Pinky

hi, this is true about intelligence, worth baring in mind all 3 options too. hope i didnt word it wrongly, i think the school were just keeping an open mind?? well, i think, both my boys can't help being so clever, as they got me as their mum, they must take after me, he he!! lol! we still got this blinkin bug! got beta in between, back again now! little son all beta, but ES laid out here with me sick again. phoned gp, and gona get a sample to her today. he seems more relaxed today, so i dont think we'll have the same as the other day screaming. i worked out after i think he must hav had a headache. i think he finds it hard to pinpoint where pain is and to even think aboit it whilst he is in any pain, its only after he can explain. thinkin back over the years with his constipation and any pains then i think this is true. he seems to be very sensitive to pain. i feel so sorry for him here, he's so pale and poorly lookin. that rings bells too bout falling asleep in different places as he's got older, but only sometimes. thanks for the lovely things said bout me doing well, its nice to think that you handled a situation well and calmly, i agree, it is vey difficult to stay calm sometimes. its actually good to here someone else say this too. <'>

thats good news for you and yor son. lets hope the school wont say these things now that he has a dx, and that it will help school to understand his behaviuor and manage it well. xx

after my warm welcome i thought i'd let you know how the meeting at schoolwent last week. I was quite woried as its the first time we've really spoken so openly outside our family about our concerns. The class teacher and senco were involved. they were brilliant, very supportive and nderstanding. didn't question us at all (biggest worry, thinking people are goin to dismiss what we think or say its our fault?). very reassuring that ES's behaviour within school is not shouting and screaming, as it can be at home, they described him as 'not a usual 4/5 year old' which we are fine about and understand what they mean. he gets very anxious if things change and ask 'lots' of questions. they agreed it could be along lines of ASD or he could be very intelligent? they didnt like to say, they happy to have him assessed and understand us, we feel. he has been refferred to the ed psych for assesment mite be a long wait, but we'll wait and see now seems like a positive start so far. i've also told 2 of my closest friends our thoughts and they too hav been undestanding and supportive, not saying what i thoght they'd say 'dont be silly' or something like that? its quite a relief actally, to say how we feel. does anyone understand that feeling? he missed his first nativity as we've both has a sickness bug! i felt so sorry forhim. the teacher told us that he'd been learning everyones lines, and if she'd forgotten who was playing the angel or which narator etc, he was there to tell her as he knew! sounds jst like him, he dont miss a trick! he's still poorly now, got terrible headache i think, but keeping food down. we just had an awful hour!!!! he fell asleep on the sofa beside me, then woke up 45 mins lata sleep talking? then totally flipped out. he couldn't tell me what was wrong or why he wasso upset. screaming and shouting with pure rage. i remained totally calm, and tried to comfort him, with absolutely no joy whatsoever. then i tried just leaving him as he'd said, agin this went on for ages so i didnt like to just leave him. i was really worried so phoned hubby at work? dont know why, just reassurance really. then i sat him on the chair in the hall (which is in sight of the fron room, where we are) to calm down and said really clearly he was sitting there because he was screaming and shouting. i will get him in 4 mins when he is quiet and calm. he would calm down in the middle then demand to go on the computer. which i clearly but super calmly said no to as his beahviour was not good enough for this. (bearing in mind i knew he was poorly) he could go on it another day if he was good. i allowed him to go on one of his toys from his room, a thomas alphabet game which he loves, as a substitiute when he'd calmed down. all is totally calm again now. it was almost as though he was having a nght terror? initially, bt then wen he was saying bout the computer, i dont know where that came from. he has had these in the past. the neighbours must wonder what goes on in this house? phoned hubby after to let him know all was calm! he hasnt really been like this for a long time. hes like an angel now, chatting a bit saying he's gonna lie down in a second, bt he looks terrible. gonna snggle up in a mo and read stories. sorry 4 all the waffle feel so bewildered, as i never know if i handle these sitations correctly. at least i didnt get cross. xxx

it's so lovely having people to talk back to me with understanding and 'knowingness' thank u <'>

hi, nice t meet u, maybe we could support each other as i am starting this process with my eldest son too. how do things affect your son thru the night? i'm intersested coz my son is a terrible sleeper, he doesnt stop thinking about things, and i'm sure this is what wakes him up. xxx

hi we're back now from our weeked away. thank u all for your lovely warm welcomes! thats true about comparing our youngest son, not in a horrible way, but its impossible not to compare them and as they are getting older the differences are more obvious. thank u for all the suggestions i've read them all and taken them on board. we do so much preparing for our son as he just has to know whats happening, where, when, how long, who with ect, that preperation for any events occurring helps soo much with his behaviour. i am beginning to understad him more now. but it goes to show, if we let our guard down. he was well prepared for our weekend away, and so well behaved, but at the lat min, hubby and i decided that he was going to the car to pak and id take the boys on for breakfast, we forgot to forwarn ES that this was happening, so he had a huge tantrum in the entrance of the hotel with about 50 people around us. he looked like a spoilt brat, but i instantly knew what he was doing and where it came from. i still wanted the ground to open up, but i was calm and didnt get cross with him, i simple held his hand and guided him away from everyone, then in t he lift i explained what was happenning, he was calmer and we went found the table easily. his mood remained down, then he ended up hitting out at me later on as he was getting fussy about which tap to use! probably my fault as my patience was wearing thin at this point as he was taking forever. its a shame coz he'd actually told us just b4 this had all happened that he was sad to be leaving. i praised him for this and reassured him about going home and having had a lovely time, so he's beginning more and more to understand his own feelings. lots of situations like this we avoid now as we prepare for things. i never go into great detail or i mite leave certain things open for change, but this helps loads. this was the only tantrum all weekend which was great. re his assessment, we are having the school meeting on thurs, then i spose we'll see then where to go. its really interesting reading bout fussy eating. my es is pretty fussy, only really likes stodge, bread potatoes cheese meat, things with same texture all the way thru. have made progress with persistence with some foods, beans he will eat if i feed them to him, and certain things only really at home? usually has an order in which he eats things too. xxx

Hi everyone, i'm a mum of 2 boys age 2 and half and nearly 5. I hope its ok for me to join here as my son has not got a diagnosis. this is a bit of a sad plee! (lol) but i'm feelin a bit lonely re an area in my life at the moment. we have had small concerns re my eldest son for a long time (2/3 years). Iwe think he may have asd possibly a high functioning ashbergers???? only our ideas. (dont really know any terms properly) The reason i'm feeling lonely about this is because, I have some lovely friends but i am finding it hard to say anything as when we are out and about or with friends or at school, I don't think anyone would notice. I would hate for anyone to think I was imagining it or to be dismissed as we really feel there is something, as do my parents. We are fine with whtever, reallyt as we feel he is who he is, but maybe a diagnosis would help, myself, himself, family and school have an understanding of his behaviour. I could waffle on for hours about why we think this, but I would like to make contact with you before I start to scare u away with my waffling!! He does not sleep very well, so nore do I, I am very emotional smetimes, othert times I'm very strong (prob hormones and lack of sleep!) but I would love some support to help me thru this possibly up and down time. I have started the ball rolling by keeping a diary since easter this year which i was advised to do. I have spoken to the health visitor re my concerns last week, (which is the first time i have voiced my concerns to anyone otside the family)and I have arranged a meeting with school class teacher and senco for next week. When I briefly spoke with class teacher she was wonderfull, very open to listening and said that he was on the top of her list ofchildren re concerns. i really hope that theres someone who has been in similar position or has an idea of where i'm coming from. we are away for the weekend so pls dont be offended if i dont reply quickly x pinky xxx