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i have A.S but also have dyspraxia too when i'm at work or anywhere noisy loud environment bus place struggle grasp conversation get muddled confused get conversation wrong completely happen lot at work due to noise could this be part of my dyspraxia ? or my A.S or both? or could SPD come into play as lot of A.S ,Dyspraxia seem like other co -morbid conditions overlap closely neatly with SPD? what is chance possibility i could have this? or do i just have sensory processing difficulties as part of A.S /dyspraxia/ or 'something more than that' ? how would i know if had SPD? when i was assessed by CAMHS a clinical pyschologist she put in my diagnosis report that my processing speed score at aged 14 when assessed came out at 62 in extremely low range so did my perceptual reasoning score was 53 which also was extremely low range my working memory was again extremely low at 65 but i put this down to fact of dyspraxia due to retraining /keeping information in my head due to short-term memory loss the only thing came out different level/score was my verbal comprehension which turned out to be low average of 13 which i assume for A.S being quite talkative verbally expressive /communicative is where that comes in and fits in there? the recommendations of this diagnosisreport was to be referred to paediatrician of further investigation of my perceptual skills what does mean as this never came to anything/ never happened materialised at all/ could this be connected to SPD? and what i'm struggling difficulties now in situations? how would my perceptual skills affect me? also when reading a book at work to the kids i 'trip' over words and struggle with reading 'full' sentences they get broken split up jumbled get confused stumble over words/sentences get wrong is this just dyspraxia ? XKLX

A-S warrior - contact 'right people' as in who would that be??? umm... have no kind of emotional support right now available .... no pyschologist scared pluck up courage book meeting with care manager/ (mental health nurse) what's really going on in my life right now what i struggling with manage /cope deal with ....

i know this part and parcel of having living with A.S taking comments to heart taking everything personal to me and not letting it rise above me over my head this situation happens quite abit at work especially today by boss get upset angry at myself as put pressure on myself to be like 'them' i feel like divide of me and 'them' in work place and finding this difficult hard manage/deal with it nothing to do with 'them' creating these difficulties it me and where my head at and my thoughts/feelings emotionally overwhelm me to point i struggle to come back from and forget move on and say " tomorrow is another day" start again but it isn't as easy as that as keeps coming up time and time again really try hard to overcome it i get paranoid over my slow processing gets me frustrated/annoyed /depressed me trying to compare myself just adds more strain .... as i ain't as quick/fast as 'them' to get things done which i was .... when it noisy sensory issues it hard to digest spoken words /information as if i'm deaf! feel like i'm bad colleague ... bad person failuire everywhere i go right now can't do anything 'right' 'normal' i'm trying work things out .... everything getting to me as getting to point of emotional 'break down' crying non-stop tears or explosion of anger snapping gr! anyone understand get what i'm mean trying to say ... wish i could run away hide and never be seen heard again XKLX

how common MH co morbid condition??? how is set aside from 'just A.S or just depression there'? is BPD ( borderline personality disorder) as i read checklist feels this 'fits' what i feel think do VERY true and well my reality and then there's BDD (body dysphormic disorder) aswell if mentioned this scared be classed as hypo to be honest .... depression on it's own don't seem 'right' as never feel balanced stable in mood /mind either feel too high too low never in middle i scare me! .... XKLX

my dad still finding it annoying makes him frustrated /angry i have depression as sees it as 'excuse' i use and that feel sorry for myself when you have depression you're stuck trapped and feel SO ALONE i've tried reasonably explaining how it is for me my reality but feel he blocks any possible reason for this situation he even tries blocking A.S too lot he can't get his around 'me' he can't bear being around me just lately and i'm struggling to cope/manage everyday with 'dark' thoughts/feelings just so fed up as feel like my trying isn't enough can't give anymore he says i'm always miserable but i feel try my hardest to fight off depression but such hard fight to keep on top of right now can't get balance right i'm scared where does this leave me??? feel like no one wants to know i'm not sleeping well at all tossing and turning and don't feel like eating ... all too much ... now this .... i try asking him outright but causes arguement confusion over what he means coversation as wires crossed mum has help de code and feels we never reach point of true success balance stability of understanding he thinks i'm craving sympathy all time but this is not true or case ... but he won't have it any other way! i got no psychologist right now as NAS looking for another to replace old one just left few weeks ago moved so makes it worse feel such let down failure comments like this he doesn't realise feeds into depression self esteem which low just great! overwhelmed drained .... nothing more to say or give tried ringing care manager as she only just come back from being on long term sick but she wasn't in today need speak someone anyone no one available so home alone again nothing different there then.... he thinks comments such as these will help me feel better in myself WRONG!

sorry didn't read your post properly she IS on anti d's and isn't yet of dx with A.S by dyslexia etc dyslexia etc are co-morbid conditions which related closely connected/linked too other 'spectrum conditions' such as A.S it is common that one found first followed by onset discovery of other/s conditions or overlap of many different traits of each it mind blowing mindfield out there! get head around understand there's no easy time to be assessed and likey possiblity diagnosed with A.S as well too as like with me added with puberty can be highly stressful,anxious period in her life with yet still more unaswered questions lie ahead she ever open up fully discuss her depression? how long she been on anti-d's meds for? seem to be working lifting her mood? she probably feelng really confused by the whole situation ..... easiest emotion show is anger when depressed as shy away from really going on behind everything else and anger is common reaction in depression is probably pushing you away as she scared of what happening doesn't know what to do for the best how work things out make them 'right' as such... how long she been self-harming? was she secretive with it? does she seem hooked/addicted to doing it? does she say how she feels when she does it? does she let anyone know when she done it? with her GCSEs at school extra strain /pressure on top of her too! that making her anxious! all swirling around her! bless her! i can really see myself in her like mirror image so alike! what CAMHS said over her self harming or that why went CAMHS in first place like me? (depression & self -harm) do you her anger/aggression connected to depression/self-harm? this anger /aggression new or old issue? and you noticed any real triggers that set her off each time or different? what do her teachers at school say managing/coping in class with subjects /her mental/emotional state of mind? sorry all questions! hope don't mind! hope meds work for your daughter though! (fingers crossed) and also that don't wait too long for an assessment for A.S they given you timescale on this? i'd read some A.S (anger /aggression ) books may help understand more and also may cover issue of depression /self harm also in there!!! XKLX

sorry it like an essay it goes on abit! .... just explain .. what type of self harm does daughter do? cutting burning ODing??? . i can so relate to your teen daughter i was early teens when dark low crashing moods now i known as depression struggled to pretend 'everything was o.k' running just fine trying paint smile on my face all time in the end crushed me even more i went to G.P over this not being able to leave house now know it social anxiety but at time described as 'agorphobic symptoms' and was just not myself tearful sad and when asked questions from parents about why this was what made me feel this way i couldn't explain give them 'right correct' answers they wanted to hear was so hard difficult try put into words/explain became more confusing felt SO VERY ALONE SCARED helpless useless failure let down list when on and on really! i also went G.P over self-harm too felt it 'helped' made me feel 'calm' 'relaxed' when unhappy but also made me feel 'high buzz' from doing the cutting made me feel 'magically better inside' alright again happy ... was weird strange felt relief from it my parents struggled to get their heads around this situation i put them in andfelt very ashamed guilty over it that why kept it hidden secret only when it got uncovered i got found out discovered i felt worse .... terror of embarrassed of why resulted to such ... try explain why did it to make me feel 'better' was hard going felt like going round in endless circles getting lost not understanding real reason i was hiding my cuts under school sweatshirts i was self harming ( cutting) before i went school in morning to get through the day dreaded facing it that much! i hide scissors,knives anything sharp ( glass) under my pillow SENCO at senior school confonted me about it after mum rang school concerned/worried after what she'd discovered hidden under my pillow and excuses i made for cuts on my arms all suddenly became clear added up made sense .... from G.P i was referred to general counsellor where she spotted some clues from my eye contact etc something wasn't right adding up fully correct was referred to another specialist team who could help discover some hidden truths some answers from there was assessed / diagnosed really there and then two ladies who asked me and my mum background questions (education ,medical ,behaviour etc) knew straight away it was A.S we dealing with just didn't know a name for all these years with this condition being officially diagnosed in eary teen years (14) was such shock to system really go through so many different emotions happy frist one normally then sad /depressed then anger /bitterness /resentment maybe but puberty added to my situation made xomplex explosion worse i was angry hurt confused mess stuck didn't know where to go what to do where i fitted in belonged who i was ... so many questions again! again confusing again felt alone isolated all jumbled takes time to work through and unjumble need emotional reassurance/support which i had i think i was depressed in my childhood just didn't see it obviously like the rest! i became violent/aggressive towards my parents had to be physically restrained to floor police called was physically abusive held kitchen knife mums throat threatened her verbal abusive shouting,swearing ,slamming doors to extreme more than just 'average normal being a teen stage' i struggled work my way through mess destruction i tried run from myself who i was what i'd became ended up making right mess of everything and hurt everyone my family mainly wasn't pretty sight i was put on several different anti-depressants medications by CAMHS and Adult MHT but none of which felt worked or gave me side effects (prozac, mirtazapine, paroxetine) and anti -pyschotic med help reduce anger /aggressive outbursts/meltdowns towards parents lasting hours on end after while none started to work effectively enough to be honest! i still find balance of depression/anxiety hard to get stable/right maintain everyday it's fight draining overwhelming tiring that no one can't really see understand get so frustrating/annoying i think if i'd known i had A.S lot sooner maybe would be slightly easier ... suppose hinsight and can't predict just wish could go back change the past as i would! always known as far back childhood something wasn't quiet 'right' like my friends i wasn't 'like them' a difference my own world and theres seperate i also have dyspraxia so lot was just put down to that or classed as general SEN or development delay nothing was investigated further or fully more! i also taken several OD's after my outbursts/meltdowns mainly af ended up in A& E til early hours of morning with my mum have to be seen by emergency pysch crisis team on call then i was told was safe to go home even though me and mum agreed not! as i was too young to be sectioned and wasn't right place for me so was turned around in unstable state home again! was seen at home by crisis team for 3 days for an hr took me for walk talk nothing special really! i lost sense of true reality in these meltdowns/outbursts was scary frightening and felt wasn't in control at all didn't feel 'like me' at all hated myself my life just wanted way out any way! wanted an escape had enough was so fed up drained .... my depression is very much switching all time up and down like yo-yo rollercoaster ... not good or nice .... exercise has helped me stay healthy mind ( can do opposite do much though) i go gym & swimming ,jogging so hard find peace feel comfortable settled within yourself your life!!! such challenge everything an effort an obstacle not be awakard we avoid as makes us feel uncomfortable to face head on! or just not ready! be prepared for everything and anything! i wrote suicidal note to my college tutor as well self harmed (cut with scissors) in college toilets at college! so yes, i so know and understand ,sympathise/empathise with how your daughter feels right now all you can do is be there like sounds like doing anyway! has she tried keep thoughts/emotions diary this may help her let it out more constructive healthy way? she tried rating her moods during day see how change throughout up down scoring it 1 - being worse and 10 being happy content? is your daughter on anti d's meds? has she been give alternative ideas /suggestions instead of resulting to self -harming? does she get much MH service support/help? anyone she truly confides in with personal thoughts/feelings as this is also important factor when depressed ... does she get autism help/support/ she see counsellor/pyschologist/pyschtrist? your daughter ever tried commit suicide or suicidal thoughts when depression plays up like right now i get real dark thoughts of not wanting face another day ... XKLX

a-s Warrior- i DONT have BDD look at forums can't relate to anyone ...

SORRY im selfish xxx

im at right at back corner ... crying every night over my weight etc i feel & look overweight bad! XKLX

M.P- i am healthy weight i ain't underweight... XKLX

i wish him best of luck .... is that why he sectioned due to suspected ED? ana? hope he get much needed help/support he needs in hospital!!! and hope family therapy sessions work out well for everyone involved! has he had long term weight/eating type issues/difficulties? or is it recent?

mandapanda - can truly empathise with your son right now it scares me silly but too scared to make next step! everyone around me keeps telling me heading on road for diaster... but hey ho i don't i feel fine i feel FAT & UGLY a freak highly paranoid feel like people laughing at my body image! i'm so anxious about food in general calorie intake so can appreciate what son going through emotionally right now not good place to be! family keep checking up on me all time drives me mad crazy and work now too see if i've eaten what i've eaten! gr! all on high alert for some strange weird reason! just HATE myself my BODY hate what i see in mirror but feel compelled to check all time on it! feel no need on everyone being worried panicking over nothing to be honest! family friends think i'm OTT on exercise routine of gym,swimming ,jogging,zumba classes! has your son got low self esteem/low body image? was he bullied about his weight? has he got depression? hope all goes well for him and he on road to recover soon!!! XKLX

been reading back on old school reports : reception june 1995- kirsty has become better at joining in the other children's games inside school but does find more difficult at playtimes when outside she does tend to rush activities year 1 june 1996 (english) - sometimes needs more complex instructions repeated general comments - now more willing to share and tends to stay within smaller group of friends i think she would benefit her if she could play more imaginary games particulary at playtime year 2 june 1997 - gives her best even when finds things obviously difficult usually completes tasks in mature way depending on any distactions junior school -july 1999 general comments - she is still caught up in her own world & relates what we do this all way through have concentration & attention span difficulties keeping it - AS or dyspraxia? and struggling with maths concepts,handwriting/spelling??? clear of difficulties in all areas social etc all way through my report easy to see just put down to dyspraxia by junior school SENCO and paed feel deprived bitter angry of how didn't see what was going on? do i have right? as AS wasn't 'out there' well known,aware? maybe i'm wrong? and do you think most of these teachers comments are down to A.S being unrecognised undetected do you think it mixture of A.S & dyspraxia? XKLX

i'm at back on the right hand corner of the photo btw all i see in the mirror is fat and ulginess can't bear it anymore something taken hold grip of me and i can't let go scared too... i buy magazines to read celeb weight loss stories!