Abby

Hi Brooke My son is 9 ...and thanks gothschild We went back to GP to ask to be referred to a comunity paed as opposed to CAMHS and she said she hadnt heard of CAMHS not being the first port of call and that she didnt think they were that stretched that we wouldnt get an appoinment for ages and said we were going down the right route with CAMHS,She said she would check with her secretary who is very clued up on the matters apparently and will get back to me to make sure we are going down the right route. So,just the waiting game now until the next step. I have spoken to my sons teacher on the phone and made an apointment with her and the SENCO week after half term. If I dont feel I am getting through i will ask to see the Head but to be honest,he is a right **** and only wants his school to look good at all times no matter what.Doesnt seem to care about the kids,only the schools reputation.

My boy has been really struggling since we moved house and he started a new school. At his old school he was on a school action plan and they dealt with him brilliantly,but it was only a tiny school,now we have moved to a huge school that is really strictly run and the dont have time for him. His self esteem is getting bashed by the minute and they keep telling him off for things he cant help,he is constantly getting warnings written in his home/school diary and incident slips for "bad behaviour" and is being threatened to be put on reoprt,which is a step away from being expelled! He isnt a naughty boy and is always devasted when he comes home and tells me he got more warnings in his diary. Its always for silly things like talking too much,not concentrating,fidgeting all the time,fiddling with equipment after he has been told not to,calling out answers when it isnt his turn.These are all part of who he is,he cant help them. He is the same at home but we are used to him and make allowances-we accept him. He is being made to feel so ashamed of himself at school each and every time something like this happens. Its not on,I have called the school nurse and spoke to her today and she advised us to get him assessed,She said not to bother with CAMHS and to go to aour community peadiatrician Is this the right route? I have made an appoinment so see my GP on Tuesday of next week and hope he will refer us to the comm. paed. Cany anyone give us any advise here,are we going down the right tack? The nurse also said that she would speak to the head of year about my boy and explain things to them and that we are putting things in place now regarding his needs. Thank you for any replies I would appreciate them.I want my son to be happy and he isnt :-(

Thanks :-) Bagpuss-K2 eh,the highest mountain in the world yeah?

Thanks for all replies We have just come back from the doc and he said we should be seeing the school nurse as she will have links with everyone,rather than senco,at least initially anyway. We cant see the senco atm because they are doing sats at school (my son is 9 and isnt doing sats this year) and are too busy to give us their full attention so they said they will see us in a couple of weeks! My husband phoned the school nurse for our area and spoke to her secretary who said she will call us back but said that camhs is very stretched in this area and we will be in for a long wait Our doc is however,referring us to camhs and did listen to our concerns about our son Just wanted to say that i am not naive enough to think that,if he does have AS ,that he will outgrow it,i know its for life and theres no cure,but what i meant was,sometimes its better not knowing than being made to feel different with a DX of something "wrong" with you,im not tallking about AS specifically here,just in general,sometimes its better to be blissfully unaware,but i do also now that he does need help.i just wanted some views is all. I think i am doing the right thing anyway purely because he is struggling in school and it may be that as he gets older his "differences" are more noticable and pronounced.I often feeel like taking him out of school,to protect him as his mum,but i know it wouldnt be that simple,again,there are fors and againsts doing that too. So it looks like we are in for the waiting game now.

I am trying to get a referral back to camhs,they were less than helpful last year and gave us a few parenting session(joke) and said he didnt fit the criteria for AS as he made eye contact and was keen to interact and looked at me before answering their questions,which seemed ridiculous to me but there you go,and school gave him a good report,even though they complained about him to my face,now we have moved and he is struggling at new school,his behaviour has worsened and he isnt coping well I want to get the help he needs and i do think he has some AS traits but am worried that a DX wont help him in the long run When he is an adult how will it effect him? will he have to tell his employers if he does get a DX of AS? will he have to let DVLA know if he wants to learn to drive? will people see him through different eyes after a DX? I know he hasnt got a dx yet,but if he does,im worried that things will change,i am not just thinking of us as a family,but the future for my son I would really appreciate some advice,there must be good and bad points for getting a DX and i am not just talking immediate effects like with school I expect you have all been through this dilema which is why im asking and i am probably worrying as i have a docs appointment tomorrow to get a referral to camhs thanks

Thanks you all for your support,I will come back and let you know how we got on tomorrow I have a feeling its going to be a long road though......

I have decided to go and speak with my doc about my son and i have an appoinment on friday,my husband is taking the day of work to come with me,i am writing down everything i can think of about him and hopefully get a referral back to camhs. This is what I have so far.. getting into trouble at school due to his behaviour sillyness answering back fidgeting being disbruptive calling out answers when it isnt his turn being cheeky(he isnt,he just speaks logically,like,yes you can get a rubber to rub out ink,i have a special pen at home that rubs out ink)which is true. poor organising skills forgetful/poor memory poor handwriting talks too much easily led thinks everything is funny and will act up if he gets a laugh from his mates for being silly and he is the one who gets in trouble because he doesnt know when enough is enough At home he talks constantly about the subjects that interest him and doesnt listen to anything anyone else has to say seems obssessed with cars,engines,motors etc cant cope with homework,gets very stressed to crying point,doesnt have energy for homework,throws himself on floor like baby,he is 9,takes ages to write anything,very slow at writing,takes 3 times as long as he needs to on homework,then gets upset because it isnt right.or he thinks he will get in trouble. complains of aching leg muscles and tires out easily. takes things literally,and doesnt understand metaphors. poor time keeping/awareness of time but is constantly looking at his watch and timing things like how mamy seconds it is until eastenders is on. needs reminders to do anything ,like eating his tea,getting pj`s on.brushing his teeth,i have to be there very second or he wont get on and do anything,he needs constant butt kicking basically.(not literally) I dont want the doc to say "oh hes just a normal kid" and get rid of me Does this sound normal to you?do you think this will get us a referral? I dont want him on meds,i just want him to get the proper help and understanding he needs.I am fed up of telling his teacher he has problems,she just says he is being naughty. thanks

The link isnt working for me,but I have just figured it out-its to do with post count. ooooooohh,and I am now Salisbury Hill,lol

Aww,she does look cute,we had a black Heinz 57 once,lol,he looked a little bit like yours hmm,just noticed,why does it say under my username that I am from the Norfok Broads??

Blimey,this has opened my eyes a bit,is hypermob linked to ASD /AS ? Its just I think my son may have AS/ASD and has been DX with hypertonia/dyspraxia, They cant seem to decide which he has. He has poor balance,poor handwriting,cant hold pen properly,always complaining of aching muscles,always coming home from school saying he was so tired after P.E,he has very flexible joints,he can touch his thumb on his wrist and can bend his finers baclwards to 90 degree angles etc he was tested,the OT says hypertonia but his pead says dyspraxia. Could it be hypermobility instead? and what is the main differnce between them all? he always seems to be so tired after any physical activity. I took him to the GP once because he kept saying saying hs legs ached and always moaned when we were wallking anyweher but the doc said nothing wrong after just feelnig his legs a bit.What that proved I dont know! How on earth do you even get a referal for something like that though?

Hi baddad You know I hadnt really thought about ASD as opposed to AS,I think because my son didnt have any language delay,he could recite the alphabet at just 2 years old,did all the jigsaw puzzles we had, could count to 20, and was also toilet trained by his 2nd birthday both day and night,but now he is struggling to keep up in school due to his behaviour,lack of organisation,lack of understadning of rules and socical skills etc.He is a very bright kid,but something is causing big problems and the school are very big on "ofsted" results and dont seem to like anyone who isnt the norm..well behaved..conformists...good little girls and boys.They dont seem to like anyone who is dffernt and keep putting his behaviour down to bad behaviour when in fact he dosent have bad behaviour at home,its just that we understand him and know how to speak to him and how to word things so that he understands,I think I have just answered one of my own questions actually,its how we talk to him that makes the differnce which they obviously dont realise therefore they arent going to get the same results as we do. Regarding my sister,she did have some language delay,but not enough for it to be picked up on,she started speaking around 3ish,justs tringing two ro three words together,she has never done well in subjects at school ... except art,which everyone was surprised with when she got an A level....hmmm. She worries me,simple things like getting on the bus and asking for a ticket to somewhere seems impossible,she doesnt seem to know what to say and clams up.There is definitely something going on in her head and mum makes her feel stupid all the time.I have tried to say maybe there is something wrong her but she wont accept it.

Thats brilliant,thanks,MichelleW,you answered my next question too,this same friend also said people with AS stim,which I know is an Autistic trait,is it true that people with AS do not stim then? I have still alot to learn about this and it seems such a lot to take in,its never ending. Do even the professionals know everything ?

Can you ask the medical profs involved in your sons care about therapy for OCD phobias maybe?

Ok,I have been having a bit of a discusssion with some friends about AS,ASD,HFA etc They say that you cant have AS if you have below average I.Q Autism however you can ahve below average I.Q as people with Autism have learning difficulties. Surely you can have AS and have a below avarage I.Q ? What seems like a simple question has turned out to be quite a difficult and ongoing one! Also,it must be difficult to test someones I.Q due to learning difficulties and understanding of the questions,timing etc??? Thanks for any replies regarding this question.

Thanks Clare Is your avatar a picture of your dog?he/she looks really cute,what breed?

Thank you all so much for your replies. I am always making lists and writing out my concerns about my son,I dont want to forget anything,so always have lots of scrap bits of paper full of stuff about my boy,I then re-write it when we have an appoinment but they always skim over it all and dismiss it. I cant get my GP or CAMHS to take me seriously,even though he is having difficulties in school and is struggling to the point where he has been threatened by his very young teacher of being put on a report type thing (cant remember the name she called it) which is the step before being expelled! He isnt a naughty boy,he is very emotional and lovely,he is so sweet and caring and thougtful,he just gets silly and easily led,he never means to and is alwys so sorry afterwards.he is so misunderstood,his teachers think he is being cheeky and answering back when he is only asking a question,such as,teacher will tell him off for doing something and he will correct her and say exactly what he was doing.This appears to be back-chatting but he doesnt mean it like that,he just has to be very precise and factual.AS trait ? Its so unfair he is being treated like this,I have asked for the school SENCO to ring me to arrange an appoinment and she hasnt bothered so far.I dont want to keep pestering them but I want whats fair for my child. I havent read many posts here yet,I just took the plunge and posted straight away,will go have a look around and see if I can get some answers to my many questions. Thanks again. P.S.Can you be of low intelliengce and still have Apsergers? I now I cant help my sister if she doesnt want to be helped,but I feel she is a bit lost and alone and I want to help her. Mum just thinks she is stupid and putting it all on but she seems so sad and gets depressed alot too. She does such silly things that make mum angry,kids stuff,and laughs at things that arent funny,like her friends upsetting another friend,she seems so childlike at times but she is nearly 20.

I am here as I need some info about Aspergers I know a little but need to know more... I think my son and my sister both have Aspergers but dont know what to do next. My teenage sister is in denial and my son is too young to understand about it all.They both fit the criteria but are very very different in many ways.They both have a lack social skills,my sister doesnt really speak,I mean she can speak but doesnt seem to know how to hold a normal conversation and only speaks to her mates about teen stuff,her mates are all younger than her and she still seems very childish compared to them,she cant seem to do anything for herself,doesnt know how to ask for things,i.e.asking for something in a shop,still needs help with washing her hair and cooking etc,she goes into trance like states when you are speaking to her,like she is ignoring you,everyone gets annoyed with her but I dont know if she is doing it for attention or if she really does goes somewhere else in her head. My son is similar in that he cant do anything for himself or organise himself,he gets into trouble at school for messing about,being disruptive and shouting out answers when it isnt his turn. He is very easily led and if he thinks he is making his mates laugh he will go OTT with that until he gets caught and told off.He is on a school action plan becasue he has always had problems at all schools he has been to. We didnt get anywhere with CAMHS,they just gave us parenting classes,which were just silly,we know how to manage him at home,its at school he has more problems,they dont understand him,i mentioned Aspergers at CAMHS and they said he doesnt fit the criterai because he uses eye contact and seemed keen to join in the session and chatted alot! I found this absurd to be honest,people with Aspergers do make eye contact,and can talk for England about a subject they are interested in. My son loves taking things apart and finding out how they work.He talks constantly about his own topics,but wont listen to anything he finds boring,ie,school. or when he is asked to do something that home,like eat his tea,or get out of the bath or put his clothes tidy. Homework is a huge issue and he get so stressed that we end up leaving it,then he gets into trouble again at school. My sister has left school and doesnt really seem gifted in any area,didnt do well in her exams,and often appears really dumb,I read once that you have to have a high IQ to have Aspergers,this sounded utter rubbish to me but I need some info about this. Sorry about the long post,i just let it all out once I got started. Thankyou for any replies i can get.