Paula
-
Content Count
1,515 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Posts posted by Paula
-
-
Thankyou
Hes not realy capable of dealing with stuff he does understand money.I telephoned the dla folks and they said hed have to deal with everything if he was in charge includeing security checks ect he wouldnt be able to cope not in reality.Ill stick to what were doing now and hope things turn out ok.Seams daft that at 16 they can take care of all there own finacial affaires ect and yet cant buy a pint down the pub or claim job seekers allowance youre either a adult or youre not .
-
I claim DLA middle allowance for my son have done for years i also get careres allowance.Anyway ive received a letter from the dla saying that has my son is approaching 16 he is entitled to have the money paide direct to him and manage his own affaires if i think hes capable of doing so.
Of course i dont think hes capable of dealing with the dla folks and other stuff and form filling...........but there saying if i say hes not then someone will come out and interview me...why...........
What im trying to find out is did this happen to anyone else ..................im worried theyll send someone out and because my son can chat and talk and knows about money theyll think im makeing it all up that hes incapable of dealing with stuff and allow him to some extent to over rule me.................
What did you do anyone been in a similar thing .
Thanks
-
I have mixed fealings about the holidays................its great because my son can sleep in and i dont have to be rushing him to get up mand ready for the school bus which comes at 7 45 every day which means hes less agiataed and angry but at the same time were skint and everything costs so much im hopeing the weather picks up because walking costs nothing.
-
I nearly had an heart attack.................youre a rotter im glad i wasnt drinking me tea.
-
Nice one i hope it all goes realy well for him.Thatll be my son this tiem next year.
-
And the uninformed think AS means no feelings....................
-
Thanks
Its working this morning
Itll a been them site down ect im not very up on these things it drove me mad.
-
You can have sudden dips in mood that are short lived and still be bi polar its called rapid cycling.i know coz im diagnosed with bi polar and this happens to me normally when im stressed im up and down like a sea saw.
-
Sky tv all working,sky telephone working but cant for the life of me load up sky home page on the internet or acess hotmail account.Everyhting else is ok on thye net and loads dead fast.is it them or is it me.Its doing me head in .
-
We do everything ourselves from knocking down internal walls to putting them up,blocking of doors the lot.........yes it takes some time and you get fed up but least it gets done and its a hell of a lot cheaper.We recently smashed through the downstaires making it one massive open plan area room and kitchen did all te decorating all the door blocking off the lot took us a month.
-
I went for an interview just before xmas.................and it was all going well realy chatty freindly atmospheare then they said what would you consider to be youre strong point.i said well im chatty and freindly...............then they asked ...and a weak point.............i said my bladder.............and proceaded to laugh............me mind had gone potty i guess and i said the first thing that came into me dumb head...............i didnt get the job.......guess i wasnt what they were looking for.
. -
Itll be a weird coloured rain fall round youre way..............
Its to be hope they dont stick their tongue out to catch a rain drop upon it.......theyll be in for a nasty surprise..............blame it on global warming and acid raine......My son is at home today reckoned he had a headache and refused to get out of bed.hes over six foot tall and an imovable object thre was no way i could drag him out of bed and if id kicked off hed have gone bollistick so would have caused chaos on the school special bus so id to just let him stay home.Hes back tommorrow whether he likes it or not.
-
Thing is my son does alsorts of weird stuff...you dont realy discuss it not amongst freinds they just wuldnt understand.I remember once a freind who has a much older son with learning difficulties saying to me in a hushed voice a few years ago do you have to wipe youre son after hes been to the toilet.............i said yes i do...she was like oh thank god i thought it was only me.She never spoke about it againe.Its kinda like a code of silence on certaine issues im finding and that makes you feel youre alone when like melowmeldrew and the toilet paper issue it appears im not.
We just joke about our son and the knicker robbing .although it does mean his sister has to lock her bedroom door,ive to vet the washing coz he robs stuff out of that.We just say oh god i hope hes not doing an eddie izzard
Oh well takes alsorts could be worse could be peeing in a cup...........haha................only kidding.Kids hey -
I guess you have to laugh if you didnt youd cry........I admit i even read the peeing in a cup post with a smirk on my face.......i know its not pleasent and must be awfull but it does sound kinda funny and strange.Like my son and his anal leakage saga it sounds funny people would smirk and laugh but in reality its not.....god we went through underpants like there was no tommorrow.Thank god for Primark and ten paires for a few pound hed wear soil and wed chuck in the bin there was nothing else for it.
My son latest and this sounds funny also and dead weird is steeling a certaine paire of knickers form his sisters drawer.God knows why............he does whatever it takes to get a hold of them then hides them in various locations in his bedroom.I find them remove them ask why he just says shut up to me and he robs them againe.Its like lets just let him have them.At first i thought is he a cross dresser.......i mean who knows ............but then i thought odd on if he were into it surely hed be robbing any paire of knickers he could get hold of but iits just one particulaR paire i think its something to do with the material.............he once had a thing about toweling and would take the towels out of the bathroom and sleep with them.ou just cant get youre head round it so its kinda best not to even try.his sister naturally is mortified by the whole sorry saga and insists hes a transvestite.......hes not..............its just another weird wakey phase.he once covered his bed in pepples form the drive and insisted on sleeping on top of them said it feal good.Who am i to say it doesnt.
And go on you know you want to smirk at the knicker robbing...god knows if he wears them.........id laugh if i read about it.
-
melowmeldrew
I thought it was only us and our son that had an intence fear and aversion to toilet paper.............thank god theres someone else out there.
My son had horrendous problems with his bowel movements also.he was constantly constapated with a bloated stomach and yet had anal leakage....it was rotton...........he would just refuse to sit on the toilet and empty his bowels.We tried alsorts............forceing him to sit theire whilst he screamed after an hour he would do something......the peadiatricon tried movicol............what a mess.............supositries that forced his bowel to contract ..........on and on it went.All those years of hell and mess and trauma and eventually he just grew out of it and now takes great pride in going virtually every day and blocking the toilet.........
He does still have a tendency though to hold on and on to his pee till he cant take no more then rushes to the toilet to go.........daft thing is after going he always says oh thats better so its obvious hes aware needing the loo is uncomfortable if you dont go.
I could write a book to rival in lenth war and peace on his toilet habits............
-
Id jump for joy me if it were my daughter upping sticks and moveing out ............if only.Let her go and get on with it then if she wants to come back say yep but we want a months rent in advance at the full 40 quid a week .........
Yes i know im a hypocrite.............see me post on how my own 17 year old daughter runs rings round me and im too soft and she pays no board and takes me for a ride.If only i could take me own advice.But im too soft.Its a lot easier dishing out how to handle teenagers and young people when there not youre own than doing what needs to be done.My daughter has spent up her wages paide me nowt and like a daft fool ive lent her 20 quid ..............
-
I have a tendancy to think perhaps its just a habit hes got into.
Was there ever a time when he didnt pee into a cup and throw it out the window.......think back is it something hes always done.
My son has a weird odd fear of useing toilet paper.............wont touch the stuff..............screams the place down if you try to make him use it or if you even put some near him,hes never ever wiped his own bottom with toilet paper.We tried alsorts ............he drove me mad..............hes now 15.............At one stage some mumbo jumbo physcologist bloke came to the house and tried to get inside his head to work out what the fear was........didnt work.
On the surface this toilet paper fear of my sons sounds trivial and daft yet it meant hed never wipe his bottom ever...........i thought is it the texture,colour is it a fear of touching his bottom.i even tried latex gloves said put those on still wouldnt do it.It took till he was 14 for him to wipe his own bottom even now he wont use toilet paper instead he uses a sponge and wets it..its better than nothing.Ive still to remove all tissue,paper napkins on plates if eating out and he refuses to touch toilet tissue.Ive asked whats it all about he doesnt or cant answer.
Thing is i dont know when my sons obsession fear began.........hes always done it.........i think.
If youre son used to pee in the toilet when did he stop............perhaps something happend in there that scared him,maybe he used a public loo and it was dirty and smelly and triggered the behaviour.Who knows.Its a weird one this even in the weird and wonderfull aspie world.
Perhaps like many things our kids do well never know why and itll stop as quickly as it began.
-
I too was offered ablation due to realy horrendous heavy periods the sort where you cant leave the house i was that aneamic id to undergo a blood transfusion.I was never offered a hysterectomy i wouldnt have one anyway.I panicked and chickened out of haveing the ablation i was scared of the aneasthetic and worried that if it went wrong id be left in a worse state.
http://www.hysterectomy-association.org.uk/forums/ i used to visit this forum its brilliant for getting information and advice from women who are in the same position or have undergone treatments.
-
My daughter only earns 25 quid a week...................theyve cut her hours back so much................ive told her its costing her more in bus fares...............
We dont argue.....been there done all that.............she has masses of freedom.she basically does her own thing.comes and goes as she pleases................all i ask is i know where she is..and she always lets me know shes arrived..............shes allowed to have her boyfreind stay over and in her room...............she also stays at his...she kinda tidies her bedroom and will help out if asked and pushed.but ive always been a stay home mum and housewife so i do everything its my job................
Her boyfreind...hes 20 has got it into his daft head theyll be able to set up home together........what on brass buttons.or heres the laugh he reckons hell say hes homeless been booted out and get a council flat they can shack up in...............hes going to make out his mum and dad have kicked him out and hes to doss at ours and we want him out............itll never work...............
When i try to point out she needs to try to sort her self out ect this is the real world not school anymore i just get her bleating.....................why why are you so mean and nasty to me.................yea i know playing on the faqct i dont want to be the rotton nasty mother whos forgotten what its like to be young.
But how come at her age i could stand up all day on a packing lin e.doing factory work for naff money yet she cant.ive said you realy gave up haveing brilliant choices when you cose to drop out and not traine as anything.
I guess im going to have to be subtle about things...............none confrontational ie if i just stop giveing her money helping her out say im skint ect so she is forced to see her situation and that she cant be picky over job choices..........
Im that soft ive said she and her boyfreind can come on holiday with us.............its a three bedroom cottage......there meant to be provideing there own spend...............
I guess itll all work out its a transitional period where she wants to bea grown up is desperate to leave home and yet doesnt want to actually get of her backside and do any thing to get there.
to think i was only her age when i met me husband and was running a home.paying bills cooking cleaning,washing ironing and working...............
-
<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> My Grandma died five years ago we were realy realy close i still miss her but with time like me youll be able to think of her and smile and laugh and enjoy memories of the good times.
I wasnt at the hospital when my grandma died she died in the early houres of the morning alone.............id seen her every single day she was in the hospital and the one night i didnt go took a break that happened i fealt so so guilty.then i read this.
God took you when i wasnt theire i know the reason why he knew i thought the world of you and would never have let you die................
It helped me.i took comfort in thinking perhaps shed waited untill i wasnt theire to save me the hurt of watching her go.
Take care
<'> -
<'> <'> I suffer from manic depression and at times youre emotions are all over the place..you dont know if what youre fealing is real or not.When ive been realy realy depressed ive often announced im leaving im off lets divorce..............why...........because a part of me thought that my husband and kids would be happier if i wasnt around that they wouldnt miss me that i wasnt needed.I never followed any of it through............beauty of being a manic depressive/bi polar is one minute you can be down and depressed and the next day you can be high as a kite and all negativity gone and forgotten.
Maybe youre husband thinks youd be better of without him..............perhaps all he needs to known and understand is that you all love him and dont want the trial seperation.that even though hes a depressive you still want him in youre life.
I hope it works out i realy do.
-
Can i scream ? arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Thats better.
What do you do.Mydaughter 17 dropped out of college after 6 weeks last september............against my wishes but she was a law unto herself and short of takeing her every day i was powereless.She got a part time job a month later and has been there every since......full time positions anywhere are like gold dust and even more so if youre a drop out even with a load of good grade gcses like she has shes no experiance in anything.
But im sick of her i realy am........she hangs around all day getting on my nerves..............or shes dossing up at her boyfreinds.................hes just been boooted out of his job............her hours have been reduced due to lack of sales....and yet when there is a full time position advertised like today that requires no experiance ect and is immediate start shes no interest......her reason this time ................i dont want to stand up all day...............shes bone idle she realy is.
She doesnt pay any board................how can she shes not enough money to do so...............shes supposed to buy her own clotheing and anything else she needs................
Thing is im too soft i keel over and give in to her lending money she never pays back...............I guess ...no i know ive got to toughen up.............stop all my help no more loans..........leave her to rot so shes forced to face up to the situation shes in.................Ive tried saying please look at college againe go back get on another course......falls on deaf ears...........
Now her blokes out of work she wont be botheres theyll just hang around all day together.
I cant face shouting and kicking off............it would just cause bad fealings and i cant cope with it.
Blasted teenagers...................
Rant over.
-
Ive not worked a full time job for 23 years................My husband works a full time job and im a stay at home mother and housewife.even if id had a glittering career theyd have been no way i could have continued it once our son was born..apart from the aspergers he was born with the congenital abnormality bi lateral choanel atresia and spent months in and out of hospital and need round the clock mediacal care for almost 2 years.
We manage without two wages..............ok we dont go on foreign holidays never had one.............we live in a ex council house..............we dont have fancy furnishings and run two cars.....................
kids and there happiness is to me me more important than earing a few bob going to work.
So id have jacked in the job years ago it wouldnt even be an issue.
And has for getting bored..................not realy you just have different routines to fill youre day..............and in the summer you can sit in the garden reading its great..............I do everything in the home i take care of everyones needs...its so not stressfull.................To be honest i wont ever work againe.Its better to be be a bit skint and happy and unstressed than miserable for the sake of an extra few quid..............Money isnt everything
-
<'> <'> <'> been there done it with bells on as regard to family memebers not getting it,blameing me ,our home ect reckoning theyd have it sorted with disapline and a good old fashioned smack.Took 15 years................thats how old my son is now for the peny to drop he cant actually help it and im not to blame.......oh and my sister who adopted a little girl and then discovering shed got similar problems.Shes now in the same rotton boat i was in 10 years ago with our parents thinking all this little girl needs is a good smack and that theres nothing up with her.Untill someones been in youre shoes they havent a clue.
If i were you id not be going to the wedding full stop..............i didnt go to my sisters daughters christening because at the time my son would have hated it...oh she moaned and said id let her down but she got over it.You cant win if id gone and it and all kicked of id have been in bother so we stayed away...i saw photos and a video..........
Ive learnt over the years to safe me breath on the explaniation front......to be blunt sod em all i please myself where my son and his problems are concerend at the end of the day im the one whos always got to be there for him.
DLA
in Help and Advice
Posted · Report reply
Thing is my son knows we claime the dla for him he is aware of money and stuff but what happens if i say ill be the apintee someone comes out and he gets it into his awkward aspie head to say i dont want mum doing it..............they listen to him over rule me and hey presto hes attempting to deal with it all and it goes ###### up .............hes not ready not at 16................Once he lost his bankers card he has a bank account i phoned the bank said me sons lost it can you issue us with another and they said they couldnt theyd to speak to him............well he was going beserk ranting yelling no way on earth could they deal with him yet they said hed to confirm who he was do sum sort of security stuff and say it was ok to speak to mum...it was never going to happen i explained he had learning diffiuclties and fat chance of a conversation with him they could hear him in background and they thank god took pity and dealt with me without his say so..............you see in theory hed think he was all grown up could do it in reality the ###### hits the fan...............
Thanks for youre help..............glad to know im not alone................i mean whats going to happen when hes 18 an adult in eyes of law yet not in his head........