justine1
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Posts posted by justine1
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Ok so maybe not such a big deal to some but.....Sam has just turned nine and had his first ever party. Its sad to say that aloud but between moving four times in three years,Sam not having friend,being out of school 6 months and the fact his birthday is in the middle of summer...it has just never been achievable.
It was a small party..originally invited 6 boys(all from his unit) but ended up with just two (but I said one could bring his brother along as Sam has been to their home often.) He loves his swimming so had it at the local pool. It was fantastic. All the boys were well behaved and Sam can now say he has had a party.
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I agree with you special talent,we should always look at the positives and not the negatives. However I agree with others this may backfire and all help may be withdrawn as one may be seen as "able" when its not always the case.
I have given an example of this on here before....my brother who has had three strokes and has communication and mobility difficulties,has worked most of the time despite his difficulties on top of that he has also done walk/run for charities. Now to us who know him he is disabled but if someone from ATOS(example) were to assess him they may disagree with that based on what he can do rather than what he can't especially if the word disabled was no longer used.
He has even said he fears walking his dog or taking his kids to the park,and he even started a support group which he does'nt want to attend...because although these are positives it can be seen as he is perfectly able and should not be claiming any sorts of benefits or other help.
Just my thoughts though.
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Hi
I got five kids and have experienced similar. Sam(9) got his diagnoses age 6. I already had my concerns about his younger brother Dan long before Sam's dx. Sam's dx was pushed cause of his problems in mainstream ,on the otherhand Dan had more problems at home than school. Though I to thought it was copied behaviour there were things I read post Sams dx that Dan displayed and Sam didnt. To cut a long story short he to got a dx almost a year after Sam.
With Eli,who is 4, I can tell when he is copying behaviour. I have concerns about him to,the health visitor said due to his brothers dx he will be more closely monitored.At the moment I want to see how he gets on at school.
As for the food thing or getting own way...I treat all my kids the same.I cannot let Sam and Dan get their own way cause of their Asd it wont happen in the real world. I used to just give in as it was easier than listening to a tantrum but now I say if you wont eat a broken biscuit you get no biscuit. There are foods they just wont eat which is fine but generally we all eat the same meals. My eldest is 11 and does say I take Sam or Dans side due to their Asd but honestly all children say that,I know I did as I was the only girl so always moaned about how I was treated differently.
My opinion is firstly wait to see if your other child does get a dx before raising any other concerns. Also dont read too much into behaviours I know after Sams dx it sometimes felt like everyone was autistic as I read so much into simple behaviours. I personally think when a child has been through reception that is when it will be clearer as you can get a detailed picture from the teachers.
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Hi all
Have not been on for a little while. Anyway Sam will be in year 5 in September and will have to start looking at secondary schools,I heard two weeks ago when Sam was at a party,of how one mum (her son is at Sam's ASD unit but in year 5 already) is really struggling to find an appropriate school.Needless to say I am dreading it! Especially as it has only been 14 months since he started where he is and is doing well.
He recently hit a "blip" no idea what it was exactly could be anything,but he was not sleeping well for 2 weeks(totally unlike him) he would also begin to throw more tantrams and shout and swear. He had an "I dont care" attitude whenever a sanction was imposed,though I stuck with it. School have helped by introducing another technique meaning he gets rewarded at school (with house points) when he is goos at home,its been used all this week with good results.
Sorry to ramble...I am curious as to how/what reasons people decided to go for residential? I am/have considered this alot,Sam is getting tall (although skinny) and worry about future meltdowns. He can go months without any signficant meltdown but when they come its not very nice,as he has three younger siblings it is a worry.
At the same time having been working at an LD resi school (with 90% of pupils having ASD,albeit on the opposite end to Sam) I fear what will happen to him. There are children far more aggressive than Sam,also my opinion is the family can play a very positive roll in someone with ASD's overall well being,which he would miss out on. I feel he gets more out of being at home but then worry about what he will be like in the future. Just interested in peoples experience's in particular with children dx'd with aspergers or HFA.
Thanks.
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As someone who works in a care setting and has to sons with ASD, I find this very alarming. They are breaching your privacy by doing that and you need to speak to someone. If you have.a key worker ask to have a meeting and explain your concern,get them to put it in your care plan. If you feel your request has been ignored then you need to make a formal complaint. Prehaps you could come to an arrangment where they will knock every 3hours just to check you are alright but they should leave you once they know you are okay.
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Hi glad to hear you have a diagnosis of adhd as well as hfa. If your son is on school action plus you can apply for a statutory assessment on your own,of course it helps to have the school and senco backing you up but its not essential provding you can show where your son needs help. You will need to identify which areas he struggles in not just academic but socially and emotionally. You will then need to prove this by his iep,school reports,any meeting minutes from when you have spoken to senco or his teacher or any times he has missed school due to anxiety or prehaps when school have asked for you to collect him early for whatever reason. There is alot of info in the education tab on how to go about getting statutory assessment.
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I agree with chris. I am a student nurse and and as such I believe in science but I also have my own beliefs. Actually we have had lectures on spirituality and how we can encourage this as statisically people heal quicker if they have a faith. Many elderly people or terminally ill will look for spiritual comfort in the final stages of life.
The one thing I will never do is ram religion down someones throat which I have witnessed some nurses doing. As for darwins theory vs bible I have my own theory abt all that.
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I agree 100% chris I was merely commenting on the good points of having a religion,as others are focusing on the negatives. Everyone has faults religious or not!
I live in the real world and know that good and bad lies in anyone regardless of colour,religion or gender. Obviously in religion it is expected to be charitable but I know its not always for the right reasons.
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I do think the thread is going off topic but anyway. I just wanted to say to those who think all religion is bad I disagree those extremist groups are just that groups of people and they mis-interpret text to their own hidden agenda. There are many great things about religion including helping others in need,yes you don't have to belong to a religion to do this but I don't know of any atheists who give to charity,and I know many atheists most of whom are well off.
I also find many people who commit crime are not religious,though some find religion and reform their life. Don't get me wrong not all religious people are "saints" there are those who hide behind their religion whilst comiting adultry,gamble,abuse their bodies with various substances etc. but as I said in my other comment I do think it gives a sense of purpose and in this crazy world we live in it does give us a reason to take time to reflect and "chill" in a sense.
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Yes to an extent. I stopped going to church after I separated from my husband ,it was very challenging taking 3 young kids to church on my own. When I did start going the priest was very rude as I had asked about baptising my youngest and first holy communion for my older 2 he told me I was not commited having missed church for a year,really annoyed me.
Anyway we continued going for awhile but spent at least 80% of the time outside as Sam and Dan could not keep still and disruptive. All my boys are religious but they cant cope in church.
I have not been to church now for 2years and as we have moved I am hoping to start going again. Personally I feel religion is very important for children it gives stability and a sense of belonging to a community. However I dont think religion is solely about attending a place of worship itd more about values,morals and faith. I would'nt abandon my religion because of the fact I have 2 boys with ASD, I have been through alot in my life but think its circumstances and bad choices not God.
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My brother is severly disabled after having 3 strokes ages 23(he is 33 now) He has many,many difficulties. He is now completing paper work for his benefits and has not slept or eaten properly for 2 weeks as he is so worried about losing everything! He has worked for the greater part of the 10 years since he had his first stroke but he suffers alot. What gets to him is the people who lie to get such benefits will always get these benefits because they are "trained" to lie so will always get away with it. Yet when people are honest it is not seen as that severe compared to those who have lied....crazy!
I watched daybreak just about two weeks ago where a former military man whose leg and arm got blown off whilst in Iraq/afghanistan,was talking about the cuts. He said he ran in the marathon 2years ago,with prostitic leg,to raise money for others in his situation he said the government could stop his benefits saying "well if you can run a marathon you should work." not realising that he suffered since and has not been able to do anything like that.
My brother feels he cannot even do anything,like walk his dog or play with his kids in the park, as he fears this will look like he is capable of more...not true!! It is really unfair. Luckily Sam's DLA award is valid until he is 16,I have not renewed it since he first claimed in 2010. However I really believe he may not get it when he does reach 16,things are changing so much and won't surprise me if one day there will no longer be a benefits system.
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Thanks.
He is at an ASD unit,has been for just over a year(got his dx in 2009 and statement 2010.) He is integrated for a few lessons but not all....with maths he is integrated but goes to a smaller class whereas with Science(the reason he claims to hate tuesdays) he is in a larger class. The school and myself have spoken to him about why he hates tuesdays so much on a few occassions,and they have come up with a few solutions,which help on some occassions but not always.
He has very good attendance,having missed just 2 days(due to colds) since september. However it is always a battle to get him to school on tuesdays and when he gets home he is usually in a bad mood.
I have put everything in writing and so have the school. I requested he be seen by an ed psych last October at his annual review because he was last seen by an ed psych in Feb 2010 when going through statementing and he was at mainstream,I believe not all the tests were done,and in fact have this in writing as he was unco-operative. I believe now he is in a better environment these tests can now be carried out and the tests that were done will be more accurate this time. Also they may have a better understanding as to why he hates tuesdays. I know it sounds like it is not a big deal,as he is happy at school and getting the help he needs....I hate complaining but even though it may be small its a problem none the less.
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Well just a follow-on from my post about Sam not liking Tuesdays. I have still been having problems with Sam on Tuesdays and so I spoke to the school once again who then spoke to him,he told them he does not understand it at all! Quite a shock when he is a level above where he is supposed to be....anyway they told him he needs to ask for help and thats why he has someone with him. So hoping this will now help along with the ear defenders etc that they are already using.
I have requested that he be seen by an ed psych,I reminded them that I had already requested this back in October..which they apologised for not following through. Apparently as it not an "emergency" referral it may take time OR he may not be seen at all???? Is this possible?
Thanks in advance.
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Wow that is alot I been on here since august(I think) 2009 and have 201 views!!
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I agree that anything you do not spend is classed as savings,however,when I was on benefits, in 2008, I was told you only have to declare savings over £3000. Therefore you can have any amount up to £3000 in your account and benefits will not be affected. Anyway as you say you have specifically saved for your move so you could always explain this to them and if you already have accomadation you can show the lease agreement or you could print rental property list from estate agency to show average property price where you will be living,so again as long as you can explain why you have the savings you will not lose anything.
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Its all about finding the best option for your child.THere are no guarantees in life, he could do well in mainstream with the right support or a different mainstream(as they really do differ) or even a unit attached to mainstream. OR he could suffer greatly at mainstream and flourish in special school where he will be able to learn more life/social skills.
I was faced with this dilemma last year, Sam had already been attending an ASD unit but we had to move. I viewed numerous schools,EBD school, 2 ASD units, LD school, mainstream(which he had been to 4 in total) and other special needs school(which had a good number of ASD kids on roll.) I then had to decide between an ASD unit attatched to a very good school (mostly excellent on ofsted) and a special school which Sam loved when we visited. I could see that Sam would be very happy at the special school and short term,at that point in time would have been perfect for him however the headteacher pointed out that the children in year 6 at his school were at the same academic level as Sam,who was in year 3 at the time. So in other words he would have more than likely remained at the same level for three more school years. I am sure he would have made progress in other areas but not academically, so I opted for the unit. I was so concerned as I really thought he would never fully integrate but a year on and he is integrating well. I am very fortunate in that the secondary school around the corner also has an ASD unit and he is likely to remain with the same friends. They do not push him to integrate and he has the same TA in both the unit and mainstream. He gets SALT twice a week,goes swimming with the unit once a week and the teachers in mainstream are also taught the same techniques used in the unit. He has 100% consistency. He has many friends and has had no incidents in the past year. Compared to four exclusions and attending school part time at his previous mainstream.
My advice is do what is good long term not short term,the short term hiccups can be resolved but long term if you make the wrong choice you may regret it.
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I am glad you have some answers and the report they give will help when he starts school as it will show all the delays. The other positive is you are not being discharged they will continue to observe and assess in the future.
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For yesterday 
Hope you got some cake after all
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Sounds like he had a good day which is good. I agree with him not being "at his worst" both my boys were quite happy and chatty when they went for their assessments,obviously dx is not based on a child being "naughty" so it does make sense.
I hope you get all the answers you need tomorrow.
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Thats a shame. It is so hard because it would be unfair to push him to the point that he feels ill, at the same time he is missing out on his trip that he possibly would have enjoyed.
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Hi
First of all many parents miss appts for similar reasons to you and they don't lose their children so it is unlikely that they will not allow the adoption to go through solely for this reason. Though I do understand why they may have concerns if it has been that you have consistently failed to show up. It is important that when he does have an appt you phone up at the earliest possible time to cancel when you cannot make it and immediatley re-schedule. I would go though all the missed appts now and ring up the various places to re-schedule now,for ASAP appt. Then it looks like you making an effort. Prehaps you could also ring NAS(national autistic society) and find out if they run any parent/early intervention type workshops nearby that you can attend,possibly one that you get a certificate at the end again as proof you are trying.
Read up on various strategies etc to help kids with autism and start implementing these. For example visual planner. Also if he is at pre school or due to start you should be in talks with senco about what his needs are and have it all in writing not just for the adoption but also for later in school life when he may need a statement.
Good luck.
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Hi
Its not exactly the same but...Sam had a trip in Feb where he was going to sleep there for two nights. Prior to this he has only ever slept over at my brother's house which has been just twice in the whole 8 years of his life. He was very excited leading up to the trip then deided a two days before that he did not want to go,nothing would change his mind. I think part of the reason was because I was due to give birth and he did not want to miss out on welcoming his new sister. I told him that even if she was born I would not come home straight away,so by the time she did come he would be back. He was also worried about time like he goes to bed at 8pm and was worried they would go too early or too late. Luckily his school gave an iteneray,the ASD children got one with pictures for each activity,this really helped as he could see what he was doing and got excited. He was also told who he would share the bunk bed with and as it was his best friend he was more relaxed.
He came back and still moaned about the food and the bedtime(which was later than usual) but all in all had a great time.His sister ended up being born on the same day he left and we came home immediatley. He was so happy to come home to the surprise. My only advice is not to put to much pressure on him but just remind him of what he will miss out on,also say how proud you are that he is going on his trip. If he has siblings maybe they can also emphasise on how much fun he will have.
lactose free that doesn't taste odd
in Diet and Vitamins
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Only one of my boys enjoys milk,thats my 4 year old(NT). He will have about 500mls a day and also has two drinking yoghurts a day. Sam(asd) started drinking tea from age two and thats when he stopped having milk(on its own) and Dan (asd) has never really been interested...even with cereal he will rather have it dry. But no real negative effect like hives etc.