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About JonnyN

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    Norfolk Broads

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    Saffron Walden
  1. Thank you both for the good advice. I think you both touched on two very important key factors and I can openly say that I am struggling inside to deal with my break up. I have experienced this situation before and I feel better equipped to deal with the loss. I think my thought proccess is of a negative nature about everything at the moment, so I have decided that maybe i'm just not ready to face interacting with people at the moment so I have decided to focus my attention on doing the things that make me feel good, maybe I'll meet like minded people along the way. It is unfortunate that after my diagnosis of AS, It was never really talked about until my ex partner found out. It is only recently that I have started reading and studying more about this fascinating condition. I just worry that I am an alien to society because I dont do or act the same as the norm. Jonathan
  2. I have recently moved to a new area away from my ex partner, who I still feel very strongly for. We didn't end on the best of terms, but i've figured that i'm on a new route now. I am 25 and I am an Aspie, diagnosed when I was 15. I know there are some subjects on here about 'aspies' in the work related environment. I find my job a get out clause from all the overwhelming things that I am faced with day to day. I work as a dental technician and I have recently opened my own dental laboratory. At such a young age, my work is being noticed countrywide particularly my eye for detail and my dexterous ability. As you have read, it seems I have made a pretty good go of things and for all of it I am very proud of myself, however..... I feel like I have changed, I dont really know how to put it! I've never been the best at social interaction, trying to read body language is like trying to read hebrew or alien dialect. I've been oblivious to so many things and learnt the hard way, that I have no trust or faith in people at all. The sad thing is, I know i'm a very decent good willing person, but overcoming this seems like a mighty struggle. I know we as Aspies see the world differently, i'm learning this every day through experiences. My frustration lies in the fact that I just cant let the real me out because i'm worried that I am not going to be accepted, my worry also lies in the fact that if I do let the real me out, whats to say I dont get let down again. I want to get close to people and I dont want to feel angry inside ( please note that my anger is inside, i'm to shy to be angry in peoples faces ) Anyones advice on ways to get through this would be greatly appreciated. I hope everyone is well Jonathan
  3. Hi, speaking from experience of Aspergers it is of utmost importance that the father of your child adapts and supports your recently diagnosed son. With the right support and correct parenting, you must be able to encourage your child, as with any neurotypical, to achieve the best that he can. An aspie brain is not very much different than the normal brain, I would say its just unbalanced, where we dont do well in certain things, we do twice as well in others. Acceptence has got to be the primary goal for the father of your child, I would recommend that the father of your child was encouraged at the very least to get a better understanding of Aspergers before he made any judgement. Theres plenty on the net about it. I'm still trying to understand myself, everyday I search different sites and look for books about certain things. At the moment im studying Aspie relationships for example as im looking for a relationship. The good out of this is that Aspergers has been recognised early for your son and there is so much support out there for your son. Your son needs to understand in the future aswell and the more support he has, the better he will understand. Make no mistake, Aspergers is not wholy such a bad thing, we just interpret things differently and think a little bit differently. With the right support from both you and the father of your child, you may just find that what you were worried about might turn out to be false. Some of the worlds greatest inventors and business people have been thought to have been an Aspie.
  4. Hello fellow aspies, I have recently moved to Essex just outside of Cambridge for work purposes, basically its the start of a whole new road on a life long journey. I expect to be around these areas for a large proportion of the rest of my life, however I find myself starting all again and it is literally a whole new start, I dont know anybody and so on. Anyway thats a little about my curcumstances, I would like to post on here to anybody wishing to maybe meet up as I would like to meet fellow Aspies as i'm yet to really connect with anyone who shares this condition that I have ( if condition is the right word?? ) What i would like to propose is some sort of get together in a public location, funded by myself sometime around the first quarter of next year. Please let me know if you would be interested. Also anybody in the Essex area wishing to chat on here or share experiences would be very welcoming. Thank you Jonathan
  5. Hi all, I first posted a couple of months back basically making my introduction. I thought that maybe I could elaborate on my situation, with hope that I can help fellow Aspies and those in care of! I joined here in a situation where things weren't working out with my partner, basically to get a better understanding of Aspergers. I was diagnosed when I was fifteen, after a long depression spell which ended up in me trying to take my life. Im nearly approaching twenty five now and i would like to share my experience with you all, with aim to show you that us Aspies can excel far above the neurotypical person. I was never understood at school, infact I was related to the BFG ( Big Friendly Giant ). I was easily led by fellow pupils, I was also a vulnerable target to the little man syndrome. I could be easily picked on because of my size, because I have been six foot four in height since I was thirteen years old. I have allways had an athletic figure, my strength has allways been high and I was part of every team at school ( Rugby, Basketball, Cricket, Football, Athletics, Swimming ). By the time I was fifteen I was being scouted to train with the England rugby squad Junior selection and I was District 75 meter hurdle champion three consecutive years prior to this. I must admit I never understood rugby, I can remember my PE teacher giving me a ball when I was eleven, saying in his geordie accent " You're a big lad, lets see what you can do with this" We started playing and I just froze! One year later, I tried to play after having a better understanding of the game ( still didn't know the rules!! ) I was basically running through people and putting the ball down behind these irregular football posts?? It worked for me, I was quick and strong and with that I started playing alot as an outside school activity. Laughing note: My final year at middle school and its sports day, im running the two hundred metre sprint and all the family are there to watch me. I start and i'm allready metres ahead of second place. I get to the end feeling overwhelmed with people cheering and my family there and thinking how proud i am, and I trip just before the finish line. The whole school laughed and I wouldn't get up. My mum dragged me accross the finish line. At the time It devestated me, thankfully now I can look back and laugh. All that being said I would like to explain a little more about being vulnerable during my life at school. Now that i'm 25 I can look back and say, kids will be kids. I think we all realise that at some point, some earlier than others. I was a regular target for people to gain some sort of status amongst thier peer group. I was bullied up to a point, then basic instinct kicks in, so within reason, other people picking on me knew that they had limits. The only problem was, when I was pushed to far and I had to defend myself for my own sake, the aftermath would have such a devastating effect on my personality i just wouldn't know what to do with myself. I would cry and feel down, I wouldn't talk, I would distance myself from everybody and the majority of the time I would blame myself. Questions like: Maybe I am fat and ugly and i deserve this? Maybe my family are weird and I dont fit in with anyone? Maybe I am the laughing stock of the school? Maybe I am stupid? Maybe I am different, Maybe I dont deserve a girl like that? and so on. I can remember countless times, being attracted to other girls at school, that basically wouldn't say hello to me or pretend to like me just to wind me up. So I was approaching the time to take my GCSE's and I had gone along with the bad crowd, just to try and fit in and I started experimenting with smoking and drinking and other things. I started to get respect and I fealt that little bit better about myself. This had a serious turn for the worst, without any close ones to me realising that I was depressed because I was putting on a brave face, all these things affected my thinking patterns and I made a mistake that cost me my GCSEs and me being expelled from school. This disappointed my parents beyond belief as any parent could imagine. I fealt like such a let down, especially with the academic background I have with my mum & dad. Three months later after serious self harm and attempting to hang myself, I was admitted to hospital and underwent counselling on a regular basis. here i was diagnosed with Aspergers. I was only told that I couldn't deal with emotional situations as well as others and never got a full understanding of Aspergers. No one really talked to me about it, so to me it was just like a bad infection. I'll go into it more later but mum & dad bascially moved us to Scotland in hope that it would just go away. Now mum & dad, well we've allways been a disfunctional family, I have my sister, who I love dearly as I do with my parents but we've allways done our own things. Mum did the horse riding, Dad fixed his cars and sis was just sis. She's 6 years younger than me, all grown up now and absolutely beautiful. I was allways close to mum, I was and am still a mummys boy. My dad however is a different story, not in a bad way. My dad was allways the man of the house, both parents are still very old fashioned. Dad makes the money, mum looks after us, you get the picture? Its a happy home. I allways looked up to my Dad, difficulties started to happen when my sister was born because suddenly I wasn't getting the attention and Dad was highly focused on my sister as was mum. Note that they did not know I was an Aspie until my mid teens. To this day I still say that my Dad gives the best advice I have ever heard from anyone, I just wasn't that close to him throughout my childhood. I was bought up very different from my sister and Aspergers obviously didn't help me. I shall continue with this later on, explaining things that have happened since then and where I have come to now
  6. Hi all, my name is Jonathan and I am an Aspie. I was diagnosed when I was 15, I am now 24. I have only started to accept that I am different, and I have only started to try and understand this unique condition we have, as of recent. I happen to be in a relationship with someone I love deeply, however the 'Aspie' personality that comes with me is starting to stand in the way. I really look forward to finding out more about Aspergers and I'm looking forward to sharing experiences with you all on here Jonathan
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