Bard
-
Content Count
1,777 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Posts posted by Bard
-
-
One of the main things is that this lad keeps running up behind Jay and shouting 'BOO!' very loudly at him. It's making him a nervous wreck and now he feels anxious and that he has to keep looking over his shoulder, anticipating attacks!
Well, let me add my bit as the parent of an able AS boy in mainstream, Y7.
In the Autumn term. when this happened to my boy, he belted the child in question.
Then he stormed off shouting, hitting bins, bags or children that got in his way.
He found a corner to calm down, and then a teacher caught up with him.
This happened on three occasions. He was given a 3 day 'leave of absence' the first time, then he was internally excluded and had to work in the Deputy's office for a day. The third time, he spent 2 days working in the Learning Support Unit.
During that time, the school worked extremely hard to develop strategies, give B a place to go if he felt stressed, worked on informing all the teachers about how to handle incidents, set up rules for G, and a pass card so he could head to the LDC if things were going wrong. The Senco has been fantastic. He's now got a named individual member of staff who is on call and mentoring B to help him cope.
This school is mainstream, as I said, and has more than 1500 pupils.
How much better should Jay be treated in a unit that is supposed to be full of ASD trained teachers and support workers?
Why should he be marginalised and neglected because his behaviour is not a danger to others?
My boy's reaction to things he finds upsetting is aggression, and he has been lucky with his school.
It is unbelievable that you are going to have to be as aggressive and proactive as you can be,in order to get a better education for your child.
No child can learn if they are afraid.
-
I'm delighted you had a fantastic day and enjoyed Oxford, as well as each other's company.
Did fiorelli make it or not? The suspense continues.
Next time, try punting on the Cherwell....see smiley, not boring at all!
-
B was assessed by Camhs in late Oct 2004, when he was 9,and got a dx of Aspergers. We received the report in early December, and the school got an edited copy in mid January.
I was given the option of editing the report as there was delicate info about other members of my family in it which was not relevant for the school to know.
I'd ring them tomorrow, they must be used to people less patient than yourself asking from the day after the dx.
-
I love your post and am delighted to agree...although mine is only 12.
That's exactly what I thought when I read the news article...never gonna be my boy!
It helps you through some of the trickier moments, when you think of all the teenage traumas we are unlikely to have to live through.
And because your post gave me hope for the future, I will crush the green-eyed monster within me, and hope you had a fantastic time.
Shakespeare
King Lear
Ian Mckellen
only 5 more years to go!
-
B was assessed by Camhs in Oct 2004, when he was 9,and got a dx of Aspergers. We received the report in December, and the school got an edited copy.
I was very honest about our family history, and was allowed to say if I wanted certain info about my family removed before it was sent to the school.
There was a follow up appointment in April, but we also had some positive help and suport from them in between.
The initial meeting involved 2 people, a Consultant Clinical Psychologist and a Specialist Child Psychiatrist.
B had been referred by our GP.
They asked questions about the whole family, grandparents, uncles/aunties, husband etc.
They wanted to know about differences at home and at school for as far back as I could go, and about pregnancy/birth problems.
They focused on:
Current Functioning: Verbal and non-verbal communication
Social interactions: Adults
Children
Relationships in general and specifically with relatives, other adults, peers, school group
situations and play.
Repetitive behaviours
Empathy
Sensory Hypo-sensitivity abd Hyper-sensitivity
Extreme emotional outbursts
Activity levels, Impulsivity and Concentration span
Personality
School's view: They spoke to the Head who had been very involved and supportive of us
They also contacted the class teacher and Senco, and had copies of his IEP which was focused on
behaviour management, not ASD
Developmental history
Attachment
Significant Life Events
Medical history
There was a Clinical Psychology assessment where B went on his own with the Psych. That took about 40 mins, and whilst he was gone we discussed all the personal/private stuff.
There was no physical medical stuff done at all, and there hasn't been any since, but all of our children are such individuals that the responses must be different in so many cases.
B has no learning difficulties, and is AA in several areas.
It's the social communication bit with other children in unstructured situations. And he tends to respond with aggression, often physical, to anyone in his space or in his way. He's got most of the other Aspie traits as well.
He's at a mainstream secondary who are working really hard and appropriately to help him, and we have had a lot of contact with them.
My experience of Camhs was only positive. They signed him off when he was 10, but told me to contact them if I needed any support whatsoever, especially in the transition between Primary/secondary.
I hope you have a similar experience.
-
dd is in year 1 she can read 6 keywords in total but unable to link them together, she does get extra support but senco says she doesnt need an iep.
That's just wrong, the school is fudging the issue. IEPs are for a range of concerns, slow learners and ASD included. They may be unsure of why she does need help, but she certainly should have an iep.
They can always review it in the light of further information. You are totally correct, they are making mistakes right now!
As well as her reading, what other areas are you worried about? She may end up with a range of dxs and learning needs.
As a teacher, I tend to find that if a parent raises a concern about their child, it is usually valid and needs addressing.
Professionals are supposed to be experts in a subject, you are the expert on your child. There should be transparency in the relationship between you and the school. How can they maximise your support and make it appropriate and relevant if they aren't honest about her neds and how they intend to handle them?
Sounds as if your GP is good, my B's dx of Aspergers came through a referral from him to Camhs and the Ed Psych. When you've got that, then you can start really putting pressure on the school to meet your daughter's actual needs and be straightforward with you.
I'm so sorry that yet another school seems to be alarmed by a child that might not fit their understanding of what special needs are. It's going to be up to you to educate them.
This site has a huge number of very experienced people who really know their stuff, I've learnt a lot since discovering it. Keep posting, and there's bound to be someone with good ideas and information.
-
Am I right in thinking your daughter is in Year 1?
Are you in England?
Most Year one classes don't get set weekly homework, just daily reading.
At the end of reception, the average child is supposed to be able to read 45 key words, so those that need some extra support are sometimes given the words to take home in Year 1 if they don't know them all.
I send home 10 key words with my EAL children, depending on their personal fluency and grasp of English.
Year 1/2 have a longer list of words to learn over the course of a year, over 100.
There are also the 100 key words that make up 50% of the average piece of reading, and these are often embedded within reading scheme texts. Specific words linked to the current reading book are sometimes sent home.
Phonic work builds phonemes into words, so some teachers have a sound of the week, e.g. oa and focus on words containing it for a week. This might be what the sound book is.
There are so many different reasons why other children may have support materials that your daughter doesn't have, that the only way you will get an answer is to directly question the class teacher.
Is there any reason why you would feel uncomfortable doing this?
You will have to stay calm, you are entitled to information about your child but without personalising it by saying things like:
" Well Sophie has one, and she's nowhere near as good at maths as Beatrix. We have engaged a private tutor to ensure that Beatrix maximises her learning opportunities"
( said to me about a 7 year old and a times table game)
The teacher should be able to explain the role of the keywords and sound book, and why your daughter doesn't have one.
You should have some form of IEP if she's getting a lot of support in class, the teacher should tell you what that entails, and how you can support at home.
-
Weeelllll...
B loves The Levellers.
Specifically the album Levelling the Land.
And one particular track
The Game.
He's had it on repeat for weeks, or is it years? It all blurs into a frenzy of fiddle music in my head.
I think Noriega was shown more compassion.
If I wear headphones to listen to my stuff, I can't hear any impending warfare between B and older sister.
And the sad thing is, it's my CD that he pinched. I used to like that track, a long long long time ago.
-
I know I'm not Elouise, so I don't begin to understand how she feel, but I thought your post was marvellous.
I've printed it out so I can read it the normal way, and really understand what you are saying.
My daughter is Gifted, in the scary incandescent way. She has been a huge challenge in many ways, most of them fantastic. Some of them involved arrogance, inflexibility and severe intolerance of lesser mortals, but she has grown emotionally and socially since then.
My son has AS, with a talent for history and art. Relentless questions and an inability to see when someone is flagging!
Your post was full of wisdom, and I admire your ability to express yourself so well.
Yeah sometimes things are a little more/a whole lot more difficult for ASD kids, most of the time though life is just difficult in a different way.
Thank you.
-
B got his dx of ASD from Cahms, with a lengthy report, and the school was sent a copy.
Don't slap the Senco, contact the Dr whose professional ability and skill is being challenged by a jumped-up teacher who has been on a few courses.
Let the slandered medic point out who is qualified in no uncertain terms.
GRRRR!
-
I'm not surprised you're furious, it sounds as if they can't be bothered to do their job properly.
They told you that they would adapt the circumstances to support him, making reasonable adjustment, agreed with you what they would do, then they didn't do it.
Of course, I don't know you, or your son, but mine is AS and Y7 so...
I'd write a letter to the school, reminding them of what had been agreed and withdrawing my son from PE/Games until they followed up on what was promised, and did it for every session for as long as necessary.
I would copy the letter to Senco, and I would contact the LEA school inclusion team.
You have been willing to work with the school, been flexible and done your utmost. I can't believe they didn't appreciate how important this is.
I would send him without his kit.
Could he go to another area for the duration of the lesson until the conflict is resolved?
If my son was in this position, the ensuing meltdown at the breaking of a promise would make Krakatoa look like popcorn. They would be begging for strategies to control him or at least wear shinpads!
B always turns stress outwards, and the pity and shame of the Education system is that it is the quiet distressed ones who get overlooked and whose needs are neglected by the ignorant.
Time to go to war...my daughter calls it mummy tiger mode!
-
The last two weeks of any school year are not good times for an ASD child to be in school anyway!
Routine tends to be somewhat disrupted, extra stuff is wedged in, everyone is thinking about who they're going to be with in September, and that's just us teachers.
What logical reasons have the school given you, other than a flat refusal?
Can you meet with them and be oily and persuasive about how it is in their best interests to help your boy integrate as smoothly as possible?
Several short visits would be better, building up to his Wednesdays.
If they are stubborn, then the School inclusion team, Camhs, headteacher and Senco of his current school and anyone else who can bring pressure to bear.
My boy is in Y7, and the Secondary school gave him 4 afternoon visits and 2 mornings.
He was accompanied by a TA from Primary, and they began by letting him have guided tours, participate in subject lessons that he really enjoyed, wander round the extensive grounds learning which areas were out of bounds and where things were.
When everyone else turned up for their intro to Secondary day, B was there and managed well.
I believe strongly in pre-emptive strikes if possible, and his new school need to focus on his needs, not their convenience.
They need to get it right, so perhaps you can give them a kick in the right direction!
-
I have several of his excellent books on parenting and totally agree with you.
What good taste you have!
-
No, as a member of the Dragon Appreciation Society we make wax models of Syrian knights and drop them on a small but fierce bonfire.
I'm sure St Francis is a better role model.
-
Oh yes, since he got to Secondary!
I love paragraph 46, it's highlighted in my file that I take to meetings. I planned on having a red file for Y7, an orange for Y8, yellow for Y9.....
When B gets upset, he tends to flatten things in his way, people, bins, tables. The first few incidents weren't handled with much individual thought, but school have been very good since.
Minerva wrote:
" back when Cameron was in a mainstream school they started calling me to collect him & the more they called me the more they needed to.....i'm convinced that he worked out if he threw a chair or punched someone or ran away he'd get to come home to mummy.....
never thought it was a good idea "
That was the point I made, and remade to B's school, exclusion isn't a punishment for him.
They understand and have used internal exclusion instead. It doesn't bother B, once he's calmed down he will deal with the consequences cheerfully, and has been known to sing quietly and happily whilst in isolation. He's not upset, he's occupied. It's happened a couple of times last term. He missed a French test, and a PE lesson, so for him it was a result!
I often wish that I could move on from bad stuff as easily as him. 'No worries, gone now'
-
YH is in Botley Rd, very near the railway station. Point your noses east, and the Ashmolean is 5/10 minutes walk away in Beaumont St. Used to be my old stomping ground as a student many moons ago.
Buy food in the Covered Market, and if it's not raining, have a picnic in Christ Church Meadows.
If it is raining, Oxford is full of fantastic pubs that do food.
Enjoy!
-
I think Noetic pretty much covered it.
B has trouble with new vocabulary, particularly nouns. He also finds remembering alternative spellings for different phonemes tricky; is it oa or o-e?
When he is working on a subject like geography, his answers are well constructed and cover all the points, but his spelling becomes very phonetic. He does forget words he knew if he's learning additional stuff, although after a while ( days, weeks) the mislaid knowledge returns. He's not got any lang/learning difficulties dx. I think it seems to be difficulty in assimilating and embedding new knowledge, squaring it away with what's already there.
We just go over things, revise. I act as his memory on occasion when he's writing things, dictating back what he told me. We've got visual aids around his room as well.
Of course, now learning a foreign language has been added to the mix, life has got a whole lot more complicated!
-
Don't Panic! The media's 3 second attention span may have moved on from Autism...
It's time to blame the women, specifically those feminists that have emasculated the male.
Camille Paglia, Professor of Humanities and Media Studies in Philadelphia has put in her tuppence.
She believes that ' Cho is emblematic of the crisis of masculinity in America.'
' Young women now seem to want to behave like men and have sex without commitment. The signals they are giving are very confusing, and rage and humiliation build up in boys who are spurned again and again.'
She also covers the feminisation of education.
So everything is OK.
God's in his heaven, and Eve is on the naughty step again.
-
No, I think it's just one of my tender places!
I've got a sister and two sisters-in-law, none of whom work, and although I'm fond of them it can be hard sometimes, especially in the run up to Christmas when they're doing all those yummy mummy things that I haven't got time or cash to do.
B has AS, but we didn't work it out until he was in year 4 after years of being thought of as the spawn of Satan by school. I keep thinking that as I'm a teacher, I should have spotted it earlier, been aware, but at home he was never a problem.
Now I know more about it, I recognise a lot of significant AS traits in OH, but maybe if I'd been a full time mum, I'd have been more switched on about B.
Although we'd have been living in a cardboard box on the M62...surviving on roadkill!
-
-
I couldnt have managed working full time, theres not enough of me to go round. I'm working on cloning myself at the mo
Then when you feel your life is getting tricky and things seem very difficult, remember to count this as one of your blessings.
I went back to work when my daughter was 4 months old and not weaned. I had no choice as I paid for everything, OH didn't even earn enough to pay tax. It still bothers me almost 16 years later.
Everyone who is a parent should just try to do the best they can with the cards they're dealt, and most of us do. I can't begin to imagine how the people caught up in this feel, or how the survivors will be able to move on, but the killer's family seem to be bewildered and distressed about what happened
-
Well, my very able and articulate NT 16 year old daughter just wandered in whilst I was reading some of the posts on the V Tech massacre from the Weird Planet Forum.
She read a few and was confused about why people would link it to ASD at all.
She assumes that the possibility of being involved in a shooting or massacre is one of the dangers of being/living in America, which is why she has no desire to ever go there.Her perception of the USA is that it is an aggressive, gun-toting uncivilised and and hostile place. She said it didn't even occur to her that a massacre in a school could have happened anywhere else, despite the fact that we remember Dunblane every year.
This is a very simplistic view, but then so are many of the other media opinions being aired on TV and in the papers.
-
Has anyone heard of this?
It seems to be a Secondary school thing, a lesson for an NT class that has an ASD child/ren. It is supposed to help develop empathy amongst the class for ASD differences.
Any info would be appreciated.
-
Thank you so much for posting!
My boy is lurching through year 7 at the moment. He loves school lessons, it's the bits in between that he can't handle.
When stressed he barges and hits. Fortunately, the first boy this happened to was a year 11 who expected a lowly Y7 to run away and cry after being shoved into a wall. He got a shock.
Not that I'm condoning violence you understand, it's just that there's less damage caused if you're hitting someone 6' and 14 stone.
This prioritised his particular needs and now he's getting better, targeted help and the school are doing their best to keep him mainstream.
It's brilliant to hear from someone further down the line who has survived against the odds, I'm really impressed, and you've given me hope so thank you again.
my positive thread
in Off Topic
Posted · Edited by Bard · Report reply
Just checked, and he's completely crashed out face down on his bed in his daffy duck jim-jams
I agree Baddad!
However weird, wonderful or disastrous the day has been, you sneak in and take a look...
and your heart turns over.
It always gives me the strength to face another day.
Even though mine doesn't wear pjs.