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Hi everyone I really want to know how I can get a decent private diagnosis for my son who is 4 in October? I am waiting on an NHS waiting list to be seen but its a joke. They are majorly short staffed and cannot give me any idea when thhey can even give me an appointment date let alone when it will be! I strongly believe my son has aspergers and have felt like this for over a year. His behaviour is becoming more challenging. Some days I feel I can't cope with the meltdowns etc. If I had an official diagnosis I feel I could access more support. I trust the NHS diagnosis more than private and definitely want to go ahead with it. I would just like to try and seek a private diagnosis too so when my son starts school I have something more concrete to tell his teachers. I have heard that many schools ignore private diagnosis but I still think its worth having so they believe my son needs extra help. I don't know where to go, do you see a paediatrician, child psychologist, educational psychologist?? And how do you make sure they are good?! I've read people on this site saying make sure you see an expert and not a self proclaimed expert but how would you know the difference? Any advice from people who have been through this would be much appreciated. Thanks. Sarah.

Hi all My son is nearly 4 and is being referred currently to get a possible diagnosis of Aspergers. I have a 1 year old too and I'm finding it very difficult to have them get on. My older son is constantly wanting to dominate their play and my younger son's every move. He doesn't even want him to be allowed near the toys he wants to play with. I feel like I'm constantly having to be a referree. I use the time out/naughty step method and reward charts for when he displays good behaviour e.g affection, sharing. I want to enjoy my time with my boys! Has anyone been through this and how did they deal with it? He also will often snatch a toy away from my youngest and run off with it and place it out of his reach simply so he cannot have it! I find this very annoying as he doesn't even want it himself! Thanks.

Thanks for that i will go wiyhout him.

Thanks so much. Its hard when you as the mum know theres differences but have to wait so many years to actually know! Were the concerns with education, social issues or behaviour out of interest? Just wondered where the reception and year 1 teachers didnt notice anything. Thanks.

Thanks for reply. You say your son was 8. Do you wish he had been diagnosed sooner? I never know whether im doing the right thing going to the doctor. Hes not having any probs at nursery but i think there maybe could be problems when hes actually at school. When did your child start having problems? Did you know long before they were diagnosed? Thanks.

Hi I strongly suspect my 3 1/2 year old has Aspergers. I mentioned a few things to a GP a while ago who told me to make a log and then bring it back to him when I was ready. What concerns me is my son is very bright and I don't want him to think there's anything wrong with him. How do I talk to the doctor about his flapping, lack of interest in other kids etc without making him feel bad about himself, like theres a problem. How have people overcome this? Or has anyone had the first doctor chat without their child being present? Not sure if this is possible or if the doc would want to see him. Thanks.

Hi Must of good to finally get a diagnosis. How long did the process take? Did you already know he had aspergers? How did you feel a diagnosis would benefit your son? That was another thread I put on here. Its just I wonder when I should go and see someone about my son if at all. I think he definitely has aspergers but hes getting on fine at nursery so I was wondering in what ways a diagnosis would help him or would it just make him feel different? Thanks. Sorry for so many questions!

Hi guys Interesting I will look up dyspraxia later. Also I always assumed the riding the bike thing was the pedalling, didn't realise people with aspergers had trouble with the balancing. I was definitely thinking my son would need one to one swimming lessons too.

Hi thank you all so much for your replies! Very helpful. I love hearing people diagnosed with AS have families and are successful. Yeah youre right i am very conscious of making him feel bad about it. I mainly only point it out if he is very near people as he could hit them. I was just projecting into the future and imagining his teachers just thinking he couldnt keep still - that is if we didn't get a diagnosis, if we did then theyd understand. Useful tips about the twisting beads etc. He already twusts his hair lol! We call it him making little dreadlocks, you cant brush it after! While im on here, instead of putting new thread up...... Wanted to ask if you had any feedback on boys being behind physically due to AS? Its just my sons being taking part in a class involving very basic ball skills. Its just meant to be fun and the teacher is very kind and encouraging but my son struggles with this type of thing. Especially following instructions. E.g if he was to just kick a ball hed do it ok but when asked to do it in a certain way he doesnt seem to get it. Anyway just wondered if this is something in children with AS that they grow out of and catch up or whether it continues into adulthood? So would more fun physical types of play help him improve? Thanks again!

Hi all Wondered whether anyone or their children have received any kind of therapy to reduce flapping when in public. My son does it a lot and I don't want the other kids to tease him when he starts school so was wondering whether anything could be done to help? Thanks.

Thanks for that. Well if thats the case i better get a diagnosis quick cos would hate him to be in the army! Only joking!

Another question I have is...does anyone know if it says on your medical records that you have autism/aspergers, does it prevent you getting certain jobs? I'm just thinking of my son's future. Thanks.

I have started a kind of log, just jotting things down. I have a really nice GP who adv he said just come back to him with it when i feel the need to.

Hi Thanks so much for your detailed reply. I have read that aspergers children can be viewed as spoiled brats and thats how I feel my son is viewed when he kicks off when he doesnt get his way. A new concern of mine that has only just arisen is his complete over reaction when he falls and grazes himself. It could be the tiniest scratch and he cries and is properly distressed for a very long time afterwards! I read up on aspergers and response to pain and it was very interesting cos it said that they could react as if theyd lost a limb over a paper cut! This is like my son but the article said that flapping reduces the effect overstimulation but also reduces general responding normally to stimuli in the environment. And this accumulates over the day, therefore the author said if a child hurts themselves in the afternoon the reaction would be less. This was so accurate in my sons case as yesterday he had a meltdown over a tiny graze in the morning then in the afternoon he had a much worse cut on his hand with quite a bit of blood and he barely reacted! Anyway its like you said its a waiting game and only time will tell. I never want him to be labelled as a troublemaker, Id rather home school him!!! Does your child have some firends? My only wish for my son is for him to have 1 or 2 friends in life and to be able to get a partner when older. Doesnt matter if hes not the best socially but would hate him to be lonely. Thanks again.

Hi guys Thanks for replying so quickly He has many traits: gets upset by strong smells obsessions with strange things e.g light bulbs! he talks in the 3rd person he developed late physically - even now has an unusual gait, clumsy. I find his behaviour challenging and I am a qualified teacher and use some techniques on him that I learnt are helpful to autistic kids e.g i have to use countdowns so he doesn';t go mad when we end an activity. He used to line toys up He is an incredibly fussy eater, when weaning wouldn't have any new textures/lumps. I had to pureee everything completely smooth. They are a few things I can recall offhand but to be honest when I read about it there are more traits. However things like no eye contact and late talking aren't him at all. Hes always been a great communicator and spoke well before any other kids his age. He is above average intelligence and can sound like a little proffessor at times like when talking about light bulbs! So as you can see he does have quite a few symptoms of it. I began researching it beacuse a group of friends he sees regularly all had started to imitate each others behaviour and wanted to play together and my son had no interest, he would just do his own thing and seemed oblivious. But more recently he does seem to want to get involved more. So basically I find his behaviour challenging but as long as he's getting on OK at school would you think it best to leave him undiagnodsed? What are the actual benefits of having a diagnosis if the symptoms are mild>? For example i have a friend whose child has autism and their father has some traits but has a successful job, friends etc and in that case it was probably better for him not to know he was different? Thanks.

Hi all I just wanted people's opinions who are on the autistic spectrum. Basically my child is 3 1/2 and after researching a lot I strongly suspect he has aspergers. However as he is so young it is still difficult to say. He arm flaps a lot when excited and has done since a baby so that is a very visual reminder to people that he is slightly different to the other kids. As I said he has many of the aspergers traits I've read about but functions normally at nursery, they haven't noticed any probs. The staff love him, find him very funny and think he's a bit quirky/eccentric. He isn't as social as some of his friends but gets by OK so far. He is very social with adults and prefers to interact with them. That leaves me with the dilema - would it be beneficial for him to have a diagnosis? For me I would like to know so I can help him, but if he does have it and could get through life not knowing and not suffering beacuse of it then would that be better? I was thinking I could still read up on ways to help him even without a diagnosis. If somebody had mild aspergers, didnt know and always just thought socialising wasn't their strong point would that be better than growing up thinking they had a condition with stigma attached to it (although there obviously shouldn't be!)and labelled for life. What do people think? Thank you, as you can imagine I think about this daily and want to do the best for him whatever that is. I was planning on waitting to see if he does have problems when he starts school and if so, then we'd probably have to get a diagnosis for his sake so teachers etc understand him better. But if he doesn't experience probs, just flaps a lot, and he isn't bothered, then would it be best for no one to think he was on the spectrum? Hope that makes sense to people. Also does anyone have any advice on flapping? I'd like to reduce the amount he does it in public as sometimes he almost hits people in the face and I don't want him to get teased. How can you go about this without making him feel it's wrong as he obviously needs to do it. Thanks.