chloesmum

Hi Pollypop, I'm new to this site too and have a 15yr old daughter who's in the process of being diagnosed with aspergers. Wow your daughter was diagnosed at a young age, which seems to be rare for girls. I know exactly what you mean about how little support there is for siblings. My marriage also broke down 5 years ago and my elder daughter has been my rock. The last 18 months have been particularly difficult and the impact on my elder daughters life has been huge. Her friends couldn't possibly begin to imagine what she's been living with which made her feel isolated. She's at university now which is wonderful but struggles with guilt cos she's not here to support me, and worries constantly about what's going on at home. A support system for siblings is definitely needed! Your parent support group sounds good, and you seem to be coping really well. There's a local group which I'm planning to go to when I get the chance. I really didn't know much about aspergers until recently, so any advice from more experienced mums will be very welcome.

Hi bonbons, I don't know about you but it worries me that so many girls are being diagnosed so late. My daughter showed a lot of signs from a young age, she's been obsessive about what she wears since she was tiny, had epilepsy, dyspraxia and was a tiptoe walker. I hate to think of her suffering in school for so long cos I now know it was pure hell for her. It's a shame your daughter can't get into a special school til she's statemented. My daughter has only just started her diagnosis, which they tell me will take up to a year, but has had a place in a small medical tuition group since September. Unfortunately her anxiety is so bad at the moment she can't face going but I'm hoping she'll start back after xmas. Can you get any home tuition, my daughter had that during the last summer term, it's only an hour a day but it got her back into studying after months of sitting on the computer watching anime. I know exactly what you mean about learning how to talk to your daughter, it's something I'm still learning and is like treading on eggshells. One wrong word and all hell breaks loose. Sometimes, when she's doing something outrageous, I do find it hard to stay calm and not lose my temper cos there's just no reasoning with her. Oh well rant over for tonight!

Hi Smiley, Sounds like things are still difficult for you. All I can say is thanks again for all your advice it's been really helpful. I know my daughter is feeling all of the things you do, but is unable to tell me. The fact that you are prepared to help others should make you very proud of yourself! J x

Hi Kathryn, Thanks so much for your reply. It's really good to hear that your daughter has come through the bad times, I'm so happy for you both and it gives me hope for the future. I do feel that unless you're actually looking after a child like ours you really can't understand what it's like, so I'm sure this forum will be a big help to me. I know things won't change quickly, I'm in it for the long haul which is pretty daunting cos I'm physically and emotionally wrecked.

It's good to know that you're coping much better now. All I can say is well done, you're a fighter! Hope my daughter can find the strength in her that you have, I will do my best to support her through these scary times.

Thank you so much for your help and advice, I will try everything you've suggested. I think the doctor is going to try her on Rispiredal so we'll see. Take care.

Yes I understand completely why she acted as she did and know that she can't control her emotions and hurts herself out of pure frustration. I want to help her to deal with this as much as I can. Have you been given medication to help you cope?

Hi there, sorry to hear you've also been through the same nightmare as my daughter. Are things better for you now and if so how did this happen? My daughter doesn't regularly self harm but has cut herself in the past. After she jumped the other day she said she wanted to hurt herself really badly but not to die. I don't know how to help her, have you got any advice?

Thanks for the reply. It's comforting to know there are others who understand what I'm going through. Hopefully this latest incident will result in a change of medication as her acute anxiety is preventing her from having a life. She's having a visit from the outreach team today so fingers crossed. As for myself, you're probably right and I will see my doctor when I get time.

Hello to everyone, Just wanted to share my story and hopefully get some advice from others in a similar situation. My 15yr old daughter is in the process of being diagnosed with aspergers after a year of being treated for depression and getting nowhere. In the past 12 months she has overdosed twice, repeatedly attacked both myself and her sister and is currently having no education as she is far too anxious to cope with it. Last week we saw her psychiatrist after I asked for a medication review as she has been taking Fluoxetine for a year with no effect. I asked him for a sedative to give her when she's feeling really bad as this was suggested by her mental health nurse. He refused to give this to me. It was her birthday last weekend and we had meticulously planned a trip to London to go to Tokyo Toys (she's obsessed with Anime and Manga) but I got a sickness bug and couldn't take her. She could not cope with the disappointment and ended up jumping off the banisters at home. She has broken a toe and both feet and ankles are a swollen, bruised mess. I am a single parent and have so far managed to keep working (my only outlet) but now realise I will have to give up work and be her full time carer. I cannot tell you how depressed that is making me feel. Is there anyone else out there with a similar story who can give me some hope for the future?