Pollyanna

Thanks for all the advice everyone and massive hugs to you Sharn Shnoing - its mainy my younger 2 that compete for my attention, esp when I am trying to avert or deal with one of N's meltdowns. They are like moths to a flame. Wich usually results in a three way stand off! I've noticed when I am trying to discapline one of my younger 2 N will very often intervine (by way of pinching, hitting) esp if they are not listening to me. Almost as though he thinks it his role. So its like he knows what they were doing was wrong yet it isnt when he does it? does that make sense? The last few days ave been a bit up and down, really good followed by explosive episodes. He isnt on any medication and I am reluctant to go down that route at the moment. Apart from the fact I have no idea how I would get him to take it! It was his birthday this week so I expected it to be a tough one, lots of excitement, new toys etc I did win a small battle yesterday after he threw one of his toys and tipped out a box of toy cars. I removed his new DSi and made it clear that untill he picked everything up he would not get it back. After a 10 min screaming fit he did it! I did have to lock all the doors as he will grab random items and throw them into the neighbours garden when in that state of mind. Doenst matter what it is, he has thrown Ds's, Video camera's, cups, toys etc And then at the end of the day he played beautifully with his little sister for about 30 mins! Granted they were pretending to be his favorite characters (mario, sonic!) but it was wonderful to see, just wish it happened more often. Sorry waffled on there a bit!

Thanks for the replys We have been signed off by the Local Ed Pshyc as he is now under the in house one at his school (which I cant get hold of due to the holidays!) I have no access to respite from N though my Mum will take the other two out as and when she can. Sadly she isnt confident enough (her words) to take N (he is a flight risk!) Their Father visits every three weeks, he lives over 3 hours drive away in single accomodation (work digs) so cant have them with him. I can see how they are all competing for my attention and it does upset me. I try to find things for us all to do together (not an easy task!)

My first post and its straight in at the deep end! A bit of background for you as Im new here might help so........... I am a single mum to 3 children, 7 yo with asd (dx 2 years ago) 5 yo NT daughter and 3 1/2 yo son with asd traits (no dx as yet) My poor daughter really is piggy in the middle bless her. At te moment we are struggling with my eldests aggression. I can see what most of the triggers are (mainly not getting what he wants/people not doing what he wants/things not working like they should and sometimes there just seems to be no trigger) My daughter knows her brothers ways but obviously if she doesnt want to play with him she shouldnt have to. This will result in him hitting/pinching/biting/scratching and most recently spitting at her. When I intervene I get the same abuse. No matter what I try he becomes fixated on attacking her. Its heart breaking to see her so scared of him. My youngest has also started to copy his brother now which makes handling the situation twice as hard esp being on my own. He wont go to his room to cool down etc it just fizzles out eventually and its like it never happened. But I find myself becomming a human shield whilst the red mist has decended. I've removed his favorite toys, treats, privilages and tried reward charts but he doesnt care. Ive sat and talked to im about it (not easy as he struggles with communication/understanding etc) used social stories, pec's and he just replies with "I like hitting" or "I want to spit" What can I do? The holidays are fast becomming unbareable as not one day goes by without one of these incidents (though they vary on severity) Thanks

Hello Im a newbie to the forum, so thought I had best indroduce myself. Im a soon to be 36 year old single mum to 3 little terrors. We live on the Shropshire/Staffordshire boarder in a small village. My edlest son is 7 and has had a dx of ASD for just over 2 years now, I also have a 5 year old NT daughter and 3 1/2 year old son who has ASD traits but as yet not dx'd. As you can imagine life is never dull or boring in this house!