Bard
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Posts posted by Bard
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I'm sad.
Don't know why - just am.
Hmph.
Don't be sad smiley, have a hug
<'> have another hug
<'> Have a smile to put on until your real one comes back
be grateful that you are not unpacking B's bag after his trip, because he hates showers and will only have baths.
And there were no baths 'but I did wash...'
And I've just found the remains of the packed lunch he took with him on Friday
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I didn't want to post before, in case I jinxed it.
B has just returned from a residential educational trip with his school, and the support for him before and during was fantastic!
It was three nights in dormitory accommodation, two days of strenuous educational activities and over 300 miles away from home.
They did a risk assessment for the trip, and one specifically for him, came up with a list of ways they were going to ensure his needs were understood and met.
Then they emailed everything to me and asked for my input.
The SENCO was in touch, and the leader of the trip, and nothing that I suggested was dismissed or regarded as weird.
B's come back delighted, enthusiastic about what he saw and did, and the teacher said it had been no trouble and B had been great. And he looked as if he meant it too!
So some schools believe in Inclusion, and are prepared to put in the effort and communication necessary to make sure that it works, and B is lucky enough to be in one of them.
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I decided to step out of a potential virtual argument, but I'm in total agreement with what you've written teachermum.
It's also a question of schools being honest, reliable and consistent about providing the support promised on SA+, and that's where, I think, that many people on the forum have been badly let down by their schools.
Many don't trust the education department, or teachers to do their job, and see the majority of professionals in education as deceitful and indifferent to their children's needs.
So they see a Statement as the equivalent of a contract signed in blood that is unbreakable. And they want one for their child.
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The Primary school are being very obstructive, and unreasonably so.
When my son transferred, he wasn't going to the main feeder secondary. Nevertheless, the primary and secondary collaborated well for his benefit.
He had 4 afternoon visits, accompanied by a LSA from primary. He met three key people, was shown his areas and allowed to explore and discuss with the adults. Before the visits, they asked what his favourite lessons were, so he had 2 science experiences and 2 art. Everyone that he met knew his name. He collected a list of his teachers for next year, a timetable and a map of the school.
When he went with the other 7 children from his school who were going to be moving up with him, he was calm and happy about the whole idea.
I sent him up with an A4 sheet to be distributed to his teachers, a sort of guide to handling him. Most of them read it and found it helpful.
Your primary has handled this badly, and I would not only go ahead and organise things myself, but I'd be writing an
'I am very disappointed...' letter to the Governors, pointing out that they failed and mislead the SEN children in their care, and insisting that a close eye be kept on this next year. Too late for your daughter, not too late to name and shame.
Sounds like next year will be much better!
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I bought myself an MP3 player!
And there's probably not a single track that Baddad would approve of, or my husband, but I don't care.
I've got a mixture of rock chick and hippy available to my ears only, with no one heckling because I've got the volume up too loud for their criticisms of my taste to penetrate.
And I worked out how to load the tracks on myself, an insignificant achievement for some, to me, enormous.
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When I was pregnant first time round, I was at a point in my life when I had to fight to stay over 7 stone, and when the morning sickness kicked in, I was losing weight fast.
So I was prescribed build up milkshakes that were available over the counter.
The only flavour I could retain was vanilla!
They made a big difference, and my daughter was fine.
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So even with a Statement, J is having a dreadful time at school and can't wait to get out of there. It must be horrible to have to make him attend.
Do you think that it's because he didn't get a Statement from the beginning? or do you think that the school could be doing other things to help him?
I'm not having a go, I'm seriously interested in hearing from the parent of a boy who is so different to my own, even two years ago when mine was 11.
I thought that there were schools, not mainstream, that catered for more able children with specific needs. Some of the parents on the forum have got children who are in such schools, like hev's Steve.
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I think things like this are preventable. I also wonder if he was having any support from professionals. I see so many stories like this where crimes/tragedies could have been prevented if people were doing their job a little better
But could they be prevented?
And which people are you meaning that should be doing their jobs a little better?
Teachers, Social Workers, the police, Psychologists...their families?
In order to ensure that the vulnerable are never exploited or mislead, are you proposing 24/7 monitoring by professionals? What happens to free will and empowering people with disabilities to live an independent life?
To never be allowed to make decisions that adults take for granted are theirs to make.
This was a dreadful incident, but sometimes the answer is a lot more complicated than
and the consequences of proper safeguards can have a real negative impact. -
if we all bring stiletto heels we can tattoo Baddad with the slogan of our choice for picking on persons of petite stature.And yet again, it's a pick on Baddad thread!
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Suze, don't you think that there is a very fine line between 'funny' and 'hurtful', especially when the banter is at other people's expense?Personally I felt Mumble and BD's comments about me in this thread crossed that line , and I don't see why I should just say nothing. So I attempted to use a little bit of humour back to point out how they had made me feel.
I wasn't trying to start a row, but as I say, if a joke at my expense upsets me, why should I just say nothing?
Bid
I think it's better to say things clearly, and give others the opportunity to recognise and understand that another person's view of the same post might be different.
The tricky thing is to do so without feeling cross and upset about it, and I thought you managed that rather well bid.
I do this sort of intervention rather a lot with B who often takes a joke too far, and with my OH who can't understand why others get upset when an academic debate becomes heated, and he is sometimes dismissive and cutting about others opinions that he thinks are incorrect.
Then he's puzzled why the individuals concerned won't sit next to him in the lunchbreak, because for him ripping an argument to shreds is distinct from how he feels about the person making the argument.
My NT daughter has the same problem with her English Language group. She doesn't pick up vibes!
It was an interesting paper Tally, and it generated some interesting and varied debate, so that's a good thing.
Bid felt a bit p*ssed off and said so, and that is much better than being obscure and hurt and sulky ( not you Bid, an option that some I know in RL take. I'm upset with you, you have 134 guesses as to why, because I'm not tellin')
Suze, put your feet up and have a chocolate bar, you need the calories after all that running.
Oh, got to ask. How tall are you really? I'm 5'1" and Pearl is a whisker taller, so if we all bring stiletto heels we can tattoo Baddad with the slogan of our choice for picking on persons of petite stature.
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<'> Deep breath, make yourself a cup of tea and think about it.Firstly, feeling sad, guilty and upset is natural, but won't help either of you.
Parenting has an enormous amount of guilt attached to it, whether your child is NT or not. You can spend hours in the night thinking of all the things you could have done differently, and end up feeling that you are a rubbish parent (Speaking from personal experience)
Yes, children forget things if there is an interval in the learning process, and if it is a new skill, or one they are not comfortable or enthusiastic about, they forget more comprehensively. All children, but those with SEN often seem to forget more.
I have a book with notes, and hundreds of post-it notes because after every holiday I forget how my interactive whiteboard and the software work. I'm not keen on computers and I'm a late-comer to them.
Take her to the pool when you can, and get in the water and play. Have fun, in a non-stressful environment and the skills that she had will emerge.
And stop beating yourself up about feeling that you didn't get round to doing something.
Sometimes there is only so much effort and energy one person can put into things, no one can be super human 24/7 or even 12/24. I have days when all B and I have done is mooch around and watch TV or read. Sometimes we don't even get out of our pjs.
Although, like many, I would only admit that on an anonymous forum. Most people fall at some of the fences, most don't own up to it, so those that do can feel very alone.
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I'm not getting sidetracked, honest.
One of the small things that comforts me when I feel like a bad parent for not recognising B's AS much earlier in his life is when I study his father.
I am convinced that my OH has AS, but he's a very high-flying Oxbridge academic, so huge knowledge about very specific areas, working obsessively on something til it's done, regardless of time scale, people coming a poor second to the research/focus...it all counts as admirable and normal in certain spheres.
He had very few people skills when I met him, and two friends, but was respected academically by many.
There were many other traits that he has, but I didn't recognise them as such until I began learning about ASDs, some 20 years into the relationship. Then I had one of those....Oohh, I get it moments.
He has learnt more social skills, given the motivation ( I'll leave it up to you to work out what that was!
) but he's still very, very clever and given to forgetting those skills when some more pressing need ( in his opinion) overwhelms it.This isn't about anyone else, it isn't a dig or an attack, it's just about my marriage. Sometimes my OH is the most unintentionally selfish and self-centred man on the planet.
It's not always on purpose, but I think not feeling guilty or worried about others helps him to make that choice, sometimes other people don't even register on his radar. As if he's entirely alone and loving the clarity and simplicity of choosing not to identify and thus deal with other people that make emotional demands on him. So he can focus on what he wants and needs to do. I've never had an apology for anything in the 25 years of our relationship, but he was 28 when we met. With B, he has learnt social strategies and is still learning them, with encouragement and rewards and explanations along the way, but maybe for OH it's too late?
Genius? I think it does exist, although not in my OH. What genius lacks is often the vision to see the practical applications of a line of thought or invention. Just to work on the idea is the motivation, often without having a choice about it.
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And those of us that never even notice the list-thingie can abstain and have a party instead.
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Cheers, Mumble/BD!Yeah, guess that's why I managed to totter through a higher degree, etc, etc...
Bid
plus whatever emoticon is for two fingers!You know that question that gets asked so often..'Given a choice, would you rather be clever and ugly or gawjuss and thick?'
You chose clever and gawjuss.
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Thanks Flora, that makes sense to me.
Some of my SEN's go out to play learning games or have physio-type activities that need more participants, so that's why they are sometimes in groups .
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The thread currently below yours is about SA+, and this is one of the things I get confused about.
I have 8 children with IEPs in my class, none have AS. Three of them are on SA+, and each is entitled to and gets 10 hours a week of extra support, in addition to all the in class adaptations and strategies that I put in such as differentiated work and equipment. Some of that support is 1:1, some is up to 1:4.
My son is on SA+. and the SENCO and Ed Psych both told me that the school can put in up to 20 hours of support before a Statement is needed to provide more funding for more hours.
Yet your son's Statement is for less than that?
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I have been told that she struggled with her english comp test and only answered questions on every other page on purpose. I have asked my dd about this, she said that she didnt know the answers to most of the questions but tried to answer some of them and was then sent back to answer some more but she did not know what to write.Did she write on the right hand pages only? If she was stressed, she might not even have registered that there was information on the LHS.
Two of my SEN children do this on occasion, and they ignore LHS pages in their own maths/literacy books sometimes as well.
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mmm.... my hubby is also hopeless at DIY so that wouldn't work. In fact I have yet to discover his true talents (after 20+ years together!) Actually, he is very good at buying and selling old tins and collecting vast amounts of junk - that must count for something!!!!???Stella x
We could put your with mine and sell them as a matching pair.
Mine collects woodworking tools and old cameras. Never knowingly sold anything though...just collects.
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<'> Well, that needs stamping on and early too. Just when things are beginning to work out.
My dad's diabetic, and no one has ever said
'He's doing so well you know, I don't think that he really needs all that insulin...'
Back to the hidden disability trap.
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B tries to make a present match what he knows the person likes.
However his sense of taste is questionable in many of his choices, and he likes charity shops.
So for a gift to someone of exquisite taste, living in a colour co-ordinated dream of cream and gold in a childless house, he wouldn't understand why a giant china cat from Brighton Pier, with green and orange spots and a Kiss Me Quick hat wasn't well received...
'Because she likes cats'
We're working on it, but getting someone to tell him what they really want and then letting him buy it gives him as much satisfaction.
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Bard is right - some children's needs can be met at Action/ Action Plus; they are not intended to be temporary UNLESS the child's needs cannot be met, in which case a child would progress to a Statement.Only a small number of children need statements, which provide the greatest level of help. Other children can manage on School Action Plus and a smaller amount of help.
In my authority, the LEA won't consider Statementing unless 6 months has been spent on School Action Plus, but that's because the schools have to be seen to have tried other options before Statementing. It's not a rule that a child can ONLY spend 6 months on School Action Plus.
The key to remember is that the ONLY legal criteria for a Statement is that a school cannot meet a child's needs from its own resources.
My son spent 6 months on Early Years Action Plus and was then Statemented just in time for primary school.
He will never be on School Action Plus, partly because I would never let go of the legal protection that the Statement gives and partly because I can't see how he will ever function safely without full time support. But if he was milder, then I wouldn't care what the support was called as long as it met his needs.
<'> ThanksI'm not going mad then.
B is on School Action+, and the support he receives is exactly what he needs to thrive in the mainstream school environment he is in.
He is Y8, his grades are all 6 or 7, except PE, he is happy and so are the school. He gets no support in class other than the teacher adapting the learning environment to his needs. I feel that a Statement is unnecessary for him.
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So in your son's case, the school failed him.
The whole point of having a budget is to manage the money so that it doesn't run out, and an IEP runs for 4 months before review, so his support should have been secure. If his needs aren't being met, then SA+ isn't adequate and the Statementing process should be implemented.
That case is a little different to the initial reaction of shock and horror that your post sent through me, that for years I have been supporting children on SA+ for more than 6 months not knowing that to do so was wrong.
I try to do a good job as a teacher for all of the children I have a duty of care for, and I was very concerned that a ruling had changed that I was unaware of and had thus been negligent in my job.
Different children with SEN have different levels of need, and a Statement, in my opinion is unnecessary for every individual on the SEN register in a school. SA and SA+ are useful tools to define and meet certain levels of support.
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This is from a government website for teachers:
School-based interventions, statutory assessments and Statements of SEN
Where children do not respond to differentiation and do not make adequate progress, there is a need for the school to do something additional or different. This school based SEN provision is described in the Code as School Action and School Action Plus. A similar system is set out for early education settings and described as Early Years Action and Early Years Action Plus.
School Action could be further assessment, additional or different teaching materials or a different way of teaching and it might sometimes, but not always, be additional adult support. Teachers use Individual Education Plans (IEPs) to record the different or additional provision to be made for the child, teaching strategies, short-term targets for the pupil, success criteria, and what they have achieved.
School Action Plus is where School Action has not helped the child to make adequate progress, and the school asks for outside advice from the LEA's support services, or from health or social work professionals. This could be advice from a speech and language therapist on a language programme or an Occupational Therapist's suggestions or a medical diagnosis and report giving recommendations as to how to work differently with the child in class. It might be information about the child's home circumstances that explains the changes in the child's behaviour and attitudes to learning which can then help the school to work with others to resolve the situation.
The key test for taking School Action, moving to School Action Plus, or considering whether a statutory assessment is necessary is whether the child is making adequate progress. The Code defines 'adequate progress' and lists different kinds of progress, depending on the starting point and expectations for a particular child. Essentially, what is considered to be adequate progress for a particular child is a matter for the teacher's professional judgement.
Most children will have their special educational needs met by their school through School Action and School Action Plus. But that will not be possible all the time. If a child?s needs cannot be met through School Action Plus, the LEA may consider the need for a statutory assessment and, if appropriate, makes a multi-disciplinary assessment.
Following that, the LEA may decide to make and implement a Statement of Special Educational Needs setting out the child's needs in detail and the special educational provision to be made for them. The Statement must be reviewed at least annually. Either of the school-based interventions may result in satisfactory provision and progress by the pupil and therefore no need for a statutory assessment or a statement.
The Code stresses the importance of working in partnership with parents in all aspects of the pupil's education, and of the pupil's participation in making decisions and exercising choices in relation to their own education. This can help the pupil's progress.
So that's why I've not heard of it as statutory. For many children, the level of support and intervention is appropriate at SA and SA+ Only when it isn't do they move to the statementing process.
I'm fairly sure that B will stay at SA+ throughout his schooling, that level of support is what he needs.
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SA+ For 2 years, funny that, J was on this for three years, yets a childs only suppose to be on this for up 6 months, basically, if done by scop,(schools,code of practice, your son should of recieved a statement by now, has he got any IEPs, and if so has there been any progress, what areas of his socialising difficulties are the main signs, is there any learning difficulties, reading, writing, ect.... will he require 1-1 support in the classroom.If I knew what I know now J wouldnt have been on a SA+=%$� for more than 12 months.
Look throw his IEPs, and request an assessment of SEN for possible statementing so he can recieve the hours he needs, not what the School LEA want to give him.
J has a statement of SEN now.
JsMum
I've never heard of this rule either.
SA+ is when external agencies are involved with the needs of a specific child. I have taught and known numerous children who will be on SA+ for their entire school career. My son is one of them.
Where did you get this piece of information from, out of curiosity?
Residential trip
in Education
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Well, this is a boy whose default setting is anger, and who stormed his way through most of his school life, having internal exclusions, isolations and proper out-of-school exclusions. He was given to hitting those that had upset or annoyed him.
But both his primary and secondary never gave up on him; working out strategies, discarding ones that didn't work, restraining his behaviour with sanctions when it was dangerous to him and those around him. Constantly working with me to create solutions.
He was always allowed on school trips with reasonable safeguards and a designated adult, even his Y6 activity residential week.
This was his first overnight from secondary, I didn't let him go to France and he didn't want to be part of the exchange!
I didn't fancy having to go and get him from a foreign country, with DEPORTED on his passport.