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Jannih

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Posts posted by Jannih

  2. Posted · Report reply

    It's a well known fact that humans can benefit fron interactions with animals. Just stroking an animal can reduce high blood pressure etc.

     

    There is also an organisation called "Pets As Therapy," which takes animals into hospitals and care homes.

     

    I don't doubt for one minute that this little boy has improved with this "equine therapy" but what has worked for him might not work for the next kid. Maybe horses are his obsession. Maybe his parents' relaxing holiday in Mongolia rubbed off on him. They were relaxed, he was relaxed.

     

    Better still, enrol your kids with a riding school that gives classes for disabled children.

     

    Someone had said, "Temple Grandin has spent so much time around cows, but she has not been cured of her autism." Well said, in my opinion.

     

    What does annoy me, is that parents are being asked to cough up £850 to take their kids away on a weekend course to ride horses. If you ask me, someone somewhere is being expoited.

     

    Now excuse me while I go off and stroke my pussy cat.

     

     

     

     

     

     

  3. Posted · Report reply

    Hi,

    I am sorry if this topic is out of place but don't know what to think. :unsure:

    My son told me that he dreams Jesus every night and talks to him. He gives him advice how to behave at school and also how to deal with bullies (to be nice to them). He dreams that he is looking for me but cannot find me and then, suddenly, he finds himself in a strange land where the steps appear that lead to the God's palace. He climbs them and there he talks mostly to Jesus. He smiles at my son and tells him that he watches over him. The last night the Satan appeared and tried to push him from the steps. My son woke up in a terror.

    I feel silly even while I am writing all this but I am not sure what to do, what to think,what to tell him. My son is 10 and has dx of ASD and severe Dyspraxia. I just want to add that we, as a family, are not particularly religious although believe in God.

    Did anyone had a similar experience? Any advice appreciated.

     

    Danaxxx

     

     

    He obviously believes in Jesus and Satan. Just tell him that Jesus is more powerful than Satan and that if he falls or is pushed, Jesus will catch him.

     

    If you are non-believers who would feel compromised by such advice, then maybe go down the psychoanalyitical route and try to reassure him that it is just a dream, and that dreams can be just our suppressed insecurities trying to find an outlet.

     

     

     

     

  4. Posted · Report reply

    I stand corrected, its a class b, and apparntly the police always act! do they?

     

    Anyway ASK FRANK is a great website.

     

    http://www.talktofrank.com/drugs.aspx?id=172

     

    JsMumxxx

     

     

    They downgraded cannabis to grade C, then up again to grade B. Surely it is illegal to smoke cannabis anywhere, especially in a public place such as a hall of residence.

     

    I am unsure about tobacco. I know that it can't be smoked outside in a three sided bus stop !

     

    Perhaps you should spell it out to the University authorities, in the nicest possible way of course, that if you are admitted to hospital and you die, there will be a coroner's inquest. I am sure that enough people will know the truth and volunteer information, that you pleaded on several occasions for them to deal with this problem.

     

    At the end of the day, they have the power to evict this person, who so flagrantly disregards the rules.

     

     

  7. Posted · Report reply

    I thought I was going crazy. I thought I'd read a post that I wanted to reply to but then couldn't find it, lol.

     

    This is exactly how I am too. It is such a big problem for me because someone only has to say the slightest thing and I will nearly be in tears. It's ridiculous and I hate being like it. Also if people say something insulting, but are only joking I get upset. The problem is I don't get sarcasm a lot of the time or can't tell when people are joking. I can't really offer any suggestions because I would love to know ways to help myself.

     

     

    We sound like a right pair but its good to know I am not alone !

     

    I have that problem with knowing when someone is being serious or joking. Of course it can sometimes work the other way. An ex-friend of mine was joking about me with some of her friends. I took it as good light hearted banter until she said in a tone that suggested she was ashamed of her self, " why I am I being so horrid to you" I then thought, " Yes, why is she being horrid" I was upset enough to make a discreet exit from the gathering without causing a scene. I never told her why I left when she asked me later, otherwise I would have got tearful and I feel so pathetic when I do.

     

    BTW I live quite close to South East Herts. area.

     

     

  8. Posted · Report reply

    Until about five years ago I used to cry in confrontation (or come very close to it, and back away from the issue to avoid making a fool of myself, thus it wouldn't get resolved). I'm 49 and NT.

     

    You're right, it's an inappropriate response to cry in such circumstances but I'd be wary of drawing the conclusion that it's directly linked with emotional issues associated with ASD. In my case it was immaturity, lack of confidence and lack of practice at dealing with such situations (not helped by avoiding them in case I cried :tearful: ). In time I've learned how to deal with confrontation and be assertive enough to manage it. It's not true that 'neurotypical people would voice their feelings' because very often they're experiencing the same difficulties in expressing themselves as you are.

     

    I'm not sure what to suggest in terms of practical solutions - for me it came with practice and a need to stand my ground for the sake of my son - but just wanted to let you know that you're not alone and it's not necessarily an ASD thing.

     

    Karen

    x

     

     

    By the way I am 56 and probably with a lot of growing up to do !

     

    I have done assertiveness courses. I am now able to say what I don't like and to disagree.

     

    A confrontation happens, and usually it is down to the so called "autistic traits" i.e told I do not work as a team. The problem is, if I am given work to do, I have to finish it and don't seem to be able to leave it do something else. I get anxious as I see it as a job not done and I know that when I go back to it I will have difficulty completing it because of the interruption.

     

    I consider myself as hardworking, and paying a lot of attention to detail, but because I just get on with it and keep my head down, people assume I'm not doing anything!! Meanwhile they seem to find time to joke and lark around and are very slapdash in their work. So slapdash it drives me round the bend !

     

    The other day I had to leave the section to find some paperwork and was away for 10 minutes as it was difficult to locate. I told someone where I was going, but on return I was told off for leaving the section when it was busy, even though it was quiet when I left. I felt I could not even speak out and defend myself about what I was doing, even though this paperwork was the responsibility of the person having a go at me !

     

    I have difficulty in starting and maintaining a conversation with individuals. I compensate by joining group conversations but was told that it p***s people off as I do not interact with them one to one. I do this, otherwise I would not speak to anyone and there have been so may times when I have been told that I am aloof. I think the way I'm going, I will end up as anold recluse, when that is not what I want.

     

    Please excuse the rant but everything is getting me down at the moment.

     

     

  9. Posted · Report reply

    I originally put this on KerryT's thread but removed it as I felt that I might be hijacking her topic. So if you think it looks familiar- it is- you are not going mad. LOL.

     

    I would like to know how I can communicate my feelings without a meltdown. At the moment, if I have a "confrontation," I am likely to cry, which I really hate, because I know it is an inappropriate display of emotion which is not justified - and most people are confused by this. Neurotypical people would voice their feelings, and if feeling very aggrieved, might show their annoyance in their tone of voice. The other alternative is, I say nothing, because I know I will cry. This in turn leaves me feeling very powerless. I hate being like this but I can't help it.

     

    Someone in Kerry's thread suggested autism cards but I don't think that would be appropriate for me

     

    I have not had a diagnosis yet. Maybe I might find that I don't have an ASD after all, and for that reason I have not " come out" yet. I'm not sure if I will "come out" if the diagnosis is confirmed as ASD - as it might not be received very well by my colleagues.

     

    At this moment in time, I have told the occasional person at work, in passing, that I have difficulties with face recognition, difficulty with expressing my feelings, that I am not good at managing people etc etc. I am not sure about taking on a label - if there is one that is, pending a diagnosis.

     

    I have sometimes thought about emailing eveyone at work and telling them how I feel but I think that might be a bit OTT.

     

    Any ideas, anyone ?

     

     

     

  10. Posted · Edited by Jannih · Report reply

    I can't communicate when I am not happy with something

     

    I have made feelings cards for J to help him how he feels, you can get specialised cards that express feelings, Autism cards I think there called, but they are a small card with an expression on and a decription feeling, these could help.

     

    I am not sure that these cards would be appropriate for someone who is a teacher. I have a similar problem with talking about my feelings. If I started showing these cards to my colleagues, I think their reaction would be " what the f***"

     

    I don't know if KerryT's colleagues know whether she has an ASD or whether she is like me, gets by, and just gets by, with disguising it and overcompensating in the areas that she excels.

     

    I must admit I have no answers or can offer an alternative.

  11. Posted · Report reply

    Hi

    I know someone asked this before so sorry for repeating the question.My son got his dx just before christmas,the paed gave us a letter to take to the hospital to get bloods done its for DNA and chromosome analysis,has anyone had this done?I didnt have time to query it as she had spent nearly 2 hrs on the assesment.I am not sure if it is necessary???

     

    I think it is now normal practice for blood tests to be taken, in order to find the cause of the ASD. He could have a chromosomal disorder like fragile X, which is hereditary. If your son has this, then the rest of the family, esp. those of child bearing age, should be tested and given genetic counselling.

     

     

  12. Posted · Report reply

    I just wondered how do you REALLY KNOW its free range or organic????

    I heard on the news last year a man was sued cause he claimed his chics were free range but he brought them in most of the day,I believe they need to be out certain amount of hours for this claim to be valid!

     

     

    I expect that if Tesco advertise them as organic, then they probably are. Tesco have too much to lose in way of customers, reputation etc if they were found to be involved in blatant, dishonest advertising. Not that they have the most brilliant reputation in the first place.

     

     

  13. Posted · Report reply

    Hit the parents where it hurts. Fine them.

     

    If the parents were fined for their children's criminal damage. Made to pay courts costs, repairs to damaged house/vehicles and compensation for putting a family through emotional turmoil, we might see a decrease. If the parents are on benefits then they should have deuctions made from the benefit. Not a measly £5 per week but a bigger reduction bringing them down to the "hardship allowance" level . In other words, that amounts to receiving only 2/3 of their benefit.

     

    Eviction could be another option for those in rented property, but that will only pass the problem on elsewhere. I notice that the first case they showed, the people owned their own homes. The abuser was a BT engineer. Just think, this foul mouthed man, is deemed fit to work in the community, entering the homes of people, some being vulnerable, to repair their telephone lines. I think BT should dismiss him. I hope his colleagues shamed him when he went back to work, after this was shown.

     

    Prison/young persons penal institution for the young oiks, might have the desired effect, as a rigorous, strict schedule might even give them a sense of security.

     

     

  14. Posted · Report reply

    I watched it for the first time, the other night, when chicken was on the menu.

     

    Re: the sexual tension between the two characters. I think I missed it. I don't seem to notice things like that. Not sure if it's an ASD thing !

     

    I am an omnivore and agree that we are physiologically designed to eat meat. let's get real; most animals are predators and will eat whatever is below them on the food chain. We are animals at the top of the food chain, albeit with a bit more intelligence, allegedly ! LOL.

     

    This programme is good because, I am of the belief that if you eat an animal you should be willing to kill it. It is so easy to go to the supermarket and find a clean piece of cling film, wrapped meat and buy it, emotionally cutting ourselves of from the fact, that a few weeks ago it was little lamb frolicking in the field with its mum.

     

    As for Koreans eating dogs and the Chinese eating cats. I have no problem with that either. They do not treat them as pets and so they do not have an emotional link with them. I am sure that when an Asian person sees us eating beef (the sacred cow) they are probably horrified at the thought.

     

    I was not sure about the African woman's attitude to killing the chicken and I was also glad they did not chose her to kill it. I thought she wanted to kill it for some sort of pleasure and the fact that she could not wait to go back to Nigeria to do it, I found quite shocking.

     

    The important thing is that these animals are treated humanely. Like a lot of people I buy the cheap chicken and maybe I will have to rethink on my buying habits. I have started eating organic eggs, so that's a start !

     

     

  19. Posted · Report reply

    Is it just me or does this seem wrong for people to use the word STUPID to describe the way someone is feeling.

     

     

    It does not sound right to me either. In fact this counsellor/ psychotherapist appears to be very unethical in his treatment of a client.

     

    Have a look on the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists website. If you think this person should be reported, then contact them, as they are responsible for making sure that standards are upheld.

     

    http://www.bacp.co.uk/

     

     

  20. Posted · Report reply

    Jannih, in what way your friend thought you had LD?

     

    you sound very astute to me!

     

    ASD is categorised as a learning disability even though an AS person might be intellectually superior in other areas.

     

    My friend said she thought I had a "learning disability" or suggested it over a number of years, I tended to ignore her. This time when I saw her, just before Christmas, I questioned her her clsoely as to what she meant by this. She said that she thought I exhibited a number of autistic traits. The big one for her, was that she said she could not involve me in a meaningful conversation as I would zone out frequesntly and look like I was not listening. This problem nearly ended our friendship many years ago when she poured her heart out to me about a personal crisis. Fortunately, we are still in touch, just divided by geography.

     

     

  21. Posted · Report reply

    Sorry to hear about the problems you are having on Facebook.

     

    Sometimes we can have two extremes. On one hand there are those who "gather" friends like notches on the bed post because the more friends, better their social image. Alternatively, and I put myself in this category, are those who just want to be in touch with those they love, like and care about. I have deleted some people or not acepted them in the first place as they are just people I know as acqaintances and nothing more.

     

    You said they were pally with you on a training course. Has that course ended and could it now be case of "out of sight of mind." There is probably no animosity, but sometimes people move on.

     

    I might be generalising here but I think people with ASD value their friendships more because they had to put a lot of effort in forming that friendship in the beginning. It is not easy to go off and make new friends. I think we have all been there at some point. I was dumped by a couple of very close friends. I know I offended one, in all innocence, and she refused my apologies but the other one's motives still baffles me to this day !

     

    Has anyone thought about forming a Facebook Group for the people on this forum. That would be fun !

     

     

  22. Posted · Report reply

    I don't think the discussion was only about being in paid employment and contributing financially.

     

    My parents' salaries are extremely mismatched and my mum spent about 10 years out of work when my brother and I were young, but she certainly did not spend those years failing to contribute.

     

    You are right there, Tally. There are several ways to contribute to a marriage/ family life, not necessarily in the form of monetary contributions, but if a partner gives up work to raise the kids, keep the house, then his/ her partner should support them financially. Having the time to make a delicious home cooked meal is far cheaper the living on ready made meals from the supermarket. Some times I wonder if two working partners is a false economy, especially if they have children, what with the price of child care etc.

     

    Here we have a scenario where the husband is spending all his earnings on his hobbies and neglecting his partner's and probably his children's needs.

     

    When I was growing up in the 1950s/1960, I knew a family, where the husband would steal the Family Allowance ( Child benefit ) to gamble on the horses. On occasions there would be no milk for the baby ! In those days, divorce was shameful and exceedingly costly and so she never left him. Of course this an extreme example, or is it ? The only difference is the nature of the obessession : gambling or hobbies.

     

     

     

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