Purdy_1

I didnt go through my GP at all . The last time I went to him for help for my son I walked out with a prescription for Lustral . I had come to the end of my tether with him and went to see my younger sons H/V . It was the health visitor that refered me to the clinical nurse he sees now because my son was having thoughts of dying , death (not suicidal and he was only just turned 9 at the time) , self harming through frustration . We started seeing his nurse (shes from the Children & Adolescent mental health service) in January 2003 . Along the way we discovered many things , mostly about me and as a result I am also in councelling with a phsyco therapist (sp?) We have come a long way in the past 18 mths or so . It was my sons nurse who suggested to us he has mild autism and when I looked it up I was overwhelmed with a sense of relief that we had finally found a reason for his behaviour . He is not severely affected but I do worry that if he has thoughts of wanting to die now , what will happen when he is 13 or 14 and facing exams at school ? Highschool itself can be so daunting . I dont want him playing truant because he cant cope . I have been told he will inevitably have problems when he goes to seniors (sept 2005) as he will have many classrooms , teachers and more lessons to cope with . I will do whatever I can for my son .

Quick update - My sons nurse come out yesterday and we have started the process of getting him diagnosed . She asked us lots of questions (thank god she understood them lol) next step is to get the school to fill in their bit . Then she will present it to the Drs and see if there is enough evidence for an assessment . I have very mixed feelings . I almost feel that I am labelling him myself by asking for an assessment . I dont know how he will react to this . We have agreed not to tell him anything until he has to go see the Drs . If they think there is not enough evidence then he doesnt need to know anything .

This bullying and letter incident was way before we had any idea he may have ASD . I will be seeing the SENCO as soon as they return to school after the Easter holidays .

My son gets called "ginger pubes and freak " because he has freckles . They say " freckles is spelt F-R-E and so is freak so he must be a freak ". I have been to the school about it and to my face they were lovely telling me they will watch out for it . Next thing I know I had a letter outlining an incident my son was involved in where he hit another child . He wont let me involve the school no more as he gets picked on worse . What can I do ?

Thank you so much for your replies to my posts . You will never know how much they mean to me - to have someone who "understands" . I am in shock , turmoil and god knows what else right now . For so long I have had problems with my son but never for a second did I think it would be this . We just thought he was acting stupid most of the time and would tell him to behave or grow up . When he gets embarassed he will get angry or have a tantrum . I cant stress how much I need to know whats normal and what isnt in the things he does . We have lived with him for 10 yrs and have nothing to compare him to so I wouldnt know what would be considered ASD and whats normal . I have started making notes about things he does and has done in the past . It will be up to whoever does the diagnosis (if I get that far) to deem whats what . Sorry if Im rambling ...

We were told about his possible ASD about 2 months ago . I was devestated , it was the last thing we would ever have thought of and come completley out of the blue . I grieved for my son and cried . At first we didnt want him to be diagnosed and she said it wouldnt do him any favours and that was even "if" we got a diagnosis at all . I need to know and will do what I can to get a diagnosis one way or another .

I have told his teacher what the clincial nurse said and he said " it explains alot " . My son is not aware of ASD or anything in relation to Autism . He gets bullied at school for having red hair and freckles so already thinks he isnt normal . I dont want to add any more fuel to his fire so we havent told him anything . I dont wish to tell him anything until I absolutley have to . As for taking things litterally ... I say alot of things and he is usually fine with them . He is very unsympatheic to me though so when I say things like " Go away , youre doing my head in " he doesnt go away . He continues to bug me until Im practically at exploding point . I dont know about not getting jokes . We havent known about his possible ASD to test it out but last weekend when we were going to be staying overnight in a B&B I said his brother would have to wear a nappy cus he still wets the bed occassionally and that the hotel will call the police if his brother wet the bed . He thought I was serious . How much of that is a normal 10 yr old ? I dont know ...

My son has been seeing a clinical nurse . She is the sort of nurse kids see when they have attempted suicide . My son hasnt done this but has said things like " I wish I wasnt alive " or " I dont want to live no more " . He has never said he wanted to kill himself and at the time of saying these things he would have only been about 9 . She is the person who has come to the conclusion about my son being mildly on the cusp of autistic . I am just pretty peeved at people trying to compare my son to theirs saying oh hes just a typical boy when he forgets to flush the loo or wipe his own rear end . A comment he made a few yrs ago now comes to mind when asked if he wiped his bum . He said " but I did that yesterday " . Im wondering how much of that is a normal response or how much of it is questionable ? These are the sort of problems I have with him . He is ruled by time when we go anywhere . He needs to know how long it takes to get there , how long we will be there , if its to a shopping centre he has to know how many shops we will go in . Then after all that he will try to calculate the time we will arrive home . If we go into a shop that I didnt expect he will declare that Im a liar ! He cannot for the life of him use a knife and fork now matter how many times he is shown . Is so much more of a messy eater than his 4 yr old brother . Gets angry when his laces come undone . As far as he is concerned he did them and they should not come undone . He is such a sloppy dresser , he will come downstairs with his trousers tucked unto his socks , t shirt or top tucked into his pants and the pants waistband above his trousers on show . When he comes out of school he will carry his bag , jumper , coat , lunchbox and any letters or homework . I know alot of these things will seem like normal kid stuff but how many do you draw the line at ? There are so many more things that I could honestly be here all day listing . Im desperate for some kind of recognition or diagnosis for my own sanity . I feel guilty if I tell him off for things because I dont know if its just him beling lazy or if there genuinely is a problem .

My son (now 10) was born 5 weeks prematurly . I had pre eclampsia and was induced . 9 hours of labour without dialating , 2 failed epidurals and being hooked up to a drip to speed things up , I went from 2cm - 9cm in 1 hour . His heartbeat dropped so much they lost it and I was rushed in for a c section . His head was so mishapen because it had swelled up against my cervix which had also swelled up against the pressure . Apart from jaundice he was fine . He caught up with his age pretty quick and passed all of the milestone tests apart from mobility which he was recalled 2 weeks later and passed . He used to headbang from about the age of 1 and will still headbutt his younger brother if he is really irritated . He couldnt tolerate lumpy food until he reached about the age of 3-4 . He would live on instant mash and gravy , yoghurts etc . Alot of the things he does friends will tell me that their children are the same etc or its just a boy thing , Im sick of hearing it . He gets aggressive very easily and will thump himself on the legs or slap his own face . If hes having a tantrum he will drop the floor and refuse to budge even when people are having to walk around him to get by . For such a long time we just thought he was so immature and because he is our oldest we didnt have another child to compare him to so probably didnt look into his behaviour and notice things like we are doing now .

Hi , Im a mother of 2 boys 10 & 4 . My oldest son was unofficially said to be " very very mildly - on the cusp of - autistic " . I was told that it is so mild I wouldnt get a diagnosis and it wouldnt do my son any favours . After researching more into the traits I now disagree . I am just trying to make sense of all the information there is out there . I have alot of friends who tell me " oh yeah , my son does the same " . If I hear about someone elses son once more ... When I was first reading up on things I thought my son cant have it because he doesnt have an obsession , but while talking to someone from an Aspergers and Autism centre I was told his obsession seems to be time . I am so lost and dont know where to begin . I was told to see my sons SENCO at school which I will do when they return in just over a week . Im wary of going to my DR as I went to him about 2 yrs ago about my sons behaviour and I walked out with a prescription for Lustral for me . If anyone has any suggestions please let me know .