uklad

The depression/anxiety was picked up on by the gp the other year when i came in for a checkup. I don't have medication The anxiety is getting pretty bad, had one occasion recently where I had to go somewhere in an area I didn't know well The directions I had were slightly off, so I began to freak out when I was where I thought I was supposed to be, but the place wasn't there (i figured it out for myself quickly, luckily) End up fighting myself to keep my breathing under control, breaking out in a sweat and i can feel my heartbeat racing... not really healthy when its as warm as it has recently been The trouble i find trying to talk to my gp is the time pressure They never see me when they are supposed to (always 30 min later because they are backed up) And then you feel like your on a spotlight to cram an hour into 5 minutes and it may not even be with your regular gp.. as health services in this area seem be going downhill sharply So I'm having a hard time with the idea of getting signed off

Great, i located the login information and email Hello again, Since my introductory posts a little while back I've found myself still waiting to see a diagnostician and get assessed (asd/aspergers) after getting a referal from my gp In the meanwhile my situation at home (to save time lets just say its complicated) is unchanged, I've attended a couple sessions of talking therapy but while the other person seemed nice enough we just didn't get anywhere, I intend to try again after I have a diagnosis (whatever the outcome) because I do have other issues (depression, anxiety, stress).to contend with I'm also trying to find employment, which by itself is a big enough headache without the above stuff.. I've done a couple courses, even unpaid work experience (I am that desperate), things which as well as help my prospects kept me in some sort of healthy routine and a reason to get outside. The waiting is eating away at me however and while I'm putting on a strong front when dealing with others, not lashing out at the few people I consider myself close to, inside I feel utterly burnt out/destroyed like my backs against a wall. It also occured to me recently stuff I might do to relax myself/distract my mind for a couple hours no longer offers me any enjoyment, its just part of a routine. My sleeping isn't fantastic at the best of times however its gotten worse, nomatter how much or how little I get I feel exhausted/drained. I had it suggested to me that i should try to claim ESA for a couple months, which makes sense because they would be a hell of alot more supportive than the JSA crowd.. in the respect every single meeting I am an inch away from a meltdown.. but aside from mild psoriasis and a touch of arthritis phsyically I am fine, and don't see how I'd qualifiy for it, I worry about ending up in "no mans land" of jsa saying I'm not fit to sign on but the esa lot saying the opposite. I did voluntry work some years back with cab and have seen people stuck in this predicament Would like to hear from others in a simular position and their experience on jsa or esa.. I'm desperate to work but it feels like as hard as I am trying things are going backwards rather than forward

Hello again, Despite the gp siding with the need to obtain a diagnosis for various reasons mentioned in my previous posts, I found the response I have recieved underwhelming to say the least, and frankly don't know what to make of it. It mentions talking therapy, which theres a waiting time for but no mention of consulting a clinical psychiatrist. Then goes on to suggest "Stress mood management" courses while you wait.. however aside from logistics (its a distance if you can't afford taxis everywhere) its also group sessions... I can see myself leaving in a worst state than when I entered being put on the spot like that I feel like I've been ignored, I have a hard enough time opening up on a 1 to 1 basis.. even writing this stuff here anonymously is tedious at best

The steroid part is enough to warrent seeking help by itself, those are terribly dangerous, once that is out of the equation they can properly establish if there is other elements at play I'm new here myself but just wanted to say your brother is very fortunate to have someone like you that wants to look out for him and I hope if help is required he finds it You are doing the right thing to talk about it, burying stuff just makes the problem worse I found this out the hard way Best of luck

Hello again, I did take some notes into the initial appointment with the gp, however i did not find the experience comfortable because having turned up 15 minutes before the appointment I had to wait a further 30 minutes to be seen. The gp did try to reassure me there was no time pressure on my appointment because of the delay, however they said they realized that I had put significant investment into preparing to speak to them, and how much it had thrown me off, so I suspect they have certainly dealt with this sort of thing before. Now I'm out of that environment, I can say I would had felt uncomfortable irrespective of the delay in being seen, because alot of what I had to say has been long buried, just the waiting didn't make the situation any better for me at the time. The gp established that I definatly need a diagnosis, and because of my support network problem (namely, there is none) I need to be able to discuss everything in a controlled environment with another person at my own pace. For the moment I've had an assessment form given to me to complete which they have recieved back, they will contact me with further information. Couple observations, Did not like some of the questions on the form, many of them were linked to self-harm which I found slightly distressing, I do not think of myself in that way. I do (and have mentioned previously) have my issues with depression and anxiety, they are a part of the package and something I have to manage.. they do not define me as a person. The questions which were actually relevent, you don't have enough space to write a proper answer, i ended up attaching a couple sheets of paper as a result. So for the moment its a waiting game while they respond, Weekend has arrived so I can just keep occupied with other things and be myself for a bit. Thank you for taking the time to reply

Greetings, I'm finding it difficult to strike a balance between putting how I feel/what I'm thinking out there, without going overboard as to put people asleep, so if this comes out as a bit long winded or incoherant I do apologise Early 30's male hailing from the south east, varying levels of depression and anxiety, partially because of circumstances, past negative experiences. Have found most of my adult life to be struggling with who I am. Currently trying seek a referal to clinical psychologist through my gp.. it has taken a very long time just to get myself to the point of "trying" because I have unprecedented difficulty in bringing my problems to others, even if they want to help. I understand a diagnosis is not a fix, I would also find it difficult to share with those close to me as I do not want the label, however going through the process could allow me to reach out to others that feel the same way I do, so I can just accept myself for who I am get on with my life. Worried about the tests, particularly where interaction is required between the interviewee and a third party close to the patient. Not least because aside from family members (parents, and siblings) I am socially isolated.. I get on with my parents but would not be comfortable involving them in this, they themselves have combined health issues and carer responsibilities.. going back to the label thing, I don't want them to feel like they screwed up on my account because I think the world of them, they don't deserve that. I've had friends down the years, and some apparently not-so-meaningful relationships down the years, which feel like little else than a charade to fit in and appear normal, because I don't really miss any of it. I started to pick up on not-so-subtile hints more recently when during a period of unemployment I took some courses provided by a local college, their staff covered a wide demographic of clients including some on the autistic spectrum. I had my suspicions something was not right with me but it was the face to face review discussion with 2 of the tutors (one of which also had an asd) which I first began to acknowledge I needed to begin seeking professional help, they praised my intelligence which actually made me feel a bit uncomfortable, and because I'd been working with them for 2 months they'd made behavioral observations. It is probably not the first time its been hinted, if I really think about it I could pick out more examples, i just failed to actually pick up on them or realize what they were saying at the time, or maybe even just got defensive/avoidant and disregarded the observations altogether I did take a few of the online tests to satisfy my own curiousity, namely the "Aspie Quiz" (171/200 aspie score and 47/200 neurotypical respectively), the "RAADS-R" (total score 179.0), "AQ test" (43) and some others, although they appear to use the same area of questioning, just in different ways or sizes. What really caught my attention was not the results but the things asked which raised awareness of things I knew about myself but had previously overlooked. Namely my sensory perception when exposed to different levels or forms of stimulation... what I have felt when in very busy environments (for instance I recently went into London) is much akin to what I now understand is refered to as "sensory overload". I've always hated that sort of environment, too much noise, too many smells, have always thought later in life I would probably end up relocating to somewhere quiet/peaceful because of this, infact i still hope to. Stuff like being kept awake all night in bed because when the weather is how it was this past few days and can hear/feel everything going on, or being kept awake because my body is saying go to sleep but my brains decided to play a extended directors edition cut of the past days events, or whatevers in my thoughts at that present time. The same realizations came to prominence in regard to my routines and interests.. I do have interests I can become strongly absorbed (or even obsessed) with, they can be things I discover on my own which I am naturally interested in, or things which caught my attention, which I feel compelled to read up on as much as I can, and I'll end up remembering most of it as well. My routines at home (wether its dress sense, eating routines, and so on) The social aspects one of the hardest to go into.. because even relationships I have been a part of it was the other person that initiated things I was just never good at putting myself out there, it went above and beyond merely being shy I just do not have the desire to, I'm not a horrible person to be around and will try to be accomodating to others its just hard to read people when you exhaust yourself just through basic interaction.. on the outside there might not seem anything unusual to me at social engagements yet on the inside I am all over the place and struggling to process my surroundings because theres so much happenning Academically I was considered very bright, but quiet, shy and slightly withdrawn. I did feel slightly different as a child but I have come to understand I was probably not rational or mature enough to be able to properly scrutinize myself (growing up its hard to have a benchmark for comparison everything is moving so quickly), its when things stabilized more in adulthood that sense became a bit stronger but I always dismissed it.. in the same breath homelife was hectic when I was young, so what I acknowledge now as slightly odd behavior would back then had been overlooked as there was so much going on. I've always instinctively read up on anything and everything which interested me (luckily my generation got the internet!) and have used computers since a young age (5), I went to college when completing school, I remember coming home after using a computer there and deciding to teach myself how to build a pc, you didn't have the likes of youtube or endless "how to" guides as the net was pretty basic then, yet by the end of that week I'd bought a second hand pc and figured out for myself how to dismantle it, assemble it, fix it when something went wrong, load it up.. if it caught my eye I just had to know everything about it Some interests closely linked to the above, namely gaming.. although not so much as I've gotten older (grew out of it), love my music, it relaxes me. I did have a couple other interests growing up, was a very keen artist and this was something I had long forgotten about, till discovering some of my old scrapbooks, this wasn't neccesarily a bad thing, I excelled significantly in subjects which incorperated illustration with written works (geography, science and history especially) which also had a benefit in college because I studied engineering which also incorperated some of those elements i was comfortable in working with. I was not huge on sport, although I have always had the capability to become decent at anything I make a go of, the issue is wether it actually interests me enough to inspire that effort, although for a while took self defense lessons (out of neccesity at the time but they were fun too) generally I have always been fit/healthy phsyically...I do have a couple increasing nags such as frequently feeling tired, The way I feel can drain me as much phsyically as mentally, I just shut down sometimes. I'm not bonkers, just a little bit of a mess sometimes. Some miscellaneous things about myself, I don't drink, never done drugs, I used to smoke, privately I am quite proud of having quit in favor of the electronic ones, and honey badgers are awesome.. because "honey badger does not care, honey badger just eats what it wants!" - i have somewhat a quirky sense of humour There is an awful lot more I wanted to say, alot of what I have posted has come from a very deep place, but does not really scratch the surface of how much I actually wanted to put out there.. I have no idea how I am going to manage presenting this stuff to somebody else in person.. I did actually sign for this board the other week, its taken till now to feel comfortable with putting this much out there.. it suppose you could compare it in a wierd way to sending your kid off to school for their first day and worrying about them fitting in/being accepted It would be somewhat a relief to know theres at least some correlation with what I am describing and what others sometimes feel themselves Little edits, some spelling errors and i also decided to elaborate on a couple areas a little further