soraya
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Posts posted by soraya
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My son has just started urinating in the corner of his bedroom floor!!! When i asked him why he just said he had funny feelings and had to do it.{ Nick has lots of funny feelings!!}. Even when he was made to clear it up i still caught him doing it again this morning.I am at my wits end already with Nick, but this is just awfull behaviour, my husband is going mad over this but Nick says he cant help it[by the way he is 13!!!]. Has anyone out there had this problem?
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All the best
<'> and welcome to the forum, I just noticed that you are new here.
<'> F x
Thanks so much, it is so good to know that you are not alone, my son Nick is 13 with AS, he is very difficult, aggressive and anxious, also he is refusing school at the moment so it is 24/7 which is driving us both mad!!!!! I can relate to so many of you especially hev, her son steve sounds so much like Nick.
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Today at school ds was kept in his timeout room by a chair on the outside jammied against the handle. He was alone in the room. The playleader from his After School Club went in to get him as school staff said he was too aggressive. She found him in tears so got him up and walked him out. As they were going past his teacher she said that ds shouldn't be in this school , he needed to be in a mental school.I have not heard anything from the school, info from ASC and their incident form.
I am raging. This is a child protection issue in my eyes. At the moment I think my course of action is to get schools version and place concern with child protection dept.
Am I doing the right thing or is there anything else I should do?
Carrie
Is this a mainstream school or a special school? If it is mainstream at least you have a witness who heard the teacher say he shouldnt be there, which is all ammunition to fight the LEA with should you want to change to a decent school!! You poor things how awfull to hear such a hurtfull comment.
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My son takes Luvox for Anxiety and no side effects he was agrophobic without it.Perhaps you could ask the doctor about this medication.
Its hard giving advice for meds as each childs makeup and chemistry is so different, that what works for one doesnt necessarily work with another. Best keep close contact with the doctor until you get it right.
F x
We are going to docs next week, will see what she says. Its such a minefield this medication, so many different ones, i just wish Nick didnt have to take anything but he is so anxious and obsessive at the moment we will try anything to keep sane!!!!
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Hi Soraya,My daughter was on sertraline for a few months. It didn't have any noticeable effect on her anxiety, and she developed a skin rash which may have been linked to it, although we couldn't prove this. She was convinced the drug was causing it and refused to carry on taking it. She went on to another antidepressant: amytripteline, which suited her a bit better.
K x
Hi Kathryn,
Thanks for the info, we will keep going with the sertraline for a while and if there is no change i will see the doc about a different medication
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so is my steven
hes 13 and very aggressive,behaviour def got worse last couple of yearsI was just looking at some old topics and came across the one when steven phoned the police. He sounds so much like my son Nick, he is always ringing child line and the police, saying what an unfit mother l am, the thing is he comes from a very normal loving home, but the way he describes us, is dreadfull, you would think we were the family from hell!!!
l have just discovered this forum, it is so good to hear from others that are going through the same thing. We have had such a bad week, l rang social services to say l could not cope any more, but as yet no one has rung me back!!!! l wouldnt put him into care, but sometimes you get so tired of giving and giving to Nick and not get anything back.
Maybe it is the hormones making him so aggressive and abusive, he can be such a bully one moment and a charming young man the next!!!!. Any way must go he is out on his bike and is late home so l will have to go and search in the car. He broke is fourth mobile phone in a temper tantrum!!!
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My son Nick has been prescribed sertraline, he has been on it for three weeks but have not seen much improvement with his anxiety, he is on 100mg per day. Has anyone else used this and had good results?
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Mine isn't, he's from The Other Place!!
Bid
So is mine especially today, we have been cooking, the kitchen looks like a bomb has exploded
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Nick does go to a special school, only it is an hour away on the minibus. The school is great and Nick is fine when he is there, only he gets very anxious about the journey. We are considering residential schooling, which one does your son go to, it sounds like you made the best move as you son is now happy.
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HiMy son is nearly 18, and from our experience you also have to add in the changing academic expectations at school, too. Things change hugely in Year 9, and the demands and expectations of the work and staff really crank up.
Without wishing to be a doom-goblin, Year 9 was when it all started to fall apart for my son, after a very good Year 7 and 8 (he even got a prize for academic progress in Year 8).
Factor in an increaing awareness of their differences and difficulties compared to their peers, plus all the usual hormonal stuff, and it can be a nightmare.
While I agree with BD and Bard about boundaries, etc, sadly there will be some kids who simply can't cope in a mainstream setting, especially where there is little or no support or understanding of their AS, as in my son's case. I don't know if having a Statement would have made a difference for my son, because at that stage he didn't...he ended up coming out of school with a complete breakdown, and then went to a brilliant residential special school for AS which repaired the damage of 10 years in mainstream.
Hopefully things are a bit better these days, and your son's school is more supportive. Nicks school is very supportive, it is a special school, but it takes an hour on the minibus to get there, he is fine when he is at school, but gets very anxious before he goes, its got so bad now that he refuses to leave the house. We are considering residential schools which one does your son go to?
Hang in there!
Bid
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Hi Soraya. I don't know anything about you, your situation or your son, so I'll just talk about mine.My son is 12 and is roller-coasting through puberty. Hairy bits, spots, inappropriate curiosity about female anatomy, gigantic appetite, poor coordination of over-long limbs, squeaky voice.
He has AS with no other complications, and usually reacts aggressively to situations if he can't cope.
Puberty is always tricky, especially if you're a boy with an emotional age of 8 who takes things literally, doesn't get most jokes and struggles to manage almost every social situation.
Having said that, I agree with Baddad.
We still have the usual rules and boundaries that we have always kept and adapted as he's got older. If your body is in chaos and your mood swings unpredictable, you need to know that some things stay constant, even if you don't agree with them.
B finds it irritating but reassuring, like any other teenager ( My other child is 16 and NT).
We relax some of the rules as and when a situation demands it, eg hurting yourself and swearing, waiting for the right moment before asking for an apology, trusting him to do something that he couldn't manage last month to see if he can manage now, not being disgusted or mortified at some of his questions!
If everything he does that is inappropriate or anti-social is blamed on his dx, you may miss important elements and traits that need noticing. Some things are AS, some things are teenage boy. It's a bewildering combination for everyone involved.
Good luck, and there are many of us in the same boat as you!
It is good to know you are not alone with a teenage boy with AS. Nick is very difficult at the moment as he will not go to school, he is bored and fed up. Still we are going to be getting help from the sussex autistic society to get him back to school,
so i am counting the days!!
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Hi soraya - 13/hormones/aggression/anxiety all go together very well for any child, AS OR NT. Add a side order of 'bipolar' and you pretty much sum up the whole '13' experience
While I think it's true that AS/ASD can add to that mix (bearing in mind that compromised social communication could add to feelings of isolation, low self esteem and other worries) I also think that pat value judgements based purely on the dx can be limiting and dangerous.... if it's assumed that Nicks feelings are all part of a 'standard' pattern of behaviour (AS or otherwise) then other very important factors could be overlooked.
Puberty is a tough road, and different kids handle it differently. Knowing he's got your support will help with that, but (IMHO) solid boundaries and expectations are actually part of that support. If it's evident that some of those boundaries need to be relaxed a little it makes good sense to do so, but I think it's important to do so because theres a demonstrated need, and not because somebody else predicts it.
Hope thats some way helpful
L&P
BD
Thanks for the advice, i agree boundries are very important, but at the moment
nick is fighting them all the way!!
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My son Nick is 13 and is a nightmare at the moment, he is refusing to go to school, and is very anxious and aggresive.Peoplehave said that this is all down to puberty, as asperger kids cant cope with the hormone imbalance. Has this happened to anyone else? we have had a good couple of years with Nick being settled at school, and we are feeling very fed up.
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My son Nick is 13 and is a nightmare at the moment, he is refusing to go to school, and is very anxious and aggresive.People
have said that this is all down to puberty, as asperger kids cant cope with the hormone imbalance. Has this happened to anyone else? we have had a good couple of years with Nick being settled at school, and we are feeling very fed up.
what on earth is going on?
in Help and Advice
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Thanks for replying shadow cat, its good to know i am not alone, the thing is Nick has aspergers and is very verbal but he still cant tell me why he does it. We have an appointment with CAMBS tommorow this will be a challenge for them!!!Still dettol are making a fortune out of me!!!!