Undiagnosed person here - but reading up on Aspergers. My big brother is also undiagnosed but he really is 'more obvious'. I have trained myself to act normal. I was painfully shy as a child and hated parties, lots of people around etc. Still do (am 46). Hated clothing and scratched myself raw if made to wear a vest! Can't bear socks without shoes so go barefoot never walk around in just socks. Sometimes can 'feel' the socks so badly that I have to take them off. No-one can go near the bellybutton without a major meltdown. Its even in my doctors notes - problem when getting scans when pregnant - nearly knocked out the nurses as they slapped gel into it. Anyway, I have lots of memories to draw on from childhood but I believe that self-training and watching how others do things is a great way to get by. Does everyone else have coping mechanisms e.g. I have to pretend I am a spy when I am in a busy street so that I don't freak and run - you have to laugh...I still have imaginary friends as real ones are so difficult. I can't change my routines to go and visit them and they aren't allowed to come to me as I hate people dropping by. I have to 'build up to' social visits. Needless to say, friends drop off the radar rapidly as they get sick of my 'selfishness and laziness' (if only they knew). Also, why are people very affectionate. I am expected to hug my friends when I have to see them...its horrible. Never liked that much contact - I have learned to hug my children as its a good thing to do apparently. I actually enjoy hugging them now. My mother always plays down our quirks as children - I think she thinks we blame her or she may feel guilty but its not her fault. I wish she had my brother diagnosed though as he is still living with her and I think he could have been more independent with the right help - although when he was little it was a 'label' and not helpful.
