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minerva

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Posts posted by minerva

  1. Posted · Report reply

    There is a SALT at my sons school available but he refuses to work with her anyway.

     

    I think you probably have a better chance of getting him to work than most SALT's purely because you know him better than anyone & will know when he is in the right mood to play & when he isnt.

     

    I dont know anything about the sort of things they get you to do but is there anyway you can base them around an interest of him to keep him engaged longer than usual?

     

    Saying that, a few minutes here and there may do as much good if not more!

  2. Posted · Report reply

    We've had the worst day ever today! He didnt want to go to school this morning but I sent him anyway as he had all of last week off because he "didnt feel up to it" and I didnt want him to make a habit of it.

     

    We were supposed to be going to the circus at 5pm this evening but he decided to kick off at school and say he didnt want to come home to "pay me back" for making him go to school this morning.

     

    When he was brought home he decided to kick off big time, smashed up the house, tried to cut himself but I took the scissors from him so he threatened me instead, then tried to run away & by then the police came.

     

    We've been to see the GP now & she doesnt think he needs any meds, she thinks he needs to learn to speak to someone (and she needed how many years at uni for that? lol)

     

    Anyway, he has calmed down but its only a matter of time before he does it again!

     

    Anyone got any spare patience? Or a very big husband I can borrow?

  3. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Dillyn,

     

    I dont really know what to say other than dont give up!!

     

    It sounds to me as though you could be in your teenage years? That happens to be the hardest time with regard to relationships regardless of whether you have Asperger's or not, so it must seem pretty impossible. But it doesnt last forever.

     

    Keep your chin up & concentrate on the fact that it may well be others downfalls that have caused the falling out & NOT necessarily you being Asperger's.

  5. Posted · Report reply

    I know it sounds sad but I am really pleased with myself so I wanted to share lol

     

    I seem to come here now & again but when feeling really really low I tend to hide from everything and everyone. I do pass by & take a look around but wont post. I even pointed out the last time that I did it, that I know I do it! And have no idea why! Because I definately feel less "alone" when surrounded by everyone here that understands even if only in part what I am going through.

     

    Anyway, point being!! I came on the 21st Sept, and have been on the forums and posted everyday since, and dont plan on going anywhere!! No matter how bad it gets! So unfortunately you will be seeing a lot of me/hearing a lot of complaining!! But I am hoping that in the long run it will help me cope with everything outside of here a lot better!

     

    So heres to 9 days without running & hiding!! :thumbs:

     

    Oh by the way, permission granted to drag me back in if it seems like I "disappear" :whistle:

  8. Posted · Report reply

    Thanks Kathryn,

     

    It is really scary, I think I prefer it when he's trying to kill me!! Which is saying something thats for sure!

     

    The school seem to be very set on making something happen with SS so hopefully things will start to look up in the area of support. 1st thing they did is tell SS that although we do agree family therapy may be helpful in our relationship, our relationship deteriorated because of his behaviour and not the other way around. Therefore Cameron needs CAHMS input in his own right aswell in order for this to be combatted.

     

    SS then rang me obviously not knowing me & the school had already discussed what they were going to tell her to do, and pretended it was all her idea LOL

     

    Its really beyond me how these people get their jobs!!!!

  10. Posted · Report reply

    Wow Ocean!! You had lots of very helpful things in there! I dont know where to start!

     

    Just so you know Social Services are involved at present because he has been violent to me on so many occasions I asked them for assistance. They are being their usual useless selves though and taking over rather than helping out, and blaming the parent for everything that happens.

     

    My concern was that they may find out through another channel and therefore think i'm hiding it therefore to blame, its ok though....I talked to his school and they spoke to Social Services and I have no idea what they said to them but a phone call followed to me from SS saying "well done" for the way I managed the incident at the weekend and that shes proud of me LOL

     

    I think she may have had a good talking to! lol

     

    He has also hurt himself on many occasions, this isnt a one off. He just hasnt cut as deep before, just surface scratches or banging his head against the wall. What worried me the most is that he decided it was the best way to cope with his anger.

     

     

    Jb i'll try and talk to him about the elastic band theory. It sounds good if he's up for trying it!!

     

     

    Thanks for all your help :-)

  11. Posted · Report reply

    Have to say, Home schooling seems like the best option (academically) for our son. But what about his (lack of) social skills? When schools exclude children with SEN - and ASD particularly - it's not just from school but their peer group! I'd be grateful for any top tips you may have. Thanks!

     

     

    Sickandtired my son was out of school for 4 1/2 years while certain messes were dealt with. In my experience professionals blaming the parent is the easiest and cheapest option to solve. Then if their input doesnt work they can merely say that you cant have followed it as they wanted you to and therefore relieve themselves of any blame!!

     

    As for socialising, he found it very difficult in any big groups. We tried dance, cubs, scouts, kung fu, swimming, kick bosing and possibly a few more besides! He didnt settle into an out of school club until he started Drama class....it was expensive....but he actually managed to stay there for 3 years!! The longest he'd managed to stay anywhere!! And it did his confidence the world of good!

     

    The school was called Helen O'Grady Drama Academy, Is there anything similar in your area?

     

    He is now in Air Cadets as his passion is aircraft but he does miss drama.

     

     

     

     

  15. Posted · Report reply

    Above all else would be Scott James, purely because it takes an awful lot more for him to even get into the building let alone actually sing on the stage!!

     

    http://xfactor.itv.com/2009/episodes/video/item_200244.htm

     

    Secondly I liked Danyl Johnson, bless him!!!

     

     

    There are a lot of really good ones this year! But I have no idea what those twins are doing still there, they have awful personalities and as Simon said "they would step on their own grandmother to get what they want"

  17. Posted · Report reply

    He didn't want to go to school, so he didn't want to go to sleep and he didn't want to wake up in the morning. When he felt better and really did want to sleep he was very anxious about it and probably was trying too hard.

     

     

    I had the same problem with mine! He didnt sleep through the night until he was 6 or 7 years old & even then it wasnt until really late & I would often wake up to him in my bed "arghhhhhhh"

     

    I agree with you about CAMHS, sometimes people think they know everything, sometimes they may be right, sometimes they havent got a clue! You are definately the best person to know your child!

     

    I'm really proud of you for acheiving this, anything acheived between you as a family is definately going to help make things easier as he gets older!

     

    Please dont be downhearted when you dont see many replies. Some people dont get on very often or for very long and so may not have had time to respond yet. I guess automatic reaction when you dont have time is to focus on the "crisis" posts, there are plenty of them! lol

     

    It doesnt mean it goes unnoticed by any means!!

     

     

    Well done to you all >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

  20. Posted · Report reply

    Ok so i've written messages about Cameron's running away, about his violence, his bad attitude and the harrassment from Social Services....Now its time for Self Harm!

     

    Cameron confessed to feeling very angry from Friday 19th Septemeber, its unusual for him to accept he is feeling angry so we welcomed this new acknowledgment of feelings! We managed to get through over a week with few arguements, none of which ended up violent no matter how bad they got!

     

    I was really beginning to look up.....THEN!!! We had the biggest arguement yesterday where he tried to run away (by jumping out of an upstairs window) so naturally I had to stop him, then he went for me as I was stopping him and therefore "making it worse" and eventually when he realised I wasnt going to let him go in the state he was in he grabbed a pair of scissors and ripped through his arm.

     

    He has hurt himself before but not as badly, usually its a scratch here and there whereas this bled which is new to us.

     

    Strangely as soon as it started bleeding he started to cry and said sorry about 8 times one ofter the other. I patched up his arm and it was all over.

     

    What concerns me the most is that he said afterwards "Now I know what to do to calm myself down all the time"

     

    Now, I have called the school and they are going to get the counsellor to call me today, I had already spoken to her last week since he wouldnt attend school due worrying that his mood would get out of control. I dont really know what else I should do?

     

    I am worried about telling social services because they wont be interested in the work we did for 9 days avoiding confrontation, all they will see is "another explosion". On the other hand, if I dont tell them then they could start trouble for that!

     

    Am I supposed to take him to the GP and ask for some sort of medication? (He has never been on any)

     

    Anyone got any advice?

     

    Also I was wondering if there was any ASD forums for children/ teenagers so that he can perhaps learn to talk about these feelings if nowhere else at least online with others that understand. Sometimes talking online is a lot easier. The last thing I would want is for him to join this one and see seemingly negative comments written about himself. That wouldnt encourage him to want to talk :tearful:

  21. Posted · Report reply

    Hi

    Sorry to burden everyone with my woes but am in desperate need of letting off steam.

     

    Go for it! It makes me feel more normal! If that was ever possible!! Teenagers are satans spawn I think, especially 15 year old ones! lol >:D<<'>

  23. Posted · Edited by minerva · Report reply

    J's Mum, My son is 15 going on 40! He had a reading age of 16 year when he was 8, he is slower on some things, but would unfortunately not be impressed if I tried to tell him any kind of story. I only wish I knew about them when he was younger!! We may not be where we are now!

     

    Enid I thought you meant the trackers that you cant see, as in they just pinpoint your mobile phones location via satellites etc. If I could get his phone to accept it without him knowing then he wouldnt know it was on there to take it off. But I have a nasty feeling that they will periodically text you randon rubbish so i'd not get away with it.

     

    Maybe its worth a try, if it goes wrong I havent lost anything (well except for him again!! :rolleyes: )

  25. Posted · Report reply

    I dont like your chances much. Birds are an RSPB thing rather than RSPCA and when I have found them in the past havent had much help with the more common or "pest" type ones. There is an automated message in fact to say to just leave it and let nature take its course!

     

    I think they are more concerned about the rare type birds, which is a shame!

     

    The best thing you can do while you wait is give it access to sugar water & leave it in as peaceful a place as possible XX

     

    If you dont get any luck then I would take it to your local PDSA or equivalent & let them decide its fate :(

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