djkacy

Hiya, This is my first ever post on any forum as we have only recently had a provisional diagnosis my the doctors who r only just sending a questionnaire to school so we r in very early stages of diagnosis so a lot of the lingo u r using is going over my head lol! It's a very long story but basically my son is 10 (yr 5) he is very well behaved at home in general to the extreme that we only went to the doctors in September with the poss of autism (aspergers) he has always been different, he likes music and dancing and needs our attention all the time, gets upset when unstructured/routine things happen, NEVER has friends as he alienates them as he's very bossy and controlling his last school I was in and out every week because they said he was naughty and vindictive and they were concerned with how he played with younger children all the time and believed it was so he could control him anyway long story short we had been trying for no connected reason whatsoever to get him into a music school (this is still a state school) only its set inside a secondary school with only 40 children years 3,4,5,6 so just 2 classes with 20 mixed year kids in, my son is in year 5 of the mixed 5/6. We had to audition to get into the school and he failed twice so 3rd time lucky (3 yrs of trying) he got in hence being year 5, I genuinely believed starting a new school where the children had similar interests etc would be a brand new start for him and all our troubles would be in the past (obviously still not knowing about the asd) anyway the school is 45 mins away so I paid for a school bus for the entire school year as this was always the intention, on day 6, he got off the bus with a huge black eye I was horrified, the story then came out that my son had approached a year 11 student aggressively because they were tormenting his friend, he then attempted to hit him so was pushed off and hit his eye on the bar on the bus, my son was then banned from the bus for a week, when he was allowed back on he had a key which was given to him for emergencies for his grandads house but as it was new and important he had it out on the bus and was tapping it which was annoying other passengers so a girl that's 2 years younger than him snatched it off him and wouldn't give it back, he got increasingly more frustrated and annoyed and got her round the throat to force her to give it him back, unfortunately this girl has a sister a year older than her but still a year older than my son and they told there Agents and my son was banned for the rest of the term (I totally understand this as I was mortified my son could do this to a girl and that's younger than him and if I was her parent I would also be complaining) .... The problem I have is that the parents have requested my son does not go anywhere near them AT ALL which means if they are talking to someone he wants to talk to he has to wait until they have finished and come away before he can approach that person!! ... I was really unhappy about this and called it rediculous the school said it was extreme but not rediculous and claimed the sisters are petrified of my son and are having night tremors and crying because they don't want to go to school, I therefore accepted this and encouraged my son to stay away from them, I talked every morning and evening with him b4 and after school to make sure he thought about it etc, he often reported to me they were still approaching him and taunting him that he wasn't allowed near them or they would tell their mum and called him names to try to anger him etc etc until one day my son was witnessed saying something to her he says he was warning her she was making him angry she says he said was going to kill her (no phsical act took place just words and no one over heard so no witness as to what was said) my son was excluded for the day!!!!! ... Mainly because he hadn't stayed away like was instructed! .... (at this point I'm still unaware of his asd so I kind of had to accept that his behaviour was unacceptable even though I thought harsh punishment) ... Then we had the provisional diagnosis which I applaud the school for all the measures they have put in place as they only have what I have told them the doctors have said and haven't even received the paediatricians questionnaire yet! They have got him a councellor, referred him to camhs which I have a date in may, we have been seeing a psych at school and working on an iep (or whatever it's called lol!) he has a t/a to greet him at the beginning of school literally for 10 mins the reason for this is to put him in the right frame of mind for class time so he starts the day happy instead of anxious, ... So I'm sure many of you will be thinking the school have been very good getting all this In place without anything on paper from the docs and I agree 100% he also went on a 3 night residential trip with school a few weeks ago and was reported as being SUPER! I've not had any phone calls at all since his exclusion and his behaviour has been reported as he's doing much better and seems to be really making. The effort, .... However .... On Tuesday an incident happened where he had set up a game in the corner of the playground where he had cornered the are with cones and had some fellow students joining in (which is an achievement on its own) he was happily playing with them and them with he, he thehad to go and fetch something to do with the game from another area of the playground he had been gone all of 2 minutes and when he returned the sisters he is not allowed to go near were inside his coned area talking to the children he was along with, my son saw red and shouted they could not be there as it was his are and his game and not allowed near them, they wouldnt move so he pushed the younger child (she did not stumble or fall over or have any marks it was purely a push and he stamped his feet a lot by all accounts) anyway after school the girls told their mum and she confronted my son outside school and frightened him half to death as grandmas was picking him up this day and was slightly late, he was up in the night shaking with fear and crying and every morning since has been on his guard looking for her car when I dr him off!! The girls normally get the bus that I mentioned before so I very rarely see this mum in question so I went to school first thing wed morning and reported this they said they would look into the incident which they did and what I've said above is what they reported back to me as happeneing so they decided to isolate my son for the day as punishment for pushing her and they openly said if it had been another child and not one of these sisters that the punishment would have been different!! ... So it only do I have the battle of his asd but also the fact that it appears the parents of these sisters will not stop until my son is out of the school and I feel I have no leg to stand on .... I pleaded with school not to isolate him saying he is well behaved in class and isn't even with the girls as they are in the other class 3/4 he's in 5/6 and that could they not appropriately punish him by him missing lunch break which is when the incident occurs but they said he needs to see how serious it is and that just because he's been well behaved for a while and stayed away from them that he cannot slip back like this plus they didn't do the isolation til Friday when the incident happened on Tuesday which has added to his anxiety and they have said will speak to the mum next week at some point!!!! I guess I probably have a lot of questions but I think one of my main ones really is just what would you do in this situation? Or do you have any advise of who I could speak to and where I can go for support? Or if indeed you think school have handled it correctly and I'm being over sensitive lol! ... I appreciate any advise good or bad at all because like I said at the beginning I am brand new to all this and do not really know a great deal, Thanks for listening to my rambling I think that alone has helped lol! K xxx