Natbasher

Hah - I can't believe "a - r - s - e" is deemed too rude to print! I'm such a sweary mary

Yeah this also sounds like my son in many ways although no-one's ever mentioned ADD in relation to him. The doing loads of things at once sounds particularly familiar - the other day I was reading him a story when he decided to put Top Gear on without the sound and stare intently at that whilst also tracing the shape of a toy in his hands over and over. Being a typical NT parent I told him to stop gawping at the telly and pay attention or I wouldn't read any more (like der!! ) at which he proceeded to tell me exactly where we were up to in the story (which he'd never heard before) as well as informing me that we couldn't turn Top Gear off as the next bit's really funny (obviously an episode he had seen before!). When will I ever learn? ! I have wondered if ADD is a factor in my boy's behaviour as he is also really manic when not absorbed in a special activity or TV and is constantly yapping at high speed and volume about something or other that is often unintelligible, but when I mentioned it to the paediatrician he didn't seem to think so. I'm afraid I can't help to shed any light on where the lines are drawn behaviour-wise between ASD, ADD or anything else, but it may be worth bearing in mind that some of these features at least may just have been part of your personality even if you hadn't had AS (I am OBSCENELY disorganised and so is my NT daughter!) and and some might be symptomatic or cummulative as a result of what's going on in your life at the moment - the stress of studying and university life in general is not to be taken lightly. I know there's the odd smart-###### who just seems to breeze through it but for many students it's a struggle, and to go through uni with AS must be doubly hard. I don't know what support is available to you while you're at uni, but I'm sure there should be some sort of extra support to help with things like organisational skills etc. Sorry I'm not much help, but I do hope you find the answers you're looking for and good luck with the CAMHS!

Cheers Josie - if I never came on here again I've already found it more useful than any number of proffessionals proffering their 'expertise' (ooh do I sound bitter??) - That's a little unfair really as a couple of them have been great!

Thanks Kathryn - why didn't I think of that Doh!!

My 6 yr old becomes 'Pickle' the cat now and again and has done this since he was 3. When he is pickle I have to put down a water bowl for him to drink from and stroke him etc or he gets quite upset - He keeps it up for about 1/2 hour, then goes back to being himself again. Thankfully Pickle isn't a bitey scratchy cat unlike your little 'dog', but it makes me wonder if they do it as a way of expressing a side of their personalituy that they don't feel they can let out as themselves (or perhaps I should just leave the psycholgy to the experts!) The funny thing is my son started this after my nan called him 'Picklepuss' once as a term of endearment when he was about 2 1/2, so I think that's what put the idea in his head. I agree with Pookie about consistantly using the Supernanny style time out thing - I hate doing it as it makes me feel like a complete harriden, but so far it's been the most effective way to deal with our son's more troublesome behaviours. We also made a laminated ladder chart with velcro on each of the 7 rungs. Then we have a laminated picture of our son (which is a badly drawn cartoon style picture of him in a climbing position with a photo of his face stuck on!) with velcro on the back. When he does something 'good' he moves himself up the ladder, and when his behaviour is bad he has to move himself down. Reaching the top gets him a gold star on the chart that's on the wall next to the ladder, and reaching the bottom gets a black mark. Again he has to stick these on himself. At the end of the month if he has more stars than black marks we go to the toy shop and he chooses a reward. Not all kids will get on with this as the gratification of the reward is deffered until the end of each month, but we've found this to be the best style of reward chart yet for our son. Also, our son who has recently been diagnosed with HFA is a very sociable little boy and like your daughter a bit too over the top for many peoples liking. Hang in there, hope things get better soon, Nat.

[ What is going on. Am I mad to be waiting for his (possible) statement, to have phoned autism outreach so they can give school strategies on how to deal with him because he's not coping when today he has been a little saint. Even DH was very worried yesterday and he never worries about anything. I feel like I should just back off and let him get on with it and perhaps he will just be a regular kid! ] I felt that way for ages. My son can even have a (relatively) calm 2 or 3 weeks on end and I used to think "Oh thank god, he's growing out of it", then BANG! - back to square one and a nightmare fortnight ensues! Even the paediatrician has noted his "unusual behaviour spikes" but can't offer any suggestions as to why they happen. We've tried ruling things out eg. foods, different teachers, term/holiday time, family stress etc but can find absolutely no linking factor, so like everything else we're just trying to learn to accept it. I know what you mean about the statement thing though - It's so frustrating when you finally get some proffessional to see your child after sending them reams of notes about their behavioural difficulties then they behave like a perfect angel in front of them !

Yeah I would definately agree with that. One day after a particularly unpleasant incident at schoopl I burst into tears , saying to my son "why do you do these things - can't you see how much it upsets people" (obviously this was before we knew he had ASD). In response he too seemed to start crying and I took this to be remorse, but then within a few seconds, his crying turned to hysterical laughter. It seemed very strange at the time, but now I recognise it as a kind of 'crossed wire' in his emotional make-up. Also I think we sometimes assume that they are laughing at others' discomfort when they're not -eg. the other day I stubbed my toe which brought tears to my eyes and made me hop up and down on the spot. My son started laughing hysterically, and when I said that it was rude to laugh at people because they've hurt themself he said, "I'm not laughing because you've hurt yourself: I'm laughing because you're jumping up and down like they did in the old days!".(By this we worked out that he meant like an old silent comedy! Its just that the sight of me jumping up and down like a loony figured more strongly on his perceptual radar than the fact that I was in pain (if that makes sense) After I told him I was in pain he came and gave me a big kiss!

From what little I've read she sounds like an amazing woman. I don't suppose any of you know what the documentary was called do you -I'd like to see if it's downlaodable. Cheers, Nat x

Hi eshaw, looks like there's a few of us round here ! I did consider just a post full of these little headbanging smilies as a way of introducing myself, but then thought the better of it - I agree, the smilies are brilliant!

Thank you a ll so much for making me feel welcome. I was going to say you wouldn't believe what a relief it is to finally make contact with people who understand - but then I'm sure you all would! Bid and Pearl, it's so good to hear some positive stuff about people with ASD/Aspergers - I feel really encouraged by your stories, so thank you! NickyB, like you I think my son is amazing in a million and one ways, but unfortnately the rest of the world just don't seem to see it - they'd rather focus on the less positive behaviours than his kindness with sharing, his analytical thinking or his wicked sense of humour. I definately agree with Muppet that other people's ignorance is the greatest handicap, but I have a feeling that we're fighting a losing battle when it comes to educating those around us. Autism is after all a difficult concept to understand. To be honest , if it had never affected my life I would probably never had really understood what it was all about - like many people I thought everyone with autism was like Rainman! Even my best friend doesn't really get it - she still gets deeply offended when my son points out some dirt on her kitchen floor, or argues with her as an equal in stead of respecting her 'status' as an elder! In fact I'm seeing so many people in a whole new light - even my father who I haven't spoken to for years - I'm now thinking it's more than likely that he could be on the spectrum as it would explain so much! I think although all our experiences are different, every one of you who's replied to this topic has said something I can identify with and that's a good feeling. I don't seem to belong in many places, but I'm hoping I might just slot in here. Unfortunately I'm off to work in a minute so don't have time to browse around tonight, but I'll look forward to popping in again next time I have a night off! Take care everyone, Nat x

Hi everyone, I have lurked around here for a couple of evenings now gleaning advice & useful info and decided it's finally time to pluck up the courage and say 'hello'. I've only been on one other forum before this (an entertainment one) and found my posts usually went down like lead baloons so I've never really bothered since, but everyone here seems very friendly, so I'm going to risk it and hope my foot-in-mouth disease never causes offence here! I'm here because my 6 year old son was diagnosed with HFA about 5 weeks ago, and I've found myself completely shaken by it even though the dx was expected. Peeople keep saying "oh you must be so relieved to finally know" and I just keep nodding & smiling whilst secretly my heart plunges another few inches! I think my main problem is the permanence of it - and the absolute morbid fear that I now have for my son's future. Although he's academically very able, the school and the proffessionals who have witnessed him at school seem to think that his social behaviour is quite extreme (although we generally have less problems at home and I think when we're out at play parks etc the other kids just think he's 'a bit odd', which unfortunately leads to him being bullied sometimes). There's been so much negative press recently though with the Exeter bomber, and that poor guy who hacked into the pentagon computers and I can really see how my son could very easily grow up to do something like this - he's so easily led....and obsessed with computers!! I've read so much about HFA and aspergers in the last few weeks, I now feel far more able to understand where my son's head's at, but understanding it almost seems to make it worse, and to top it all I've developed a really overwhelming fear of me and his dad dying as I have no family who could look after him and to be blunt, I'd rather he was raised by wolves than my partner's family who live hundreds of miles away and barely know him anyway. Sorry to be morbid - I'm not always this miserable....honest! Ther's just a hell of a lot of stuff going on at the moment and I feel quite close to exploding - or maybe imploding , I'm not sure which! Anyway, now I've finished moaning I'd really like to say "thank you" to everybody, as reading the posts on here is the only thing that's helped me to feel a bit positive and also a hell of a lot less isolated. It's really great to read posts by people with autism & aspergers too and realise that it's not all doom and gloom - you've given me more hope for my son's future than I've had for a long time - that's gotta be worth a baloon !