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About bid

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  • Birthday 02/19/1966
  1. Just to let you know we went through this too, when my eldest son was rising 15. He was out of school for 6 months. The solution for us was a residential placement at an independent special school for AS/HFA...but my son was very keen to go there so that helped as he was able to write that this was what he wanted to all the professionals involved, and he came with me to visit, etc. We had similar trials with meds, until I took ful responsibilty for slowly taking him off everything, as none of them seemed to help. But obviously, this wouldn't be right for everyone. Have you considered a special school or special 6th form college? There are now even more independent ones that cater for young people with AS/HFA who don't have learning difficulties, so maybe want to access GCSEs, etc. A good place to start is to google Gabbitas, as they list all the special schools in the country. You could also google the Priory Group and the Hesley Group too. I can only echo Kathryn's post too, as it's very important to keep well yourself and keep some semblance of 'normal' life going for the rest of the family. Hang in there, and we are always here for support. Bid <'>
  2. bid

    Just a quick...

    Hey Smiley!! Happy Christmas to you too <'> Big A left home last year, and now lives independently in another city, working full-time and sharing a flat with the infamous Gilbo Hope you and your Ds are doing well! Bidx
  3. Tally, I don't mean this in an unkind way, but this is actually none of your business...they are both over the age of consent, and however naive you consider either of them to be they are making each other happy and if other people think they appear 'odd' or whatever because of the age gap, that is actually their problem. I think you will only cause yourself a world of trouble if you say anything...and indeed, what would you actually say? That you don't 'approve' of their relationship? Well, that's neither here nor there, and they will just tell you it's none of your business I'm afraid. However inappropriate you privately feel this friendship to be, I think you should keep it to yourself. You can always be supportive and kind to either or both of them if it fizzles out...or buy a new hat if they get married and live happily ever after Bid
  4. But Tally, if she is 18 then they aren't doing anything wrong at all. It may well be a large age gap, but that is really up to them. Maybe it won't work out, but then again maybe it will and if they are both happy that's actually really positive for both of them. Best stay well out of it if I were you Bid
  5. bid


    OK, you're probably not going to like what I'm going to say helped me reach acceptance! First of all, Sally has given you loads of really good advice. The secret is to have as positive an approach to life as you possibly can manage (that ole' glass half full!!). Secondly, looking outwards instead of constant introspection. Thirdly, doing something/anything that actually benefits others. And last of all, Sally is absolutely spot on when she says that you can use your dx to feel proud when you do accomplish the things you find difficult, and be gentle on yourself when you really can't manage something. One very, very useful and interesting thing I found out during 9 months of counselling was this: it is a complete fallacy to say 'this is how I am, I can't change'. We can all change ourselves if we really want to, and are prepared to work hard and acknowledge sometimes uncomfortable truths about ourselves. Good luck! Bid
  6. bid


    I think what you describe is very, very normal...it is certainly true for parents after a child is diagnosed with special needs. Whereas with grief the natural progression is to the acceptance stage, I read that for parents - and perhaps the diagnosed person too - there is a much more fluid movement between the stages, that can continue for a long time, especially during periods of difficulty or regression. Ultimately though people find themselves in the acceptance stage for longer and longer periods. This pattern has certainly happened for me as a parent of an adult with special needs, and I would also say for myself too post-dx. Simply put, it all takes time. I am in a very different place over my son's dx now than I was 16 years ago when it happened aged 6, and the same for myself 4 years post-dx. HTH Bridget
  7. Hi Tally, I guess if you do think he may have AS too, then perhaps taking a step back might help you think through why he has made these mistakes in his social communication over this issue, and maybe help to remove some of the annoyance? Hope you resolve things soon <'> Bid
  8. has 4 more nights and then that's me finished for Christmas!! :D

  9. has 4 more nights and then that's me finished for Christmas!! :D

  10. I think you are absolutely right! My DH often reads things posted on here, and asks why anyone thinks 'NT' people breeze through life with never a care or concern Bid
  11. Um, I'm not sure that's an exclusively autistic behaviour... Bid
  12. bid

    New Hand!

    Ack, that sounds painful Aeolienne! Bid
  13. I think the whole outfit looks really, really nice...and I especially love your second choice of boots. You're going to look fab! Bid
  14. is feeling really rough and woe! 5th night blues :((

  15. bid

    Just Joined

    Welcome to the forum I'm an adult with AS, and I also have an adult son with AS, ADHD and Dyspraxia. I work nights too, and right now I'm feeling that really rough 5th night on feeling before I get ready to go in...hoping the caffeine will kick in soon! Bid
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