hi there, im from wales and i have a 4 n half yr old son going through the statement process. we have been told "informly" and "off the record" that he has AS. the last year and half, aince he started nursery in may 2008 have been a livin nightmare. J's behaviour and social interaction is affected badly. when he was in nursery, i would be called nearly every day to pick him up early because he would scream, shout,kick or punch anyone that stopped him doing what ever he wanted to do. this included nursery children, nursery staff, even the head teacher!! the school called in a Educational psychologist, and he was imediately issued a IEP. this seemed to work for a short time, then, it would wear off and a new IEP would be written.
when J started reception in sept, things got a lot worse very quickly. J struggled, big time, to cope with it all, regularly having "meltdowns". within 6 weeks he had been formally excluded 3 times! finally, the school called the Primary Behavourial Team in and they assessed J and said he needed 1:1 so a LSA was given to him. for 1 and 15 mins a day. so, for 3 weeks, that was all the time J spent in school. the school could not cope without the LSA and im told i have to wait for a statement before they can get a full time 1. they have managed to secure his LSA now for 3 hrs per day. so J goes school at 9 am and i pick him up at noon. this doesnt look like it will increased before his statement is finalised, which wont be until the end of feb. what do i do? what can i do? i ask the school, i beg them to help, i have offered to be in school in the afternoon with my son if that what it takes. they say he needs to learn how to play, to socialise and be a member of his class. but how can he do this if he's there only in the morning??
today, when i picked J up at lunch, his LSA informed me that is wasnt a good day, he had been "quite violent" but didnt go into any more detail, just said that was alll i needed to know. i was very unhappy that i had to rely on a 4 yr old to explain what had happened in school. he told me that the teachers had asked him to take part in practising the christmas songs with the rest of his class. J refused, he hates loud noise, does not like music and says "it hurts my ears". he was then punished for not taking part!!!! the problem with J is that if you ignore him in any way, dont listen to his requests and reasons, he gets very angry very quickly. his anger often leeds to aggresion and he kicked the teacher today because she wouldnt listen.
these are classic behaviours of a AS child. but my son was made to sit outside the head teachers room for a 1 hr, in plain view of his classmates who then know he has been naughty and constantly talk to him about this. i am so angry. i wonder if i should take him out of school altogether, there are so many incidents like this, where his conditioin is not taken into consideration, even though it was the head teacher who told me "off the record" that it was either AS or some ASD. i know i cant fight the school too much, i have to be able to talk to them, but i cant ignore these things.
we are seeing a PD, who J had been refeered to when he was 18 months, because he seemed to b showing signs of OCD. the doctor wasnt overly concerned. at this point, Js diet became very rigid and restricted. we have seen the PD a few times, well, some doctosr that work for the PD at least, and every time a different 1. the last app we had in sept this yr was a disaster. the doctors 1st question to J (who is a only child) was to ask how he was now getting on with his sister... ???????? the doctor clearly had not read Js file, and had to spend 15 mins of a 20 min app reading it. but what can you do? where do you turn? J has also been seen by CAMHS, again, waiting for another app to come through, seems like i spend a lot of time waiting for apps to come through.
i dont know where to turn. i spend half my time in a daze, exhausted from the day to day stress of dealing with a AS child, and lack of sleep because i spend most of the night researching, finding out about this thing thats turned our lives upside down.
my boy is beautiful, kind, loving, clever, funny and all i want is the best for him. its been good to say all this, to people i know who understand where i am right now
