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Sunderland LEA had my eldest son on the roll of his school from year 7 to year 11 and David had not attended school from the November in year 7! This was because Sunderland LEA could not offer us a suitable placement for David. We realised after a couple of years that they had no suitable placements to offer him and that was why we embarked on HE. But they continued to hold his name on roll and were obvisouly receiving funding for him until 'WE' finally had his name removed from the roll in year 11. Needless to say the LEA never once threatend up with legal action and David's attendance. Also maybe this is being picky but PDA is not a complicated form of Aspergers. PDA is a seperate condition which stands alone. So this lad may have Aspergers and PDA but it is not part of AS. Carole

Hi Lisa, Sorry this is a very late reply - my dad died at the weekend - I will try and answer your questions Did your son have a statement? No Matthew did not have a statement we had tried and tried to obtain one but failed. I was wondering if the LEA are still obliged to make provision for home educated kids who have statements. No and they may expect you to follow the statement you would need to find out what needs to be done if a statement were involved. But I am on an excellent HE list that could answer all of your questions and give you the help you require. Would they still provide SALT and Ed Psych input? Yes Matthew still gets SALT and much more of it but I think that we are one of the few who do. Would the ASD outreach visit us if we wanted them to? Yes we are awaiting a visit from this team at the moment. If you have other questions please feel free to ask them. Carole

Hi Lisa, I have been home educating my son David now almost 17 for the last 6 years and mys son Matthew now 7 for the last two years. I can honestly say that home ed saved our sanity and as a family gave us back a quality of life that we never had before HE. Both of my sons hated mainstream, in fact David had a total breakdown aged 11 - pre diagnosis - and never made it back to school. It's not that I am anti - school - being Chair of Governors at Matthw's school for almost 12 years I knew the system from the inside out and realised that mainstream was never ever going to meet their needs. Neither were able to attend a special school, although again unless it's ASD specific I have reservations, so we bit the bullet two years ago and now DIY educate both boys. We have seen David change from a very introverted and obsessive young man into a lad who now has a better social life then we do and Matthew has lost many of his autistic manerisms altogether since we de-reged him. Both boys used to cling to their routines and this made everday life very difficult. But once we took school out of the equation we found that they no longer lived life in a hyper state of anxiety and as they began to relax their obsessive need for routine and rules of engagement for all situations just began to fade away. We can always tell now if either of the boys are un-happy or worried because their need for specific routine and instructions begins to creep in again. There are some excellent lists to join should you decided to take the plunge and we also joined a local EO group and we pick and chose our outings and activities. Carole

I always felt like the odd one out in the school yard and was never included into the 'clicks' either. It's hard enough being a parent of a child with a disability, and trying hard for them to be accepted and to fit in, without other parents making you feel like a misfit yourself. But it did help me to understand how my two sons must feel at times and it's not nice. Since we de-reged Matthew he does not see that the other children all have party invitations and that he has again been left out and I don' have to stand all on my own in the school yard. My friends have been just as bad as some of the school parents and we find we are no longer included into their circle either. So we found new friends - friends who also have children with autism and understand - Matthew now has a friend called Alex who also has autism and his mum and I have been amazed at how well they get on with each other - and if they do melt down then we at least understand. We may not live next door to his friend but they call each other and are really making a go of their friendship. So yes there is hope you just have to look else where for it sometimes. Carole

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