Jump to content


  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by soraya

  1. Oh god it sounds awful, yes it is that one, at the moment he is in The Maudsley, in Beckenham, its not too bad but they also have loads of bank staff who are always changing from day to day, which is not good with someone who has ASD. Mind you it is set in beautiful grounds so fingers crossed he stays put!!
  2. My son has got into all sorts of trouble over porn, when he was 18 a girl reported him for inapropriate behaviour, the police came and took his lap top, he had images on there which were not legal and he was arrested. He is now 22, it has taken 3 years for the courts to decide he needs treatment, at long last he is now getting the help he should have had when he was in pubity, due to no sex education as he was a school refuser. It is now costing the NHS a fortune to treat him in a residential unit, this could all have been avoided if he had a Statement when he was at school!!!
  3. My son may be going into St Andrews for treatment, I wondered if anyone has been there and if the treatment is ok.
  4. Hi Paula, i am in the same boat as you, my son is 22 and sounds just the same as yours. We have also been battling to get support over the last 10 years, and we do have a diagnosis. You are notnalone in wanting your life back, it is so hard, especially when people say "he's 22 let him get on with it". His room is a disgrace, i actually left it for 3 months without intervening, but it got to the stage where i thought we could get rats, so i ended up cleaning it!! My son is now in trouble with the police over inapropriate behavour, especially with girls, it looks like due to this we may finally get support, however i went to CAMBS 5 years ago with concerns for the future with girls, but they did not listen, so i won't hold my breath!!! Stay strong, you are not alone. x
  5. My son is 21' and has withdrawn from the world, he is very depressed, and angry with the world. In hindsight the worst thing was sending him to a special school as he has no friends locally. We have tried Princess Trust, apprentiship, and a job locally, all failed due to his need for control, and lack of social skills. Sometimes it is hard to keep fighting and organising things for him, but I keep trying, life is hard when they are adults with no support!!
  6. Hi Paula, you could be talking about my son!! My suituation is exactly the same, my son is also 21, unemployed and stays in his room most of the day. If we challenge his behaviour he gets abusive and angry. I also don't know what to do anymore, since he was 10, I have been saying it will be ok when he is through puberty, then when school finishes, the when college is over, before we know it he is 21 !! And things are still the same. It is so difficult when they are large adults, my son is also overweight, and is bigger than me!! I was also in tears last weekend , so you are not alone, we just have to stay strong!!
  7. We do have two other dogs, but the one who died was Nicks, and is constant companion from when he was 10, so he is really feeling the pain. I am very interested in PDA, I have often thought Nick has this as he argues about everything!!
  8. Hi everyone, sorry for the late reply, well we survived Christmas and the new year, with lots of arguments!! Nick spent all of Christmas day in his room, and had dinner 3 hours after everyone else, he always says he doesn't feel hungry, but I know he finds it difficult sitting at the table with everyone. He says it always ends up with arguments so he avoids it by being on his own. We always do presents after I come home from midnight mass, as he is usually asleep till late Christmas day, and he prefers it to be just me and him. 6 weeks ago we had to have the dog put to sleep, and Nick has taken it very badly, so im sure it made things even harder for him. Lets hope this year is a better one!!
  9. I am wondering if there are any other mums that find Christmas such a challenge. Nick is now 21' but still spends all of Christmas on his own in his room, he will not sit down to dinner with the family, or socialise at all. I have now got to the point that I don't even try to pursuade him to join in anymore, I just find it so sad, and every year I hope it will be different, but it never is!!
  10. Can anyone give me the link to the supplementary form from the NAS for claiming DLA,I used it 4 years ago and it was brilliant, I cant seem to find it now!!
  11. soraya


    I have just managed to get my son to go to the dentist for a check up, he has been told he needs 3 fillings, and he did agree to return for them. this was 6 weeks ago and he has cancelled his appointment for his first filling 3 times!! As he is now 21 I can only advise , any ideas how I can pursuance him to go?😬😬
  12. Thanks for the replies, my son is fishing mad, and he is producing his own freshwater fishing baits, he is very keen, and his uncle has let him use his garage, he had sorted ingredients and packaging, we just need to do some advertising, and wait for the orders, so fingers crossed!!
  13. We have to re apply for DLA,we have been sent DLA forms, as there is such a backlog for PIP, however, I cant seem to be able to find the supplementary forms from the NAS, I click on the link, but It wont work!! They, were brilliant last time we applied, does anyone know how I can get them?
  14. Did your Mum apply for your DLA? Is she your appointee? if she is I don't know if you can change the bank account with the DLA, I am my sons appointee, but when he reached 16, they came tour house, to make sure he was ok for the money to go into my account,and to ask if he still couldn't manage his money, I think this is standard,did it not happen this way for you?
  15. Hi everyone, its that dreaded time when we have to re apply for DLA,the trouble is Nick is now an adult, but his needs are differnent, but just as bad in many ways. We wernt goimg to bother, but then a friend showed me the supplementary forms from the NAS, and we ticked nearly every box!! Does anyone know if the DLA accept these forms as part of the application process? I know it is changing to PIP,but they have sent me DLA forms
  16. thanks matzoball, will give them a ring
  17. My son is wanting to set up his own business, I think this is going to be the only way forward for him as everything else seems to have failed for him. My question is, does anyone out there know if there are any grants available for disabled people to start their own business, I'm sure that I have read that there is, but I may be wrong!!
  18. thanks for your support everyone, it helps to know I am not alone. Trekster, thanks to your suggestion, I have contacted autisum Sussex, and we have a support worker coming in a couple of weeks, I just hope that Nick will open up and talk to them. I haven't told him yet, I keep putting it off as I know he will react badly. Has anyone any suggestions on how to approach the subject with him?
  19. Sorry i have not been on the forum for a while, things have gone from bad to worse. The so called psycologist wasnt very good, she just told us all about autisum, which I already knew, she didnt give us any coping stratagies, and i felt it was a waste of money. The doctor has been usless, he has just upped the dosage of citalopram from 20 to 30mg. There just doesnt seem to be any help out there.Trekster, we have often thought about ODD because it really fits our son!! I know he does have OCD and anxiety, but i still believe if he had a reason to get up in the morning it would help. Sometimes it just feels like this will go on forever, nothing ever turns out ok for Nick, he usually bounces back after things go wrong, but not this time
  20. He just wants to be left alone, and do just what he wants, if I try to speak about getting a job, or looking into any courses he may be interested in we just end up having a row, he gets very angry and goes off, this is when he rings threatening suicide. I do reassure him that we love him and just want to help, but he just says that I am an awfull mother! . We have an appointment in London to see a psychologist about Nick, so fingers crossed, they can help.
  21. Hi Oxgirl, Nick is on antidepressants, they do seem to help keep if calm, but he still really kicks off if things don't go his way. He has threatened suicide in the past, and I'm sure he only does it because he knows it scares the hell out of me and I will back down, but it is very hard to call his bluff when he says he is on the top of a building and is going to jump!! He now has no confidence to go for jobs as so many has failed due to lack of social skills. He refuses to see anyone about his feelings as he will not accept that there is anything wrong with him, it is always someone else's fault. We have been battling this since he was 8, and I keep hoping that one day he will accept he has problems and will seek help. He has seen phychatrists in the past, but has always run out of the room, when they talk about things that make him uncomfortable. My husband and I are going to seek help in dealing with Nick, maybe it is time to call his bluff when he threatens suicide, but it is so so hard:(
  22. My son is 19 and currently unemployed, he spends most of the day asleep, and at night he goes out for a drive or goes on the Internet. Lots of things have failed in his life, ie apprenticeship , jobs, relationships, usually due to social problems. He is very deppressed at the moment, and has no motivation to do anything, if I ask him to help around the house or tidy his room, I just get a lot of abuse. He is the king of manipulationa, and blames me for everything that has happened in his life. Tonight he once again has threatened suicide, he does this if he doesn't get his own way, he phoned me and said he was going to jump off a building because I am such an awfull mother, and I am never there for him!! This couldn't be further from the truth, my life has been my son for the last 20 years. Recently, I lost both my parents, and my son resented the time I spent nursing them, although it was only for a couple of months, due to this I have come into a small inheritance , and now my son keeps asking for money all the time saying "you can afford it ". I really need some professional help in dealing with my son, as I never know weather to take his suicide threats seriously, I really have to stand up to my son but he is so manipulative , he really makes me feel as if everything is my fault
  23. soraya


    Nick has an interview at Sainsburys in a couple of weeks, it is for a general assistant on the night shift, this will be good for him as he is very nocturnal!! On the application he did tick the disability box, does anyone know how this works, and does it effect his chances of getting the job.?
  24. The trouble is Nick doesn't think he has anything wrong with him, it is always someone else's fault when things go wrong, he has even requested a re diagnosis, which his mental health worker has organised for next week (watch this space!,) Also we id try scouts when he was younger, but he was bullied there also!!
  25. Hi lizj, it is so hard to knowvwhat to do for the best isn't it? I hope your trial weekend goes ok, how did your son get his own place, did SS help? I have ask SS about getting Nick his own place but was told that he would only get a room in a house!! I do worry about Nick leaving home as he tends to gravitate towards very dodgy people, especially girls, and always gets himself into all sorts of situations due to his troubles socially!! At the moment Nick is very low as he has nothing in his life at the moment, no friends or job. I am trying to get him to do some voluntary work, but he lacks motivation . We do try to advise Nick, but he will not listen, and our relationship is awful at the moment, like you I have been fighting for 19 years and have had enough!!
  • Create New...