do this. I got around this by having a box and put some papers, books etc into it and this is what he was allowed to rip up. This worked for him so you could maybe give it a try.
Take care
Forbsay
All ready tried that. Didn't make a difference for longer than about 12 hours.
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My twin diagnosed with Autism is ripping up paper, books (even though he loves reading books), etc, in fact if it can be ripped up he will). I am trying punishments, rewards, taking away stuff to prevent it being ripped (although due to having other kids I can't take everything out of shared areas such as the lounge) but nothing seems to work. He is 8 years old. Any advice?
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Just got this from the EDCM Team - thought people here might be interested.Cat
Join us at the march to end child poverty!
Every Disabled Child Matters (EDCM) supports the campaign to End Child Poverty. We want to highlight that too many families with disabled children live in poverty.
We would like all our supporters to join us at the Keep the Promise event in Trafalgar Square on the 4th October 2008, which will call on government to end child poverty. There will be activities for children, music, games, and a short march to Trafalgar Square.
Please sign up to come along at http://www.endchildpoverty.org.uk/promise
If you can come, please reply to this email to tell us. We will email all those who reply with details about where to meet the EDCM team on the day. The first 50 replies can claim a free EDCM T-shirt!
There is now more information about Aiming High for Disabled Children on the government website. You might be interested in:
The Core Offer for families: http://www.everychildmatters.gov.uk/social...ahdc/coreoffer/
Guidance for local authorities and PCTs about short breaks: http://www.everychildmatters.gov.uk/socialcare/ahdc/news/
Getting copies of the Transforming Services programme summary:
http://www.everychildmatters.gov.uk/socialcare/ahdc/
This is the last email we are planning to send before the summer - we will back in touch with more campaigning actions in September.
We wish you all a great summer!
From Steve, Louise, Kate and Pam
London is too far for me to travel with my 3 special needs kids in the car.
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I personally believe that while you can't grow out of autism (it being a developmental disorder), you can over time learn self-awareness, control and strategies for working around the difficulties to the point where you don't display as many of the symptoms that may have been more prevalent when younger. Consequently it's possible for someone with autism to appear more 'normal' as they get older. Some people do seem to have more prominent autistic tendencies when younger but find coping mechanisms to make them less obvious - I think that's true for a few adults I know.Just my ten pennorth.
Karen
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You can potentially learn to appear normal when out and about if you're mildly affected but it can be very tiring keeping it up. I wouldn't want to do it all day even at home. Although I'm mildly affected I never quite manage it.
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I'd known for as long as I can remember that I was different but it wasn't until after we moved to Hastings the day after coming out of hospital after giving birth to my twins we came into contact with the special needs section of Sure Start (my oldest had speech difficulties at the time) and they spotted I was very like a boy with Aspergers Syndrome that was one of the children they were working with at some point after that. They told me about Aspergers Syndrome about the same time as people were begiining to supect the boys had an Autistic Spectrum Disorder. The twins must have been about 1 year old to 1 1/2 years old and their big brother about 4 years of age. I was diagnosed at Maudesly Hospital and I had 2 visits there: one in late 2002 and one in early 2003. When my twins were 2 1/2 and my oldest 5 1/2 we moved to Romsey (at Christmas 2002). My oldest lost virtually all his autisticness/aspieness with the exception of hand flapping (shortly before we moved to Hastings he was diagnosed with Global Developmental Delay and with that one exception that was all that was left except his development was uneven not globally delayed). One of the twins was diagnosed with Autism probably when he was in Nursery (his special needs Nursery takes children from 2 1/2 until they start Reception Class). The other twin is presently on the list for diagnostic testing for Autistic Spectrum Disorders and has been recently diagnosed with ADHD. The twin diagnosed with Autism is also diagnosed overactive.
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Something I don't understand is why when I click on my username (aspiemum2twinsplus1) the page that comes up (I think its called the personal portal) has Norfolk Broads under aspiemum2twinsplus1. I've never been there ever in my entire life so there is no reason I would have put it in any form so I've no idea why it is there. Also there is no way to remove it either.
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Trauma can absolutely leave a person with symptoms similar to autism. It would take a very skilled professional to untangle everything. Ultimately, you may never know.My oldest son looked like he has Aspergers Syndrome, including a very ASD type interest in street lamps, when his dad was still around (who abused all 4 of us) but got a diagnosis of Global Developmental Delay instead. When we moved away from his dad all the AS stuff disappeared and a lot of the Global Developmental Delay but not all. The special needs staff in Sure Start where we used to live though he did have AS but all the ASD type stuff, except hand flapping and a very tiny amount of odd behaviour, disappeared within weeks of moving. He's the only one in the family to hand flap like the sterotypical Autistic in our family.
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Hi all -ben was at his 'communication group' today and while drinking a coffee i picked up a copy of the (New Edition? 2007) of Tony Attwood's 'Complete Guide To Asperger's Syndrome'... I found this very succinct explanation for something which comes up regularly on forum:
Diagnosis of a relative with autism or Asperger's syndrome:
When a child or adult is diagnosed as having autism or Asperger's syndrome, parents and relatives will soon become aware of the different forms of expression of autism, and review their own family history and the characteristics of their relatives for signs of ASD, in particular Asperger's syndrome. Recent research has indicated that 46% of the first degree relatives of a child with Asperger's syndrome have a similar profile of abilities and behaviour (Volkmarr, Klin and Pauls 1998) although usually to a degree that is sub-clinical, i.e. more a description of personality than a syndrome or disorder.
After a child has a diagnosis of AS confirmed, the clinician may then receive another referral for the diagnostic assessment of a sibling or relative of the child. The diagnosis may be confirmed and clinical experience has indicated that some families have children and adults with AS within and between generations. this has been confirmed in some of the autobiographies of adults with AS (Willey, 1990). However, the subsequent diagnostic assessment may indicate that the level of expression of the characteristic is too 'mild' for a diagnosis, or the person has a number of 'fragments' of AS that are insufficient for a diagnosis. Never the less, the person may benefit from some of the strategies that are designed for the characteristics or fragments that are present in his or her profile of abilities.
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On the next page...
Sometimes partners in a relationship may acquire information from the media and consider that a diagnosis of AS may explain their husband's (or wifes') unusual hobby and difficulties with empathy and social skills. It is important to remember that many typical women feel that their partner does not understand what they are thinking or feeling, and that many natural characteristics of males could be perceived as signs of AS...
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My family is riddled with Autistic Spectrum Disorders and people who wouldn't get a diagnosis but are not NT either. My maternal grandad probably had undiagnosed AS. I have AS. I have one may be 2 sons on the spectrum (the diagnosed one has Autism (High functioning but due to his lack of co-opration with that bit of the testing its not on his diagnosis) and the other is on the waiting list for diagnostic testing and is the twin of the diagnosed one). I can think of 3 more without really thinking about it that are borderline.
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Hi! Everyone. I'm a 38 year old mum with Aspergers Syndrome and a Hearing Impairment. I have 3 boys. One is not on the spectrum (his diagnosis is Global Developmental Delay). The other 2 are twins. One twin is diagnosed with Autism and is overactive. His twin has ADHD and is waiting for his Autism diagnostic assessment. I'm in Hampshire, southern England. I was diagnosed back in 2003 at the Maudsley Hospital.
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The local mental health team want to refer me to the maudsley in south east london, when I looked at the website I couldn't actually find anything about them diagnosing adults. I could find the department for children with PDDs, but only adult ADHD. Then someone put on livejournal about how the maudsley won't take people out of area. Does anyone have any details about it as when I rang the NAS they didn't know either... I just don't want to waste another few months chasing it up only to find another dead end.I was refered to the Maudsley Hospital by my GP for my diagnosis. They do diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome in adults amongst other things.
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Don't know if this has been posted already, and hope it's OK to put it here. Sorry if I'm duplicating.We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to make it compulsory for Local Authorities, NHS and Social Care to work together to produce a strategy with guidelines for Autism / Asperger syndrome including diagnosis, pathways to services and criteria that are realistic and address supportive and lifelong support,rather than waiting for people to fall into crisis before services respond. Also to create a national data base of the numbers of people diagnosed as being on the ASD spectrum for people on the Autism/Asperger Spectrum specifically to address the issues on Fair Access to Care and support that many consequently fall through the services. Also adopting a clear pathway to services for adults on the spectrum who currently are referred to as 'high functioning' rather than awaiting their move into 'crisis' To include more preventative and supportive approach. We need to have a national data base on the numbers of people affected. Currently services are only estimating numbers consequently do not see the need for strategies and specific services.
I'm not convinced national data bases are secure after incidents like the Child Benefit one. I doubt they would just have numbers in it- they'd add it to the ID card data base probably and force us all to carry ID cards with our diagnosis on them! That said the local authority would probably need some idea of numbers to provide services and at present unless you need residential care or are in the right special school there is none anywhere I've lived. I'm wary of social services though as they are known to assume mums with AS should have their kids taken into care because of their AS.
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http://autism-prevention.blogspot.com/ Is there ANY truth in this ? are most fathers of Autistics over 33 ?My dad was 24 when I was born and I have Aspergers. My son(s) who are on the spectrum (one twin is and one may be) their dad would have been 35 at the time. My grandad probably had AS but how old his dad was when he was born is unknown.
Validating new email address gets error 500 - Internal server error.
in Forum matters
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When I tried following the instructions I get:
Server Error
500 - Internal server error.
There is a problem with the resource you are looking for, and it cannot be displayed.
Looking at the email address listed in my profile it looks like it has been changed but is that changed properly or is that just temporarily to give me a chance to validate it? I am not sure if the validating worked.