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mygifts1306

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Posts posted by mygifts1306

  3. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Mumble

    One thing you can do is make your own recording on your mobile, in this way you can listen at home and make points. Remember that the recording can not be used in court. This way you dont have to bring any1. It is daunting to meet someone for the first time, but remember they are there to help and listen.

     

    take care now and hope it goes well.

     

  5. Posted · Report reply

     

    Hi Happymum.I would suggest you go ahead with the assessment and get to the bottom of it. In your favour you sound like you have done a lot of reading and are already using the write strategies for dealing with him. tony attwood is always a good starting point, but i bet you probably read it, but thought i will mention it. I would go and see the school as well, is it a catholic school as they can be very strict which sometimes children with as can rebel against. Its a hard one. My son started at 4 and a half, and I did not have any concerns at nursery, the trouble started at p1. It was a very daunting experience for us all, actually made mesee people for who they really are. diagnosis is a good start. get your gp to refer him to speech and language as well, remember you can self refer.Speak to your health visitor about getting in touch with the educational psych. Just use all the help you can get it. I dont know what is the best age for a child with As to start school, and i really dont want to influence you too much, all children are different, you and hubby will have to look at the situation and ask close caring relative what they think about him. Sorry thats all i can say.I hope you reach a conclusion.

     

    kind regards

  6. Posted · Edited by mygifts1306 · Report reply

    Good evening, Thanks a lot for all your responses. Baddad you are absolutely spot on it is harder for single dad than it is for single mums. One of my resolutions for this year is to stop watching eastenders, I watched a double bill of eastenders before christmas, i got so mad watching it, and thought I could write 4 essays about that, shouting at the television i was, not a good sight, It was a scene with Max and his daughter Abbi, She is about 12 and chose to stay with her dad as tanya had left and went with the other two children. It was lovely to see the bond between father and daughter, this particularly appealed to me, my dad was not a part of our lives, my mum left him for being a promiscous fool when we were small! Thats all i know, well the point i am getting to, you seen them sitting in the living room and he went and phoned somebody, next thing the door bell is ringing and he kisses her forehead, in that way only a loving father would, and Tanya is there and gets her, he is then scripted to say " Its not right Abbi, me living with you", who the @@@ says that it is not right for a wee girl to stay with her father, is this the way the world is turning, so I got really mad. I dont know your circumstances BADDAD but you come accross like a down to earth guy who knows what he is talking about, and you must love Ben to absolute bits, and I really appreciate your posts. I pointed the replies i got for this thread to hubby and he was nodding his head big style and smilling when he read yours, so lots of brownie point for you from hubby, he reckons you would make a visit to the pub a worthwhile one. Well enough of that.

     

     

    Thanks a lot guys, i hope you dont feel that i am singling out baddad, because i am not, its just a part of the thread about being a single dad really struck a cord with me.

    Thank you Jsmum, thank you Justine1, thank you chris54,thank you Mumble, thank you kathryn, thanks a lot bid......

     

    goodnight guys....

  8. Posted · Report reply

    Thank you ladies and gentleman for all your answers. I am feeling kind of guilty that perhaps I spent just a wee tad too much last christmas. I have decided i will spend just around 40 quid for a his birthday, his birthday is coming up soon. He had a party lastyear which was astronomical, he wants a party and I said no as he really does not not have friends, We decided we will take him to the new hamley's toy shop in the city and he can choose what he wants for 40 pounds, and we will give him the 40 pounds. I really like the idea of him having a bank account he can access that way he can appreciate the cost of things. I dont think my kids are brats, they always say thank you when they are given things, unlike some kids if you give them things they cry and say they dont like it. Parenting is very hard is it not? especially if you are trying to get it right. But it is also very straightforward as you can say NO. I also agree with one of the thread authors who said its ok to expose them to technology, there are benefit to it. And also I agree with bad dad playing with the children is very good, our kids just want our attention and our love, and "Two fingers to the world", excuse my french, lol , :lol: Why do we "bastardise" french language so much? I also hope Justine1 does not think I was targetting her in this post, i really would not like to come accross like this. I have a friend who lives in a deprived area, and they dont have a lot of debt, but she use to get really angry at the fact that children who were on benefits had flat screen televisions and the wii, and she could not afford it even though her husband was on a salary of 40 grand a year. I also mentioned class as its a very british thing, being posh, or pretending to be posh and all the rest of it. I really enjoyed reading all your posts, and is it not great that we are speaking on the internet and yet we will probably never meet. Good day ladies and gentlemen

     

    Mygifts

     

  9. Posted · Report reply

    I was merely talking about the world of more, and in particular talking about gadgets as a main topic. We play puzzles, and simple games like kerplunk, connect 4. I think on the whole people buy a lot of things and they dont use them, not just for children. People see films at the cinema and buy it when it comes out on dvd, but never watch it. Getting the biggest house, and getting the big four by four. I was not just merely talking about our kids and what we do for them, just the whole world of more. Personally I dont derive joy from playing the xbox but my husband actually enjoys it and will play call of duty with his pals online for about 4 hours on a friday night. I only play a game called scene it and trivial pursuit because i find them challenging to the mind. I am keen on the Wii and wish i could afford it because I would be moving about, i had a short of bowling at a friends and thought it was good fun. I love reading and I dont really watch that much television, My children love reading as well. Thanks for posting, this is just an off topic subject, does not relate to ASD.

     

    Regards

    mygifts

  10. Posted · Report reply

    Dear all

     

    2010, another year. I have observed over the last 10 years we are succumbing too much to to the world of more? I will give a few examples, around the 20th of Dec if you were to go to a supermarket you will be amazed by the amount of food in our trolleys, when the shops are shut for one day. Why do we do this? A recent research proposes that British children are very unhappy children despite thier parents doing so well, they continue to purport that we buy gifts for our children to get then to love them. All children want is love, attention, and nourishment, all the other things are fiddle stick. why do we do it? I do the same. I told myself i will not get my son a Ds machine, i kind of felt under pressure to buy it when he was 5 because most children had them when they were 4. but i limit how much he gets it, just one hour a day. My husband has got an xbox and he plays it a great deal and really enjoys it, and Ds has got a few games and has one hour a day, obviously if he uses that hour for the ds then he looses it, he plans his time really well around that. My only reason for succumbing to this is gaming is the way things are going and we cant deny this. We all need to remember our values and still adapt to the changes in the world around them. I told my son about the iternet, what it was, since he is literal i just said the internet is like a big libray, and he knows about google, I let him on it to play the cbeebees games for a little while. I hope people reading this thread dont think i am bragging about my gargets, just talking a bout the world of more. IT is something that i think we ought to remember time and again. Another research observed that one in 6 adults in uk will suffer mental illness, I find that unreal.The university of edinburgh did a reseach and they reckon there is close link between mental illnesses and domestic abuse.

     

    This is the state of the world now 8 years olds with thier laptops, digital cameras, flatscreen tv. This is regardless of whether you are really rich or on benefit. So i am not talking class at all.

     

    just a thought provoking topic . looking forward to your thoughts on the subject.

  12. Posted · Report reply

     

     

    When you ask him "why dont you sit up straight on the sofa?" what is his answer.

     

    Alexis

     

    When I ask him he does not say, he just tries to sit them he is up again or lying down, So i really dont know, perhaps its worth asking his gp, he does not seem to understand the idea of personal space at all, even in his class he has a bigger table to give him more elbow space. Its a shame. Thank you for your reply.

  14. Posted · Report reply

    Sorry to hear about ds bluefish. Its a shame to see wee ones upset, and you just want to take away their pain. Obviously I dont know to what extent is your ds affected, my little boy soon 7 has aspergers, when he was 5 i took him for taekwando because i have often heard parents of children on the spectrum giving it praise, so i thought i wil try. My son saw a boy from his class whom he was totally fixated on and he became very wild, he started pulling other peoples belt, i was so mortified, and the class master told me he could not come back "he said, I cant have that", later he said you can bring him next week. I just thought forget it. I tried him again when he was six and he saw a girl from his class and he said he wanted to be in her group even though she was in a higher belt, when i tried to explain to him he just pulled away from me. I nervously sat and watched as a lady was teaching them some moves, but there was a guy with a big booming voice, instead of following the lady in this little group he followed the guy. I decided that it was not for him as it was noisy. He went for gymnastic for a while and has now stopped as some girls were calling him names. He just goes for swimming and really enjoys it. I feel its is good to keep taking them to different things as they need to find their niche. There is quite a lot of things out there and it can be really overwhelming. I am quite happy with him just doing the swimming because he is a school for 5 days and mingles with other children for 30 hours a week, i think for some1 with aspergers its quite enough.I try to compensate for the fact that he does not have freinds by playing with him exclusively, rolling about on the floor, in the good weather we walk a lot and he talks to me, he sometimes goes on his bike while i jog. I want his childhood to be happy, as you have probably gathered i am a worrier, I find it difficult to parent him, i cant use my own insticts and always rely on what tony attwood says.

     

    Kind regards and give ds a big cuddle

     

     

     

  15. Posted · Report reply

    Hi my online buddies! thank you very much for your responses. I like the idea of resolutions, I have made the one for driving for over 3 years now, i failed 7 tests during that time, i have had to go back and do the theory test again, my lack of driving licence really depresses me particularly when it is raining. I love walking and walk every where all the time. So in the new year I would like to pass my driving test and I am taking lessons again, I failed my tests on hesitancy! I feel helpless, some1 suggested the automaticl car, so i will need to look into that option. My oldest son goes to a school which is a while away, He has been a source of fall outs when it came to people giving us lifts, because of his aggressive tendencies. I would like to take myself less seriously as well. I would like to enjoy my life. I am due to go for surgery, and according to the bmi chart, which by the way was divised in the 50s when women were very slim, I am obese class one, so i was told i have to bring my weight down to 66kg, I have already lost 8 kg and and at 70kg, the appointment is next week, I dont know how i will shift these 4 kg before i see the consultant. I even do a food diary and write everything i have eaten, and today i think i had 1290 cal, which is really not good. I find it hard to stay motivated. I like the idea of new year resolutions, i am forgiving myself and giving myself another fresh leaf to start on, and giving myself another chance.

     

    thanks guys, its good to see my resolutions are not too far from others.

     

    kind regards and I am offline now as my kids are messing instead of going to bed.

     

    This post has been edited by mygifts1306: Today, 08:39 PM

     

     

     

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  16. Posted · Edited by mygifts1306 · Report reply

    Dear all forum users

     

    Please share your new years resolutions. And we will visit them in april to see how we are doing, well since I am the first one i will just have to go for it.

     

    My new year resolutions are

    1. To eat less food

    2. To do more exercise

    3. To make time for me (just one hour a day)

    4. To stop taking myself too seriously

    5. To acknowledge that i will make mistakes

    6. To be more reasonable and understanding of my husband's need

    7. To read at least 2 novels a month not 1 novel every 3 months

    8. To be helful and kind to others

    9. To do more mummsy things with my children, not just reading for them and baking

    10. To cook more

     

     

    Thats me started, so please lets hear it.

     

     

    Kind regards

  18. Posted · Report reply

    Thank you very much JSMUM and MANDAPANDA. I really appreciate you taking the time. My son does not like blankets at all. We are waiting to hear about his dyspraxia, but its not fair for kids to have a lot wrong with them is it. I will look into the option of getting a bean bag, does any1 know where i can get one reasonably.

     

    Thank you very much for your replies

     

     

  19. Posted · Report reply

    My son who is soon going to be 7 has got aspergers, he lies about in the living room, he will not sit on the sofa, or just sit on his bottom. Is this a particular thing with aspergers or is there anything else i can do to encourage him to not do this. when people are visiting he takes up all the living room space, and i am fed up trying to explain to people about him because i dont think they believe me, they just think i am not strict, any suggestions will be really appreciated.

     

    Does you child hum or whistle all the time? HE has being dx with aspergers, but i think perhaps they could be a little bit of adhd and dyspraxia

  22. Posted · Report reply

    First of all sorry to hear you are not feeling so great. I think sometimes we can be a little bit hard of ourselves and expecting ourselves to go go go! I would say there is not problem with wanting to have your own time when you can do what you like, Christmas time can be a very demanding time and as you say when you get back you feel you have to say happy new year, and when some1 asks you how your christmas was, you feel you have to ask them how thiers was. I went back to work today and it was not very nice, yes on the one hand its is nice if people smile and you and ask you if you have had a good break, and yet its another if they are saying it because they feel they have to. I found i was saying happy new year to people and they could not care less, they did not look at me or smile, and i just thought what is the point. I find it is safe to ask people if they have had a good christmas, they normally say yes what about you, then you can quickly say " i had a good time thank you" and that is the end of the matter. I have been accused of being full on and needy as I often talk to people intently because i find it difficult to deduce that some1 is asking but they could not give two monkey if you drowned in the sea. So now i cope by speaking very fast and saying very well thank you and how about you. Some people like to hug at new year, if people are good friends they can do that. I feel as i am rumbling here. Have you found the cold to really get to you, one thing that i personally find relaxing is meditating, you can get techniques online, I have also discovered belly dancing, its fun and you get to sweat and drink loads of water, the good thing with belly dancin is any1 can do it, regardless of age, or size. You can just stand in front of your laptop and do some move. It has been proved that if you do exercises your brain releases some feel good hormones. Or if there was a book in you read last year go back and read it again usually that helps. I hope you feel better soon. A good long bath is usually a fine way of relaxing as well. I hope you find this helpful.

     

    kind regards

  23. Posted · Edited by mygifts1306 · Report reply

    As we approached christmas I was quite apprehensive and had started a thread on it, Ds who is nearly 7 had started asking questions about Santa being real. It all started quite innocently at school, there was fundraising for the children that are underprivilaged. Ds insisted that he should get £1 a day for 10 days because these children have only got air in their tummies. Well when it came to christmas he asked me what happens to those children? does santa come to them, I had to think quick and said " yes Santa does come to them". I toyed with the idea of letting on about the magic. Infact he told me that one his classmates told him that santa is not real its the mums and dad who get the gifts.aaarhhh! why are kids so mean? WEll I told him santa is real. I looked up at all the suggestions from everybody else and I decided to write a social story for him about christmas. I wrote it with him, it was very crude and i hoped it will make his christmas meanful and less chaotic. It must be very hard for children with as , as its halloween then christmas in the shops, and kids hear people talk about christmas shopping. one thing we are doing to ensure that it remains mysterious for ds is, we dont shop with him, and we dont speak of it at all. If i see something, i tell hubby then he gets it when they are in bed. And most other things were purchased online and they came when he was at school. We found this to be very useful in ensuring that he thinks its mysterious. we also used the giving of gifts to children, and the general merry ness, for instance, our gp are really lovely so we often give them something, we give a present to his teacher as well. If anyone is interested in my social story feel free to pm me. Christmas day worked very well as it was predictable, he knew what to expect at each stage. However i will say he did not seem to be as excited about the presents as I expected, it will be interesting to hear what parents of 6 years old observations were, we could compare NT and As for instance. My son did not smile at all or laugh out loud. The children woke up at 7, we waited on them waking up, youngest had to be woken up, we watched them opened thier presents, then we went to church at 9am, they were allowed to take one toy each. this was all the social story. so totally predictable. We then went to his nana and papas, its the only family we have, we had our breakfast there, then they opened their gifts, I told her to get few presents for them not too much. They got 4 parcels each. they played with the toys for a while, then we came to our house and opened other presents from a few close friends. Then they played with their toys, and dad made christmas dinner, we watched the graffallo which was great.

     

    I wont bore you with the details. It was great really and he had a bed times story as he does for 365 nights a year, He is currently on enid blytons secret seven no12.

     

    thank you for reading, and thank you for your responses.

     

    kind regards

  24. Posted · Report reply

    Hi, its the big freeze! and we cant go trampoling in the back garden. My son nearly 7 ( as) enjoyes playing with playdoh, its funny it was his brothers's christmas gift from his nana, and they just stay for hours playing with it, its called playdoh octopus and it is keeping them amused.

     

    When its so cold like this its so easy to just let them watch telly or sit on the xbox. Also the Wii winter sports games are good, ds nearly 7 really likes sword fightin, i know its sound violent but all it is is vegetables gets thrown at him and he cuts them. He also likes the bowling but gets cross if he does not get a strike.

     

     

     

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