hangingon

After a discussion (almost row)with my Son 22 (aspergers ocd/panic attacks) He went off to have a bath (only got up at midday) I decided to make a coffee, roll a cigarette (stopped for 25 yrs, started again last 18 months)and have some time on the internet. Checked my post then saw yours. I went to an ESPA seminar @ sunderland this week. The guy who leads it started off by saying, and this is not an exact quote. 'I used to be a nice guy but now I'm nasty.' 40 years of fighting for his son had changed him. Mind you still looked and sounded like everybodies favourite grandad to me. If East Yorks is anything like North Yorks then I take my hat off to you. You have my complete and utter sympathy. Not that my efforts have paid dividends yet but try these if you already have not, they'll exhaust even more, but I suspect come the new day you'll be up and grinding your teeth again to get at them:- Find out who are the board members of your local lea. Compose a letter saying how your son's life is, how life is at home, the effect it's had on your and the health of your family, the desperation the exhaustion of it all. State you are not satisfied with the situation and want action. Send the same letter to each member asking them to confirm individually they have recvd it. No doubt you'll get a letter back from the c.exec on their behalf. Wade through the compulsory waffle and pc correctness see what the bones are. You'll not be happy with the reply (they probably will only scim through your letter) and then write back again sending a copy to each member of the board saying what you said before and stating you believe you have a right to meet with the c.exec. Don't be put off. Keep hitting the BOSS. Irritate the hell out of them. Write to you MP both at House of Commons and to the constituency office. Tell him/her of your desperate plight, lay it on thick (as if you have to. They should write to the lea c.exec and you will get 1. a copy of that letter and 2 a copy of the lea's c.execs waffling reply back. Then contact your MP's office by phone and request a meeting at the next surgery. Ask your GP and your Son's consultant to write to the lea c.exec to assist your case. send some shock waves through the system. If you get a meeting (you will believe me if you persist enough) then send another post on here. You are a 100% solid gold star. Take a leaf from Winston Churchill. Who used to say 'KBO' keep bu..ering on. Many many years ago when I first got married I got depressed (nothing to do with the wife) but some tragic situations. My GP sent me to see a psycho. There I sat and laid it all out everything that had happened etc etc. After hearing it the psycho said and I do quote. 'Frankly I'm surprised your not as nutty as a fruit cake.' Didn't need another appt or start tablets. I walked out tall. I am sure the above has been teaching someone to suck eggs. Go and have a good swear and shout. best regards and hangon in there

Firstly let me make my apologies and please hear me. I do not wish to upset offend or dismiss anyone by what I say. I KNOW there are stories worse than ours infact I would imagine it is the 'norm.' As I said in a meeting with both chief execs. of the relevant NHS trusts I dont want sympathy I just want help for my Son. If I placed together all the detailed letters I've written to GP's, Consultants, Critical assessment Managers, CBT therapists, every member of each individual NHS board, MP's etc etc I would now be a cerial novalist. The 100's of hours on the phone trying to get someone somewhere to give our Son (22) help. My personal health has deteriorated and I'm mentally exhausted and close to cracking at times by the fight of the last 6 yrs undertaken for my Son and by living with my Son. Our family has hung together by a thread and other members have become ill as a direct consequence of this never ending knightmare. My Son was diognosed with OCD/panic attacks 6 years ago. We knew he was not quite right (he had been difficult all his life) but were totally and utterly ignorant of what OCD/Panic attacks meant, all we knew was we feared for his life. Therefore we had no option but to totally trust the professionals(?). We dared to suggest Aspergers as to us he had symptoms of it. It was dismissed. Finally after I exploded (a regular occurrance last 6 years)and demanded the proper test for Aspergers it was done. Result- some signs but also had a close friend for many years who had aspergers who he admired and may have copied. Reluctantly we therefore forgot Aspergers and concentrated our efforts on OCD. Now 6 years later after a review, only undertaken after Dad exploded again,(Our son worse rather than improved under NHS)His new psychiatrist said and I quote 'I'm no expert but I would like your Son to be tested for Aspergers' This time at Sheffield Aspergers Centre. Result he has Aspergers. It explains a million things but does not help with the hell horror and torture he has had to endure whilst being treated(?)by on the most part time-filling novices. So our Son now deeply rooted engrained in OCD for years now has Aspergers to contend with also, officially. We have been funded for 5, 1 hour sessions at Sheffield Aspergers centre, which is great (again fight required)but in my opinion having Aspergers in ignorance whilst also having every growing OCD, things are too deep set. I feel he needs intensive (possibly residental )treatment to help him 1. Come to terms with the position 2. Helped to fully understand what it is 3. Given some HOPE that there's life with Aspergers and OCD. It is a quite remarkable testament to his depth of character and ingenuity that he has not gone insane and manages to function the way he does. He has our love but also my deepest highest respect he is more of a man than I could ever wish to be. I would have topped myself. He has always always said 'I wish I could talk to someone that could give me something to work with to understand ME and for me to understand be given the equipping to fight this. We are now exploring nutrition amongst other things, I am going to a seminar in Sunderland this week ESPA. BUT we need help from those who walk this walk and know :- What to do, Who to see, Who we need as a package of care support and treatment. What books to read. AND as importanlty who where and what not to do or see. As I stated I am exhausted searching explaining writing ringing. Give me what and who works. Thank you now 3am goodnight