Hi there,
I'm another new member. I have an adopted son who is 10 and who has Aspergers (diagnosed at 8). Sorry to hear you are having so many problems getting the right help fo your son, Cat. We have had a similar experience with school and SALT, but are a bit further down the line. Things have been a lot easier in terms of accessing the right kind of help for him since diagnosis, but we also had to move him out of his then primary school to see improvements. He has other issues which complicate the matter.
I totally understand the frustration when you hear " but he's a lovely boy! That used to drive me crazy, yes he is, but that doesn't mean we don't need to help him with his difficulties!
I'm reading some of the older posts with great interest.
Polly