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bristolbloke

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About bristolbloke

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    Norfolk Broads

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  1. Hi All This is my first post here, and I’m feeling a bit helpless as the moment and I was looking for some support and advice. I first became aware of AS following the breakdown of my marriage about 8 years ago. I was unable to cope and express myself within the relationship, and it fell apart. At the end my ex-wife said I must be autistic or something because there was clearly something wrong with me! Following that comment I did look into it and found out about Asperger’s syndrome. It was a eureka moment for me, and I could relate to everything I read I about it, and it made me feel so happy that I finally knew what was “wrong” with me. I spoke to my mum about it, and got her to read up about it. She completely dismissed it and said that I didn’t have it and there was nothing wrong with me. She did however say it sounds like something my father had though, but that I didn’t. I went for a formal diagnosis through the NHS, but after testing, they didn’t give me one. This was mainly due to my mother’s witness statement/testimony about me as a child (which from my point of view was completely inaccurate!), and also the fact that I was “too self-aware” about the condition i.e. the fact I had researched it and referred myself, meant I couldn’t have it! I was devastated, having come to accept that this was something I experienced, I sought a formal diagnosis to be able to “prove” to people why I was the way I am. I should have stuck to my self-diagnosis! My mother had a very “told you so” attitude which just made things worse. I decided to accept the diagnosis and try and continue with my life as best as I could, with no real explanation for my thoughts and behaviour. I still believe to this day that I have some sort of AS related issue (PDD-NOS?), but it’s hard to accept that I have not had that confirmed by medical professionals when I’m 100% convinced! I have always used alcohol as a way of coping with my life, something that apparently is very prevalent in people with AS (my dad was an alcoholic and drug user, so maybe my mum was right about him!). In my next relationship, and following the birth of our child, I suffered from post-natal depression, and my drinking spiralled out of control, and ultimately led to the breakdown of that relationship about 18 months ago. Following another bout of depression recently, I have been put on anti-depressants and feel a lot better about myself, but again my drinking has got out of hand, and I’m seeking help with that. My current relationship is once again breaking down. I have tried explaining to my partner about AS but she doesn’t accept my self-diagnosis. She just says you don’t know you have that, and she can’t see how my behaviour mirrors that of someone with AS. I am reading a book at the moment about AS and alcohol as a way of coping, it’s incredible, I feel like I wrote it and I can relate to everything in it. I have asked my partner to read certain parts of it but she isn’t interested. I don’t know what to do now. I can’t say why I won’t go for a formal diagnosis (because I already tried that) as I’ll just get “I told you so” again, and I can’t deal with that, but without that I can’t convince her there is anything wrong. If only I could get her to read the book she would instantly recognise me and relate to those issues. I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t understand me, or doesn’t want to try to understand me, and so it feels like yet another relationship is going down the drain. I just don’t know what to do. Could the diagnosis of no AS be wrong? Could it be something else? Should I just stick to dating people who also have AS, as at least they would understand me? How would I even go about doing that? If anyone has any advice or experience of a situation like this it would be great to hear from you. Thanks
  2. Great news, just got back from the GP and I was only in there for 10 minutes, and he agreed to refer me! I feel so lucky, it's been a whirlwind 7 days but I feel like I've made such progress already and feel a lot happier in myself now as a result.
  3. Thanks for the suggestions, I'm preparing to see my GP like it's a job interview! I've got a big long list of ASD traits that I display and I'm just praying it all goes ok!
  4. Thanks, I'm booked in to see my GP on Friday and have read a lot about BASS. I have read about lots of horror stories about people being able to get referred, but I think Bristol seems to be a lot better than some areas so I'm hopeful of getting passed on to them for a referall. I would be interested in the social groups, please can you PM me some more details?
  5. Hello all Over the last day or so I have been reading up a lot about autism and Aspergers, and the more I read, the more I feel it relates to me. I am nearly 30 and at no point has it ever been suggested to me that I might be autistic in any way, people have always just said I was very quiet, but I've always felt there may be more to it than that. I just did the online C4 test and scored 32 and so I guess that points towards needing to look into this a bit further, but I'm just totally confused and finding this all a bit hard. When I read up about all the symptoms of AspergersI know that I definitely display some of them, but it's far from conclusive. I've always been a bit socially awkward, but I always saw that as a bit of a lack of confidence around meeting new people, although saying that, even my friends see me as being very quiet (unless I've had a few drinks)! I've never had any problems with speech, or reading between the lines or interpreting people's facial expressions though. But other things such as hating small talk and being bored by conversations that don't interest me have always been there. I've also had some trouble with personal relationships through my lack of caring/switching off/becoming distant or as it has been described to me before, a lack of a heart!! I've always had a bit of an obsession relating to football, remembering facts and figures and results etc, and collecting lots of reference books and newspapers/magazines etc, people used to call me statto at school! But as football is quite a mainstream thing to be interested in, I (or anybody else) had never considered that it could be an indicator of some form of Aspergers, and even to this day I still take the football thing a lot further than most! I do like to have a routine and be organised, but again, I've always just been seen as someone who is really organised, again though I was once described as regimented!! I do have a slight bit of OCD according to my wife and other people, most noticeably when I line up my ketchup sachets in neat rows when in pubs & restaurants! Apologies for rambling on, I'm really lost here, I guess what I'm trying to ask is, does anyone else feel like this or have been through this? I have no problems operating a perfectly "normal" life, and so the things listed above have always just been me, if somewhat unusual. But since I've been doing this reading, I've convinced myself I have Aspergers, if perhaps only mildly. Can anybody help me, and give me some advice and guidance? I really don't know what to do now! I don't even know if I'm just imagining things or making them all sound or seem worse than they are. Hopefully, your experience in this field will tell me if I have something to worry about or not! Thanks in advance
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