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  1. I'm 26, suffer with adhd, aspergers, depression and have severe social anxiety. In 2019 I left my ex wife with whom I had a daughter, the relationship was very toxic, she was very manipulative and controlling and having had counceling I now realise she was "gaslighting". I have always suffered with social anxiety but since being with my ex wife it has become a lot worse and makes it incredibly hard to build and maintain relationships including friends/family etc. I have recently entered a new relationship now I feel comfortable enough to move on, we're taking it very slowly and have been dating since november 2020. Yesterday I met her mum for the first time, but due to social anxiety I could barely engage in any conversation. I'm trying hard to be confident, be myself and not let social anxiety control and define me but I'm scared that it will ruin our relationship in the long term. This is obviously not what I want, I'm trying to help myself but need some guidance. Can anyone suggest anything I can try?
  2. Hi all, I have not been assessed to see if I have Aspergers or not but I believe I may have it based on discussions with my family about my behaviours, completing online Aspergers tests (I normally score around 40, whereas 28-31 indicates Aspergers) and by reading content online from others and noticing I do similar things that they have noted. To quickly summarise I Love: Working and collecting data Working alone Memorising phone numbers, bank card numbers, car number plates and dates of birth. Noticing patterns in things I find difficult: Social interactions Working with people -Building friendships To resume something after interruption Change of routine Making eye contact I noticed I: Find it difficult to know when it is my turn to speak on the phone Fixate on the small details rather than the whole picture and will constantly work at something until it is complete. Constantly talk around people I am comfortable with about what I want to talk about, not what they want to talk about. Randomly say quotes from movies or lyrics form songs and repeatedly say these quotes or lyrics out loud to people. Get anxious when forced to be around large groups of people. Find it hard to let go of things(for example if I shouted at on the phone by a customer in work, this will annoy me and I will keep thinking about it for many days) I am thinking that it would be best to get assessed as to whether I have Aspergers or not, even though I don't think it will make a great deal of change in my life, I would still like to have confirmation either way. Would any of you that have been diagnosed recommend it is the best thing to do? Or would it be better to just try to mask these behaviours as best as possible and get on with things as best I can? Would you also think any of the following below are possible Aspergers behaviours? I think of a word in my head and try to use "line combinations" to write the word in the fewest line combinations as possible. e.g. I will spell out the word "Ten" with nine lines/sticks When walking between destinations I will pick a random number of seconds e.g. 600 and I will count in my head to see if I can reach home before this target. If I am quicker than the target I will lower the amount of seconds as a challenge. When I am tracking a package I will check/refresh the tracking information at least 100 times per day to see if the package has moved. I will also do the same if I post on a forum. I will check the page around 100 times to see if someone has left a new comment. In my job (Help desk IT Analyst) I feel panic each time I have to answer a call and feel extreme relief when I finish a call. I will also have problems knowing when it is my turn to speak and will often talk over people. I will also try to talk to customers via instant messaging if possible rather than call them back. Thanks to anyone who takes time to read this and/or reply.
  3. Hi All, As the title states I am in a new relationship (around the 6 months mark now) and think I am with someone who suffers from Asperger’s. He is 56 and runs his own business in the animal care industry. I started working for him around 8 months ago and we got together 2 months after. There is a strain causing us problems which I will get to… I’m just wanting to know if a) he is an aspie and how do I deal with it to make the relationship work?! He is not diagnosed but shows the following traits: - When something bad happens he withdraws really bad. He blames himself for anything that goes wrong and goes on a sort of ‘guilt’ trip. - If everything is going right or something good happens then he wont leave me alone, constant text messages, asking me to stay etc…However when he’s down or something bad happens he doesn’t want to know that I am there for him - He gets obsessed by things. He’s obsessed with dogs n cats and so much so created a sanctuary for them (nothing wrong with that but he gets worried if one of the dogs or cats coughs once – I’m talking emergency vets the lot. We also had a rat problem and instead of getting rid of them he was feeding them fruit….yes feeding the rats). When he gets obsessed it becomes his life and all he can talk about. - If I hurt myself he will hurt me even more sometimes. I donated blood and was showing him my arm where I gave blood, it started to swell a little and all I said was ‘feel the swelling!’. He responded by harshly pushing down on the swelling and when I yelped he just looked at me with a smerk. I was also bitten by a dog on my arm, although he was attentive in making sure I was ok the day after he grabbed my arm till I shouted at him to stop. No emotion on his face and no apology. - Can’t get him to leave his home/workplace. He lives where he works and I have mentioned time and time again for us to get out and do something as a couple. The job is very demanding and tiring but he always makes an excuse to not leave. Now I’ve seen pictures of him doing something work related outside of his home/workplace but this was around 6 years ago so maybe he’s got worse in not wanting to break his routine as he’s got older? - If his routine is broken or something alters it then he breaks down. For example someone he works for him wanted time off during Christmas, he responded by shouting, getting upset, throwing his phone across the building and slamming the door shut behind him. An hour after he composed himself he acted like nothing happened. - Snaps in the most unusual situations. He was tired and attempting to put something in oven. He dropped a roll of tin foil and as a result he ripped the tin foil into a million one pieces and acted like he did nothing wrong. - Can’t eat anything different – nor can I cook for him. I feel this goes in the OCD category but when I stay we eat the same thing, literally. If I buy us something different to try he moans and we have to go the same takeaway and order the same meal we always have from there. If the order is wrong then he gets very agitated. I’ve offered every week to cook us something but he won’t allow it. - overheats during sex. He doesn’t just get a bit warm he sweats and feels as if he’s about boil alive!!! When I’ve googled I’ve heard It’s an aspie trait. It may only be 6 months but I am absolutely in love with this guy, he’s great to be around and I love to listen to his obsessions and way of thinking. However over the last month we’ve found out his parent is sadly on the decline and looking like his parent will pass away. I’ve never lost a parent so I can’t imagine the pain he’s going through. I’ve noticed he’s started to withdraw from the relationship and when he’s really down I’ll find him asleep on the kitchen table, when I ask him to come to bed he calls me a nag and tells me to leave him alone. When he eventually goes to bed it’s as if I’m not there. We still make love (although on the days something bad has happened I’m just another work colleague and I have to force a kiss out him) and talk but I feel he really couldn’t care less if I am there when work finishes or not as before he would love me to stay and made a point of coming to find me…even just for a kiss! I want to be there for him but not come across as a nag which I am being to him. What is the best way to deal with someone who has Aspergers? I feel at times we are so close but yet far away and when I try and get us close it’s like I’m being too needy. If anyone has a husband/partner like this then how do you deal with it? Any tips or guidance would be muchly appreciated. So sorry for the long post, I don’t want to loose this relationship just because I don’t know how to handle someone with aspergers. Also sorry for any spelling/grammer mistakes – I’m very word blind. Thank you.
  4. In relation to this thread. New user ALERT! I am diagnosed Asperger's (since October 1998). I had been thinking of a career for a long time and on March 4th 2003, I decided that the Army was my only route in to a well paid career, but had to withdraw due to a family matter. When I re-applied in April of the same year, I was rejected, but at first they did not tell me why. I eventually found out why in 2004 (diagnosed with Asperger's) and also discovered that the MoD and it's directorates had been using defamatory statements to describe my character without justification other than somebody's assumptions rather than fact. I fought with the MoD for the better part of 8 years, sending letters, involving 2 different MP's and finally deciding to make a subject access request (Section 7 of the Data Protection Act 1998) in which I found several documents in which I am described (amongst other things) as "mental", "retarded" and "unstable". I do not believe that the MoD or it's directorates have any right to make such outrageous claims particularly when they have no idea what Asperger's is nor have a qualified doctor that can make these claims. I am not saying I am as smart as Stephen Hawking here, dont misunderstand me, I am saying that I am smarter than they have led people to believe, and anyone here would know this. WHat I believe is that if you have Asperger's and are thinking of a military career in the UK, think again, you will likely face the same treatment I have and they will ignore what you say and use what you say against you in order to defame your character. In 2011, I took the MoD to the county courts for said smears against my name, I lost, but I got thier attention. They had a Barrister, I did not, so of course they won the case. I later took them to the High Courts in London, I lost that as well, but I have made them aware that not everyone will take such outrageous claims against them so readily. I have created an e-petition for the removal of the MoD's exemption under the Equality Act 2010 to prevent them abusing it anymore. They certainly abused it in my case and I am sure that they have in many others for no good reason other than wild, baseless, absurd assumptions as in the above. They were also exempt from the Disability Discrimination Act 1995, but that has been replaced with the Equality Act 2010, which also carries this same exemption. They know this and is why they use it to do these things and I feel it must be stopped. The Police for example are not exempt from this act and can be taken to a tribuneral for it, where as the MoD and its directorates cannot due to this outrage in law that I feel must be removed to prevent them harming anyones wellbeing. Please sign the petition if you agree with me. Thomas.
  5. Hi all! I am currently conducting my Master's dissertation on the University Experience for Students with Asperger's Syndrome If you have Asperger's syndrome and would be happy to participate in a 1 hour interview/discussion face-to-face, via phone or Skype to discuss your experiences then please get in touch with me on rg16833.2016@my.bristol.ac.uk. If you would like more information about the study then please do email me! Thank you! Rhian
  6. Hey everyone, I'm going to keep this as short as possible. I met an amazing man online 11 months ago and over a period of time we have both got very close to each other. He would tell me how much he likes me, needs me and no one else. As I would say to him As well. I am in love with him. When I found out he had AS, which was in the very early days, I didn't know much about it until he started to display behaviours of it i.e having the need to be in a routine, disappearing when life gets overwhelming. Since then I've learnt more about AS and how it is and ive accepted this. Recently, I found out he is still in the site which we met on and due to my own paranoia and insecurities I had a massive go at him and said things like he betrayed my trust and all of this has been a lie. I regret going about it this way and admit I should have just asked him about it. He's told me prior to this he would never do anything to hurt me or betray me and to not worry about it because "he chooses me". Since I sent him those messages confronting him he hasn't bothered to reply to any of my messages and I figure this is because all of this is too overwhelming for him and has decided to just close himself off from the rest of the world. I miss him so much and I want to make things right and okay again, I'm trying my hardest to give him the time and space he needs and told myself eventually he will come around and we will hopefully sort things out. We've never had a 'fallout' like this before and whenever he has his shut down modes it's because of other things like work, family, etc. Now I'm playing apart in it, I don't know what to do now. Sitting here waiting is driving me crazy I love him and the last thing I want is to lose him and I feel like I am! 😩😞
  7. This is a question which I have asked all of my support staff, but I haven't really been able to get a satisfactory answer for it. Namely why do so many of us (namely those who are on the more 'higher functioning' end of the spectrum, and thus are more aware of ourselves) 'look autistic'? When I say this, yes I am aware that ASD is not a physical condition, but raher a mental one, so thus (to cut a long story short) it does not effect ones outward appearance in itself. Rather I would like to know why so many Aspies and Auties look scruffy, are overweight, don't brush or comb their hair, wear ill fitting or dirty clothes, don't shave the appropriate areas of the body and (even when they are no longer teenagers) have spots or boils. I know that sometimes people aren't aware of what they look like, have little interest in looking like an NT, have sensory issues regarding things like razors or even are happy with the way they look regardless of how they may appear. But let me share with you all a little story... Some years ago I knew a girl (by the name of Becky) with AS, (who should now be in her early thirties) who was into all the kind of things a typical girl in he teenage years/early twenties would be into, but due to her AS, she was into them a lot more intensely (eg she would write her own fanfiction based on characters in music videos) as she had an obsession with Britney Spears (I think she even had a lesbian crush on her). However partly due to her being cooped up in, firstly a special school and then later a care home, she had become institutionalized. Thus she was sorely lacking in various skills. One day I asked her why she did not put more effort into her appearance (I did not use those words, rather I simply pointed out all the things I saw her carers do that she didn't). Her answer, as she knew I wasn't having a go at her, was "I never thought of it." So why don't more people (eg parents and care staff) point this out and tell them what to do bout it?
  8. Hi everyone! I'm Anne, I'm 17 years old and I have Aspergers, General Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome and depression. I very rarely leave the house anymore so I wanted to maybe make some online friends that understand my conditions. Trying to get people who haven't been through any of it is a nightmare! Anyway, I love helping people and I would love to make some new friends on here. I'm looking forward to getting to know some of you. Anne.
  9. Hi all, I’m new to this forum and joined because I wanted to communicate with - and possibly meet - women of a similar age to me (mid fifties) with Aspergers. I have a couple of male friends, who I can confide in, but no female friends, just a few colleagues and acquaintances. It would really be something for me to have a female friend I could trust and be myself with – something I think most women take for granted. I suppose I’m a typical Aspie: I love science, sci-fi and animals, and have, I've been told, ‘the social skills of a wombat’ (although that’s probably unfair to wombats). I’m in my mid-50s and pass as more or less normal, albeit as a shy, anxious type, but I am SO tired of trying to fit in, and beating myself up every time I commit a social faux-pas. Gxx
  10. First post, and looking for some helpful advice. I was first diagnosed with Aspergers at age 9, in 2008. I was diagnosed in a rather traumatic period of time, following a close bereavement, and have gone on to live a normal life. I gained good GCSE grades, and now at 17 board at a 6th form college, taking 4 strong A-levels, including a foreign language. I have a larger than average social-group, a long-term girlfriend, and hopes and plans for the future. The diagnosis I was given at age 9 has caused problems for me, to say the least. I feel that the diagnosis was wrong, as I no longer show any of the traits, if not the opposite of those commonly seen. I am considering trying to get re-diagnosed, or un-diagnosed, and wondered if that was the best route, or if there were others, and how I would go about them. Thanks!
  11. Every single night, I have trouble falling asleep and getting up. I was reading online and came across a description of ADHD and it fits me perfectly so independent of getting a diagnosis of that or not, I want to try and help myself anyway. I'm going to try a different sort of alarm in the mornings but that won't help if I still can't get to sleep. Anyway, fidget toys help me concentrate during the day and help me calm down but at night I am just lying there and my mind doesn't stop. I already sleep with soft toys but because of OCD, I don't like the fur messed up on them so I only stroke them and if I turn over (which is a definite), then I can't reach them. Would using a fidget toy in my hand help me fall asleep? If so, what sort would work best? I'm guessing not the sort I would use during the day. It also needs to be suitable that it won't break anything should I launch it during a restless night.
  12. Hi All Just thought id say hello. I am new to this forum - well any forum really so not quite sure what im doing. I have an 11 year old son with Aspergers, Autism, Dypraxia, Dylexia and ADHD. I just wanted to say hi for now. I do have aa few questions but ill ask them a bit later on
  13. Yesterday I had one of those moments when just everything about my life just suddenly made more sense. And it actually felt like a relief. With diagnosises of Asperger's and dyslexia but with difficulties that never really fitted properly under those headings and the general feeling I'm more towards the autism end rather than Asperger's end of the spectrum. There are lots of little bits that (until yesterday) were previously disconnected problems - I had trouble sleeping, I was continually late for morning acivities (no matter how hard I tried not to), I've always been hyperactive, needing to burn off huge amounts of energy, I can't sit still for long, I'm a definite fidget and all the way through school I was classed as a troubled child. Whilst searching on the internet for things to help with my sleep before I loose my job, I came across a website about adult ADHD that listed the exact sleep problems that I have been struggling to put into words, even right down to the 'can't shut my mind up'. From there I read through the rest of the descriptions. Aside from quite obviously I haven't been to the GP, it seemed to really make sense. Even the little things - my support worker has noticed that I fidget and has suggested deliberatly using something when I am stressed. I ordered a tangle hairy (and I love it) and was playing with it whilst playing a computer puzzle game at home. And straight away I noticed that I was consistantly getting better scores that I ever do normally. I know Asperger's/Autism and ADHD are linked but I now think maybe I have ASD, ADHD and dyslexia. Even though in a way its a bad thing, it feels like a relief that there may be an answer.
  14. So, I've been on the search for ear protectors because I struggle with auditory sensitivity. (whilst I'm sure loads of you, being on the autistic spectrum know of this, but I'm aware that everyone is different and not everybody will have this issue, thus some might not know - pretty much its the heightened sense of sound, everyday sounds bother you, for me, its loud/sudden/repetitive/close noise) Anyway, I've been looking for a long while, i want some that are pretty (because i'm fussy and sentimental) and i saw a news report with a thumbnail image (it was about protecting children's ears at noisy events) you can right click on the image and 'search google for this image' to see it, if youre interested - but, see, this is what i did to try and find the brand in the photo, because they look like they have a nice pretty range of styles. Here's the photo (the ones that the back, in packaging) it looks to me like the brand is 'safe and sound'? I cant find it, though. Maybe I'm not looking properly, i've never been great at research.. if anyone recognises the brand, please let me know! Or any other nice sound muting earmuffs! i know their quality is more important than their aesthetics, i'm not silly, so please be nice.
  15. hello, my name is ricky baker. and I am fifteen years old and I have a diagnosis of aspergers syndrome. I also suffer from a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, anxiety, and OCD. I have joined this forum in the chance of meeting other autistic people who I'm hoping may know how I feel. I am struggling very much on a daily basis in terms of my autism, and I am starting to loose all faith at the possible chance of recovery. I am extremely depressed, and incredibly lonely as I don't have any friends I can invite over or go and see.. all of my past school friends found my autism incredibly difficult to handle and stopped talking to me.. I used to get incredibly exhausted being around a lot of people, but nowadays I get exhausted from being alone all the time. as of today, I have been out of an education for almost two full years. I was bullied verbally and physically by teachers and pupils at my old school, and I had to leave as I could no longer deal with the bullying. I am very sad and lonely ;__; and I really just want a friend, as cheesy as it sounds. thank you everyone for reading. I am willing to post some more if I get some replies.
  16. Hey, So, I've always struggled with education environments. Like, school, for example. My brother and I both had 'school refusal' down on our records because the both of us only just got diagnosed ASD (i mean, c'mon. I get that I may've been missed because it's rare that girls get diagnosed in an instant, but my brother is 24!). Anyway, I'm in my second year at college now, which is a struggle but i do love it regardless. I'm staying for a third year because I want to achieve the same A-level grades as everyone else - (i did only 2 igcses and was homeschooled for 2 years before college so im a bit behind) After that, I'd really love to go to University, but im really worried about the issues i might face with it all - work load, responsibility, independence, and mostly - being away from home. of course, I can go to a (fairly) local (kind of) college, but its still a case of being sure I dont have an episode - that i dont waste my money because I have a meltdown and end up having crappy attendance! So, I guess, what im wondering is, Any Aspies been to Uni? What are/were your experiences? or, alternatively, are there any Universities speciffically for people on the spectrum? I know there's a school near where I live that is specially for girls with autism (the school from itv's 'Girls with Autism' Documentary - I went to a 'hospital school' with a girl who goes/went to it) - but i'd already finished school and become out of the age range by the time I knew about it - and by the time i knew i was autistic, even.
  17. Hello, I have been a Teacher Assistant for over 10 years, working with many children that have been diagnosed with autism. Over the years, I have designed many resources for my school, as they were very costly or didn't meet children's individual needs. Recently however, I have created an eBay shop to provide these resources cheaply to everyone. If anyone is interested or would like to ask any questions, please check out my eBay Shop... http://stores.ebay.co.uk/Kan-Do-Kids This is something that is very important to me, and something I'll be growing over the coming months. Please contact me, as I'm very interested in peoples suggestions and feedback. KanDoKids
  18. I'm in my second year of college, and i have been back since summer break for around a month now. Yet, I've failed to attend a continuous full week.Last year seemed so much easier. I have a lovely selection of tutors that im comfortable with, their support is so so helpful and my family support is just as brilliant. Why wont this meltdown period go away? I love learning so so much and I want to be in college so badly but it just makes me so anxious and theres something inside of me that makes me want to stay away. I honestly have no idea what it is - i was the same throughout my entire school experience. I want to be there, I love learning, i cant pinpoint the issue, so nobody can fix it to make it better. Has anyone else had this? does anyone know what i can do? Dont tell me to just push through and try to go because i'll 'be fine once i get there'. I already know that, i've tried it, i've heard it, It's not how it works for me. I dont even know what this post is asking of anyone, i'm just so stressed and upset and angry at myself. I have so much potential and i'm being stopped from using any of it because of my stupid anxiety.
  19. I am 36 years old, I have had problems socially for as long I can remember and depression and motivation problems. My parents took me to the GP who prescribed antidepressants when I was about 16 and I was sent to a psychiatrist who said I had social phobia. I was terrified about going to university and used alcohol to help social situations. I started using cannabis to relax and help me get to sleep. I had some friends and met my girlfriend there. I dropped out of my course as I was not interested in some of the modules and probably due to the alcohol and cannabis. I stopped the cannabis after about 5 years. I have had a few jobs but rapidly became bored with them and was sacked from my previous job for poor performance. I have stuck in jobs for a few years as I am worried whether the new job would be worse and find it very difficult getting to know new people. It took me a long time to adjust and it has been said to me that I hardly said anything for the first 6 months in a job. When I get to know people I try to be funny, but think I say inappropriate things sometimes and swear too much. A few years ago I was out of work and feeling very low and isolated after moving to a new area so saw a psychiatrist who said I had dysthymia (long term mild depression). I don't have any friends outside of work but get on OK with a couple of people at work. Some people at work say I am intelligent, but others think I am lazy and seem to be irritated by me. I am still on antidepressant tablets but am trying to reduce them. Recently I have become angry and feel bullied by my boss at work so I went to see a counsellor. I said I wanted to get to the bottom of why I have been on antidepressant tablets for so many years, and feel they have contributed to my weight gain and developing diabetes. I mentioned that I read about aspergers in an article and did the AQ test online and scored quite high (45/50). I was referred to a psychologist who said they couldn't give me an official diagnosis but would be better than an online test. They asked me about my background and history and then at the next appointment did the AQ test and the eyes emotion test. I scored in the normal range for the eyes test, but high for the AQ test. They said the results of the two tests were contradictory, but I have some aspects of aspergers that are causing problems. I am confused as it does not give me a clear answer and I don't know how reliable the AQ test is and was hoping for more in depth testing. I did some more reading online and found that there is some overlap with aspergers and ADHD and the difficulty concentrating and switching between things are things that I have problems with. I have lots of unfinished electronics projects at home and it is becoming full of bits and pieces. Trying to sort things out is becoming overwhelming. I spend hours on the internet each night, browsing the web and buying things on ebay. They offered to meet my boss to discuss. I really did not want this as I don't want them to know, as I feel they won't understand and I don't want special treatment or to be made fun of by work colleagues. Also I want to be certain before telling people. I wanted to understand for myself why I have problems and try to improve ways of dealing with things. I avoid doing things that make me uncomfortable, such as confrontational situations. I find myself getting more angry and frustrated as the blunting effect of the antidepressants is reducing, but have more energy to do things and feel closer to an explanation to some of the problems I have. I would appreciate some advice on whether the AQ test is adequate for diagnosis or whether it can give a false positive with other conditions such as ADHD, anxiety, depression, social phobia or personality disorder. Where should I go for a full diagnosis? Should I tell my boss? Thanks for reading.
  20. A question I often ask is 'Why am I so lucky?' Now I'm not trying to sound like arrogant person who looks down on those who've had a hard life (although I prefer not to hear such stories from people as it overload me with being upset) but all things considered compared to the stories that I have heard on this and other sites plus in real life and in books (about Autism) on the whole I've had an easy life. Consider this... When I was nine years old I was diagnosed with HFA, and then later AS after the condition became better known among professionals and teachers. This was I may add due to my (back then) violent outbursts towards other kids in school when I felt that they had cheesed me off or had broken the school rules, like some kind of superhero would with criminals. When I was ten I went to an Autistic school which at the time I hated due to the abundance of LFA kids there, however I do have fund memories of the trips my class (I was in when became the AS class) would make to museums, stately homes, the library, the cafes, nature trails and best of all Summer Camp. All things considered I was a lot better off there in my early teenage years than in a so called 'normal' school as I (and others) weren't picked on and would learn in a relatively stress free environment. Later I went to a school for kids who had been in hospital for a long time, were in Special Ed or quite a few other reason that I can't think of right now. There we did mainstream school work and exams. However the school was quite small so we only attended half of the day, and so many of us would (with the consent of our parents) study subjects of interest rather than the whole curriculum, all spread out over the week, while some of the rest was done as part of our homework. Later when I was sixteen I left home (of my own choice) and went to a group home down south for a number of years, before moving on. I would have left earlier if I could but the sad truth was that was all lacked the kind of opportunities such as supported living and outreach support (rather than care) at that time, so I told myself that it was 'better than nothing'. When I left I went to a rest-bite unit for a while until they could find somewhere more permanent, which they did. As it stands I was an only child, come from a loving home where my dad earned quite a large wage before retiring and you could say I had the perfect childhood. I have known other people who's home situations were very much the same (ie loving family and lots of money) but they had been sent to mainstream schools (in some cases even after being diagnosed) where they got bullied or when they became adults had no support, barring family. I also read that it is a lot harder to get diagnosed with ASD or AS when you are an adult (or sometimes with children) nowadays, partly I think this is due to some people cheating the benefit system and so they had to make it harder for them to get 'free money' (which is what benefits are when you boil it down) or other kinds of special treatment. So why am I so lucky, while others in the exact same situation as me aren't .
  21. How much of you is ASD and of you much of is you upbringing, possible internationalization or your own personality? Consider this... I knew a man in his mid thirties has got AS likes to play video games on his X-Box One. All is well and good, however he spends all day in his room, doesn't tidy up after himself, hardly speaks to anyone and tries to act like a 'badass' (from one of his fave games) which sadly makes him look like a dickhead, if you pardon me saying so. He also hardly washes, sees women as sex objects (as in living sex dolls, not just people who only exist to have sex with) fancy's Japanese school girls (not just the henti mind, I'm talking about photos and videos of real people) At present (to the best of my knowledge) he still attends a day center (I've long since stopped attending) for those who are lower functioning, which he started going to when he was 17 or 18. Please bear in mind that this is someone with more or less the same kind of AS as Bill Gates, attending a day center (granted he could have been forced to go by his mum, but he could get himself a flat with the benefits he's on) Also I might add that he spends all day sitting at his X-Box in a little room (which was where the phones used to be kept) where he is separate from everyone else and has taken it over as his own 'work space'. If he is traveling in a car with someone he will insist on the staff flipping a coin to see who goes in the front seat. Also he was VERY spoiled as a boy as his mum saw him as 'special' due to his conditions (he has epilepsy as well as AS) and be very controlling towards his 'friends'. The main question I am asking is this... How much of Autism is pure Autism and how much of it due to the differences in treatment which sometimes happen when a kid get diagnosed? Or indeed how much of it is due to spending much of your adult life 'cut off' from the outside world (be it in care homes and day centres) I'll put out some more info about Phil (that is his name) when I get the time.
  22. Yesterday, when surfing YouTube I found a video with a man who was diagnosed with Autism when he was a toddler. He claimed that his mother was told that he would never live independently and at best only speak a few words. However his mum refused to believe that he would be unable to live a normal life, and so put in in mainstream school, which I will add was in the early 1980s. Now he is a CEO and has written a book called Am I Still Autistic? This made me wonder about my own diagnoses's as a child in the early to mid 1990s. Back then I was diagnosed with what was then called 'High Functioning Autism', as back then I used to have a hot temper (when things didn't go my way) have wild flights of fancy (more on that later) and when I was about two or three I stopped talking, only to begin again (slowly over time) when I was about four or five, although I was still fully aware of my surroundings, albeit as best a toddler can be at that age. I also had issues with being touched and the all time classic, clothing tags (thus I would often play in the nude) although this later disappeared when I was six years old. Thus I was sent to an 'Autistic school' which although I hated as there were so many Classic Autistic pupils there, thus the funds and attention was put (for the most part) on them, however I made a number of close friends (both among the staff and the higher functioning pupils) there and so have one or two fond memories of my time there, if only for the people rather than what went on there (barring perhaps the year we went to summer camp, which was wonderful, but that's another story). One teacher, or maybe in was one of the care staff (I don't know which) wrote in my yearly report that I may have been misdiagnosed and that I may have Aspergers Syndrome. Thus, I was briefly reassessed, and although I remember little of what happened regarding this, I still remember to this day being told that I in fact had AS not HFA, which I must confess made me feel a little important. Since those heady days it would seem that I have outgrown many of my original traits, firstly I can talk (although that said I could at the time I was diagnosed) secondly I don't run about in the nude (it still had an appeal for me for quite some time until my late teens) thirdly I don't have anywhere near as short the temper I had back when I was a kid. Lastly I don't confuse fact with fiction the way I did when I was a kid (although I do often consider a great many situations, which while they are possible, don't often happen) as back then I used to tell tall tales about my adventures and come up with madcap plans (like most small boys do) but, I would also believe that they happened and that they would work. Granted this could be put down to growing up, but I have seen a number of other ASD adults, who haven't matured at all! And I don't mean those with 'classic' Autism. Please do not think that I believe that Autism, can just 'disappear' for as far as I'm aware, it doesn't. What I am asking is, have any of you out there, outgrown your 'original' traits? Or if you were diagnosed earlier in life would you have a more 'severe' diagnoses's? Or even if you were taken up for assessment now, would you even be diagnosed now?
  23. Is there anyone from Liverpool or anywhere else in Mersyside here on this site? Anyone? Just wondering...
  24. Hi, and thanks for reading. I hope that it is OK to post this here! I am looking for fathers of adults with Asperger's Syndrome or High Functioning Autism, who would be interested in taking part in research around their experiences of parenting. I am interviewing fathers of adults (18+), whose adult children are living with them. If anyone would like further information about participating in this research, please contact me by email on : e.mackey@herts.ac.uk I am based in Hertfordshire, so I'm ideally looking for people within an hours or so drive. This research has ethical approval from the University of Hertfordshire Ethics Committee. The protocol number is LMS/PG/UH/00247. Many thanks, Ellen Mackey Trainee Clinical Psychologist University of Hertfordshire e.mackey@herts.ac.uk
  25. Hi, Just wondered if anyone else is watching this award winning Australian (ABC) drama, I believe it airs on BBC 4 in the UK. The main character, Jesse Banks (Ashley Zukerman) is portrayed as having Asperger's Syndrome and the portrayal is pretty good, apparently Zukerman attended AS support groups to prepare for the role. I found myself identifying with the character and many of his traits. Would like to hear others opinions on the show. :-)
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