alexmum2

Thanks Bikemad for your reply just reading it makes me feel less alone as well as sad for you and your ds. Hope things get better for you both in the future; as i hope they will for me and my ds. <'> <'>

Although my ds loves not having to go to school during the summer holidays; it's dispair for me. Every day I try and plan for us to do things, go to the cinema library bowling ect but it's always the same we always end up going on our own!; (he has only one school friend from his new school, which he wont contact out of school), (and i dont have their phone number,)we spend all of our time on our own. I unfortunately have no family to speak of, for us to go visit or spend time with. He wont go swimming any longer as he has put on weight,I invite old school friends who we used to do things with during past summer hols but they are always too busy doing things with other people(as tehy are all at different schools to my ds) or working (We moved house last year) So it's just me and ds. Our next door neighbour has 2 kids both younger than ds, she works as a ta at a local school, and when we first moved in she came round and introduced herself, and invited us round for coffee but the one time we did go she was busy and did not arrange another time for us to go back; she also goes out a lot with her kids during school hols; there is also another mum on the close where we live, she has 3 kids around the same age as ds, I have spoken to her a few times and explained my son's condition and she even said that we would have to get together some time however this has never materialisted, when i did broached the subject i drew a blank. Today my neighbours kids and the other ladies children were all playing together in the close! Not one of them called to see if my ds wanted to join in, even though my neighbours must have known we were in. It's heart breaking! Has anyone else experienced this kind of situation? I feel so isolated.

szx mum Yes he is statemented and has 25 hours he goes to learning support centre (which is within the school) during break and lunch were like your son he is happy togo but doesn't take part in anything the other kids are doing unless he has his friend there and they go on the computors. His school did arrange a buddy for him ( a boy in his year) but this didn't work out very well as they kept arguing and my son wasn't keen on this boy. They are now trying to organise a social club which will be for an hour and a half during lesson time but as yet they haven't had any response from some of the parents of the children they have approached I think this may be a none starter; his friend is the only one who at the moment has joined. His school keep trying to get him to go out in the play ground during the warm weather but he finds this too intimidating especially if he doen't have his friend with him(she doesn't stay with him all the time) There is only 1 moderate learning difficulties school near by but there are several special schools which cater for asd kids in the county but they are some distance away. I have thought about home ed more and more just lately but feel that I would not be able to keep him track and posably we would argue a lot if he were to refuse to do any studying but I would rather this than see him made ill over going to school. Just reading your post makes me feel I am not on my own as with the other post I've read and that in it's self is a great help.

Just reading your post makes me wonder if I am putting my son through a night mare., and would I be better of taking him out of secondary school now rather that wait till he has a nervous break down. He has had a very difficult time so far(he is in yr7) so much so that our last visit to Camhs revealed he was suffering from depression. I know that when he has to go back after the holidays in September he will be distroyed. He has only one friend at the school but only sees her during lunch breaks and during 3 lesson periods a week; the rest of the time he is on his own. He hates walking into lessons because he says that he dreads not finding a table where he can sit by himself because if he has to sit next to another pupil the rest of the class call out to the kid he is sat next to, that he sitting with the freek or retard. he feels that everyone hates him apart from this one girl who accepts him for waht he is, she however does not have a group of friends that she can introduce him to as she is a loner too. I tried to persuade my son to invite her to the cinema or for tea, but he just says she not that much of a friend just the only person that talks to him. I feel my son's life will head the same path as yours, because even now I have difficulty persuading him out wether to swimming or bowling or any activity he just wants to sit in front of his computor. He is not as mature as the rest of his peer group but he is a lot brighter than most of his form tutor group, i worry what to do for the best and what the future holds. Just like to say you sound a wonderful caring understand parent and I'm sure with your support your son will blossom.

Hi Stella Know what you mean ; I was asked by my son's school to request support from Cognative behavioural therapist's throught CAMHs but when i mentioned this by phone call to psychiatrist after a recent visit he said he didn't know what i was on about and that they don't provide that kind of thing; but i know that they do because of what i have read on this site and by what my son's school have said ;makes you wonder what is going on, I feel it must have something to do with funding. PS get carried away as much as you like I do. Alexmum2 x

Louisa very interesting what you have said, and I'm very please you have told me this because it prepaires me for what may or could happen oon taking this medication.; i'd just like to mention we had another visit today with CAMHS and they have now suggested that my son have a cat scan to make sure that there are no underlying organic reasons why he is hearing voices and seeing things; before they prescribe the medication ; I must admit this was a bit worrying; I seriously feel that all this is due to stress as my son says he only started to her this person and see them when he started secondary school. i keep you informed. Thanks again xx

Many thanks for everyone's reply's I will take on board what every one has said and deffinatly ask what ohter theropies they are going to offer in conjunction with this medication and what they hope it will do for my son.

Many thanks for everyone's reply's I will take on board what every one has said and deffinatly ask what ohter theropies they are going to offer in conjunction with this medication and what they hope it will do for my son.

Thanks isme I'll have a look at the web site, not sure if i want my child on medication, seems to me all they want to do is releive the syptoms but not address the the courseof the syptoms with is not fitting in at school.

Has any one's child een on this anti depressent drug if so how long for and what were the effects,did it help with the problems they were having; any info would be helpful as CAMHS have suggested that my son should go on this medication.

What does PRU stand for? also I think that children can be educated of site I presume this means a 5 hour a week tutor? I think also that the LEA will on provide tutors with a veiw to your child returning to school ar some point?

[quote name='Karen A' date='May 13 2009, 05:19 PM' post='25970ary. There should be an officer at the LA who is responsible for arranging provision for children with medical needs that require alternative provision.It would be worth contacting them once you have the GP letter if you anticipate your child being out of school for longer than 15 days.It might be worth considering how you feel about a PRU.Some people feel that it may not be appropriate provision for children with ASD or medical needs and would want to insist on home tutoring.Karen. What does PRU stand for? also I think that children can be educated of site I presume this means a 5 hour a week tutor? I think also that the LEA will on provide tutors with a veiw to your child returning to school ar some point?

I've come to the end of the line I'm thinking i should not be putting my son through this any longer. We had visit to CAHMS recently and it transpired that ds was suffereing from acute depression; they have suggested he be put on anti-depressents! Which i'm not happy about but if it will help him I'm willing to give it a go. Just wondered if anyone else's child in year 7 have been put on anti- depressents? Also have been reading different posts on the subject of removing your child from school; I think this is the only option left to us as I'm not prepared to see my son be made ill by this constant stress and depression which going to school is having on him,to face yet another day of bullying and humiliation. fFrom what I've read; if I get a letter from CAHMS and or my doctor which states that he is unfit to attend school because of his depression do the LEA have to provide home tutors? is this the case? Do i have to speak to EWO so we don't get accussed of him truenting? What other steps should we take so that (until a better alternative can be sorted out) he will be provied with some kind of out of school support? Do I contact the out of schools team myself or will the school or LEA do this? If anyone knows the answers to these questions I'd be greatful.

Karen A I would just like to add that the term wheel chair walker is the one given by the charity age concern so if you have any issues with that then you should take that up with them and not critisise the poster. I am a volunteer and thats the term the charity uses. Also I find your comments on my suggestions offensive, surley it is up to the individual as to what advice they wish to take and not up to you to say whether that advice goodor is not good advice. I am happy to read any advice anyone one wishes to give me and I am sure deskspace would be too, whther or not he feel s he could do any off the things suggested. Hope you find all the advice helpful in some way deskspace.

Ds is statemented for 25 hours and I never thought to get transport written into the statement as i was always been available to take and collect . However things have now changed and I need transport; put a request in to LEA , they got back to me saying that they would give me a decition after the annual review which was about 6 weeks away; when i did get a reply they requested more evidence eg doctors letter, letter form senco, Peadiatrician ed psychologist ect. Senco informed me last week that she has put all the eveidence together including my letter from paediatrician, doctor ed psych and her statement, I am still waiting to hear from LEA. Been paying for taxis myself since December.

I'm just having another rant and to give an update of what happened regarding ds and a teacher he was having problems with; just to say she never did return my call so today I went to speak to the SENCo as the head of studies has not yet got back to me as whether or not ds can move lessons. SENCO although very busy and was rushing the meeting as she always does; did explain that she had investigated and was told there wasn't a problem but that said she felt that there may still have been a problem for ds.She has arranged for him to catch up in the library on a one to one basis with a TA until the end of the school year when in September he will go into a differant group and will no longer be with this particular tutor. So problem solved. I was very hard to watch him making himself ill at the thought of another lesson with her. Hopfully his life will be a bit easier now.

<'> Hi i don't know what to say except that i realy feel for you, you sound like a realy nice lad; just a thought have you thought of being a volunteer in your local area? you can chose to volunteer for what you feel you would be most comfortable doing ; whether it be wheel chair walking, visiting befriending it's a good way to meet people, they may not all be the same age as you but it would get you out of the house and you would be doing some good for some one which is always a good feeling. You never know you may meet some one like your self who needs a friend to go out with in the evenings or just to hang around with. Another thought, how about getting a part time job say working behind a bar or glass collecting I know it doesn't sound very exciting or glamourous but it could lead to making friends and may open other oppertunities to socialise. Do you have a particular interest? because that would be another way out of you isolation. You sound really capable the fact that you do try and speak to people and get to know people. This may sound extreme but what about a dtaing agency? Sorry if this is no help to you but I feel at your age you sound to young to be so unhappy; good luck and let us know how it goes.

Lisac yes I was extemely angry and yes like you say I posted this thread to get advice and let of steamIsn't that what it's for? NickB has now stated she has left the forum so I am unable to defend my use of the word evil to her. Not that I feel I should as that is how I feel about this person and their teaching methods towards my son; she stated that she didn't want to join the thread well then she shouldn't if all she is going to do is criticise my choice of words, also has she not realised this person has no idea that I've branded her behaviour towards my son as evil and to say that the forum is degenerating is a very critical comment to make and to me serves no purpose. thanks for your support anyway seems to me some people like to give negative comments but cant take them.

Nobynobs:Bullying and haressment are all forms of abuse pure and simple; I'll tell you way i feel some teachers will pick on a queit child it's because they don't answer back! why would they pick on a quiet kid in the first place it's because they may notl ike that child( and it happens) for some teachers they don't or won't or can't understand ASD. to answer your question about contacting the teacher involved,I have asked this teacher to conatact me and 2 days later I'm still waiting; also what@s all this about hear say and gossip where on earth has that come from? As for the "other side of the story" like I said i am still waitng to hear it.

Bid just to say that calling a So called "profesional " evil; to me isn't that bad as am not swearing and calling them abusive names; I said this because i feel that it is evil to bully a child with a disability, to the point where it is having an effect on there health it could also be called harassment; I work in an other school and I hear parents being being called every day by some members of staff. Not all teachers "professionals" are good at there job,there are those who in my opinion should never have become teachers.

Yes i will do that; at present i am waiting to see if the head of studies can make the necassary arrangements to move him if not then that would be my next step.

Yes it was only touched on briefly; this visit was not about this teacher but the difficulties he has had recently; he doesn't like the sex education lessons and was taken out of them at one point. H e sometimes has silly brhaviour but I believe that to manifest it's self when he is stressed.

frogslegs just to let you know that I understand were you are coming from with regards to baddad's comments ;I was very upset by his sarcasm in his comment (your son's exempary behaviour) to me that's a totaly unecessary remark to make. I also felt in his remarks that he appeared to make me and my son feel like we were on some kind of hate mission towards this teacher, perhaps he would feel differently if this was happening to his child. Also his comment that my son was(not entirely unbiased source of info) didn't go down very well with me either it was rather a negative and pompous thing to say and hurtful; we all know that our children may misinterpret things sometimes he need not have put it quit that way.