oxgirl
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Posts posted by oxgirl
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In our local specialist unit none of the TA's have had any training in ASD so I suppose if they have seen this response work with another child in the unit than they think it is OK to use it.I think you need to speak to the senco and head about training and how the TA are affecting your child.
Jen
Yes, that's it exactly, I think. Apparently, she uses this 'technique' with other kids in the Unit, who might respond to it but for my lad it is the exact opposite of what is required. One method fits all in their opinion. Which is why I get so frustrated when they don't listen to the expert, i.e. ME!
Cheers.
~ Mel ~
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Speaking as a TA, and an ASD/SEN specialist, this TA wants shooting! Are the teaching staff aware that this approach was used? If not they ought to be and whats more the TA needs to be told, VERY CLEARLY, that this sort of 'encouragement' is totally counter-productive. As you say all it did was give him something else to worry about other than his work...and that was already causing him concern!Thanks for that, would you like a new job at my Unit??!!
I have spoken to the Unit Head before about this particular TA but nothing is done, they don't want to hear any criticism of their staff. It's like the TA's run the show there, they've been there for years and they do as they like. I'm just hoping he gets a different one next year!!
~ Mel ~
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Mel, thats sounds really mean to me....you can't be threatening to withhold snacks from children to try and force them to do work...whatever next
How would the TA respond if you went in and said "if you threaten my child again I will ................(please fill in your own appropriate punishment 
) Maybe she'd then find it difficult to concentrate eh 
Hehehehe, well, it is tempting.
Trouble is I'm sick of telling these people. They'd just moan about me behind my back and carry on as they are!! 
Cheers anyways!
~ Mel ~
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Aw, that's fantastic, well done to him!!
Shame about the location though, typical isn't it!!
~ Mel ~
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I think this is laughable!! I mean, are they actually saying that no child has ever broken any nursery property before, or do they present bills to parents for every broken toy or paint chip or paint stain! They're being ridiculous! I hope they come to their senses and don't make you feel uncomfortable about this, but I certainly wouldn't pay!
Good luck!
~ Mel ~
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remeber TAs have no specific training in teaching at all - only what has been supplied by the school - so enquire...ask them what training courses they have been on. use current literature to show them effective stratgies (make careful note of the words i am using) i recomend: Asperger Syndrome and Difficult Moments: Practical Solutions for Tantrums, Rage and Meltdowns
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1931282...ce&n=266239
try copying the charts of good teacher behaviour and unhelpful behavior...
Thanks for that advice. It just seems like whatever I give them to read or whatever I say to them they just smile sweetly and completely ignore it. I've given 'Why Does Chris Do This' book to teachers to read before now and I'm sure they don't even bother to read it or pass it on to TAs at all.
~ Mel ~
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I think DD7 school is now allergic to me didn't you know that no common sense or compassion is now the job criteria for TA's Ah, that explains a lot. In that case, many of the TA's I've encountered over the years were obviously born for the job!
~ Mel ~
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Because they think they know everything!! And us parent's know SFA!!
Hahaha, ah yeah, that must be it!!
I think I'm allergic to TA's, they seem to have so much power and so little common sense sometimes
~ Mel ~
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I get so frustrated sometimes with the TA's in the ASD Unit where my son J (12/AS) attends part-time. They never seem to listen to me or my advice.
Today he had to do some maths problems and one TA threatened that if he didn't get them done in time he wouldn't be allowed to have his snack! I've told them time and time before that he doesn't respond well to threats like this and that they throw him into a total panic and he doesn't cope under pressure, but they just carry on in their own sweet way!
Of course, he was in such a panic he spent ages crying and fussing and worrying about not being able to have his snack, so much so that he couldn't concentrate on the work at all!
That's totally the wrong approach to take with him. Why won't they listen to me!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~ Mel ~
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Yes, Bagpuss, I totally understand how you feel, it's so hard to see them in these situations isn't it. I remember going to Xmas plays and all the kiddies would be dressed as shepherds and singing away and my J would be at the back in his uniform on some TA's lap staring into space and I'd have to sit and smile through it, it used to break me up inside.
It's good that your daughter was able to enjoy some of the sports, maybe next year she'll know a bit more what to expect and will be able to enjoy a bit more. It's very hard for you, though, having to watch her struggle, I know that
<'> Take care.
~ Mel ~
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Oh Viper, that makes me so angry for you, what an unfeeling and ill-informed woman!! Some people just don't understand home education or our reasons for wanting to do it, do they?? I HE'd for two years and there were many who thought they had the right to tell me straight I was doing the wrong thing for my son. You KNOW you are doing the right thing, and if this person doesn't understand then she should keep her opinions to herself
Don't let her get to you, just dismiss her as the ignorant person she is. Shame on her, she should know better!
~ Mel ~
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......Met up today with a friend for a cuppa...she asked how I was; was on the tip of my tongue to say 'fine' like you usually do even though you're not....when I felt no, I'm gonna tell it like it really is..Had a few awful days with the sprogs, On Friday, son 9 ASD jumped out of the car before I'd finished parking....ran across the road... and jumped onto the newly layed concrete where his dad is doing some building work....dad went ballistic at him over the concrete; I was more concerned about him charging across the road without looking out for cars....then my little girl got into my bedroom last night while I was at work and squirted her dad's contact lens solutions up her bedroom wall....son last night was sent to bed early for climbing up the fridge and swinging on the cupbaord doors above....again dad explodes...and I was explaining all this and a few more things that have been going wrong...when she said that her girls were being really naughty, answering back and not tidying up their bedrooms
not quite the same thing....next time I might just stick to 'fine'........Yes, I know exactly what you mean, people just don't 'get it' at all do they. I've spent ages talking to my sister about stuff and just when I think she finally understands she goes and says something so stupid that it makes me wonder why I bothered. It's really hard just to smile and say "fine" sometimes isn't it. I just feel like bursting at the moment, I'm just waiting for some kindly soul to ask me how I am and I think I'll explode and give them such an earful they won't ask again!!
Take care. WE understand
<'> ~ Mel ~
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What are the symptoms of hyperthyroidism? Over activeBeing restless, nervous, emotional, irritable, sleeping poorly, and 'always on the go'.
Tremor of the hands.
Losing weight despite an increased appetite.
Palpitations.
Sweating and a dislike of heat.
Diarrhoea or needing to go to the toilet to pass stools (faeces) more often than normal.
Shortness of breath.
Skin problems such as hair thinning and itch.
Menstrual changes - often the periods become very light or infrequent.
Increased thirst.
Tiredness and muscle weakness may be a feature.
A swelling of the thyroid gland in the neck (goitre) may occur.
Eye problems (if you have Graves' disease. See below.)
What are the symptoms of hypothyroidism? under active
Many symptoms can be caused by a low level of thyroxine. Basically, everything 'slows down'. Not all symptoms develop in all cases.
Symptoms that commonly occur include: tiredness, weight gain, constipation, aches and pains, feeling cold, dry skin, lifeless hair, fluid retention, mental slowing, and depression.
Less common symptoms include: a hoarse voice, irregular or heavy menstrual periods in women, infertility, carpal tunnel syndrome (which causes pains and numbness in the hand), and memory loss or confusion in the elderly.
If you have angina, you may find that your angina pains become more frequent.
However, all these symptoms can be caused by other conditions, and sometimes the diagnosis is not obvious. Symptoms usually develop slowly, and gradually become worse over months or years as the level of thyroxine in the body gradually falls.
(*gulp*)
Thanks a lot for that. How come I seem to have most of both of those, I can't be over and under at the same time can I??!! Trouble is so many of the symptoms can be brushed off as something else, can't they. Better get me down to that doctor I think! Thanks again.
~ Mel ~
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I've been tired, weak, sluggish, nervy,and over anxious for months, just putting it down to stress.Yesterday my GP decided to do a blood test. He rang me up today to tell me the first results are back and I have an OVER active thyroid!!! If it had come back under active I wouldn't have been surprised because I've gained a bit of weight over the past year or so.
But apparently 10% of people with over active thyroid gain weight rather than the usual loss of weight; this is because they have no muscle energy, increased appetite and poor muscle metabolism, even though the nervous energy stops them from sleeping etc. I just had to be one of them didn't I???
The good news is that once they get the thyroxine to it's correct levels my muscles will start working properly again, my appetite will go back to normal and I'll have more energy so that I should naturally lose the weight I've gained...
This is all such a relief to me because I've got the most horrendous shakes and trembles and have been really over emotional and hysterical
Now I know why Lauren
That's interesting! I've been terribly hysterical lately and just put it down to depression and stress and I've been getting all shaky as well the last few weeks!! Are they the only symptoms??
~ Mel ~
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job ...
~ Mel ~
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hi just wondering wether any of your asd children suffer with conduct disorders or emotional difficulties. my 6 year old has asd,adhd,sid,dyspraxia. second son 5 has many autistic behaviours like hand stimming,flapping,lining up, no eye contact etc. the pead says he is so complex she needs to investigate further. he shows sign of oppositional defiant disorder and hellers syndrome as he is in complete regression i.e lost all bowel control. they are more concerned with emotional state rather than his obvious asd symptoms. just wondered wether emotional behavioural difficultied is linked to asd. thanks, alexWhen my lad (12/AS) was at primary school, even though he had a dx of Asperger's, the wording on his statement was that in view of his 'emotional and behavioural difficulties', etc. etc. The school considered that his disruptive behaviour and all the rest was due to EBD despite the AS dx, if you see what I mean. Whereas I felt the EBD were BECAUSE of his AS and his inability to cope in the school environment. I'm not sure if they're separate or part and parcel of the same thing!
~ Mel ~
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My son whoes 12 now has had many phobias over the years some lasted days others months even years.Unfortuanlty as quick as one vanished hed replace it with another............My son has a phobia of toilet paper its a nightmare.
In the past he hated noises and traffic and would scream blue murder.Like you id to just keep trying and gradually although it took years he learnt to cope and adjust.He also hated stepping from gravel to grass or tarmac to gravel virtualy any surface change and hed freak.That went on for years too and all his phobias had very very complicated rituals surrounding them.I thought it would never end. Please take comfort in the fact that as my son maybe others too have got older they can adjust and find ways of copeing.Plus my son who is very verbal can now explaine what it is he hates about something youd be surprised what they come out with.
What i mean is he might not be scared of the whole level crossing but it might be ssay the barrier,or the lights maybe the track,or sounds.............. Same with the dogs,could be the teeth,colour noise something tiny about these things that he sees but we dont coz we just think oh there scared of the crossing or the dog.
Hope ive helped probably aint ive just rambled on.
Take care
Thanks for that Paula. Yes, they're funny aren't they, my son sounds similar to yours. He used to be terrified of bins, he'd go mental if we tried to put anything in a bin, even if he was in another room if he heard the lid of the bin go he'd come running in freaking out about it. We had piles and piles of yogurt pots that we couldn't throw away in his presence, it was weird!!
Like you say, once he's got over one he soon replaces it with something new. Aw well, we'll just have to ride out this storm I think!
Cheers.
~ Mel ~
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Just wondering (as you do) but who ultimately suggests special school / unit?I've asked once but was told ds was 'too bright'.
He struggled so much with changing schools in January (on recommendation of the LEA asd liasion after an exclusion in December) that I'm loathe to subject him to more change (and school are hopefully about to apply for a statement) but I'm just interested in case things get worse.
Does it come from the parents or when (if?) he's assessed for a statement would the possibility be put to us then? I really want advice from someone professional as to what's best for G but they either say he's not suitable (bright) or sit on a fence. Or will it be put to us if school actually decide they can't cope?
Sorry - I'm terrible for worrying before things happen!
Hi jlp, I can only tell you what happened in my son's case really, he is 12 now/AS. Is your son in primary school, it's just that I know how it kind of works for secondary placements.
My son was in mainstream with full-time support but it never worked from the start really. The 'professionals' however kept advising us to 'struggle on for another term', etc. etc. and that it would be best if he could stay where he was. Anyway, long story short, after year four we'd had enough, it wasn't getting any better and we weren't being offered any alternatives at all so we decided to take him out and home educate, which we did for the last two years of primary.
When it came to secondary provision we knew he wouldn't cope with mainstream secondary and wanted a place in an ASD unit attached to a mainstream. The 'professionals' didn't give us any assistance or encouragement or suggestions, but the LEA told us that, if we applied for a particular school, our application would go before a board, who would decide who got the places (there were only two available). Again, long story short, we got a place and, in fact, they took three kids that year so we think they created a place for him. We threatened that if he didn't get in we'd have to home educate through his secondary years and we wanted him to have the opportunities that a secondary school could offer and he deserved that as much as the next child, etc. etc.
The thing is, if you leave it to the professionals then, certainly in our case, you could get overlooked and they might consider things are 'adequate' as they are, but you might not agree. By making an application to the LEA yourself then they have to face you personally and it sometimes works. In our case it did.
Best of luck to you.
~ Mel ~
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Hi all,
Anyone else have problems with phobias? My J (12/AS) has always suffered with various different phobias, but at the mo his reaction to dogs and our nearby level crossing is getting a bit much. Whenever he sees a dog now he freezes up and crouches over with his arms over his head and shuts his eyes
The same with the level crossing, he clasps onto me and shuts his eyes and I have to guide him over it while he gibbers like a monkey, it's getting beyond a joke!Any advice anyone? It's difficult enough to get the kid to leave the house. We're still making a point of going out and crossing the level crossing but we're wondering when will it end!
Cheers.
~ Mel ~
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Its his last Year 6 report but is just as full of nonsense as every other one.For a start the SATs results are not even in it!
Then theres the bit where his teacher has waffled on about how much "progress" Luke has apparently made this year (Exact opposite of what the statutory assessment reports are saying (they say not only has he made little or no progress over the last 4 YEARS, but also that this year in particular he has made none!
So in the parental comment bit I have questioned it and will be sending it in to Luke's teacher on Wednesday (he's not in school tomorrow)
My younger ds Daniel is Dyslexic but the school report would rather blame ME saying he should read everyday (just because he does not always bring home his reading book to read everyday does NOT mean I do not get him to read our own books!!
It also comments that he has rarely done his homework when the FACT is that his dopey teacher and all the many supply teachers he has had this year have OFTEN forgotten to even set the homework
So I have made a few comments on the parental comment part for that too.
It all just seems like pointless waffle sometimes, doesn't it. It's like they have to try and say something positive to make them feel like they haven't failed. I'd rather they were just honest. I'll never forget sitting in a review meeting and the useless teacher smiling idiotically and saying that he'd made good progress in maths. I looked her straight in the eye and asked her 'what progress has he made'. She looked embarrassed and admitted that actually no, he hadn't made any at all that year!! Why try and fob us off with niceties, it's not as if we don't know the truth, it's not as if we actually believe them!!
Grrrrrrrrrrr!~ Mel ~
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Straight to the point. At what age do boys have to start pulling their foreskin back to wash behind it.The reason I ask is cos Ben had Thrush and the nurse asked him to pull it back so she could see but he has never done it before so I was wondering. Hubby can't remember and Ben is my only boy so never had to worry about it.
Yikes, I'm really fretting about this now!!
What happens if they don't clean under it then??!! (*mind boggles*). I do remember asking my hubby about this once years ago and he told me in not uncertain terms that I should leave our ds's foreskin well and truly alone. Now he's 12 and as far as I know he's never cleaned under it, is it gonna go black and drop off??!! 
~ Mel ~
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this is amzing, i have been in floods today, why are my family not helpful, they think they are but at the same time noone will actually ever help how i need help, they offer to baby sit but never will, in fact i find it desperatly upsetting at the moment how all the family dont get it, what the difficulties are and probably think i make it all up, then the only other peopl i see are the health professionals who tell me how autistic the kids are and how i should have support and respite and allsorts. and then there are no friends, today i feel i am stuck on this strange island completly isolated and all this life going on around me.and blah blah blah. sorry ive just had it today. i dont know where i go from here today. i feel very depressed. i only want a bit of a life in a place that i feel comfortable with just a couple of people around me who understand it all..
Hi Lotty, I'm feeling exactly the same as you at the moment, I know that's no help to you or me, but it's good to talk about it at least!
It is so isolating sometimes, isn't it. It makes it worse sometimes when people are there but they just don't seem to see it or understand the problems. My DH's parents seem to think all my son's problems are a figment of my imagination, they don't seem to have any idea of how it really is, it's so frustrating isn't it
They don't live near us so don't see him that often and so they don't know about all the little day-to-day problems that make life so depressing sometimes and when I try to make them understand they just get annoyed with me because they think I'm moaning!!Chin up, at least WE understand you and can listen.
<'> ~ Mel ~
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Well I'm not a parent so this is a seperate issue in that respect. However I do have re-emerging snippets from incidents some of which took place almost thirty years ago. Move on? Let go? I wish I could. The only available solution seems to come in a bottle of pills or even a bottle of PILS! But I know that's a temporary solution and hardly worth the effort.Certainly there is a ton of stuff that I've disgarded as being useless junk memories but this stuff is mostly irritatingly minor by comparison yet it plagues the hell out of me!
Wasn't there a film once where they came up with a machine that got rid of all the negative memories, I guess we'll just have to hold out until someone invents one of those for real!
~ Mel ~
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Mel I have lots of areas where I could beat myself up-both with the boys and with OH.If I knew a few years ago what I know now I would have reacted very differently in some situations.However I reached a decision that guilt and regret was hurting me.It did nothing constructive to help my family either.I decided to stop punishing myself and to allow myself to do the best I can in my situation.The guilt has not gone completely but it does not have a hold like it did.It also helped me when I realised my kids don't need me to be perfect -they love me as I am.I know it is not as easy to do as I make it sound -but it worked for me.<'> <'> KarenHi Karen, I'm glad you found a way out of your guilt. I'm still stuck in I-must-be-punished mode, I think, I just can't seem to forgive myself. I feel like I don't deserve it maybe, I dunno. Who knows, maybe one day I might be able to move on, I hope so
~ Mel ~
Why don't they listen to me ..........
in Education
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Thanks for the words of support everyone!
It just frustrates and worries me sometimes the thought that these people have that much control over him during the day and he's at their mercy, or is that just me over-reacting!!
Cheers all.
<'>
~ Mel ~