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About oxgirl

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    Mt McKinley

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  1. I used to get like this a lot when I was younger, raging and feeling out-of-control like I just couldn't get a hold of myself and control myself. It would get so bad, I'd smash things and hurt myself and I didn't even know really how it had started or come about but seemed to always stem from some sort of frustration or feeling of lack of control or inability to change something or express myself which led to uncontrollable rage. You don't say how old you are, but with me it certainly got a lot better as I got older. I think you just learn to get a hold of yourself more as you get older and mature. What I found did really help as I got older was that I started to recognise what would set me off and I could learn to stop before I got past the point of no return. For instance, I am obsessed when it comes to hovering, once I start the job I have to complete the task in a particular order and if I should be interrupted or unable to complete the routine, I just could not cope. Once the hoover actually broke down when I was halfway through my routine. I couldn't cope, I didn't know how to cope and ended up having the most enormous meltdown and injuring myself quite badly. I went on for hours and just didn't know how to stop. Now I'm much better at walking away before I get to the point when I know I won't be able to come back and it's just something you have to learn by experience and it does make life an awful lost easier and less stressful when you do learn it. ~ Mel ~
  2. Good news, Jeanne. Hope the good progress continues. ~ Mel ~
  3. Could be that he's just remembering those unhappy days, Jeanne and doesn't know how else to express it other than saying he doesn't want it. Maybe it's his way of saying he didn't like it or he wished it had been different but hasn't the vocabulary to say it that way so can only say it in his own words. Or maybe he worries that he will have to go back to school one day and needs reassuring that he won't ever have to go there again. ~ Mel ~
  4. Hi jan, you've obviously been through an extremely traumatic experience with your son fighting for his life. I think you both need some time to recover from the effects that that has bound to have had upon you both. I personally wouldn't go rushing in with your discussion about possible Asperger's at the moment, give it a bit of time. Concentrate on getting YOUR strength back and also getting him back to fitness. When he is as well as can be expected, then would be a good time to sit quietly with him and talk about your concerns and what you think he needs to do to help himself and the future. You say he spends most of his time in his room. Is he on jobseekers allowance or is he actually looking for work? Could you encourage him to help out in a charity shop for some hours a week to get him out of the house. At the end of the day, it is your house, and presumably you don't want him dossing about indoors all day without contributing anything. You don't say if you yourself work or get some respite for yourself, because it is a strain having a grown up child living with you. It could be good maybe to set some ground rules, in that he does at least help with cleaning the house or shopping or comes out for walks or something, rather than just allowing him to sit in his room all day, which obviously isn't healthy for anyone, as you well know. Does he go out with his girlfriend at all and where does he get the alcohol from or the money for it? Good luck with it. ~ Mel ~
  5. Great news, KezT, well done you! ~ Mel ~
  6. I don't want to see swearing on here, no. Keep your foul mouth to yourself, is what I think. ~ Mel ~
  7. Great news, Paula, that your lad is doing so well, a lot of which is down to your hard work so you should be proud. My lad also voted. He wasn't sure at first, but I encouraged him to be part of it even if he didn't have strong views and I'm proud that he did it. ~ Mel ~
  8. Great news, di30 and well done. ~ Mel ~
  9. Hi penny23465, sorry you've had such a tough time with your daughter for all these years. I can't help with what to expect at the assessment, I'm afraid, as the assessment for my son was when he was 4 years old, so probably very different from an adult assessment. He is 22 now and it has been a tough road, even with a dx. I wish you both well with the appointment and hope it brings all the answers and help that you both need. ~ Mel ~
  10. Reading back through my son's school annual review reports and statement reports I would not recognise him as the person he is today. He has none of the traits that he had as a child, but I guess he has different problems, adults problems with fitting into the adult world. I don't think he would get a dx now, would rather just be seen as shy and withdrawn. He is so much more aware of himself and his behaviour and how they appear to others and understands so much more of the world and is more aware of others, that I guess he has just learnt to 'cope' better in a lot of ways. He is still autistic but just presents differently I think. Interesting. ~ Mel ~
  11. Hi pinebunny, sorry to hear about your daughter's troubles. My son is 20 and in a similar position, in that he dropped out of college and found it very anxiety-inducing looking for work and couldn't face going back to college because of the social aspects associated with it. At the moment we are quite stuck also. A positive is that my son does help out in a charity shop regularly now. It has been good for confidence-building but is not a long-term plan and we're unsure how to move on from this now. Would your daughter consider volunteering, as it is a lot less pressure and a good way to establish a routine and get out and about mixing with people, or at least it's a start? All the best to you both. ~ Mel ~
  12. If school are on board it should be sorted fairly quickly for you, hopefully. Fingers crossed. ~ Mel ~
  13. Hi Kez, is it possible to speak to the driver and get him to tell the LEA that he can't cope with the behaviouir of the students? Would the driver cooperate do you think? ~ Mel ~
  14. Hi Abi, and welcome. Have you spoken to your doctor about changing the medication dose before giving up on it completely? It could be that the dosage just needs adjusting. I would def go back to your GP to discuss alternatives first. Other than that, the key to dealing with the behaviours you're describing is consistency. You need to come up with a plan of action that will work with your particular child, i.e. what does he really love, what could you use as an incentive for good behaviour or take away if behaviour is unacceptable. Once you have worked out what you can use, you need to be very consistent and don't give in no matter what. If you have agreed that such and such will be removed if behaviour is bad, then you have to follow through and not give in even if the behaviour gets worse. If he sees that behaving worse makes you give in, he will continue to behave badly to make you crack. Once he understands that you won't give in, his behaviour will improve, but his behaviour could, unfortunately, get worse before it gets better; ride out the storm and stick to your guns and it will start to work. I would sit down with him and draw out a chart showing what will happen if he behaves badly and what will happen if he behaves well so that he understands before you start. He is still quite young and it is very important that you get his behaviour under control before he becomes too big and possibly aggressive for you to handle so now is a good time to start. Good luck. ~ Mel ~
  15. So sorry to hear about Glen's deterioration, Jeanne. I really hope the hospital can get to the bottom of the underlying causes of Glen's problems and come up with a solution to make him feel better and happier. Very worrying and stressful time for you all. Sending hugs. <'> ~ Mel ~
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