Grey Haven

Any tips on what to write? My basic objective is to get my son offered a place at a local Autism Resource base, removing him from part time mainstream education into full-time specialist placement. I have the full backing of his school and also the Outreach person at said Autism Resource Base who has been working with him at his mainstream school. The statement has been written, tweaked, approved by all and it just needs my parental advice sheet complete outlining my views on Connor and what I want to happen. I've drafted one together following a format the school has given me and it is written from the heart as well as incorporating my realistic wishes for him. It has headings like "progress" "behaviour" "Learning", etc and you comment below. Anyone done one and like to pass on any key phrases that I should be using:?!?!? Thanks

Hi, I've posted before about Connor starting reception class this year at mainstream local school. The school have been excellent and he is presently doing 2 hours each morning as at present that is all they feel he can deal with and because of staffing (we don't yet have a statement!) they can for 1:1 for this period of time. I requested a meeting today as I was looking to extend the hours a little as I was struggling with fitting everything in in the two hour window I have while he was a school and it was adding to my own pressures outside of school! Mum stressed = less likely for good behaviour. Despite having verbal reports on Connor each day and a Home/School diary I was shocked to learn today and the school were experiencing escalating episodes of Connor being quite violent when asked to do something that he didnt' want to do. We have had issues like this before, but they have ceased at home - even when he's in meltdown he no longer "goes" for me. However at school this is not the case and he has inflicted some quite nasty bites on teachers and really pulled/slapped other children before anyone could intervene. Any other school would have excluded Connor by now (the local Autism outreach worker words, not mine!) so I am of course grateful to the school for perservering. They have put as much as they can in place, giving him a tent to go in when he needs alone time, using visual prompts, 1:1, etc so they are doing everything "right" so to speak. The Outreach person is going in once a week as well. What can I do to stop this violence? I'm terrified he's really going to hurt someone...........if we can stop the violence then the school can cope with everything else I'm sure! The AOT (Autism outreach teacher) suspects (as do I) that Connor is just refusing to do things he doesn't want to (normal 4 year old asserting himself). Most kids would have a tantrum then give him, but it seems that once Connor gets to a certain "stage" of tantrum the Aspergers/Autism kicks in and he goes into meltdown and cannot control himself or his feelings. I keep drumming into him "no kicking, no hitting, no biting" but this little mantra doesn't seem to help! Any ideas?!?!?!?! I feel so low at the moment and actually burst into tears in the meeting

Lynden You are right to point out that maybe the times weren't explained - it has only been the second week when the hours were extended the really bad behaviour stated. I should slap my wrist for not spotting that one! I have, however, today spent time with him explaining that tomorrow after "playtime" he'll be picked up so he has some idea of timescale! Been asking him to repeat it back to me this afternoon as well, ie "I go into school and have my milk and fruit, then we do work time, then it's playtime, then I come home." Do you think they are that aware of the concept of time (he cannot "tell" the time yet?) or maybe it's because "tidy up time" is new this week, whereby as previously it was not introduced as they were going home before it started?

Thanks Mel. They do have 1:1 at the moment using the Teaching Support Assistants and they are excellent. They have someone coming in on Thursday from the local Autism unit to give them some pointers and we have today started down the Statement route - although I understand that this may take some time! How did you cope with the anger management? He knows he is angry, but cant tell me or anyone else why and when you speak to him afterwards it's like it happened to someone else!

Hi All, Connor has just started Reception class at our local school. He's 4 1/2. He's been going to nursery since he was 9 months so so we've not had any real separation problems per se. I realise that ASD children have an issue with change, but Connor is having real trouble adapting. His anger management issues are manifesting themselves at the same time (just before lunch) each day. He is on a staggered start, so 9-11.30 the first week, 8.50 - 12.15 last week and today 8.50 to 1.30 (staying for lunch) The school have been brilliant, they have given him his own workstation so if the hub-bub of the class of 30 kids gets too much he can take himself off there, and they also have a tent for him if he needs some quiet time. Today I had a meeting with them and they now want to pull back his hours to 8.50-11 for a few weeks as they think that because of the new environment, routines, etc, his "new information" limit has been hit and by 11.30pm (the flashpoint hour) he has had enough sensory stimulation, thus causing the violent outbursts. We would hopefully extend these hours once he was comfortable with his present timescale and gradually build up to full time education. I've agreed to go along with this as I would dearly love him to stay in mainstream education and the school have an excellent reputation with ASD children they have had through before. We are keeping a home/school diary and I've just started the Early Bird Plus Austism course myself. I'd love to hear your thoughts/experiences as at the moment I'm feeling pretty low and hopeless!

Thank for the reply! I do have my suspicions about family history - my husband's brother's little girl is also undergoing the ASD diagnosis route so I do wonder if there is a link!

Hi all Have posted a quick intro to myself and my ASD little boy Connor in the meet and greet section, but was wondering in the meantime if any of your here can associate with the following "symptoms" that we are daily dealing with with our recently diagnosed little one! Connor is 4 1/2 years old now and due to go to a very good school just across the road from us which has an excellent reputation with additional needs children. he already attends a private nursery two mornings a week and a pre-school two afternoons a week. Connor is high functioning ASD so we are very lucky in the respect that he can communicate very well and is very physically active. However his problems manifest themselves in the following ways: 1) Anger management - his temper if very short fused and me bubbles very close the surface most days. We seem to have good and bad weeks - does anyone else notice this pattern at all? This is a BAD week! Lots of shouting and hitting and generally being very very bolshy. Other weeks are much better and he responds to reason and reminders to use "gentle hands" and "keep his hands and feet to himself". Good weeks are good - BAD weeks are when it really gets me down! 2) lack of concentration - unless it's a computer game (which we limit his use of). He goes to karate once a week, but I'm beginning to wonder if that's a good idea as all he wants to do is run around - thus disrupting the class. He never seems to look forward to going and doesn't enjoy it when he's there so I feel like "what's he point!". He loves going to the park, where I guess play is unstructured! He plays quite nicely with other children he meets, but if he takes a dislike to someone we usually have to leave! I can handle all the little quirks that come with ASD and he is a very affectionate child - if I can crack dealing with the anger management life would be a lot less stressful for me! He has hit me a couple of times and the shock and remorse on his face the instant he has done it tells me he had no control over his actions - the anger has just taken over. It's so hard to judge what is ASD related behaviour (and therefore pretty much un-concious on his part) or what is the action of a normal little 4 year old boy pushing his boundaries like any other 4 year old! Sorry, it turned into a bit of an essay!!! Any help, or even just hearing your similar stories and how you cope would be greatly appreciated! Sharon x

Hi All, My name is Sharon and I live in Bristol - after a year of child psychologists, paediatricians, etc we have just received the diagnosis that my four & a half year old little boy has high functioning Autism/Aspergers. We also have a two year old little girl. As a Mum I sort of always knew something wasn't right, I am of course saddened by the diagnosis but happy that now at least my son will be getting the support he needs! I have so many questions to ask you guys! It's nice to speak to "professionals" but sometimes only a mum coping with an ASD child can appreciate day to day what we have to contend with and that's the sort of good, honest down to earth advice I think I need now! I'll post specific questions on other threads - but in the meantime "Hi!"