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robert7111a

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Posts posted by robert7111a

  13. Posted · Report reply

    I'm on the fence with this one. I understand that some people find AS to be a gift whilst others see it as a disability - and certainly some get very angry about their condition

     

    Whilst I'm afraid I cannot agree with you A-S Warrior that it is a gift, I do agree that many AS sufferers are "gifted" with one or more talents. Personally, I find my AS to be wholly a frustration and a barrier to life because I do not have the ability to socialise and make friends. I used to yearn for friends but gave up in my 30s when no one would look at me. And of course then - I had never heard of AS. Like Darkshine, I cannot share things, I am very possessive with my things and know exactly where things are (usually...). I suppose in some ways, its a good thing I don't have friends because there is nobody to ask me to lend something. I like to pursue my hobby alone because I need to concentrate on the task in hand and other people around me would be a distraction. Often, I only get one chance to snap something. I would consider this to be a gift in the sense that I focus strongly and have dedication in my hobby but others might find it frustrating if I ignore them or feel they are a hindrance. A bit self-centred perhaps?

     

    While I admire your enthusiam A-S Warrior, I'm afraid I cannot be as enthusiastic. Why would I be enthusiastic about not being able to make friends? I would love somebody to go out with occasionally but guess I'm a bit late for that now. I only have one true friend and that is my wife who has stood by my oddities. But I am glad I discovered the condition and use what I learn to help me in my job (which involves talking and helping people day in, day out. I cannot avoid making eye-contact. Again, it's my job to look at people and I tell them how important it is to make eye contact when they are listening. So I can't help but look at people. At least I can get away with it in my job. I never really knew how to show empathy but it's also my job to show it and I would be out of a job if I didn't. So am I gifted in this respect?

     

    I certainly don't think I have any special talents. I used to be good at music when at school and have tried to self teach myself an instrument. But I can never finish anything, it's not like having a mental block, but rather coming up against a brick wall. I have a few musical compositions written years ago that I just cannot finish. I cannot co-ordinate my hands playing music so never really learnt an instrument properly. I suppose the only things I was ever good at was French and getting dirty looks from girls if I so much as glanced at them. I don't have supreme intelligence and certainly have difficulty learning most things unless I take a personal interest in the subject.

     

    I really enjoy your posts A-S Warrior, in many ways they are refreshing and make me think. But there are many angry/frustrated people on this forum. How do you motivate them? There is no point me being angry about not being diagnosed as a kid because the condition was virtually unheard of them. I suppose I was just so frustrated about not having a social life at school/college or a girlfriend. But I can certainly understand the anger and frustration shown on this forum when I read people's experiences from the "professionals" who are meant to be helping them (...not!). There certainly seems to be no support out there. I certainly will never fully understand the condition as it has so many "faces". I can't begin to understand how some suffers even get through the day. I suppose in many ways, it is related to depression. Once you are in that downward spiral, how do you get out?

     

    Having this forum is fantastic! I too am relatively new to this forum and just beginning to learn the flavours from its members. I belong to other (non-related) forums too and they are certainly good sounding boards. I am beginning to realise that there are many sensitive people on here (or many people with sensitive issues) and there will always be somebody who will be riled by this comment and that. But can't we all be grown-ups and have sensible debates without shooting people down in flames? There are many good people on here and I'm always interested to hear their views and learn.

     

    So as you like challenges A-S Warrior, I'm going to set you one. How does one join and attend a face-to-face support group without having the social skills to communicate and without feeling acute anxiety/panic attacks?

  14. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Ichigo Kurusaki

     

    A very interesting story but as I don't personally have SPD, I cannot speak from first-hand experience. But I picked up in Para 8 about the hearing side. This condition is called hyperacusis which is basically oversensitivity to loud sounds. I find if I'm stressed, overtired or been in a noisy place for too long, I get acoustic sensory overload and I just have to go and find a quiet room and either plug my ears or like you, put headphones on and listen to something quiet and calming. Usually though, I prefer complete silence. I am a professional with ears so know a thing or two...

     

    There are ways to treat hyperacusis. The main emphasis is retraining the brain in how it perceives and processes sound and this can include white noise or music therapy.

     

    Can't help with the rest I'm afraid...

  15. Posted · Report reply

    I was never diagnosed as the condition was almost unheard of/not understood when I was growing up and it does seem that many professionals are not interested or have too much on their caseload to be interested.

     

    SmileyK, can you not think of any positives in your life that you can focus on? If these "professionals" can't help you, have you looked to self-help? I went through 4 years not wanting to be alive but obviously, something must have worked as I wouldn't be here today.

     

    Even something simple like a hobby? Are you married/have children? What do they think?

  17. Posted · Report reply

    Depends. Does the person look approachable or are they engrossed in a book/on their mobile phone? Maybe try a little smalltalk and guage the other person's reaction. If they are interested, they will show it - conversely if they are not interested, don't bother. Start with an appropriate subject...perhaps the train is late/delayed...you could start by commenting on that.

  18. Posted · Report reply

    Indeed you are right LancsLad and my profession is no exception. Masses of M.Sc graduates coming through the system and nowhere to employ them.

     

    I thought internships were unpaid. Have I got this wrong? But yes, in any case, its a cheap way for employers to hire workers for next to nothing and with no contract; then just fire them and get somebody else.

     

    BTW I just noticed the original poster posted this 2 years ago...I just saw the recent date when the previous posters wrote in so hopefully, anewman is in employment now

  19. Posted · Report reply

    I forgot to add...I am not well educated, I failed miserably at school with rudimentary exams but did manage to get a couple of O/A levels a few years later.

     

    With interviews, it's not about answering the question correctly/incorrectly but how well you cope under pressure. If you don't know the answer, it's better to say "I don't know" or "can we come back to that one please?" then fumble your way through. It's about staying in control. If you crack under pressure in the interview, how will you cope with pressure in the job. Just a tip.

     

    There are many books out there about interview skills etc. Also, do some research on the company you are applying for. Think in advance what questions they might ask.

     

    As I said in my previous post...preparation is everything.

     

     

    not about answering the question

  20. Posted · Report reply

    Hi, just to add my take on this

     

    I'm the first to admit that I don't interview well either but whether that's down to having AS traits or not is anybody's guess. Many NT people don't interview well either.

     

    I think the bottom line is that most jobs require you to get along with people so at the risk of sounding a bit harsh, perhaps it might be a good idea to learn and brush up interview techniques. Of course, presentation is key and things like a warm handshake are all part of how you present yourself which employers look for.

     

    The problem these days (and no disrespect to you) is that most graduates "expect" to get the into their chosen career straight away where they have little or no work experience; in addition, degrees are so commonplace now, employers have to look for other qualities in prospective candidates. I see this in my own profession. Just because somebody has a degree does not mean they can do the job. Unfortunately the Government has created this culture of "get a degree...follow your talents...and there's a guaranteed job at the end of it for you. Sadly in the real world, this is not the case

     

    Social skills are important for just about any job and I don't think there is any getting away from this however, there are jobs well suited for Aspies (where working alone is part of the job description) - such as a train driver to give one example...google such jobs, there are many out there.

     

    I'm afraid you might just have to accept any job, do well in it and build up a good reputation for yourself. Many Aspies are well known for being honest, reliable and very good workers given the right environment. Also if you want to become a Psychologist, then I'm afraid social skills is a requirement. My profession means dealing with other people's problems daily so it was a wake-up call for me when I first started out.

     

    Sorry if this sounds a bit harsh but the world of work out there is like a sea of sharks.

     

    And...I think Remploy are making redundancies now...

     

    Good luck!

  23. Posted · Report reply

    I think you just have to take things as they are. Internet forums are full of good and bad ...people giving constructive views or just venting.

     

    I joined this forum to learn from other members. Admittingly I don't read every post, just the ones that interest me. Also I try not to be too personal about sensitive issues but I am not immune from making a faux pas now and again that might annoy someone

     

    Hope your day gets better too...

  24. Posted · Report reply

    Indeed, knowlege is powerful and knowing how the system works is king! It's good you can remain calm(ish) given your circumstances but do stand your ground and stand up for your rights. Half the people working the system don't know what they're doing and they have no empathy towards patients they muck around...they're just a number...

     

    Hope you get what you want (and deserve!)

  25. Posted · Report reply

    Sidious UK

     

    It is common practice in the NHS for an appointment to see a named consultant but end up seeing one of their team instead (i.e. a less senior doctor). Or the named consultant decides for some reason or another that he cannot do that particular clinic so either the clinic is cancelled or a less senior doctor stands in. Depending on which district you live in, it is common for appointments to "get lost in the system" The NHS is in a bit of a mess at the moment with a confused and less joined-up service for which only the Government are to blame for their incessant meddling.

     

    I only hope that this was not normal practice for your service and somebody will take you seriously. If you are new to this service, then a named consultant has to see you in the first instance. Have you heard of Consultant X and what his/her speciality is?

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