marmitemummy

Yes I think this is true, he just holds it in or takes himself out of the situation and then just lets himself be "himself" at home. Which I hope is a good thing because if not how else would he cope with how he feels. Not great for us but with a diagnosis then we can just let him be himself

Thank you for that, my son is also Sam!! I spoke a few weeks ago to a friend of my husbands whose son was diagnosed with Asperges when he was 4, he is now 6. She said that he was aggressive at home but that the school had seen no problems with him at all. but he was assessed at school and that it was evident in the way he acted that he had asperges. He had many of the traits that I see in Sam, the specialist told her that a person may make sure that they are not in a situation where the asperges may cause a problem, so for example if they don't want to upset loved ones they with control themselves by avoiding a problem or if they don't want to be embarrassed in front of school friends then they will do the same. At the weekend we took Sam to Nandos with his two friends. We ordered chips for him as usual but when it came they had put the chips on the side of a plate of chicken. I took the chips off and onto another plate -none of the chips where touching the chicken or had any hint of anything on them. I thought it would be ok but he just went so pale, he just couldn't cope, he started laying down and saying that his throat hurt. I felt so sorry for him because he didn't want his friends to know. But if I had done this at home he would have just kicked off. I think he just found himself in a situation that he could only control in the best way he could, he faked illness. I guess its hard to decide which situation is better, our home life is a bit like walking on egg shells, I know straight away what will set Sam off so I don't even go there, but his 13 year old sister is not so forgiving!! So life is quite explosive and hard work especially meal times (I have just given in and let him have what he is willing to eat) Infact, no situation is better or worse, it's just what it is - hope you get the help you need and thanks again for the advice x

Hi, I last joined the forum in July 2009. We have felt for a long time that our 7 year old son wasn't quite the same as other kids we knew. At around one he stopped eating most kinds of foods and would only wear certain clothes. When he started nursery he fixed on certain toys and would carry them around in a bag everywhere he went. He was a very loving little boy to me (mum) but had no time for his dad infact wouldn't even let him touch him. As he got a little older most of these problems has eased a little apart from the eating which is still a major problem for him. As i said he is now 7 , nearly 8 and think that I have been putting off dealing with this,so have made an appointment at the doctors on Wednesday. But I suppose iam worried that I am making something out of nothing. Can I just list a few thing that worry us and see if you think I am right to pursue it? He likes to wear the same clothes, even wanting to put them on wet if they have been washed. He hates loud noises, eg,my husband took him to a football match and he refuses point blank to ever go again because of the noise. He has a very keen sense of smell. He still only eats the foods he was willing to when he was a toddler eg bread, chips, marmite, some cereals and apples He immediately becomes aggressive if anything at home is not how he expected it to be (except with me, when he will cry as a reaction) When we try to deal with any of these things it just seems like He just gets so upset and can't let it go and we are just back where we started But that being said School have never picked up on anything, he has no learning difficulties and makes friends fine. He is never aggressive with anyone outside the home. Any comments would be very much appreciated. Thank you xx

Many thanks for your replies, we have just tried over the last few days to put some of the suggestions that we have read on the forum into practise and have found them useful. I intend to speak to our GP about him and will keep you inform. Hope all goes well for you and thanks again.

Hi and thanks for your reply, I have just been reading your post and your son does sound alot like mine when he was that age, I found I was forever saying " don't cry just talk to me" I have to say that some things have calmed down in public as he has got older because he has learnt to control them himself . But he still gets very angry and frustrated at the smallest things at home, I have learned to not even go down certain routes as I know how he will react (and thats just with silly little things) but 12 year old sisters are not quite so forgiving!!!! Hope all goes well

Hi, Thanks very much for that, I guess I have just put things off, just thinking I was being silly. The idea to write thing down is a good one as there are lots of times I think things are 'odd'. It started when he was just over one, up until then he was fine, he would eat anything and seemed very content. School has never picked up on anything but I think as he has got older he knows what he 'should' be like and can cover for himself (if that makes sense), as he stopped with the handbag thing at nursery (not home) because the other kids commented. I think he just avoids any situations which might make him stand out as different but that worries me because he goes to Junior school in September and I know it will be harder for him. Like you said his behaviour is worse at home but thats because he can just be himself. How old is your son Thanks again

Hi, I have just joined the forum as I would like some advice please on my 7 year old son, I just have a feeling something isn't quite right . I know from reading your posts that some of you are dealing with really difficult situations so thank you in advance. We first noticed something when he was just over one, he started only eating a very limited range of food and when old enough to choose would only wear the same clothes and would scream if faced with a new item of clothing. He would 'fix on' to certain items and would need to have them with him all the time and would carry them round in a bag. Whe he started nursery (he was 3 and 1/2) he didn't speak very well and was hard to understand, he would have certain toys that he had to have and was really distressed if someone was playing with them - he would collect them all in a dressing up handbag (!)and carry them with him. When I say distressed it wasn't just that he cried it was just I could tell he couldn't cope if he didn't have them. He has a very strong sense of smell and sound, for example my husband took him to a football match but he was upset by the noise and refuses point blank to go again. He won't have food touching on the plate, it has to be cut up in the same way. He has to go on the same swing in the park even if he has to wait for ages and there are others free. When he plays with toys he has to have them all lined up and keeps moving them just a fraction to make sure they are in the right place. When we are out he can't keep still and is always touching stuff. He will still only eat the same food as when he was one and likes to wear the same clothes and I can only describe it as him being unable to cope with the thought of anything new no matter how awkward it makes things for him. But saying this, he is doing fine at school (teachers commented on his handbag!!! behaviour at nursery but nothing since) . He has no problem showing affection and you can converse with him just like any other 7 year old. He is very imaginative and misses nothing. The reason for me asking for advice is that we have always put these thing down to it just being 'him' , my friends describe him as quirky!!! But his ways do have quite an effect on our family life and I think if we could accept that he just can't help it - which I am convinced he can't - that we would all be so much happier. I original looked for help down the 'food disorder' route but to be honest I think that is just a symptom of something else. Any coments would be much appreciated Sarah xx