anxiousmom

Hi, Sounds like we are in a similar place. I too have a 6 year old son who we are having checked out for possible aspergers. I spent a lot of time looking about on the net in various places and one thing that I keep being told is that only an asperger's expert can diagnose this. I was even told this by an Autism expert - that really I ought to get the aspergers expert to see him. I called the autism helpline and they sent me a list of experts in my area. This came to nothing so I extended my search on the PARIS website (www.info.autism.org.uk) and found another - I checked this out with the really helpful guys on the helpline and we are booked up to see someone in 2 weeks time. Luckily we have insurance that has agreed to cover the diagnosis. I've rambled a bit, but the jist is to make sure you see an asperger's expert. Find out who you are seeing and check them out. There's bound to be someone else here who's been through it but if you want to pick my brains further then just drop me a PM. Good luck.

My advice would be to come out and tell him. Speak to him and get everything out in the open. There may be a number of reasons he's making this decision - if you don't discuss it it'll grow in your head and you'll be thinking that he's thinking and he might just not be thinking anything of the sort. Feelings and assumptions going around your head can be really magnified and really do eat away at you. Try be calm and tell him you want him with you.... need him even. My dad used to be this all powerful figure of doom and authority... always critisising, never praising . I was never good enough and his 'advice' was always coming like it or not. One day I just flipped out - I told him that'd it'd be great to take his advice on raising my kids but unfortunately I prefer to take advice from someone who had actually had a hand in doing it themselves and that if he really cared he'd know I was doing my best and he ought to support me and not critise me. Afterall I was the product of his raising and if I'm so hopeless what does that say about him (or something along those lines!) He was gob smacked. .. but since then we've grown closer. And now anytime he comes out with something I don't like or agree with I can tell him. In short... don't bottle stuff up... better out than in and who knows it might lead to something better. <'>

That sounds promising! I went to GP last week and he was great about referring him (the fact he sat banging a toy against his head for 5 mins repeating "knuckle sandwich, knuckle sandwich" helped... oh and whilst I was reading to him in the waiting room he decided to pull out his "whatsit" like a string of chewing gum... possibly all unrelated but it helped my case!). We've been refered to our local centre and fortunately there's an AS expert there... I'll push REAL hard to see her first time to cut out as much passing on as I can. I spoke to the fantastic secretaries and though they admitted they were snowed under I was assured that I'd have an appointment within 13 weeks of them getting the letter from the GP. I just hope that's not followed by another 2 month wait to see Mr X, 6 weeks to see Dr Y and 3 months to finally see Dr Z. I've been in persuit of a private diagnosis but that seems to be just as hard.... managed to speak to only 2.... one was cripplingly expensive and the other is booked up until May next year anyway! I'm still looking... so if anyone knows of someone good...... (I'm just north of London!)

Canopus.. .I couldn't agree with you more. I've just deleted a long boring reply (mostly about me! ) I just wanted to say how much I relate to what you've said and I know how frustrating it is to be capable of so much and yet utilised so little. Having myself quit in engineering, teaching and IT, I'm almost at the other side of my mid life crisis now ( ) and I'm seriously thinking of letting the old grey matter take early retirement and turn my hand to a caring proffession... .starting with getting the happiness of my little boy fixed a little and back on the right tracks. The fact he comes home from school with homework he could have done 2 years ago means nothing to me.... I just want happier tales - that's all.

Thanks for the replies. It is heart breaking to watch... I think he's almost resigned to his freindlessness now. Hubby wants to help but I don't want to get it wrong... you know pushing in the wrong direction. Still he gets plenty of what he likes at home.... we can all play the card games (hubby is a bit of a games man and has his own personal pokemon collection that would be the envy of any school kid!) I've not heard of cambs but I have been refered to our child development center and one of the ladies there is an asperger expert... though she retires in a year so we'd better move quick. The secretaries said that as soon as they get the letter we will be 'seen' within 13 weeks... not sure how long the assessment takes after that though! Thanks again... I'll be reading this site for a few days and absorbing all I can.

Hi, I've just found this site in my search for answers. I have a lovely 6 year old son who on first inspection seems pretty normal. However, since he started school his out going excentric self has been crushed and he's becoming withdrawn. Over the past year I've been trying every trick in the book to secure him some freinds - but to no avail. I've been to the school and they've tried to initiate bonds too - but alas non stick. Other things about him include - high intelligence, literal understanding of words (but no confusion), clumbsy (can't kick or catch well - was investigated for possible dyspraxia as he couldn't hold a pencil well - very flexible joints), very niaive (would still dress as a girl, no interest in others latest crazes), obsessions (with playing card games - pokemon, yu-gi-oh etc... knows their powers, casting costs etc), he developed a nervous tic last year but this has mostly passed and he invades others space (very huggy to other kids). I would say he was out going as he manages to make a buddy in any park we go to... but at school he seems withdrawn and has even said "why doesn't anyone want to be my freind mum?" It breaks my heart and for months I've been looking for answers. I came across aspergers and he seems to tick the boxes but I've no experience of it - could it be this mild? I'm currently looking for a diagnsis... but even private it seems like I'll have to wait months! Any comments would be most welcome (I'll shut up now!)