suze79, I had a private dx. His first (NHS) psychiatrist said that he didn't have autism and dxd him with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I eventually got a second opinion from another NHS psych as well which confirmed ASD. It was expensive, but when I think about how long I could have been waiting for an NHS dx and the stress of not knowing, I think it was worth it. DS is also 10 and is due to transfer to secondary and it's played a crucial role in the whole statementing process. If you're home-eding that might not be such an issue for you, but it was also important in order to know what kind of provision would be suitable for DS.
One interesting thing that I realised was that for a lot of sources of support, I didn't actually have to produce a dx report! For things like the NAS help programmes, things allowing self-referral like NAS services and some outreach/carer services, they didn't ask for more information. And I read more about strategies and techniques to use before his dx and found they were useful - you don't need a piece of paper telling you that he has ASD for you to start teaching him as an ASD child. That might well be another way of showing that ASD would be an appropriate dx - that your child responds to strategies that have proven successful with ASD children, like social stories etc.
Two organisations that I found useful were BIBIC and I CAN. They both carry out assessments and there are funds to help for low-income families.
