shellw

Wall-e was great - my boys were excited because our last name is similar. My only big issue was that it relys a lot on none verbal communication which is difficult for Josh so whilst he liked it I found myself commentating through most of it!! Cinema and films are some of Josh's obsessions - he knows everything about films he has not even seen! Anyway, thx for the tip on tickets - I'm currently unlimited cards at �44 per month for us as a family so any savings are great! Also anyone living in Manchester and surrounding areas should consider cineworld at Bolton - its MUCH quieter than others - but buy drinks etc first one bottle of water was �2 last week! Shell x

Hi, thankyou, I just think that we should help one another out where possible and this is a skill I can use to help. Shellx

Thankyou for your thoughts and kind, helpful comments especially Nicky, m <'> y husband and I really appreciate them-any help, support or just an attempt at that is really just so nice at the moment. Shellx

Hi, I am hoping that I can be of some help here. I personally work for an organisation called action for employment or a4e - website www.a4e.co.uk and we take the contracts for people on New Deal through the job centre (long term unemployed), we also run programmes for disabled people including those with ASDs and basic skills (literacy and numeracy) needs. The programmes usually consist of supported job search and a supported work experience pacement which would give you or your children the experience of working and help you all work out whether this is right for her. After the placement we use recruiters to place people into jobs and work trials relevant to them. A4e is a nationwide company so its worth checking out their web page and if they don't run a local programme phone the customer services department who will be happy to let you know who provides this service in your area. Whilst I wouldn't reccomend job seekers allowance there are some benefits including the provision of a disabled persons advisor so you can chat to them about your options. I would also like to offer my services FREE to anyone on this forum, as part of my job I write CVs on a regular basis which are essential, along with a covering letter to apply for jobs. I also have children with ASDs and know how it feels and so would like to help anyone I can by offering to complete free cv's and cover letters, just contact me, anytime! On the question of whether to disclose a disability - I personally think employers are becoming more receptive to the benefits of employng disabled people and any employer who quotes 'positive about disabled people' will usually guarantee an interview to people with a disability as long as they meet the desired criteria for the job so look out for that it is VERY popular now!

I am in agreement with Vicky, we new people desperately need to hear from the more experienced members - people who have been there and done it - I really hope that the support I have got thus far is not going to dissapear. Shell x

The short answer to the school question is no! They are desperate for me to get Seb diagnosed because of his behaviour but on the whole Josh is not a major problem at school so they don't bother. This actually came clear on his school report where his teacher wrote nothing about his ASD butput that he needs to learn social skills to avoid disagreements with other kids. I was really annoyed and asked him if he would suggest my niece who is deaf would do better when she learnt to listen and he agreed to amend the report, although his comments were - 'Josh has improved so much over the years he just acts like a normal child - a bit quiet and likes to stick to the same things but normal' I don't think they are prepared to acknowledge his ASD if they can help it an certainly do accept that the minute he gets home he goes into complete meltdown to get the stress of the day and holding it in out. I even had his doctor come in to school for a meeting and the head REFUSED to attend - problem is moving him would cause him more distress so it is a catch 22 situation. Also another family did remove their ASD kids when the SENCO said 'if you treat them normally they will act normal'. With Seb on the other hand they are DESPERATE for me to get a diagnosis so they can get him statemented, its awful isn't it! And my boys definately do not love each other - I have actually had to have a conservatory built to seperae them its so bad but I think my hubbys illness dosen't help, they oth want all the attention which used to be practical with 2 of us but now with just me it isn't - and Josh HATES toys, he has never played with one whilst Seb loves them and takes them everywhere. Shell x btw - what does NT stand for??

Hi, Wow, your daughter sounds like my son - and - I admit sometimes I too 'lose it' with him, it is very difficult I think to live in a strict routine and I get frustrated when he has to walk around the house four times before leaving home or refuses his meal beause one pea is touching a potatoe!!!! I just think its so hard - Josh also goes to a mainstream school and when he goes through an obsessive stage it can be awful for bullying such as when he decided to performm gymnastics in the playground! On the other hand Josh often repeats things he hears several days later word for word and can therefore believe someone is picking on him after repeating a comment - he dosen't understand that the comment is not nice! Anyway, the thing about sports is the same including the gait when running - the others call him 'penguin boy'. Sorry if I am waffling, I am brand new to this forum thing but wanted to reply because I jus so recognise your desperation for change! Shell x <'>

Thankyou for welcoming me - this is just amazing, knowing that I my hubby and I are not the worst parents in the world and reading similar stories is like winning the lottery for me! Basically I have 2 boys age 9 and 5, Josh my 9 year old has been diagnosed with an ASD which is very similar to aspergers for 2 years and we have just heart breakingly come to terms with the fact that our little one has it as well after trying, unsucsefully to deal with his behavioural issues at school, making excuses like its because of Josh etc. Today was the end of that though, he was apparently fine and just suddenly stood and threw a chair across the room - no reason - no argument - he just 'wanted to see what happens',it was the same excuse he used when he picked up scissors and cut a little girls hand so I had to phone Joshs doctor who has offered to review him . The problem is both of my boys are exceptionally clever and beautiful but I just don't want them to have this thing - it feels so unfair and emotional - I am sure you all know how it feels - I am sat here writing this and crying but I just needed to tell someone. Sorry for rambling but sometimes it is all too much - Josh is also having intensive treatment for anxiety after my hubby nearly died when his bowel burst last year. Josh and Seb attend a mainstram school, Josh is 'no problem' in school but goes crazy as soon as e gets home and Seb is a problem at school but not bad at home. This is why we have resisted diagnosis for Seb - it is very confusing. Anyway - enough of my emotional ranting and I apologise to anyone who thinks I am crazy- I just needed to get it off my chest! Shell

Wow - at last, I have found somewhere where people understand the daily heartache and work that comes with having one or more children with ASD. I have already found so much info, advice and guidance here and I hope that later I will feel less emotional and able to tell my story - but thankyou ALL! Shell x