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Posts posted by bid

  1. Posted · Edited by bid · Report reply

    Hi again FD,

     

    I don't mean this in an unkind way, but everything you write is all about you.

     

    Increasingly I'm aware that I am very, very old school. But I was brought up to think that it is important to give something back. As a child, on two occasions my parents brought home to live with us indiviuals who were going through difficult times, such as depression. I've never been as alturistic as that, but as an adult I always did voluntary work when I was at home with young children, and now work with young people with complex needs.

     

    Again it's probably very old-fashioned, and consequently unpopular, but I think looking outwards rather than constantly focusing on yourself, will ultimately help you to be a happier, more balanced person.

     

    Bid :)

     

    ETA: I've just read a later post of yours where you say you are very busy as a student with studying and working so voluntary work isn't possible. You also say that you help other students with work at times, and I think this is an excellent thing to do, as it gives you a focus away from your own difficulties, and you may end up with some new mates too :)

  2. Posted · Edited by bid · Report reply

    That's lovely Tally :D

     

    Over half term, I met up with my two close friends from student days...one from Canada I hadn't seen for 20 odd years. I posted a wonderful piccie on FB of the three of us circa 1988...it was really funny to see my Canadian mate, who now has a grey beard and a tum and looks a bit like Father Christmas! And back in the day he was sooo dishy :lol: Oh, and when I explained about my AS dx, he laughed and said "I just thought you were a bit weird!" hehehe ;)

     

    I hope you have as much fun as I did when you meet up with your old friends >:D<<'>

     

    Bid :)

  5. Posted · Edited by bid · Report reply

    I do think that when you find yourself relating too closely to Smiths songs it's time to recognise that something's going a bit wrong and you might need some help.

     

    Oh dear, but as someone who had a room opposite a Smiths fan when I was at uni in the 80s this did make me chuckle! :shame:

     

    Bid :)

  6. Posted · Edited by bid · Report reply

    Hi FD,

     

    This is now your third post where you attribute your views to everyone with autism!

     

    I have a dx of AS, and I have a very, very different view of the world and AS compared to you.

     

    Of course on a forum we can all express our opinions. But please stop talking about 'them' and 'us'.

     

    In the nicest possible way, you don't speak for me!

     

    Bid :)

  8. Posted · Report reply

    While I'm sorry that you feel this way, Fourthdimension, not everyone with AS feels like this.

     

    It may not feel like it to you at the moment, but it is perfectly possible for people with AS to be happy with their lives and who they are.

     

    Have you thought about doing thngs that help you look outwards? I'm a firm believer in the positive power of doing things for others. There are plently of projects that need volunteers. You could perhaps apply your interest in autism in a practical way, and volunteer to work with adults or young people with severe autism.

     

    I hope you find a more positive place soon.

     

    Bid :)

  11. Posted · Edited by bid · Report reply

    My very personal experience was that I didn't tell anyone I had AS before I was diagnosed. A few people close to me knew I had been referred (oh, and the forum :lol: ), but I had an absolute horror of telling people I 'had AS' only to find out at my assessment that I didn't! I felt that it would be lying to say I had AS before a dx.

     

    Once I had been formally diagnosed I told my wider family and my line manager and my team.

     

    I have had a largely very positive experience around dx, except from my in-laws :P I have always tried very hard to look outwards and push myself to do as many of the things that I find difficult as possible. But that's just me :lol:

     

    Bid :)

  12. Posted · Edited by bid · Report reply

    Dekra, I'm sorry too if I made you feel knocked down >:D<<'>

     

    My DH is head of maths at a special school, so I probably hear too much about numeracy skills ;)

     

    My son with ASD was also my eldest, and I know what you mean about any subsequent children. If he had been my second, I would have been flagging up concerns almost from when he was a tiny baby, but you just think that must be the norm.

     

    Bid :)

  14. Posted · Report reply

    Hi jlogan,

     

    I agree with Justine. It's important to equip our children as much as we can for adult life, and a clear daily/night-time routine is central to this in my opinion.

     

    My son who has AS, ADHD and Dyspraxia is an adult now, who lives independently. Although by inclination he is a nocturnal sort of person, he always had clear routines at home, and we maintained a largely 'normal' pattern of waking and sleeping. As an adult he has chosen to work mainly late shifts, which I think fits in with his prefered lifestyle. But he is still perfectly able to work early shifts when necessary, etc.

     

    It really is so important to remember that, however 'unfair' we may feel it to be, we have to equip our children to be able to function as independently as possible in the 'normal' world...as adults they can't exclusively inhabit an 'autistic' world if we want them to have any degree of independence.

     

    I would think that the SW is suggesting removing the reptiles from your son's room to make it as low-stimulation as possible?

     

    Bid :)

  16. Posted · Edited by bid · Report reply

    Hi dekra,

     

    I think it's very important to consider that the ability to count to a high number doesn't indicate whether a child has a good understanding of numeracy that is age appropriate, or whether they are actually advanced in numeracy.

     

    For example, being able to say numbers from 1 to 69 is not the same as understanding the concept that the numbers 1 to 5 can correlate to 5 actual objects, which another nursery age child might have grasped. The nursery age child who can do the latter is actually more advanced in numeracy than the child who can count to a high number.

     

    HTH

     

    Bid :)

  17. Posted · Edited by bid · Report reply

    I did actually press that earlier today in a spirit of experimentation when I was trying to get the drop down to work...all that appeared to happen was that I got logged out??

     

    :blink:

     

    ETA: A-ha!! The drop down does work if I use Firefox!

  19. Posted · Report reply

    Thanks Darkshine...I can access messages from my phone, like now, and when I have a notification I can access them via that, so thanks :)

     

    I will also try another browser and see if the drop down works any better.

     

    Bid :)

  20. Posted · Edited by bid · Report reply

    Stupid question - but have you tried the drop down bar that appears with your name in it? Or has everything got deleted in there too?

     

    I can't get the drop down to work! As soon as I try to click on anything in it, it just disappears altogether...

     

    Bid :wacko:

     

    ETA: it let me do it successfully just now, so I was able to click on 'messenger' and could see that my PMs are still there. But when I tried to do it agin, it went back to disappearing when I try to click on 'messenger'!!

     

    ETA again: and now sometimes it stays long enough to allow me to click on 'messenger', but nothing happens...

  21. Posted · Edited by bid · Report reply

    I'm just copying a query I posted in the techie forum, as it appeared halfway down the page and I'm not sure anyone will see it!!

     

    I have just deleted my notifications list as it was really long...but now I can't seem to access my actual PMs?? I usually empty my in-box of messages first, then delete the notifications...but does deleting the notifications first also delete the messages too??

     

    Bid :)

  22. Posted · Report reply

    I have just deleted my notifications list as it was really long...but now I can't seem to access my actual PMs?? I usually empty my in-box of messages first, then delete the notifications...but does deleting the notifications first also delete the messages too??

     

    Bid :wacko:

  23. Posted · Edited by bid · Report reply

    Hi Justine,

     

    I would also try to avoid making this into something it probably isn't. Take a kind but firm approach, because if you focus too much on this you may well end up colluding with or even creating the problem you are worrying about.

     

    Good lcuk,

     

    Bid :)

  24. Posted · Edited by bid · Report reply

    I've remembered a strategy that was suggested to us when my son was a bit older, about 17 or so, by his CAMHS psychiatrist.

     

    I guess it's a form of back-chaining. Talk with him about where he wants to be (perhaps in his case in the RAF? Or living on his own. Or just having more money, etc). Then ask him what he thinks he needs to do to get to where he wants to be. Then you can start to discuss how he thinks he can make this happen.

     

    I know it sounds simplistic written down like that, but I think the idea is to stop him feeling in typical teenage style that the adults are 'telling him what to do', and rather to encourage him to take ownership of his situation and to think things through realistically. I would also make it visual too, by writing things down as you talk so that he isn't faced with a barrage of 'talk', but can actually 'see' what he is thinking and saying.

     

    HTH

     

    Bid :)

  25. Posted · Report reply

    Yes I have been in this situation a few times, it is very stressful. I think two weeks to pay a large bill is ridiculous. I pay both my broadband and phoneline together and if I don't pay in full (minimum bill is £200 for 3 mths) they not only restrict my phone but immediatley cut my broadband, its crazy. Most other bills if one is struggling they have various payment options and unless you don't respond to letters/bills they unlinkely to cut the supply. I really don't know why the phone service is different it really annoys me.

     

    Hope you get it sorted >:D<<'>

     

    Justine that seems an awful lot to pay. We have the telly, broadband and phone from the same provider, and ours comes to approx £150 for 3 months. Have you tried talking to them to see if there is a cheaper package? They are always bringing out new offers, and we saw one advertised by a rival company and when we told our provider we were thinking of switching, they matched that offer.

     

    We also pay monthly which spreads the cost. We are with Virgin.

     

    Bid :)

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