LancsLad, I am just blown away every time you post, your passion, knowledge and analysis is overwhelming and actually moves me. Regardless of my dissertation you allow me to step a little closer to my boys with your very open and descriptive writing. I agree with you that 'coping' is patronising. I truly feel my boys experience more of their environment than any NT could and I envy their ability to recognise the finest details of such. Like most NTs I walk in the 'taken-for-granted' environment, however, when out with them I am forced to think about what they may see, smell, hear, feel, worry about etc. I must be honest I do fail at this at times and get very annoyed with myself if I fail to prepare for something that in hind sight was so obvious, do you know what I mean by this? I have always felt it very important to meet the level my boys are on, and in actual fact both are extremely close to my dad because he instantly comes down to their level, in age, attitude and humour, to the point they think he is their peer.
I loved this paper as, like you say, it is very thought provoking. I agree our environment should be much simpler, however, this is the detrimental impacts of capitalism. It has pulsated through the very veins of our environment. We live in an environment structured by NTs for NTs to drive capitalist growth. It has been suggested by some academics that there is a need to return to much of the Roman and Greek architecture and this would aid in simplifying our urban surroundings for those with ASD, would you agree? I also read a paper yesterday that reflects on a place in France it think was called Gessin? Apparently the streets,( please forgive my ignorance here, I have only studied urban design in a very minimal level eg: Grid patterns, Mesopotamia etc), are designed in a bead-like fashion which creates a pattern individuals with ASDs would enjoy navigating purely because of the pattern. My only problem with this concept, and again forgive my ignorance I am certainly not trying to speak for or on behalf of ASD, is that if streets go wide then narrow despite the pattern does this in itself not create huge problems?
Global Revolutionary1, Hi, thank you for responding to the post. I agree with you to a certain degree that a bit of tough love is necessary. I do not treat my boys any differently from my other two kids (now 16 + 18). They still get chores, discipline etc just the same. However, I recognised a difference in my 8 year old by the time he was 8 months old and gained knowledge of Aspergers very early on. I instantly recognised my parenting would need to be altered so that I could make life as easy as I possibly could for him without being soft or wrapping him in cotton wool. I strongly believed he would be raised exactly the same as my eldest children as far as morals, discipline etc, however, it was me, not him, that had to change. For instance I soon realised that where I would normally have given my eldest 2 a ticking off in a particular tone or voice level or even at times from a different room, I couldn't do this with my son. I knew that to raise my voice would be a pointless exercise because the minute my voice was raised he switched off. I also recognised that I had to crouch to his height so that I could be at eye level with him holding his hand and speaking to him in a calm, but, stern manner whilst explaining the very fine details of why it was not ok to put jam in the sockets. I will try constatntly to encourage my boys to explore everything in life and to not be afraid. They at times hold back because of confidence issues, therefore, my 'tough love' is to push them beyond their fear barriers by giving them tons of confidence to believe they can get through the things that scare them with every new experience. For instance my 5 year old is yet to have a birthday party because he is so scared of what may happen. Therefore, I have pushed him to go to other parties and make a point of leaving him to fend for himself whilst there. Is this tough love? I don't know I believe it is my job to constantly encourage and help him face his fears in a gentle way. To do this successfully I need to consider all the consequences of what he may experience in the hour time scale he is within that party environment and be ready to congratulate him for confronting these and coming out the other end unscathed. Hopefully this will give him the life skills to understand his own strengths and to grow into a confident independent adult. Am I doing the right thing? I don't know, all I know is that ASD or NT this is my job.
I agree with the suggestion of time out spaces being built into the urban environment, this is one of the things I have already discussed with urban planners. My hope is that this dissertation will lead to a proposal to architects and planners.
Thank you so much for your response, I cannot thank all of you enough for becoming involved. I am finding it very difficult however, to establish a group meeting in this area, however, will keep trying.
