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robert7111a

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Posts posted by robert7111a

  2. Posted · Report reply

    I suppose you could go for the crossed legs approach, or the sideways position with raised leg/knee :devil::ph34r::D

     

    This works very well for women where she can look very sensual and confident without being pornographic. Crossed arms as well.

     

    I love being behind a camera but I'm afraid LancsLad, you're a bit far up the country for me...:)

  5. Posted · Report reply

    Actually that is not correct - acknowledging the difficulty the law actually reverses the burden of proof for discrimination claims, it is for the employer to prove a potentially fair reason (although this gets a bit more complex when there is less than the qualifying period). If the employer doesn't give a reasonable reason for dismissal the law will assume that the reason is the disability.

     

    If this is the case, then all the employer has to say is that the employee was not the right person for the job/did not fit in the ethos of the company/another employee made a complaint against him...the list goes on. The employer will always find "a reasonable reason" for dismissal. No employer these days would really be stupid enough to fire somebody on account of disability so they will always find another reason

     

    Now had Saraya's son been working for McDonalds for longer and had a written contract of employment, then everything changes and she has a better chance of bringing a case. But given this hypothetical situation, the issue could still prove difficult if her son failed to disclose something (i.e. his condition) as the employer could argue that he lied on the application form and obtained the job under false pretences.

  6. Posted · Report reply

    Robert7111a - I am a bit troubled at you saying people 'pull the race card' at your job.

     

    Matzoball

     

    I'm sorry you feel this way but I work in a large organisation with an excellent HR and have interviewed many people in my time. Unfortunately a few individuals (one even in my department) decided to go to tribunal because of some grievance and lost.

     

    I'm sorry if this comment has offended you but I'm afraid "pulling the race card" really does happen in the real world.

  7. Posted · Report reply

    I'm sorry, with respect, you are wrong

     

    There are many reasons why a person may be employed on probation and one of them is to see "if they fit in". Unfortunately your son does not have a leg to stand on in this case.

     

    Clearly his employer has decided that your son "does not fit in" for whatever reason (or the other reasons described) and they have every right to let him go - cruel as it is.

     

    Unfortunately you cannot pull the disability/race/or whatever/ card to pull him out of this.

  8. Posted · Report reply

    SmileyK

     

    It seems clear from what other people have said that collectively as a forum, we have given you loads of support and advice and we can do no more.

     

    It sounds like that your GP/medical team see you as a "difficult patient" (please...don't take this the wrong way!) - what I mean is that they just don't know what to do with you and thus push you from one professional to another. Clearly this is not helping you.

     

    Having been alluded to before, you need to show us what positive steps you are taking to help your situation. I went through 4 years of serious clinical depression and self harmed. But there is light at the end of the tunnel and I turned my life around.

     

    You can do this too

     

    You have to want to change and do something to dispel all this negativity that you've built up

     

    You sound like a very nice young person so please don't waste what life you have ahead of you

  9. Posted · Report reply

    Bed32

     

    The laws etc are heavily weighted in favour of the employer. As you say, the onus is on the employee to prove that he was dismissed on disability grounds. This is going to be difficult because:

     

    1) Your son did not disclose his AS at the time of interview or any time during his employment. His employer will use this in their defence

     

    2) He was on probation and therefore had no formal contract. This means his employer can fire him at any time for any reason

     

    3) One of the employees may have made a formal complaint against him regarding harrassment/sexual harrassment because he has been "too intense" as the OP puts it

     

    4) Your son may not have followed correct procedures or his timekeeping was brought into question

     

    5) Your son may have done something else that he isn't telling you

     

    You do have every right to write to his employer to demand reasons for dismissal but this does not mean that they will write back with a truthful answer.

     

    I see this every day in my profession where people pull the race card because they feel they have been treated unfairly but really, they have breached something or other where they know reprimand or dismissal is likely

     

    Is it really worth the aggro and expense of suing for the sake of 2 weeks employment?

     

    Sorry to be brash but just trying to be realistic... I have every sympathy for you but the world of employment today is very harsh and unforgiving

  14. Posted · Report reply

    its an easy way to save money. places like this will put pepole on "probation" and then send them on there way over and over again. its free labor.

     

    Yes this is sadly becoming the way of the world as employers' budgets are squeezed.

     

    Sorry to sound blunt but I think you will find it difficult to sue for unfair dismissal. Firstly, your son must have been in continuous employment for 1 year (i.e by McDonalds) with no break in service. Secondly he must have a written contract of employment. Read up on employment law and you will find that these 2 statements must be satisfied.

     

    Putting people on probation means that companies do not have to draw up contracts which is how they get through the loopholes

     

    I wish you all the very best of luck!

  15. Posted · Report reply

    LancsLad

     

    Your point about increasing tolerance levels through controlled exposure is absolutely right and yes, it does have to be in

    context.

     

    With your example however, there is no point in listening to a lorry's air brakes through an ipod because a) you are listening in quiet through headphones and B) the ipod is totally out of context. For this to work, the individual has (for example) to maybe stand somewhere within earshot of a motorway. Do this for about 5min/day and gradually increase exposure. This is only an example/suggestion and the individual needs to devise something that would work for him/her

     

    Noise annoyance however is not a function of AS but people with AS are more likely to find certain noises bothersome. We all have different levels of tolerance and often this decreases sharply when we are tired/stressed. Also the cause could be down to hyperacusis

     

    As LancLad rightly points out, exposure is the key to reducing annoyance and it is up to the individual how to go about exposing him/herself to the annoying sounds. This has to be frequent, controlled exposure so that the brain "learns" the sound. It is very tempting to wear earplugs to block out these annoying sounds but often, they only become louder and more bothersome when the earplugs are taken out

     

    Our ears are most sensitive between 3 - 6kHz. How we perceive and integrate sounds is down to a continuous feedback loop between the afferent and efferent nervous system between our ears and the brain. And of course, any hearing damage can cause the individual to be even more bothered by loud noise (this is called recruitment). Hearing aids amplify sounds but can filter out some frequencies. However they are not clever and if someone is speaking (at these frequencies), that person would only hear part of the speech as the hearing aid is filtering out the bothersome (but important!) frequencies for speech

  16. Posted · Report reply

    It said he was a good worker,and great with the customers and polite, but he was too intense with other members of staff, offering them lifts home and going through the drive through on his days off, thus making them feel uncomfortable.

     

    Hi Soraya

     

    Sorry to hear about your son

     

    Being only a probationary period, this is difficult and I suspect strongly that there are no grounds for unfair dismissal.

     

    Either there is another reason that McDonald's are not disclosing or one of the staff made a formal complaint regarding harassment or something to that effect

     

    Perhaps you could talk to him about it, fish for clues etc and hope he is forthcoming

  17. Posted · Report reply

    Excellent post Darkshine. I can really understand the traffic thing...I hate traffic noise and especially screeching brakes like on buses and ambulance sirens. I have to literally cover my ears! The problem with trying to concentrate in the presence of background noise is something called Auditory Processing Disorder which I think is very common in people on the spectrum. But yes, the noise is truly bothersome and reduces concentration when it matters. Personally I do not like noisy places (low level noise isn't too bad where you hear yourself speak) and try and avoid them at all costs. I get very worked up and stressed in loud places. Does this count as a sensory issue?

     

    I think LancsLad raises a good point about observing body language when in noisy situations in order to try and pick up what is going on But for me, this is difficult. I get accused of staring at people when really I am trying to observe their facial expressions - but even still, I find it difficult to learn body language.

  18. Posted · Report reply

    Brighton is only 50mins by train from London. Some parts of Essex (i.e. Clacton) are up to 2 hours away. And a Premier Inn in London is going to be more expensive than one outside of London.

     

    Some people may only be able to cope with a few hours at most let alone an overnight stay

  21. Posted · Report reply

    LancsLad.

     

    I can really see where you're coming from. If you are constantly trying to be "switched on" and act like a different person to what you really are, then yes, this really takes an awful lot of energy and a lot of maintainance to keep it all up. I was going to ask "how do you cope?" but then further down you said "I simply crash" which did make me chuckle.

     

    Every day, I have to put on a bit of a front to my work colleagues but generally try to be myself with my patients particularly as they are distressed and need my help But some require extra effort on a social level where I've had to learn very fast through observation which leaves me mentally drained at the end of the day. The job is generally high pressure.

     

    Sorry to hear about your tribunal. I guess it depends on what the other people are like which will guide how you act. Knowing the system is a good start so best of luck!

     

    Best wishes

  22. Posted · Report reply

    Dear ASD_Diagnosis_Project

     

    I applaud that you and others are doing research on this topic. How large is your study - i.e. what percent of the population have you surveyed? Who is your control group? What other sources have you based your research?

     

    Forgive me for being slightly skeptical because AS itself didn't make it into the DSM until 1994 and now it might be removed altogether from DSM-V which is in advanced preparation

     

    Don't get me wrong, the more research done the better. But will it be used and published in a peer reviewed journal?

  23. Posted · Report reply

    Well my wife loves me for what I am so something about my AS must be good. I'd hate to think what I would be like if I was still single. I have observed her interactions with others closely but as she is not the outgoing social type, I have improved my interactions with many people from my observations and certainly am better with theory of mind issues but I can't learn everything from her. And (for her), my AS is good in that she is not a pub or football widow as I'm certainly not one to go out with the lads on a Saturday night

     

    I suppose the good part of AS for me is that another important piece of the jigsaw has been found. But the bad bit for me is clearly the social aspect and the anxiety that goes with it. But I do wish to become better at this rather than camouflage it. And the motivation is there - it's just finding the right person to give me that confidence

  24. Posted · Report reply

    I suppose I have always tried to be myself. Since finding out I had many core traits of AS, I am still undecided whether its a cause for celebration or not. Although I feel better knowing the reason why I was different, do I really want to camouflage it and "pretend" I don't have it?

     

    I'm getting a bit of a mixed message here A-S Warrior because you start your original post somewhere as "having AS is seen as a gift" - now you want to camouflage it...?

  25. Posted · Report reply

    Yes LancsLad you make an excellent point about levels of motivation which didn't really occur to me. Some people are more motivated than others and I applaud A-S Warrior's enthusiasm to get us more motivated. He has a lot of drive. People have different goals in life and different ways of getting motivated. And yes, what motivates us is what we get at the end, even if we do have to appear fraudulent as you say.

     

    But where people are concerned, for me, confidence is a massive issue. And it is very easy for me to lose confidence. I was brought up feeling little self worth and always looking over my shoulder. Alluding to a current post on a different forum thread is that I need somebody to show me "the right way" who isn't going to judge me. The problem I have in groups is that I lack confidence and feel others are judging me. This in turn lowers my confidence even further and my anxiety gets the better of me

     

    Perhaps my self-esteem is not very good right now and I'm sounding like I'm pouring cold water over the issue.

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