Hello
My name is Alison and I am a single mum of 5 Boys!! Only 4 at home now which is enough. my eldest is 21 and now left home! When he was 13 was diagnosed with a mild for of Tourettees Syndrome My 19 year old is Autistic with learning difficulties and I also have identical twin boys who will be 6 in October my youngest is 3. My twins have been diagnosed with High Functioning Autism! To be honest I'm at my witsend. I have very little support and coping very much on my own. It has got to stage now I'm not sure how much longer I can go on for!! My 19 year is the least of my problems. What I can't do. Is give him the support he needs now because of the little ones. They have to come first. Where I live there is no provision for him. No clubs he can join. He does have respbite but not because he is difficult for me. It's to get a break from the twins!
Anthony & Stuart!! I don't even know where to begin! Their behaviour in the home is way of of control at times and they really do put themselves in danger! I'm living under lock and key, they are on Melatonin but it doesn't always work for sleeping even though they have both the instant release and slow release. Both dosages has been doubled! They can go 18 hours with out sleep and then only need some and they are full of energy again! They destroy everything. Turn the funiture upside down! Toys mean nothing to them. except each other and as long as each other approve of what they are doing then nothing else matters! I can honestly say I have no idea what I'm dealing with here or how to get them under control. They have had their 1st year in mainstream school and so far school does not have the same problems as I do. If I didn't tell them they have been up all night. The staff wouldn't know any different. I'm exhausted, physically and emotionally.
It doesn't help that I'm not sure if they have been given the right diagnoses! Yes they show autistic behaviour but in other ways they are not autistic at all. They are obssessed with water, light switches, buttons, calling 999 if they get hold of a phone! They walk on tip toes and sometimes hand flap, high pitched screaming! At the moment they have decided they are dogs and want to eat of the floor and lap their drinks from bowls! They don't seem to be aware of peoples feelings, they have no sense of danger!! Now that I have written this out yes they could be autistic!!! But nothing like I've known before. They can be affectionate and like to have kisses and cuddles! Stuart will mix with his own peer group, where Anthony doesn't. Anthony seems to get on better with adults. Stuart can cope without Anthony but not the other way round!
I have been on my own now for nearly 18 months and they don't see their dad! I really don't know what else to do. I now I'm making mistakes and I know what my children need! But there is 4 of them and only one of me!!!
So far I think my youngest is fine but has 2 very good teachers that he looks upto! It has been suggested that I have him assessed but so far there has been no real casue for concern. He is outgoing and plays with all the children at his pre-school. He loves his toys but his brothers will destroy anything that belongs to Aidan as well as their own. They hurt him, hit him but also learns from Aidan. Aidan has imaginary play which Anthony & Stuart don't!
If anyone can give me any advice on how to cope and deal with my home life I would be very grateful! I'm off tomorrow for an appointment with the NSPCC to see if they can help me manage their behaviour in the home! Last year I did have someone come from Crisis Intervention. They gave me a lecture and I gave one back and told them to try it for a couple of days! They declined and said I needed more support than they could give me! Not heard from anyone since!!
Thank you for taking the time to read my introduction!
A well and truely stressed out mum
