bid
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Posts posted by bid
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Well how was I supposed to fathom that from your post?
I have ASD you know, I don't understand what you write and what to think about it 
I've been wide-awake for the last 5 nights since you wrote that 
(even though I don't think you wrote it 5 nights ago and I only just read it... 
) worrying intently about whether it included me and the possible negative ways I was being thought about if it didn't and the posible expectations I had to meet that couldn't possibly meet if it did include me... 
And then I started to worry about your 'know personally' comment, for what if you know or feel you know something about me that I dn't now you know or know myself? 
Okay, I'll stop now.
My fingers are hurting - it's the ASD from the sensory impact of them on the keyboard. Tsky tsky...you know we don't 'get' humour!!
And apologies for my pesky theory of mind assuming you would know I meant you too!
Bid
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*Huh hum* *coughs louder* *points to self*
Well, I had included you in my earlier post as 'one of the adults with AS I know personally'
It seems to me that it is a very basic of psychology that a positive, outward-looking approach to life and it's various challenges and problems is the most successful way to create a happy, positive life...
This approach has certainly worked for me, it was the parenting approach we took with my autistic son (and the other 3 too)...and of the other AS adults I know it appears to have worked for them too.
Possibly worth considering...
Bid
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Quick question as I try and fill out my form.
I have an issue (not related to ASD) - I have very lmited use of and can't feel pain in my left hand - it really doesn't bother me as I've found ways round it and it's not painful. However my consultant and physio insist that I need to take it more seriously, after they got involved when I put my hand on a hotplate without realising.
Do I put this onto my form even though to me it's not a problem?YES!!
Bid
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I remember you too, Jo!
Bid
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I of all people know what it is like to come across the wrong way - and for every extra sentence to just make things worse - I am used to people not understanding or misinterpreting me -
I'm sorry, Darkshine, but I think you are being a little bit disingenuous here...I think you had a pretty good understanding of the impact of your comments to me about cancer further up this thread.
BD you accuse me of saying that I blame autism for every negative - like you accuse a lot of others too - so how on earth can people discuss the things they want to understand, improve and address - without mentioning what these negatives are?!?!? If something was positive they wouldn't necessarily need to improve, understand or address it would they?!?I really do not see how virtually telling people who are trying to understand things that they are wrong, to shut up and stop moaning, or challenging them in such a way that a response is difficult, is a useful manner to improve attitudes, opinions, understandings etc - or even to present autism in a more positive perspective....
The frustrating thing is that I don't see much of the understanding, improving and addressing. A good example is the whole question of employment. I've lost count of the number of threads where those of us who give constructive advice are shouted down by people who believe certain jobs (invariably in retail for some reason) are 'beneath them'.
I feel that there are many adults posting here who say they want certain things out of life...but then shout down those of us who have actually achieved many of those things, as though we have no idea what we are talking about
Bid
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Yes. Of course that's what it is; 'twisting things people say', elegently and brilliantly ripping their words apart... couldn't be anything as simple or reasonable as disagreeing with them and/or finding the assumptions and conclusions they reach unreasonable, could it? How could it be an equal discussion? The above is a prime example of why that can't happen, because you've already set out the parameters; a victim (or group of victims) just trying to get along and a nasty ol' ogre hidin' under the bridge just waiting to pounce! And while you'll say that's another case of your words being twisted, or offer the 'justification' that it's just your nasty ol' autism that stops you being able to express yourself properly I think it would be patronising - however much you might want me to patronise you - to pretend that you didn't know exactly how your words would be received or perceived, either by me or by those who are willing to play along with you. I don't ask anyone to 'justify themselves' and I certainly don't need people to say things 100% perfect all the time, but I do find all the posturing, pretense and role assignment frustrating when I treat people who quite clearly are literate and capable as equals. I find it even more frustrating (frankly offensive) when they want to have their cake and eat it by 'playing up' or 'playing down' their autism / intellect as and when it's convenient.
L&P
BD
Very well put.
I never, ever thought I would say this, but increasingly I feel embarassed that I have a dx of AS when I read some of the opinions and attitudes expressed on this forum in recent months. I don't want people who know little about HFA thinking that this is what I, and the other adults who I personally know, are like
My idea of the positives of autism? People like my adult son, Pearl's adult son, Suze's lad with his tractors and his brilliant post a few days ago...these are all people with autism who are busy forging happy, independent, productive lives because they look outwards.
Bid
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I don't know why these topics make you angry tbh, and in all fairness I find it uncomfortable for someone to flash the terminal illness card so often -
Just to clarify Darkshine, to the best of my knowledge, I posted in Off Topic to say my mum had been diagnosed with breast cancer (at least one other member here has actually met my mum), and then in my thread about a London Meet I said I would be disappearing for a while a couple of days after her mastectomy as I was extremely busy at work plus making 50 mile round trips to see her...
This is 'flashing the terminal illness card so often'??
Hence my sarcastic 'thank you' in my next post.
Bid
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My 'thank you' was sarcastic, Darkshine.
Bid
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I don't know why these topics make you angry tbh, and in all fairness I find it uncomfortable for someone to flash the terminal illness card so often - I mean, what can people say to that? There's nothing to say at all, not without going into some pointless competitive type discussion of who has it worse (and I myself am trying not to measure myself against others).
Thank you for that comment Darkshine.
I have been a member here for over 7 years. There are now more adult members with a 'dx' of AS than ever before (I put that in inverted commas because these dxs range from formal through to home).
Yet I find I can only identify with three other diagnosed adults here, who have all overcome various personal difficulties to do their best to live productive, positive lives (and one is my adult son).
It angers me because I see self-indulgent naval gazing instead of a 'can do-will do' attitude to autism.
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This is a very personal response. Over the last few months there has been a lot of self-analysis here by people who are at the high-functioning end of the spectrum.
How about you all look at the very many positives in your lives?
I have a dx of AS. I have also got 4 children. My mum is currently being treated for breast cancer...and today I have been referred for an urgent mammogram as my GP has certain concerns about me.
I wish all I had to worry about was having AS or over-analysing every tiny aspect of my personality and life.
Apologies if this offends, but I think people need to get some realism and perspective.
Bid
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What a lovely post Suze!! Well done to your lad, and to you for supporting and helping him all the way
<'> Hope there's lots of celebrations for all of you out there who have lived through this summer
Bid
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Ah well, acid 74...
I guess all those people doing 'menial' jobs, like my son, actually have the last laugh, don't they...seeing as how they are living independently in the real world, earning their own money, doing their own thing.
My son, through his 'menial' job, has just moved out of the little studio flat he started in last year and into a lovely 2 bed flat (with dishwasher!!
). Not bad for someone of 22 who left home at 21, and has always worked since leaving education Bid
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Hi bid -
I'm pretty sure you know I'm not offended by the supernanny dolly stuff because it's quite clear from me joining in. Not sure why you would say it, actually, unless using what appears to be an apology as a way of disguising (possibly endorsing?) the genuine malice of a post accusing me of 'bullying' by someone espousing opinions you very recently seem to have come to agree with.
Really at a loss too to understand how the two things are similar, or how they connect to a good natured, 'fun' thread that ran years ago (yes, a very long time since we had one of those...), but hey ho.
L&P
BD
Well, I guess the Batcave analogy popped into my head because it was Suze who commented about you possibly being offended, and I was replying to her rather than you, if that makes sense...
Bid
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...Baddad has had jokes about being in love with said lady...by various members which may or may not have offended himOh dear, thought that bit of joshing was actually far tamer than the Batcave days
Apologies if I offended BD then
Bid
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Have a lovely day, all of you!
Bid
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Reception class teacher, then the school referred him to the school doctor who referred to a paediatric neurologist, who diagnosed Dyspraxia (rising 6). At the same time, also seen by the community paed. who then referred at 7 to a specialist diagnostic centre for childhood disability, where he was given the primary diagnosis of AS, with ADHD and Dyspraxia as co-morbids.
This was 15 odd years ago, before CDCs.
Bid
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A social story using picture symbols to explain to him what is going to happen might be helpful too.
Bid
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My son, who has AS, ADHD and Dyspraxia had a GA when he had to have an MRI scan when he was 6 to see if he had a tumour on his spine or brain. More recently, in June, my NT daughter had complex major surgery on her hand that had been left disabled after a car accident.
It is hard to see them drift off to sleep, but the nursing and surgical team are always lovely and will let you stay with him until he is asleep. The main thing is to keep your tears for afterwards, so that you are as reassuring as possible for your son. Both mine were allowed to take a favourite cuddly toy into the anaesthetic room with them too.
Good luck,
Bid
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And behaving like people in novels/or expecting people to behave like they do in novels definitely isn't a great guideline I've also found
Oh wow! Never found anyone else who did/does this...I guess it's quite a clever coping strategy for a child when you think about it, just not so useful as you get older!
Do you still find yourself thinking 'X character in Y novel did so-and-so, so it's OK for me to do the same...'??
Bid
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Apoligises my post was not meant to be for you. I am new here and might not be replying correctly. I was replying to A and A or thought i had. Yes there should be sensitivity on both sides im not disagreeing at all.
No worries!
If you want to reply and include a quote, you just click on the 'reply' box at the bottom right hand of the post you want to quote. The window containing the quote will appear, and then you just click underneath the quote to start typing your own comment!
HTH
Bid
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JAK, I'm not sure if you have quoted me because your previous comment applies to my post, saying that I think Aspergers has 'stolen my limelight'?
Can I just clarify that I have a formal dx of AS myself, and an adult son with AS, ADHD and Dyspraxia. He has had significant mental health problems, including a breakdown when he was 14/15.
I also work with some children and young people with the most profound form of autism, so maybe I can see both sides?
As I said, I think there needs to be sensitivity on both sides.
Bid
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Finally, a question for A & A. If you're so sceptical about Asbergers, why are you on this forum at all?
Eccentric, this is, and has always been, a forum for all ASD, and if I remember correctly, A and A has a child who has more classic autism (apologies A and A if I haven't described your child appropriately).
Bid
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I think there needs to be sensitivity on both sides. I've read comments by people who say they have AS (often turns out to be a home-dx) about their superiority to NT people, or obsessively focusing on themselves.
I can see how insensitive that might look to parents of children with severe autism.
Bid
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Personally I think this discussion about fiction/fact illustrates exactly the dangers of such quizzes.
I have a formal dx of AS. But I love reading fiction, and avoid factual books. However, what is relevant is the fact that I can't picture any of the characters in a book, and neither do I see the whole book like a film in my head (as friends have told me they do). I only read the words, I don't see anything in my head. I also had a problem when I was younger of using behaviour in novels as a model for my own reactions to things in real life, and I still have to guard against referring to novels to decide what I should do/how I should behave.
And my adult son, who has had a formal dx since the age of 7 and went to a residesi school for AS, has an obsession with fictional films and film-making (very creative and fictional
).So, as I tried to explain earlier, these quizzes shouldn't be used in isolation, and in my opinion can give people (more often) a false positive, or indeed (less often) a false negative.
Bid
NVLD or Aspergers, NHS or private! Help!
in Help and Advice
Posted · Report reply
Can it sparkle too, please?
Bid