sleepflower

my sons father is the same, i discussed it all in length with my SENCO teacher at Ls school, who says it is very very common, what she does is link it all up, and act as the one making all the suggestions which has eased the situation a lot. every single professional we have ever seen about L has said AS for the last year but only in october would his dad agree to come to an appointment with us (we live apart). he told the dr he didnt want labels either, however he is gradually coming round, i lent him the tony attwood book! it may ne worth involving your SENCO teacher at yoru sons school if possible, mine is very pro active and has helped with this problem an awful lot.

very interesting topic my son was born at 35 weeks (induced) after i had a 8 week hospital stay on bedrest, he had a rapid ventouse delivery and spent time in special care as he was early and had had poor apgars (2 and 5). he had laryngomalacia diagnosed after failing his 6 week check which he grew out of at 18 months, though he had stridor breathing and sounded like he was having a permanent asthma attack. he failed his checks as the additional efforts to breath meant he couldnt lie on his front and lift his head, he went to physio for two years and attended the child development centre, initially they said he was hypotonic then they just discharged him. he then failed his hearing check and went to the ear nose and throat hospital about a million times, he had flutuating glue ear. a lot of his problems were put down to this and i think they didnt investigate much as they just thought it was due to this. he didnt have the MMR, he had both the measles and rubella jabs and caught mumps when he was 2. he did have all other vaccinations including his tb jab at three weeks. i did not do anything out of the ordinary in my pregnancy, which was the result of ovulation induction therapy. my 8 weeks bed rest was due to early onset pre eclampsia. also he had a two vessel cord when he was born, as opposed to three. milestones, crawling was around 9 months, walking at 13 months, speaking was delayed cause of his breathing issues, and for a long time he missed off the beginning or end letter of words. he was potty trained a little late at 3 and a half. i dont think any relatives have AS/ASD, his paternal grandfather is a little unusual but he had a car accident and has a metal plate in his head. as a person i am a more then averagely anxious and worry type person and had anorexia nervosa for 10 years. (now in remission). we split up when he was 2 and i spoke to a child psych at the time who said this was a good time to do so, and i have to say he only has memories of us being apart. he has a good relationship with his father and his wife, and with me and my partner. he primarily lives with me and my OH, but sees his dad every week. I dont know at all what has caused his AS.

when my son got hsi diagnosis, i was told that the school had originally thought he had AS but then discounted it as he is able to show affection etc. i think they judge it as a whole and literally every other person we saw since has said AS - one even thought autism but he doesnt really meet the criteria L's friendships are more like 'playing near' other kids then 'playing with'. he counted a boy as his friend but upon questioning this boy makes L do things to make a set of other boys laugh at him, and L thought this made him a 'friend'. he does not understnad how people can do painful things by accident - liek once he was in goal and another kid kicked the ball at the goal and it hit him in the face, he really felt this other kid had deliberately hurt him and wanted to ask him why, it took a long time to persuade him that this wasnt the case, it was an accident. according to his teachers he doesnt ever drop subjects that interest him and will draw the conversation back to them regardless of other childrens interest. this previously hadnt been so much of a problem but as he is getting older (he is 8 now) other children can see he is different in some way, last year he got relentlessly bullied at school, requiring lots of me going in and insisting that something was done about it. I also worry for his future. We are lucky this year that there is a kid in his class who has a strong sense of social justice and doesnt like seeing other kids bulied so has made a point to stick up for L, they are not exactly friends but this child has influence over the other children. has your son a teaching assistant in class allocated to help him? L has and often I ask her about his friendships and things, as she seems to know more than his teacher or the SENCO teacher. L also has art therapy in school once a week which seems to help a little, is that available where you are? L was diagnosed using the australia scale, you can download it from this page http://www.aspergerfoundation.org.uk/info_adults.htm hope this helps, good luck.

Hello my 8 year old has a recent diagnosis of AS, though i knew before diagnosis, if that makes sense. I am concerned about his sleeping. He goes to bed at half seven every night with the same routine, yet rarely is he asleep before 9 or 10 (even if all stimulation is removed from the vicinity). He always wakes up before me in the morning, usually he comes into the front room at about 5 am, if he wakes me by accident i will go and tell him he has to go back to bed, but rarely will he do that for more than about 20 minutes. he looks permanently exhausted with bags under his eyes (we are both fairly pale anyway). I thought about the weighted blankets, but he shoves everything off when he is in bed anyway and constantly complains about being hot (i have to fight to get him to wear trousers and not shorts nearly all winter). routine at bed time is dinner, short time of playing, then bath time then either i read to him or he reads in bed then sleep. it has been for years but it is only the past 6 months or so it has been so hard to get him to go to sleep. invariably when i go to bed i find him asleep in my bed (not having asked me) and have to move him back to his own bed. he will never admit to being tired, but you can tell by looking at him and his tiredness is having an adverse effect on his behaviour also, he seems on a much shorter fuse then usual. I have increased his physical activity in the day with football club, kung fu and also a lot of skateboarding but to no avail if anyone has any tips i would be really grateful. thanks M

L goes to mainstream school, we have had a lot of problems with bullying

thank you for your tips. L's father has agreed to read the book on aspergers I bought so hopefully that will move him forward. I got a letter from speech therapy today about him having some sessions on how to talk to other children so things are moving forwards. thanks again, M

Hello In October my son who is about to turn 8 was diagnosed with Aspergers. He is awaiting having an assessment in school to see what his specific needs will be. I have been doing some reading around it and looking for as much information as I can. The main problem is that his father (we are not together) is completely scathing of the diagnosis (despite being told by several professionals that it is the case). He seems to have taken parts (he clung on to the fact that lax joints cause his bad handwriting and says that L is just clumsy and has bad coordination). He also said the bullying L underwent last year was 'just playground banter' when it was actually fairly bad bulllying. I am just worried that his lack of acceptance will lead to L not getting the help he needs - his father has already says he doesnt want L getting help if it will affect his educational choices (not sure what that means) and talked about taking L out of the assessment. L is the centre of my world and has been since he was conceived (he was IVF). I split with his father when he was 2, but we have deliberately tried to always make the important decisions together, and be amicable for L's sake. Ever since L was born we have had lots of appointments, physio, ent, speech therapy, occupational therapy, EP, art therapy, child development (he was discharged age 3, however that was the same clinic baby P went to with a broken back and they didnt realise) which I have taken him to. I love L to pieces and just want him to get the help he needs, and to be happy. Currently we have not told L of his diagnosis. If anyone has any ideas how to get his father to accept this, as I really do not know what to do... thank you....M