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minerva

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Posts posted by minerva

  2. Posted · Report reply

    My eldest also cannot stand football, he says that its a variety of reasons, he hates large groups & chaos, which football tends to look like when you dont understand/arent interested in the game. He also finds it a lot harder than the others due to the Dyspraxia & can seem really clumsy leaving him with very low self esteem in that area.

     

    He is extremely good at some that are more solitary though, Ice Skating, Roller Skating, the 100m sprint and cycling are his preferred sports.

  4. Posted · Edited by minerva · Report reply

    Dunno if I've misunderstood this post or whether other people have (?)

    Minerva - how could you not have 'had the chance?' If your child is over 18 it is either something you do or something you don't do. Chance has got nothing to do with it...

     

     

    He isnt over 18, therefore I havent had the chance so it has everything to do with it.

     

    If and when it does happen it will be the last resort.

     

    It would never be out of anger, it would be out of desperation & in defence of my other child.

     

    My post was merely to point out that nobody would judge her for feeling that way/posting about her feelings as they have probably felt the same at some point.

     

    Obviously I was wrong and someone would and consequently did.

     

    If your post was merely meant to point out that she should post more.....its not necessarily the best way of encouraging her!

     

    If her post was indeed purely in anger then your response to it could and probably would only make her feel worse!

  5. Posted · Report reply

    Hello,

    I'm not gonna win any friends writing this

     

     

    I think this of all the places is somewhere you will easily get away with saying something like that, I would have probably kicked mine out a thousand times by now if I had a chance! lol

  6. Posted · Report reply

    When my son was mugged he was summoned as a witness too, he was terrified but went ahead with turning up etc. Luckily he didnt have to go through with it in the end as the boys admitted to it once they knew he was in the building and willing to testify.

     

    It sounds to me as though they are trying to scare him/you/the prosecution to withdraw his statement, or at least try and cast doubt onto it. I would simply ignore them and plough on.

  11. Posted · Report reply

    Oh dear... :oops:

     

    I just spoke to Aw about the EWO coming Monday and that he would need to come down and talk to her, and he went upstairs and slammed the door.

     

    :tearful::wallbash::crying:

     

     

    I wouldnt say that he has to talk to her, I would get something he likes in on the day (donuts or whatever), carry on as if it isnt about him. Have a nice cup of tea and a chat with this interesting lady & hope he does what kids usually do when you dont want them around LOL

  12. Posted · Report reply

    How old is he? With regard to him not wanting to do anything educational....would he automatically know thats what he was doing? Is there a way of pretending its your work and that you are finding it hard to do so need him to help you out? Like you do all the writing, have your name on the top but get him to help answer questions because hes so much cleverer than you?

     

    Erm, Its a very very small possibility....but I was wondering, I mean the likelyhood of getting the right tutor is pretty small anyway but lets just say you did get "the right" one. Perhaps with knowledge (and experience!) of ASD's, there may be a way she can get to know him before even trying to introduce anything thats even remotely considered school work, then progressing to some fun things that could be sneakily done. Not to mention that she would then be able to report back the problems she is having with him therefore leading to an assessment which helps you out whether he actually gets any work done or not?

     

    I dont know since my son never had a problem with doing anything work wise besides writing, it was school he had concerns with.

     

    When trying to get him to practise writing it has been very hard though. I know that asking him to write a shopping list and other interesting suggestions put to me only caused an outburst.

  13. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Smiley,

     

    I have no idea if there are any underlying problems as we dont seem to get anyone to listen long enough. As soon as we start talking about whats happeneing they already decide they know whats wrong with him and end up making things worse.

     

    To be honest I think I know of at least a few of the things bothering him at the moment, they have a new headmaster at school, he has new pupils that are more disruptive with him this term, he is terrified of failing his GSCE's, he's been told by a RAF careers officer that he will never be a pilot in the RAF because he has an ASD so doesnt see the point in being here at all if he cant do what he wants, he doesnt see the point in working hard at school if he cant get what he wants, we have been in emergency accomodation for 7 months of this year since we were made homeless from our last property due to racial harrassment & threats, he's scared that he wont be able to turn things around & Social Services are going to take him from me......

     

    But you try listing these things to "professional" & they dont listen, I personally think the above even without the ordinary teenage feelings etc are plenty to make anyone depressed & angry, they still think its something i'm doing!

     

    We dont have respite care but i am honestly afraid to ask for it, just in case they add that to their reasons for taking him away.

     

    We had a CHAD meeting yesterday and i plainly explained the last incident and that I anticipated it before he got home from school because of a phone call I had received. I told her the 3 ways it could have been dealt with (in my opinion) and the 3 outcomes that we would have seen, the end result was the same for each and every way. I then asked her directly what she thought I could do that may prevent it.....

     

    she said "I really dont know"

     

    I'm actually really glad LOL

     

     

  15. Posted · Report reply

    Ive not been able to visit the school yet, but have visited some special and MLD schools which are inappropriate curriculum wise.

     

     

    Hi Stressed, I just wanted to let you know that my son's school also seemed to have limited curriculum but when you actually get in and talk to them you realise that although they do keep most to a minimum there is availability of anything you can access at a regular school for those more advanced.

     

    My son is studying everything he would be in a mainstream school at the level he should be despite missing more than 4 years of education and the first 3 years being messed up. If he was to knuckle down & start moving further ahead they would simply change what they teach him.

     

    If he went to a mainstream school although he would be more than capable of keeping up with the work, he wouldnt do it....purely because the set up of the school would prevent him from sitting still much less anything else!

     

    I'm not saying for one minute that you child needs to be in a special school, just thought that you may like to know about the curriculum side of things before making a decision.

  16. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Manda, My son was out of school for four years while I was seeking a proper assessment of his needs. In the mean time nobody did anything to get him to return to school. We saw an EWO once I think but that was it.

     

    The one we saw was sympathetic and backed me all the way with my decision to remove him until appropriate education was in place. I'm sure that if you are honest with the EWO the new one will be just as nice as your old one.

     

    The law states the child has to receive an "appropriate" education. It does NOT say they have to attend school. Is there any way that your Dr could apply to the Hospital education service for a home tutor in the time it takes for something else to be sorted out? Perhaps if you were to suggest this to the EWO they will know you are wanting something in place, just not for your child to be unhappy!

     

    Otherwise are you able to teach him yourself? As long as you are follwoing the curriculum they also have to leave you alone.

     

    It can get very tiresome though and it is sometimes nice to know someone else is going to be coming for a few hours to ease the pressure off of you.

     

    I hope this is helpful >:D<<'>

     

     

  17. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Minerva,

    We tried scouts too - disaster! And Kung fu (think he'd love this if he got into it but didn't last the first session...). Will google Helen O'Grady drama and see what comes up.

     

     

    I understand that lol

     

    Cameron was thrown out of Kick boxing on his first class the rest he managed about 2 or 3 classes before being "asked to leave" as it were lol

     

    I think Drama was definately good for him! Good luck with finding something he enjoys :-)

  18. Posted · Report reply

    Wishingwell he can and will challenge any and everybody when "on one"

     

    It takes 7 men at school to restrain him when he loses it there. So I dont think thats going to work.

     

    I also dont think having his Dad here would change anything except the fact that it would be a shared responsibility therefore my youngest wouldnt have to sacrifice things when it got tough. Also it would give me someone to hide behind when things did blow up, it certainly wouldnt prevent it.

  19. Posted · Report reply

    Brotherly Feelings: Me, My Emotions, and My Brother with Asperger's Syndrome or The Incredible 5-point Scale: Assisting Children with ASDs in Understanding Social Interactions and Controlling Their Emotional Responses?

     

    I was thinking about getting the first one for my youngest son aged 8, and possibly the second one to help me & Cameron work on his emotions a bit but i'm not sure how "grown up" that book will be, since he is a very "grown up" 15 year old will it be too "beneath him"?

  20. Posted · Edited by minerva · Report reply

    I agree, I didnt like the version of holding back the years....but in fairness I never really liked that song anyway lol

     

    I think he could be huge! He just likes to be creative and does it in a way which he likes rather than in a way to please others. The XFactor will soon have that under control i'm sure! :-)

  21. Posted · Report reply

    I do think they would save themselves a fortune if they did just provide us with a bodyguard! It makes more sense! lol

     

    Just had the most tiring few days! What with his outburst on Sunday and last night then this morning we had a meeting with the CHAD team which went on till almost 2pm. Now its almost time to go start collecting them again!

     

    I need a holiday lol

  22. Posted · Report reply

    Where/how did you find a private diagnosis centre?

     

    In our case we had a Solicitor doing our fighting for us & she arranged 2 seperate Psychiatrist reports, 2 Ed Psych reports (because the LEA wouldnt accept just one over the NHS Dr's), a SALT report and Occupational therapy which is how we got our diagnosis.

     

    The solicitor we had was Watkins Solicitors, Bristol 0117 9390350 (Still know her number off by heart lol)

     

    Her name was Beverly Watkins, although she is in Bristol I was thinking perhaps she would know of others in or near your area that aslo specialise in SEN? It was nice to have someone fighting with us thats for sure!

  23. Posted · Report reply

    As an optician it may interest you to know that most optical professionals have little or no training in ASD or the potential problems that can be experienced.

     

     

    There are simple questions to ask the optometrist to detemine whether they would be sympathic and empathetic to ASD e.g.

     

     

    Ian I dont think for one minute that knowledge in something is what holds people back from being sympathetic people or not. What holds people back is their 'Will' to learn. If they think they know everything but know nothing they are of far less use than someone that knows nothing but is prepared to listen & learn.

     

    I dont think asking questions like that will help anyone.

  25. Posted · Report reply

    Mumble one thing you dont have to worry about is passing an eye test if you cant see. There will be questions you simply couldnt answer if you cant see correctly.

     

    I know that in a Dr's they are aware of certain phobias and are able to deal with any they encounter (i.e needlephobia) as necessary but i'm not sure if the same accounts for Optitians? I'm sure there is someone there that will be in a position to put you at ease.

     

    Perhaps telephoning the Optitians to explain the situation and ask for a call back from the actual person doing your eye test may be of some use? If they are aware before you get there they may be able to ease things.

     

    Firstly maybe by limiting your waiting time, perhaps they have another room you can wait in that is away from others?

     

    Its just a guess as i'm not sure what exactly it is that makes you personally nervous.

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