Scottiegal

I think I didn't put across clearly what I meant. J is being punished for his bad behaviour and I fully agree with that. What is concerning me is that J is taking everything from being punished, to being made to do writing in English, to the shop having run out of his favourite snack, to me making him go to bed on time and adding these to a very long list of why (in his words) his life is awful. I have already stood back and told him that is the way life is and it is clearly not having any effect. We have already had one incident of self harming, which he fobbed off as "I wanted to see what it was like" so you can understand my concern that this is symptomatic of something more serious.

J is a very immature 9 year old and yes it may be that he doesn't know how to express his anger properly. Both at home and at school he get pulled up for his usual expression of anger ie. thumping his brother or a classmate. I did give him a cushion that he could punch if he was angry, but at one bedtime recently it went on for over 5 minutes. School is aware about these bullying incidents as I mention them to the teacher every time they happen and I even spoke to the head about it when they were actually hitting J (which has fortunately now stopped). School does deal with it, but in my opinion the punishments are not severe enough to discourage it from happening. The worse thing is that most of the incidents would not fall under the usual criteria of bullying for an NT child - it would be regarded as teasing, but J takes it to heart and gets very upset. From what I can see J is desperate to fit in with a particular group of boys, one of whom is a nasty piece of work, and will do whatever they want him to. Looking in as a mother it seems like they are getting Jason to use a lot of bad language such as calling other people gay, and then stepping back to let J take the fallout. I'm hoping that when we go back they will have found someone to take on the extra 5 hours he's been awarded on his statement and have some supervision at lunchtimes.

I know J is having a rough time of it lately (school is building, his teacher was off several days in the last few weeks, and he's having bullying/teasing issues with some of his "friends"at school) but I'm getting concerned about his mood. Every time something bad happens (in his view at any rate) he is tacking it on to an increasingly long list of why his life is awful. I had hoped that with half term I could get him settled but he got given a time out a gym tonight for using bad language and it set him off again. My hubby and I have tried explaining that he should start each day afresh and to forget about the things that happened yesterday as we can't change them, but it's not working. Anyone have any suggestions what we can do?

Thanks to all for your replies. I have read through SENDIST's criteria for allowing an appeal and it would appear that because I am wanting to change the type of school he goes to I can't appeal, unless I ask the LEA to reassess J and they refuse to do that. We have also been advised to get private reports done to support our belief that mainstream schooling can't support his needs. Looks like we have a long battle ahead of us

Hi, I'm new to the forum though not to ASD. My eldest, who is nearly 10, was official diagnosed with High Functioning Autism in Year 3 (he's now Year 5) though we were told he most likely had it when he was in Reception but that we shouldn't label him as he was doing OK at school. We've had a long fight trying to get him support at school and finally got a Statement for 25 hours 1 to 1 support last year. He is finding school increasingly more difficult: battling with concentration, sensory issues, writing tasks (even when scribed by his LSA) and bullying. We tried at his annual review to increase his hours to full time and to move him to specialist provision, but have only been given 30 hours. Although school is our primary source of problems, we are finding that whatever has worked J up at school comes home and is taken out on his younger brother and don't even begin to mention homework to me - I do a happy dance when they aren't set homework. The last few weeks have been hell on earth: school is building, the Year 6's had their SATs, J's class have had assessments and his teacher has been out of school several days recently for family issues, so there has been a lot coming home. I'm hoping I can get some advise and support here in what is looking like a difficult road ahead.

My son has a diagnosis of high functioning autism with borderline developemental disorder, sensory processing disorder and speech problems relating to processing. He is in Year 5 at a mainstream primary and is struggling. At his recent annual review (our first) we requested his hours be increased to full time (he was on 25 hours) and that he be moved to specialist provision. The LEA have come back with 30 hours and that his current school can meet his needs as "is confirmed by the paperwork from the Annual Review". I'm not sure whose paperwork they were looking at as both the Head Teachers report and our own clearly stated that he was already having difficulties in mainstream and this would only get worse in Year 6 and secondary. I'm not sure where we can go from here and am hoping that somebody can advise me. I'm in a bit of quandry as I don't think school is meeting some of his statement objectives - notably the social skills requirement, but I also work at the school so I am concerned if I start saying that school is not providing things required in his statement (which I would have to do to show the school is not meeting his needs) that I may lose my job.